Although Barney wasn't entirely sure if he struck the right way, he was sure, following the ever-increasing stench of toxic waste and the increasing frequency of mutated forest creatures by the roadside, would have to lead him into the right direction. After all, the nuclear power plant itself was hard to overlook, and soon he had made it to the parking lot where the guard at the barrier had long since fallen asleep.

Nevertheless, Barney drove as careful as possible over to the hut, lifted the barrier himself, got back into his car, and entered the power plant area.

"The boozehound howls ...!", he softly called, as he drove past a few inconspicuous elderberry bushes, "The boozehound howls!"

And almost immediately three adult men (at least judging from their biological age) rushed through the foliage and hopped directly into the car, one in the front, two in the back seat.

Not one second later Barney, Homer, Lenny and Carl had left the nuclear power plant far behind them.

"Friends, this is a new record! We fled exactly ten and a half minutes earlier from work!" Lenny called jubilantly from the back seat.

Homer nodded, "Now it's full speed ahead!"

"I can't wait!" Barney agreed.

"There it finally is!", Carl exclaimed, as Barney halted directly at Moe's.

Filled of energy, the four friends rose, maybe just about ten feet separated them from their temporary happiness, as they stopped suddenly.

A voice came through the stained glass windows and they could only associate it with words like unpleasant and direful.

"What is Smithers doing here?", Homer murmured, in a slightly alienated tone.

"You know him?", Barney said.

"Yes. And you know him too?", asked Homer in response.

Quickly Barney told them all about last night.

"Ha, that's fascinating!", Carl laughed, "The guy who used to be our boss is going to wipe up our spilled beer ...!"

"I certainly won't miss that!", Homer cried with renewed enthusiasm and went ahead, as all four finally entered the bar, just to solidify completely, as they were barely over the threshold.

What they saw made their veins freeze and their breath caught.

Smithers had looked over to them just seconds before he hastily leaned over the counter to grab Moe by the shoulders and engage him in a very passionate kiss, as if both of them were intoxicated with some heavy aphrodisiacs - or as if the bar had finally served alcohol that wasn't watered down.

"Oh my God!"

Barney had finally spoken, what was on the tip of each of their tongues and within a matter of seconds, Moe tore himself away from Smithers. With a dead serious expression on his face, he formally began to explain, "Smithers here passed out after going to the beer cellar for the first time. I had to revive him"

"By kissing him deeply?", Homer interrupted in his trademark innocent, but tactless way, while Lenny and Carl were giving each other ambiguous glances and Barney represented the analogy of mental devastation.

Meanwhile, Smithers had pushed Moe away, "He didn't kiss me because I passed out", he revealed, "Moe and I are a couple"

"Oh my God", Barney repeated and slowly sat down on one of the stools. He felt a giddy foreboding about him having to pass out with the coming of the next revelation.

"I want you to tell all your colleagues at the nuclear power plant, I want you to tell your wifes, your friends and your cats and dogs!", Smithers went on, while everything inside him screamed at the thought of being forced to have his sexuality confessed in that way. But now, after he had dared to take a step on the brink, he had to jump over it, before he the ground beneath him began to crumble.

"Everyone?", Homer repeated, as if it were a foreign word. Carl asked the sensible question, that is to say, "Why?"

Moe opened his mouth to explain, but with a mere gesture Smithers silenced him. Again, he turned to the four friends, saying, "Just because. I know very well that this town likes to gossip a lot, and I wanted to clarify that you can tell what you saw whom you want. Moe and I stand by our feelings"

Smithers turned his head slightly, to inspect how the bartender dealt with the situation he caused.

"Isn't it true, Moe-Moe, my monstrous mouse?", He whispered with the falsest grin imaginable and as low-key as possible, behind his back, he pushed the last few dollars he had in his pocket towards the bartender, and stared at him insistently.

Luckily for Smithers, Moe's reaction didn't take very long to happen.

Frail, thin arms wrapped around him, as his supposed lover, cheered in a somewhat over the top voice performance: "It's true! I can't get enough of my sweet sycophantic Smitty!"

It took the whole rest of the evening, but then finally, Moe had managed, by the skin of his teeth and with thousands and thousands of promises made, to ensure his barflies that, without any doubt, that "Moe's" would never again in a lifetime become "Mo's".

But the restless feeling in the air still didn't subside, and when it was finally time for the men, to return home again to their better halves, once again, the only guy left in the bar, was the one man, who had none.

"Barney, you barely spoke anything today", Moe muttered and sounded even a little worried. He had sent Smithers down the beer cellar for dusting off, so Moe could take his usual dinner at the counter, consisting of a ready-made meal from a can and Duff.

During the evening, it had transpired to be very difficult for Smithers to get through his usual workload, which could be explained as the job of a handyman for everything. In regard of Smither's habit in even helping his former boss with eating, Moe had been able to successfully evade this certain quirk.

Barney, in the meantime, was focused on his own despair in not knowing what to despair over. Should he be sorry for himself or happy for Moe or was he even in love with Moe at all? Maybe it was just his loneliness which pushed him into things. He sighed, "Moe, why do you love this guy that everybody hates?"

"What? What are you sayin'?", Moe exclaimed, and spoke a bit quieter, as he continued, "You don't actually really believe that this school drama is serious business, do ya'?"

"What?"

"Smithers paid me for it. All he wants is to make Burns jealous and employ him again"

Barney was silent for quite a long while, in which he felt incredibly silly.

"That means you're free?"

