Chapter 10

I'm back I think to myself as I enter my house in 12. Even though I was here only 3 months ago, it feels like I have been gone for ages.

I consider popping into Haymitch's for a while in the evening but then reject it. I really don't want to talk to him right now knowing how close he is to Peeta. Not that I hate him being close to Peeta. Just that I'm scared he'll see through me and know about Gale and as a result, Peeta will too. I really am not ready to talk about him with anyone, much less Peeta. His last words still rang in my mind. I doubt he'd be happy about me and Gale.

Gale. It strikes just how much we have changed yet a still a part of both of us loves each other. We both had changed but not enough to be a new person. Just be better version of what we were. I think we needed to become this, alone without each other, to have what we have now. In a way, what didn't work for Peeta and me, worked for Gale and me- space. We needed to get away from each other. Become what we are now. And only then, we could have had this relationship.

Things might not have gone according to how I wanted them to go but all things considered, they went better than I could have imagined. All the things that never worked, like me and Peeta, my short-lived teaching career, led me to things that in the end were the best thing that could have happened.

I consider telling my mother or Johanna about Gale and me but I stop myself. I realize I'm not yet ready to put what Gale and I have into words. Because I'm afraid we'll jinx it. Which is stupid but still the fear is there.

***…***…***

It's been two weeks since I returned to 12. Things have been going smoothly. Gale and I talk everyday, which is weird because I would never have considered either me or Gale to be talkative, much less over the phone.

Though, I do miss Gale, I know I will see him again soon. He had told me about an upcoming trip of his that involves him visiting 12. I don't know how it will turn out in the long run but for now, I'm focusing on the present. Anyway, I promised Johanna I would visit her again.

I can't help but smile at the memory when I remember how I told Johanna and my mother about this. My mother was happy for me and I suspect, a little smug. Johanna on the other hand, though teased me a little, didn't look like she had her heart in it. I wonder what had happened with her. Maybe I could confront her on this visit.

I was packing stuff up for my trip to Johanna tomorrow. It won't be long, just two days. Which could be too less or too many depending upon how my confrontation with Johanna goes. I wonder whether I should take a jacket or not. Will it be cold in 7? I decide to call Johanna and ask her along with a few other questions.

I pick up the phone and dial her number. The phone keeps ringing. But no one picks it up. Weird, she usually picks it up by the fifth ring. I try again.

This time she picks it up on the first ring.

"Whoever you are, get the hint, I'm not interested in talking to you." I hear on the other end.

"Johanna, it's me. Katniss."

"Katniss, is it? Well, that changes everything. I'm so interested in talking to you." I can hear the sarcasm in her tone loud and clear.

"What is up with you?" I ask her.

"Nothing!"

"Then what's with the happy greeting?"

"I didn't feel like talking to anyone."

"Are you alright?"

"YES."

"Are you sure? I know something's bothering you."

"Aren't you perceptive?" I hear her mutter. Then louder, she adds "Why did you call me?"

"I wanted you ask you about whether it's cold there yet?"

"You called me just to ask about the weather?"

I roll my eyes. "I was asking because I wanted to know whether I should bring a jacket tomorrow or not?"

"What is tomo- oh, you're visiting, aren't you? It slipped my mind."

"Of course. Flattered to see you excited about my arrival." I can't help commenting.

"It's just, Katniss, maybe you shout not visit for a while. Maybe you can cancel it or something…." She trailed off.

"Wait, hold up. You guilted me into planning this trip and now you want to back out. No way"

"I don't know, Katniss. Maybe now is a bad time."

"Johanna, what is it? I'm not angry, just worried. Lately, whenever we talk, you seem upset."

"It's nothing."

"It is something!" I argue.

"Katniss, I said it's nothing. Will you stop badgering me? God! If you're so desperate, come. I figure it must lonely having no one else to bother. I bet Gale is tired of you as well!" she says scathingly and hangs up.

I stand with the phone in my hand still attached to my ear for a minute before banging it back on its hook. What just happened?

My surprise soon turns to anger and I almost cancel my trip. But then I remember the main purpose behind this trip. Something's bothering her and rather than coming out with it, she is lashing out. Though I'm angry at her, I still decide to go.

***…***…***

"Open up!" I bang on Johanna's door.

After what feels like hours, she opens up and I'm surprised at what I find. Johanna. But she looks disheveled, eyes swollen and red. She looks hungover. But that's not all. She is dirty, no, not just dirty. Filthy. Like she hasn't bathed in a year.

"How shameless are you? I thought I made it clear what I thought about your visit?" she tries to say it scathingly but by the end of the sentence she looks like she might cry. What has happened to her? She had always been strong.

I push past her and enter the house, knowing the conversation we need to have should be done indoors. And I'm surprised again. The house looks like a horde of bears decided to run through the house and then some. There are thing scattered everywhere. There arethings scattered near the walls like someone smashed them again the wall.

I turn to Johanna. : "WHAT. IS. HAPPENING?" I ask her. She opens her mouth but before she can say anything, I interrupt "No bullshit excuses, please. Something has happened to you. And if need be, I will sit on your head to get it out." Johanna looked like she might argue but then suddenly she slumped and went into the living room with me following her.

***...***...***

I can't promise when the next update will come but I'll try to make it soon. I know this chapter probably has like a million grammatical mistake but I'll correct them later. And the word 'guilted' was no mistake. I know this is not a word but it still felt like something Katniss would say.

I haven't seen Mockingjay part 1 yet but I have heard reports that Gale seems to be coming across as a douchebag. If this is true, I hate you Lionsgate. Why are you taking all the good things I like about Gale (like even though he recognises Peeta as a rival, he never badmouthed him and understood why Peeta did what he did when he was with the Capitol).