[under grey skies]

. . .

He watches Jason from afar, perched in a sturdy elm tree with a book on mechanical engineering sitting in his lap, his goggles askew.

The way the sunlight shines, it hits the angle of the sword just the right way, and Jason's wearing a shirt with the sleeves cut off. When he swings, the sun makes his arms look like they're shining gold. His best friend laughs raucously, jousting with the rest of his buddies, and they all look like proper soldiers. Real soldiers, soldiers that could take down all the Giants in the world.

Leo turns away.

. . .

The first time, it is awkward. Strange. Totally and utterly fucked-up, even for demigods like themselves, but what can you say?

He's lying on his bed, staring at the notches carved into the wooden panels above him. Tallies, declarations of love, even the occasional expletive, and he wonders how the counselors don't catch these things. Maybe they don't care. The cabin smells like sawdust and it's a hot July afternoon and there's nothing for him to do besides fiddle around with his gadgets and gewgaws. A metal ladybug hops around on his nightstand, making odd whirring noises that sound like a cross between a robin's chirp and a horse's neigh. He'll have to fix that.

And then Jason comes in, bare-chested and dripping wet, a towel wrapped around his waist.

(Leo tries not to let his eyes linger on the v-shape of his hips, but he can't)

"Swimming?"

"Skinny-dipping, actually," Jason explains bluntly, with a certain kind of carelessness that is just so Jason and also a strange suppressed excitement underlying the statement. Suddenly, the cabin is ten degrees hotter and Leo needs to get out, get out before he makes a bad decision.

"Leo? Is something wrong?" Oh shit, now Jason's being inquiring. Leo squirms under the covers, feeling warmth flood his face.

"Nothing's wrong," he manages to choke out, but Jason's only inches away from him, and he can see every bead of water on Jason's taut stomach-

And then Jason is sitting on Leo's bed, and Leo is trying hard to cover up his lap. Jason frowns.

"Dude, you look like you're gonna barf anytime this minute. You sure you don't-"

"No!" he yells, then when Jason gives him an odd stare, he amends it to a quieter, "No. It's fine. Just-go back to your skinny dipping and whatever, okay?"

"Leo-"

That's when Leo kisses him. Jason. His bro. Full on the mouth.

He's not sure exactly what he expects; shock, for one, and maybe disgust?

But Jason surprises him.

Jason kisses back.

Leo's heart explodes.

. . .

They wake up and feel... loss? Leo feels sad that Jason is lying next to him, and he wonders if Jason feels the same way. They haven't had sex, but Jason's warm, his body is solid, and it feels nice with his head resting against Jason's shoulder, lulled to sleep by the taller boy's steady breathing.

He asks Piper if she has any advice about love. Piper grins and slaps him on the back.

"Leo, you player! You've already got a girl in mind?" she asks, winking. If there's anything about Piper, she really is a daughter of Aphrodite when it comes to matchmaking.

"I guess you could say that," he answers, keeping his voice casual. But inside, his stomach is doing flip-flops.

. . .

When Jason starts getting closer to Piper, Leo thinks, It's okay, he's just getting to know her better, they're just friends, we're all still friends, kind of, sort of, I hope.

. . .

He wakes up one night on their quest to find Jason stoking their fire, not really looking at anything. His hair is tousled, indicating that he just woke up, and his face glows orange against the radiance of the flames.

"Hey," he says by way of greeting.

"Hey, you," Jason answers.

Piper is sleeping soundly. Somehow, Leo's lips find Jason's and Jason's arms are wrapped around his back and they are kissing like that July day in who-knows when.

For one night, his fears are dispelled.

. . .

Then, there is the quest, which finishes itself up as all quests do. With fear, and fighting, and Leo feeling like he's smaller than ever in the presence of a real, genuine Giant.

Jason and Piper save the day. Leo does nothing, feels like he's worth nothing, and curls up on the ground and tries to make himself disappear.

. . .

There's a girl named Reyna, too.

Piper is distraught. Leo is heartbroken.

. . .

"I thought you loved me."

The words come out harsher than he intended, but maybe it's better that way. Leo grits his teeth and folds his arms. Jason, for the first time in forever, looks weak. Vulnerable.

"I do, Leo."

"Then... Reyna?"

"She was my girlfriend."

"You're bi, then?"

"Well... yeah, I guess." Jason's getting uncomfortable, his eyes are darting around, but Leo's giving him no space to escape.

"Why haven't you told anyone?"

"Because I thought you would do it."

"You won't do it because you're afraid," Leo barks. "That's what you really are. Desperate for the acceptance of your own people."

"Leo." Jason is pleading. "Don't."

"Too late."

. . .

He tells.

Jason is furious. Leo feels vindicated.

Now who's heartbroken, fucker?

. . .

"Bastard!"

Leo scowls. "You knew it was coming."

"I told you not to tell. I told you. I trusted you, Leo, to keep this a secret." Jason's eyes are sad-angry, and Leo's not quite sure what to do with a sad-angry son of Zeus who could be his lover but who's too afraid to admit it. Well, now he's done it for the both of them, and Jason can only fume. "You broke my trust."

"Why don't you want it to be told?" Leo glares bitterly at the blonde boy. "It was going to come out eventually."

"Eventually." Jason stresses the word, his hands clenched into fists. "You said you'd keep this under wraps. You promised."

"You said you loved me."

"Leo, dammit, now's not the time!"

"Now's the perfect time," Leo counters. He's angry as well, and decides to go for the low blow. "What, afraid Reyna's gonna dump you because you made out with a guy? Are you gay, Jason?"

The air crackles. Lightning gathers in Jason's palms. The dude really is pissed off.

So is Leo.

"You know what? You can shove this," he sticks up his middle finger, "right up your denying ass."

Ozone, sharp and strong, fills his nostrils. Jason's hair stands on end, his t-shirt billowing. Leo reaches inside himself as well, feels the fire brimming, coalescing around his fingertips. It's surprisingly easy, he finds; like lighting dry wood with a match. It's warm, and it's as furious as he is, and it's a gun in his hands.

Jason shoots. Leo shoots.

The cabin bursts into a million skyrocketing pieces.

. . .

He wants to say, You could be the Golden Boy if you wanted. You could be Batman, I could be Robin. Always. For an eternity.

He wants to say, I just wanted to lie in the shade of your shadow, look up at you, and smile.

He wants to say, Didn't you love me, you bastard?

. . .

He still watches Jason from afar.

The thing is, Jason doesn't look back.