Chapter 10: As the World Turns

"Father!" Jon's voice rang out in the courtyard.

It felt very strange still to Benjen being called a father, when by right he should be called an uncle.

"Uncle Benjen," called out Robb. "Where is Ser Onion Knight? Can he come and play with us?"

The name brought a smile to Benjen's lips. Ser Davos was a great favorite with the two boys, and perhaps, missing his own sons, Davos himself was more than generous with his time with Robb and Jon. But the onion knight was not at Winterfell, having ridden alongside Stannis seven days ago to deal with Balon Greyjoy and his rebellion.

"Let me come with you," Benjen had asked, when Stannis was preparing to leave.

The refusal was swift and uncompromising. "You must stay here to guard Winterfell," Stannis declared.

"Ser Rodrik is here to protect Winterfell," Benjen pointed out. Stannis had made Rodrik Cassel the castellan of Winterfell in his absence.

"Ser Rodrik is not a Stark."

It rankled, truth be told, being left behind like he was a callow boy while the men rode off to war. Benjen was a man of twenty now, not the boy of fourteen that he had been when Ned called his banners and rode south to fight the Mad King. If it was Ned, or even Brandon standing in front of him now, giving the order for him to stay behind, Benjen would have felt more comfortable making his objections clearer and louder, but with Stannis, Benjen had learned to guard his tongue, careful never to be seen overtly defying or even questioning Stannis' command. As Benjen grew into a man, the whispers grew louder among some in the North that it should have been the last living son of Rickard Stark being made Lord Protector of the North until Robb Stark came of age, not some southern lord who just happened to be the king's brother.

"Stannis should have let me join the Night's Watch," Benjen commiserated with Maester Luwin more than once.

"You know his reasons for refusing," Luwin said, "and those reasons strike me as very reasonable."

"In his place, Maester, would you rather not have a pesky rival dispatched far, far away to the Wall, where he could not do any damage?" Benjen asked.

Maester Luwin regarded Benjen steadily. "Are you setting yourself up as a rival to Lord Stannis?"

"Of course not!" Benjen exclaimed, frustrated. "But Stannis might think that I am."

"Has he given you any cause to believe that he suspects you of trying to usurp his position?"

Benjen considered the question. Stannis was not an easy man to know, much less to get close to, true, but his behavior towards Benjen had never been anything less than correct. He had made full use of Benjen's knowledge of the North. Stannis had even trusted Benjen enough to send him to resolve some trouble or dispute between neighboring lords or knights, usually in the company of Davos Seaworth. Benjen had grown very fond of the onion knight, a warm, companionable man whose former life as a smuggler seemed utterly fascinating and improbable at the same time.

In truth, there was nothing Benjen could point to in Stannis' conduct that would confirm his worst fear – that Stannis would grow to actively resent Benjen's presence at Winterfell, would become suspicious of Benjen's intention.

Still, when Stannis commanded Benjen to stay at Winterfell while he rode off to deal with Balon Greyjoy, Benjen could not help wondering if Stannis did suspect him of something after all. Or if perhaps, resenting the clamors for Benjen to be made Lord Protector of the North, Stannis decided that Benjen must be kept away from any possibility of victory and glory.

Oh it was such an unworthy thought for him to have, Benjen chastised himself, and yet, part of him still wondered. He told no one about these thoughts, not even Maester Luwin.

The day Stannis was due to depart from Winterfell, Benjen was summoned to see him in the early hours of the morning. "Lord Stannis is in Lord Robb's room, my lord," Stannis' squire told him, when Benjen made his way to the solar. Robb and Jon shared a bedchamber, for now at least. Benjen supposed they would have to be separated once Robb was old enough to really understand his position as Lord of Winterfell.

The boys were still asleep, safe and snug under the blanket. Stannis stood silent and unmoving at the foot of the bed. He did not turn to look at Benjen when he heard the footsteps entering the room. "You must stay at Winterfell," Stannis said, his voice barely audible.

"I understand," Benjen replied. Benjen begrudged the reminder a little bit, truth be told. Stannis had already made his wishes clear on the matter, and Benjen had no intention of defying him.

Stannis turned to face Benjen. "Do you, truly?"

Benjen said nothing.

"I was angry when Robert told me to stay at Storm's End," Stannis continued. "He's punishing me, I thought, and I resented that. Punishing me because I dared to argue with him about our duty and loyalty to the king. 'You would choose a mad king over your own brother?' Robert raged at the time."

It would never have occurred to Benjen to argue with Ned about their duty or loyalty to the king when Ned came home to call the banners. Then again, Stannis had not lost any family members to the Mad King's brutality. "But you did choose your brother after all," Benjen said, a statement that was almost a question.

