devotion - A strong attachment (to) or affection (for a cause, person, etc.) marked by dedicated loyalty

Devotion Chapter One

Gibbs team was at one of the most gruesome crime scenes they have ever witnessed when Tony DiNozzo got the call.

"DiNozzo!" Tony answered, allowing the camera he was using to document the scene to hang loosely around his neck.

"Hello? What? Joe? Hang on...I can't hear you!" Tony hurried to get outside as his mobile service was weak inside the warehouse. He avoided the coagulated pools of blood that had formed near the bodies littering the abandoned building's floor.

Tony removed the camera from around his neck and handed it to McGee as he passed.

Kate and Tim looked at Tony with concern as he made his way through the carnage.

Tony did not miss the annoyed glare Leroy Jethro Gibbs shot his way.

"Sorry Joe, repeat what you just said?" Tony asked as the connection became clear as he stepped outside.

"I'm sorry to call you with this, Tony, but Spence has been shot."

Cold silence filled the air.

Then Tony heard the words that broke his heart and his world.

"He's dead Tony. I'm so sorry."

Gibbs stepped out of the warehouse ready to rip Tony a new one for taking personal calls at a crime scene, especially one like this. Two marines gutted like cattle, their intestines strewn about the building with four others shot execution style lying in a pile. It appeared to be a drug deal gone horribly wrong. It would take everything his team could do to figure it out. He needed Tony to be on top of his game.

As he approached his SFA he saw Tony's jaw go slack and he lost all color in his face. Tony's cell phone dropped from his hand and broke into pieces as it hit the ground. Gibbs moved quickly to catch Tony as he began to lurch forward.

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs yelled as he caught Tony in time.

Tony turned his face towards Gibbs. The shock and utter pain Gibbs saw in Tony's emerald eyes softened him immediately. He hugged Tony tightly. He could feel Tony's body trembling.

"What's happened Tony?" Gibbs asked, genuine concern in his voice

"Spence is dead, Gibbs!" Tony sobbed

"NO! How?" Gibbs yelled pulling back to look Tony in the eyes.

Gibbs expression now mirrored Tony's shock and pain.

Tony was shaking his head back and forth as he said "I don't know the details. His partner, Joe, called to tell me he had been shot and that he's dead! God Gibbs! What am I going to do?"

Tony started to pull away from Gibbs.

Gibbs could tell Tony was close to losing it so he pulled him in closer.

Tony struggled against his boss trying to break free. The more he fought the harder Gibbs held him.

"Let me go, Jethro!" Tony pleaded

"NO! You need to calm yourself, Tony. Let me help you. I am going to call Director Morrow and ask that Balboa's team take this one. Then you and I will go find Spence okay?"

Tony stopped struggling and looked at Gibbs. He shook his head in agreement.

Gibbs took Tony's head in his hands and staring him straight in the eyes said "Keep it together for me Anthony. I will take care of this, you hear me?! I will be right back. I need to give Kate and McGee instructions. Stay here and wait for me!"

Tony leaned against the warehouse wall watching as Gibbs walked back. He heard him talking with Morrow arranging for the other team. He saw Gibbs snap his phone shut as he disappeared into the warehouse.

Tony had no idea how long it took for Gibbs to get back. It could have been minutes or hours. Tony's mind had traveled to a blank oblivion. He couldn't even begin to process that his lover, his partner, his best friend, Riley Spencer, was gone.

Forever had ended with that one call.

Tony felt the strong hand wrap around his bicep and he moved with the body that led him towards a car. He could feel the seat as he was pushed down into it and he felt the snug tightness of the seatbelt as he was buckled in securely.

He heard an authoritive voice trying to comfort him but he didn't answer. He had no words to bring forward. He tried to convince himself he was dreaming or may be under the influence of drink or drugs. Maybe he had a concussion and when he came to he would find Spence at his bedside comforting him and giving him shit for getting hurt yet again.

A light head slap brought reality back into focus.

Tony turned to his left to see Gibbs looking at him with deep concern.

"You with me, DiNozzo?"

"Yes"

Gibbs heard Tony say softly, as Tony leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes.

"We'll be there soon, Tony. Try to rest."

Tony wanted to cry but he wouldn't break, not yet. He had cried in front of his boss only once before and regretted it ever since.

Besides, his Father's words played over and over in his head.

"DiNozzo men do not cry, Anthony! DiNozzo men do not pass out, Anthony! DiNozzo men never show weakness, Anthony!" Blah, Blah, Blah!

