Title: In So Many Words

Summary: Naruto will get Sasuke to succumb to the art of sexting, whether he likes it or not. The only real thing he has to worry about is that pesky autocorrect. Sasunaru

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, coarse language

Note: This is the dirtiest thing I've ever written, but probably not the dirtiest thing you've ever read.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. And neither do you.

Enjoy!

2:44pm
Naruto Uzumaki has messaged you.

"Sasuke"

2:46pm
Sasuke (Bastard) has messaged you.

"What is it, Naruto? I'm in a meeting."

"didn't you ever learn that it's rude to text while others are talking?"

"That's right. Good-bye."

"NO SASUKE. I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING"

"What?"

"... im bored."

"Then go make some macaroni art with your friends. I'm working."

"i already exhausted all my creative abilities. there will be apple pie waiting for you when you get home"

"Is that a euphemism for sex?"

"no i woke up at 11 and baked five apple pies with help from the internet"

"What a good little housewife. Maybe you should get fired more often."

"you wish asshole. im not just your personal cook"

"That's right. You're also my personal whore."

"fuck you. your MY whore."

"*You're. And you didn't seem to believe that last night when I was sucking your brains out."

"OMG sucking my brains out?! like an alien?!"

"*Fucking. Damn autocorrect."

"haha your phone is lame. and if i recall correctly you were panting like an asthmatic dog when we finished"

"Well I'm not the one who spent the majority of last night moaning, 'Sasuke,' like a little birch."

"... birch? like the tree?"

"*Bitch. Shit. It would only make sense that I eventually add the words, 'bitch' and 'fuck' to my phone's dictionary because of you, Naruto."

"haha your just jealous because technology hates you and wont let you insult me"

"*You're. At least my phone is advanced enough to capitalize and punctuate for me. Is this why you failed the third grade?"

"I failed third grade because I moved around a lot douchebag. I'll have you know that I'm perfectly capable of writing at a third grade level now."

"That's right. Forgive me, imbecile. I'm going to go now. Good-bye."

"NO SASUKE I STILL HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY"

"What is it, Naruto? Hyuuga is giving me the evil eye across the table."

"what are you wearing?"

"Naruto. I am in a business meeting. I am wearing a business suit."

"thats not very sexy..."

"When I get home, you'll beg to differ. I'd fuck me in this thing."

"hmm well if your sexy enough you might get some extra pie ;)"

"*You're. Are we still talking about the sugary dessert?"

"warm sweet delicious pie"

"With whipped cream? ;)"

"=O o god Sasuke dont do the winky face"

"Why not? You did it."

"yah but when I do it its hot. when you do it its creepy"

"Fine. I really should go now, Naruto. I think my brother knows I'm not paying attention."

"NO SASUKE WAIT"

"Please tell me this is worthwhile."

"you never asked me what I was wearing"

"If I do, will you leave me to my work?"

"maybe"

"What are you wearing?"

"guess"

"A bunny costume?"

"no"

"I have no other guesses."

"*sigh* you uncooperative bastard"

"Are you going to tell me what you're wearing?"

"ah so your interested now?"

"*You're. No, I'm not interested. I'm just tiring you out so you can take your afternoon nap like all the other children."

"shut up so i can tell you what im wearing"

"Fine."

"im wearing absolutely nothing"

"Is that so?"

"yah. and im in our bed"

"Prove it."

"how"

"Send me a picture."

"but im horny"

"Tell me how horny you are."

"so horny"

"Hn. That doesn't sound very convincing. Maybe I should pay attention to the meeting."

"no Sasuke im so fucking hot right now. i want it so bad Sasuke. i wish you were here"

"Tell me what you would do if I was there."

"i would let you watch me jack off"

"That's terribly selfish. You wouldn't even give me a handjob?"

"only after i cum. then i would give you whatever you want"

"What if I want you to suck my cock?"

"then i would get on my knees and swallow that huge dick"

"Would you let me fuck your face like a whore?"

"yah. i want to make you moan like you always do when I suck on your balls"

"Slut. Do you feel dirty when there's cum and spit all over your face?"

"so dirty. i want you to smear your hot juice on my skin"

"Would you lick my cock clean?"

"yes. then i would wipe all the cum off my face with my fingers and suck them dry"

"What a dirty slut. You love tasting my cum, don't you?"

"i do. especially when its warm and fresh"

"Tell me what you'd do next."

"i would go back to the bed and start fingering myself while you watch"

"How many fingers?"

"just one at first. but more later because you have such a huge cock"

"Would you watch me while you fuck yourself with your fingers?"

"yes. i want my hands to be your hands. id let you do whatever you want to me"

"Would you let me shove my prick into that tight, hairless ass of yours?"

"yes. thats what i want. Sasuke i want you inside me"

"Do you like the feel of my hot, thick, boner between your cheeks? Does it make you moan?"

"yes fuck yes. Sasuke your dick makes me so hot. i want it so bad"

"Would you beg me to fuck you as hard and fast as possible?"

"god yes. fuck me into the bed. can you spank me like you did last week?"

"Naruto, I would spank you until both your ass cheeks are cherry red. Do you like how it hurts?"

"i do i love it Sasuke you fuck me the best"

"Would you let me fuck you against the wall?"

"mm yes. slam me into the wall."

"Or maybe in the bathroom. I would lean you over the sink so you could see your face as I fuck you from behind."

"fuck yes yes Sasuke im so fucking turned on right now thinking of you fucking me"

"Are you close?"

"so close"

"Send me a picture."

"but Sasuke im so close"

"Naruto. Picture. Now."

3:18pm

Naruto Uzumaki has sent a picture.

"Fuck, Naruto. I'm so hard."

"Sasuke im gonna cum"

"Cum for me."

"oh sweet fucking caroline that was amazing"

3:23pm

"Sasuke?"

3:25pm

"yo bastard are you there?"

3:28pm

"youre such an asshole. to think i just sent you a naked picture of myself. ungrateful jerk. no sex for you when you get home."

3:38pm
Sasuke (Bastard) has messaged you.

"Hello, Naruto. This is Itachi. Since I'm contacting you from my little brother's phone, you should be able to deduce that I've temporarily confiscated it. I have also taken the liberty of reading your half hour's worth of conversation aloud to the rest of the employees present at this regulatory hearing, since both you and Sasuke seem to believe that it is more important than my company. Please refrain from distracting my brother from his work in the future. And don't worry; I will inform him of what he will not receive from you upon his return home. See you at Christmas."

END

I feel dirty. Do you?

I have another chapter ready to go, but I don't know whether to post it as the same or a different story, since it's not in the same format, but has the same idea, just with a bit more substance and perhaps some plot. Any suggestions?