"I chose Robert, yes, my flesh and blood. But it was not an easy decision," Stannis said.

Benjen suppressed a gasp, but Stannis must have heard it anyway. "You think me callous and unfeeling?"

"It's not for me to judge," Benjen replied, averting Stannis' gaze. "Was it really a punishment, commanding you to stay at Storm's End while they went to fight the Mad King?"

Is it a punishment, commanding me to stay at Winterfell now?

Stannis shook his head. "Robert had the right of it, at least that time. He's punished me unjustly for other things since, but that time, Robert was right. Tyrell and Redwyne forces started besieging us soon after Robert left. Storm's End would have fallen if I had followed Robert to war."

"Balon Greyjoy is not going to send anyone to attack Winterfell," Benjen said. "He will be more than preoccupied defending the Iron Islands, defending his own turf."

"No one knows that for certain," Stannis snapped. "Who could tell what a man reckless enough to declare himself King would dare to do? I can't risk it. We can't risk it." He paused. "This is not a punishment, Benjen."

"I never thought –" Benjen started.

"Don't lie," Stannis interrupted. "You don't have the face for it."

How could Stannis have known, or even suspected, when Benjen had told no one, no one at all?

"How can I blame you, when I once thought the same?" Stannis continued. "They don't sing songs of glory for the ones who stayed behind, but it does not make the task any easier, or any less worthy. It's not just a castle you're protecting, or its lord, but the people, a way of life."

The boys were stirring. "Father," Jon called out sleepily, eyes at half-mast, holding out his arms towards Benjen.

"Father," Robb echoed, looking at Stannis. Ordinarily, Stannis would be adamant about correcting the boy – "Uncle Stannis. Your father is Eddard Stark, who was the Lord of Winterfell before you, and you must always remember that"- but this time, the morning of his departure, Stannis said nothing to correct Robb.

"Are you leaving now?" Robb asked, trying to sound brave.

"Soon," Stannis replied.

"Uncle Benjen will stay here?"

"Yes, he will."

"I will pray for you in the godswood every day, and remind Mother to lit candles in the sept every night," Robb promised, with all the earnestness of a five-year-old.

Benjen watched as Stannis struggled to erase the look of distaste on his face. Any mention of god, the old ones or the new, was sure to annoy him, but Stannis knew well enough that the Lord of Winterfell must be raised believing in the old god like the people he would be ruling. "Thank you," Stannis said, stiff and formal. But his expression softened when Robb solemnly proclaimed, "And I'm going to look after Sansa and Shireen."

After a few years of marriage, and endless speculations about the state of their marriage, Stannis and Catelyn were finally blessed with children. Two daughters in two years, in fact, and Catelyn was now heavy with child again. "Let it be another daughter," Benjen knew some northern lords were praying in the godswood at this very moment. Sons, and therefore half-brothers to Robb Stark could prove a threat to their own position, should Robb decide to reward his half-brothers with land and titles once he was old enough to rule Winterfell on his own. Sons could prove to be a danger to Robb himself, should Stannis began to harbor unseemly ambition about his own sons, his blood instead of Ned Stark's. Daughters would leave home once they were married, and thus was seen as less of a threat. Granted, there were some who would prefer it if Stannis and Catelyn had no children at all.

The only time Benjen had seen Stannis lighting candles in the sept that Ned had built for Catelyn had been the time Shireen was deathly ill with greyscale soon after she was born. Even then, Stannis' demeanor had not seemed like a father praying for the life of his child, but like a man forced to make a deal with the gods he despised. Whatever the deal was, it must not have included Stannis continuing to worship the Seven, for Benjen never saw Stannis in the sept again after that.

"I'm going to say goodbye to the girls," Stannis said, making to leave the boys' room.

"Can I come with you?" Robb asked, already on his feet.

"Why? You're not going anywhere," Stannis replied, but when he saw the crestfallen look on Robb's face, he gruffly said, "Come on, then. We don't have all day."

Robb smiled and bounded over to Stannis' side, and they walked side by side into the nursery. From the open door, Benjen could hear Catelyn's voice soothing a crying Shireen while Stannis said something to their elder daughter Sansa as if he was speaking to a fully-grown person (as was his wont when talking to children, for Stannis didn't seem to consider children a species apart from adults).

And suddenly, Benjen was struck by a sharp, piercing pain deep in his heart, thinking about Ned.

Oh Ned!

"Father?"

His son was calling out for him, his son who was not really his but was actually Ned's, and thus was very, very precious to Benjen. He embraced Jon, and the two of them sat silently for a little while, before Benjen finally took Jon to join the others in the nursery, and it started to seem like a morning just like any other morning.

Almost.