His father was an emotional wasteland. So many rules on what not to do that Tony had no emotional arsenal to drawn on to deal with this kind of loss.

Even when Tony lost his mother at a young age, his Father treated the event like it was just a hurdle to get over and move on.

Tony corralled his emotions and felt his heart begin to harden. He would have to take this road if he had any chance to survive.

Gibbs turned to look at Tony every few minutes. His heart broke for him. Gibbs felt the loss as well. Riley Spencer had been his best friend for years. They had served together as Marines and had both entered law enforcement after the corp. Spence was happy working the streets of D.C. He excelled in the day to day action. He had a wicked sense of humor, loved movies and quoted from them incessantly. He was loyal, trustworthy and dependable. When Gibbs decided to play matchmaker between Spence and Tony he knew they would either hate each other on sight or fall head over heels. It had been the latter.

Gibbs had decided to introduce Tony to Spence two years ago. He had both selfless and selfish reasons. He loved both men and wanted them to be happy. He and Spence had never slept together but they had shared their bisexuality when serving their country. It was before DADT and you kept it all shoved into a very deep closet.

Spence, like Gibbs, was bisexual. Spence had married and had a couple of kids before he finally realized he was more gay then bi. His wife kicked him out of their house and he moved in with Gibbs for a while. Spence bought his own home and maintained a civil relationship with his ex. He tried to keep active in his kid's lives but his job made it difficult. His kids grew up and were off to college in what seemed the blink of an eye.

Gibbs was madly in love with Shannon when they married and Gibbs would still be in a committed monogamous relationship with her, if she had lived. Her murder and that of their precious Kelly put him over the edge. He would seek solace where he could, either men or women. He was a man who was drawn to a one on one relationship and all that involved. It is because of this he married three more times before he finally threw in the towel.

When he met Tony in Baltimore he was instantly smitten with the brash, handsome detective. Gibbs recruited Tony for NCIS because he excelled as an investigator. Tony also reminded him of his best friend, Riley Spencer.

Gibbs had never been attracted to Spence but he was very attracted to Tony. Gibbs had kept his desires for Tony at bay. He was doing a great job of that until he and Tony had way too much to drink after a hard case. They were sitting on the couch, the embers from Gibbs fireplace the only light in the room. Tony made the first move. Gibbs learned that night his womanizing, skirt chasing, braggart SFA was actually bisexual and professed being in love with Gibbs.

They had groped each other and Gibbs found Tony really knew how to kiss. Gibbs was lost in the passion of Tony's hot mouth and soft lips when the realization he was kissing his subordinate kicked in. Tony had had much more to drink then Gibbs. Tony was so vulnerable at that moment; Gibbs was determined not to take advantage of him. If he had been a weaker man, he would have given in to his carnal desires and bent Tony over the couch fucking him into next week.

Gibbs rejection had made Tony very emotional. Tony had actually cried when Gibbs told him it would never work. Gibbs was adamant in his reasons. They worked together, He was Tony's boss and he had rules in place for that very reason.

"FUCK RULE 12, JETHRO!" Tony had yelled at Gibbs. "I know you want me as much as I want you! Don't shut the door on something that could be really fantastic!"

Gibbs would not give in. Tony fought the despair he felt in losing love, yet again. Their working relationship remained intact but it took a while for them to be just friends again.

He and Gibbs agreed to never talk about that night again.

Gibbs grew concerned when Tony started masking his feelings and hiding himself behind a persona Gibbs knew was not anywhere close to the real Anthony DiNozzo. He wanted Tony to have stability and love in his life. He wanted to be the one Tony could count on for that but he just couldn't allow himself that pleasure. Ducky honed into the dynamics of their relationship early on. He chastised Gibbs for not allowing himself the happiness he deserved. He also thought Gibbs was taking Tony for granted when it was apparent how Tony felt about Gibbs. This revelation prompted Gibbs to act.

He had a gut feeling Riley Spencer and Anthony DiNozzo would be perfect for each other.

His gut proved to be right. Spence and Tony had it all for almost two years.

Gibbs looked at Tony. His eyes were still closed but Gibbs noticed a single tear roll down his cheek. He wanted to reach out and wipe it away. He wanted to take Tony into his arms and tell him everything would be okay. He wanted to tell Tony he loved him, that he had always loved him. He wanted to confess that he regretted the day he introduced Spence to him. He did want his friends to be happy and to have love, but Gibbs had finally realized he had lost something he wanted desperately. He wanted Tony DiNozzo all to himself.