It just gushed out of him and it seemed like his slight nausea caused this dam failure. Moe, in the meantime, choked on his dinner, and almost on the fork as well.

After a very extensive coughing fit, which got Barney only into more guilt, Moe was able to muster words that made sense again.

"Wha-hat did you say?", he asked hoarsely.

Barney hesitated, but he knew there was no turning back now . Moe had told him the truth about Smithers, now he had to pay back the same decency.

Barney sighed. It really was hard saying these things.

"Moe", he finally said, "I'm romantically interested in you"

There. This sounded much better than the old stupid "I love you". Too bad really, that Moe on the other hand didn't quite understand what he meant by that.

"Y'know, Homer told me the same thing on the day, when thought he would croak in a few hours - they all say the same when they have drunk too much - or when they are dying" Moe lowered his head thoughtfully. "How interesting. The only honest declarations of love, I've ever recieved, were always given to me in a drunken state. Also, you aren't dying, are you?"

"No! I'm not!" Barney cried out, "I love you!"

"I know. I like you too. But maybe your debt list from today's evening is right. You really drank too much. I should probably close. That Smithers workin' way too hard. I don't think I can handle overtime premium", Moe cawed, and it sounded bitter.

But Barney wasn't finished, "And why did you actually accepted his job? Isn't that even beneath you?"

"No", the bartender replied sullenly, "Not quite yet. And besides, I can gain two things out of this deal - play acted devoted affection of another humanoid creature and cash"

Barney gave up and exasperation clogged his throat. Give Moe one single shadow of a chance for money, and Angel-Moe, on his right shoulder, was immediately hanged. Now his only hope was that this game Smithers was playing would be completed as quickly as possible.

Meanwhile, Lenny and Carl were already on their way home, on foot, since Barney had shuttled them to Moe's with his car, and as always, they discussed together the events of the day.

"So slimey Smithers has finally come out ...!", Lenny mused, "If you consider how long he had already tagged along behind old Burns - Well, but then again, he was fired, which must have been terribly devastating for him - maybe even life-changing"

"Yes, it's a tragedy," Carl interrupted sarcastically, and with a slight kick a Duff can flew over the curb before it rolled across the street to come to a standstill on the other side, "Can't we talk about the new Miss Springfield? "

"Of course", Lenny immediately agreed, in his eternal bliss, "But didn't you too notice, that Barney behaved a bit strange as well?"

Carl looked up from the floor and directly into Lenny's wide-open eyes. "Strange ...? No, I didn't notice ... "

"He didn't talk all night, not even with Homer", Lenny said, and added mildly offended, "Hey, Carl ... are you even listening to me?"

The other man looked slightly bewildered, at both comments, and finally replied, somewhat wearily, "I don't really know", but corrected himself, seeing Lenny's increasingly worried expression and said, "Okay, okay, I do listen to you! But how about we just cut to the cake and talk about the obvious elephant in the room ... ?"

"Good idea, Carl", Lenny called, relieved, "I do not understand how Smithers could even be slightly attracted to-" he paused, suddenly not able anymore, to find the right words, so he started anew, "Y'know, Smithers and Moe ... It just doesn't seem all too probable"

Carl nodded knowingly, "We have never seen Smithers with any other man than Mister Burns - how is it that he just gave up like this?"

"Well - as I said, he was fired", Lenny pointed out, "That said, I wonder ... Did he say how exactly he got fired?"

"No", came the short reply, "I think Smithers probably had already planned out to tell Burns the truth, and before he did it, he may have cleverly created a plan B together with Moe"

"Do you think so?", Lenny sounded uncertain, "Smithers was a jerk sometimes, admittedly, at least according to Homer, but I don't think he would date Moe just out of ... just so that he could, well ... "

"Come on", Carl interrupted impatiently, albeit a bit reluctantly, "We both know that any relationship that Moe was ever engaged in, was purely based on pity - No one would ever take him for another reason, or at least, would call attention to him for another reason. Moe is without a doubt, the one we should congratulate. The only one I pity is Smithers, for his poor choice, but at least they seemed to be happy"

Lenny's eyes suddenly lit up again, "Yes, you see, that's what I was getting at!"

"Explain to me, at what exactly you where getting at, Lenny?"

"Well, Barney didn't seem happy about it at all"

"And what are you getting at now?"

Lenny roamed the house walls they were passing, as he absent-mindedly looked for the right answer .

"I think Barney has got reasons to drink more again lately", Lenny began hesitantly, "I think he has become slightly clingy to Moe "

Carl stayed silent for a while, and seemed to have to repeat the words a few times in his thoughts, before he finally sighed.

"That would be really awful for Barney, I guess ... But honestly - I don't think that we should jump to conclusions like that, just because Moe has turned out to be bisexual. Barney may have problems with his old girlfriend again or he just likes booze and that's all"

Then something typical for Carl happened. He no longer looked Lenny in the eye. He tightened the buttons on his jacket and quickened his pace .

"I think I'm going to call it a night. See you tomorrow at work, Lenny!", he mumbled incomprehensible and hasty, and finally disappeared around the next house's corner from Lenny's view, before he could even say goodbye.

For a while Lenny wandered alone through the streets and even considered to stop at Moe's again. But there he would most likely only come across Smithers and Moe and their completely perfect relationship.

And slowly it became clearer and clearer to him, that he just didn't have the desire to crash in on the company of such a match made in heaven, and would probably never get this kind of desire, if he wouldn't finally follow Smithers ' example and grow a spine.

Because the friendship between him and Carl was perhaps even more important than the possible romance that he hoped could be buried underneath them.