A/N: Hello and welcome. Technically, this is the third part of a trilogy, but should end up being mostly stand alone, so you don't need to read the others for it to make sense. It'll help, certainly, but you should be fine without it. If you've read the first two, welcome back, glad to see you here. Please enjoy!

(also, please review. I take all my sustenance from them)

Prologue

The Auror paced in front of the interrogation table. I maintained my best poker face.

"Just…humour me for a moment," the Auror said finally, brushing his steely grey hair out of his eyes. "So. You're Scorpius Malfoy."

"Yes," I agreed, glancing uncomfortably at the handcuffs I was being kept in. There are many uses for handcuffs that I find somewhat enjoyable, but this is not one of them.

"You finish Hogwarts at the top of your year with O's in all thirteen NEWTs that you sit," he continued.

"Yes," I agreed.

"You eschew generations of family tradition by getting sorted into Gryffindor," he said. I just nodded. "You're the sole heir to the largest family fortune in the Wizarding World, and one of two heirs to the second largest. So why…"

"Why turn to organised crime?" I suggested.

"Yeah," he agreed, nodding like I might be mad. "Oh, and did I mention the job offers? From Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, half of the Quidditch teams in Britain and Ireland, and also from the Ministry itself?"

"Actually it was eighty per cent," I corrected. "Of the Quidditch teams."

"But no," he continued. "Instead you're one of the most notorious criminals in all of England."

"Oh, I also got an award for special services to the school while I was at Hogwarts," I added, mostly just to confuse him further.

The Auror stared at me with a semi-horrified look for a while.

"But why go to crime in the first place?" he asked, sitting down in the interrogation chair across from me.

I sighed. "Well, you see. There's this girl."

He held up his hand to stall me. "Wouldn't happen to be my boss's daughter, would it?"

"Depends on who your boss is," I replied. "If it's Ron Weasley, then sure."

He nodded slowly like he might have a mental breakdown.

"You realise you're going to be here until you tell me everything, right?" he asked.

"I do realise that, Auror…" I prompted.

"McFarlane," he replied. "Please start at the beginning."

I laughed. "You don't want me to start at the beginning," I replied. "The beginning only involves pygmy puffs and love potions."

"Pygmy puffs," McFarlane repeated.

"A really surprising amount of pygmy puffs, actually," I continued. "Did you know they actually have elections for leader? Well, technically, I think the puff running has to be part of the initial bloodline because it's at least partially hereditary, but it's just like those old Disney films with the anthropomorphic animals and-"

"I don't care about pygmy puffs, Mr Malfoy," McFarlane interjected. "So if I don't want you to start at the beginning, where do I want you to start?"

"The beginning was…" I paused to count backwards in my head. With an uncomfortable jolt, I realised it was almost November. "The beginning was seven years ago. You want me to start five years ago."

"Fine," McFarlane replied. "Five years ago."

I smiled. "So five years ago, we were on the Hogwarts Express-"

McFarlane held up his hand to stop me. I fell silent. "Why did you actually agree to tell me everything?" he asked.

"Now McFarlane," I said in my most patronising tone of voice. "I'm one of the most notorious criminals in all of England. Do you really think I'd be here if I didn't want to be?"

He opened his mouth like he meant to argue, then closed it again and nodded that I might continue my story.

"So we were on the Hogwarts Express…"

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