Thanks to AllyInDC for the idea and the wonderful cover art!

You've tried to find a spark

of the flame that burned

and somehow turned

to smoke rings in the dark.

The clock on the wall ticks loudly, mocking him as he stares out the window, his sweaty palms tight against the thighs of his jeans. He's been silent for too long now, feels it in her stare, in the absent scribbling of pen against paper. His breaths echo in his ears, slow and ragged, everything left unsaid, words that don't spill easily from his lips.

"Mr. Castle - "

His eyes slam shut.

"I don't know how to answer your question," he sighs out, scraping a hand through his hair.

God, what the fuck is he doing here, anyway? He should be at the precinct with the boys, trying to track down Kate's sniper instead of sitting in this damn room like a fucking basket case.

"Okay. Fair enough."

His eyes snap to hers. "It is?"

She smiles. "I'm sure if it were a simple answer, you wouldn't be here."

He scoffs. "It wasn't my idea."

She doesn't look surprised. "Oh? Whose idea was it?"

He softens, hesitating. "My daughter's."

She looks up at that, her pen falling from her fingers. "She's worried about you."

Understatement of the year. "Yes."

"Why don't you tell me about her?"

"My daughter?"

"She obviously means a great deal to you, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Tell me about your relationship with her."

He relaxes a little, unclenches his fists. This part he can do.

"My little girl, Alexis, she - " he lets out a breath, shaking out his thoughts, "she's something else. Smart. Brave. Practically fearless." He laughs hollowly. "She's not afraid to stand up to me."

"And how old is she?"

"She'll be 18 soon." The words are heavy on his tongue, sinking into his heart.

"So you were relatively young when she was born."

"Yeah. Just out of college."

She nods. "And where is her mother?"

"She lives in LA. Alexis doesn't see her much." He sighs. "It's mostly just been the two of us."

"Stands to reason then that she'd be particularly protective of you."

He shrugs. "I guess."

She stares at him for a moment and he shifts uncomfortably under her steady gaze. "I'm gonna have a cup of coffee."

Um. What?

She tosses her pad onto her desk, shoving the sleeves of her light sweater up to her elbows. She's pretty, he thinks absentmindedly. She's not tall, at least a solid eight inches shorter than he is. Her wavy, dark blonde hair travels down her back, sweeps across her forehead, just above her blue eyes.

Mid-30s if he had to guess, around Kate's age.

And comes highly recommended, oddly enough. He's not sure what he was expecting, but she's definitely not it.

"Would you like some?" she asks with a friendly smile, gesturing to the coffee pot in the corner. "If I don't get in a few sips, my mid-afternoon slump kind of runs me over, you know?"

He smiles a little. "Half a cup would be great."

She busies herself, flicks a couple of packs of sweetener before stirring it into her cup. She hands him a black mug, small and unassuming. He doesn't drink black coffee often, but he's so exhausted, tired of fighting, of everything catching up to him. He takes a long gulp, relishing the bitter slide of it down his throat.

After settling into her chair, she inches over her knees, elbows to her thighs, cradling the steaming mug in her hands. "How have the two of you been getting along lately?"

"Kate - " he stammers out reflexively. His face goes hot, so damn used to arguing about her. He exhales slowly, shoving the mug between his legs as he gets ahold of his bearings. "You meant me and Alexis," he says quietly.

She looks thoughtful. "Mr. Castle -"

"Call me Rick."

Mr. Castle. He can't even hear the words anymore without thinking about the disdain that pours out of Iron Gates' mouth.

Go home, Mr. Castle. The 12th precinct has no room for a hotshot mystery writer looking to play cop.

He's pretty sure he hates her a little bit.

"Rick, I'm trying to do the best I can not to force your hand here. The only reason I ask about Alexis is because she seems to be a comfortable topic for you. But if you'd rather discuss - Kate, you said? - then, please - "

He shakes his head firmly. "No. I don't wanna talk about her." He sighs. "Not yet, anyway."

Every time he talks about her - thinks about her - the fist in his chest gets larger, squeezes his heart more forcefully.

It's been six weeks. Six weeks since he walked out of her hospital room, the promise of her call the only thing keeping his disappointment at bay.

The call that still hasn't come.

He'll be damned if he picks up the phone first. Not this time.

"And I won't push you to talk about her," she pauses. "Not yet, anyway."

His eyes snap to hers - to this woman who somehow manages to keep him on his toes after only minimal time in his company. Jesus. No wonder everyone raves about her.

He swallows. Time for a change of subject. "It's Alexis' last year in high school and I think - I know - she's got it in her head that I won't be able to take care of myself after she goes away to college." He hesitates. "That I'll be reckless."

She frowns. "Reckless, how?"

He waves his hand. "Emotionally."

She lifts her eyebrows. "And have you been?"

Uh. "No?"

Well, he doesn't think so, but Alexis has other opinions.

Of course.

She sets her coffee cup down, crossing her legs. "You sound unsure."

"I wasn't prepared for the question," he says defensively.

"Okay," she hums. "So you and Alexis haven't been getting along well."

He frowns. "I didn't say that."

"But you did, Rick. You told me that Alexis is worried you'll be reckless when she's gone, which implies that she feels you're acting that way now." She pauses. "But you just said you weren't."

Jesus Christ. He really wasn't prepared for this today.

"I promise I'm not attacking you." She smiles kindly. "And I just have one more question for you today, if you'll humor me."

He eyes her skeptically. "Okay."

"This woman that you're so hesitant to talk about - Kate. Is she at the root of all this?"

He clenches his jaw. "Yes," he says roughly.

"Okay."

Okay? "That's it?"

"I don't usually ask my clients to stay for a full session their first go 'round. There tends to be a lot of anxiety, which I'm sure you can imagine is relatively counterproductive." She looks amused. "Unless you'd rather stay."

"No, no," he says quickly. He scrambles out of his chair and replaces his coffee cup, wiping the nervous sweat from his brow. When he reaches the door, she stops him.

"I know today wasn't easy for you, Rick. But I'm hoping eventually you'll trust me enough to realize that I'm only here to help you."

He lets out a shaky breath, his head falling to rest against the door briefly. "Me too."

This starts off in canon, but as this progresses, it'll shift things quite a bit. And despite what this may imply (or may not) imply, Alexis is merely a catalyst in this story. The main conflict concerns Castle's relationship with Kate.

Thanks for reading.

Liv