Damn. Damn.

Damn!

If she had used any other argument he could have held out.

If you can honestly say you have never let a flirtation get out of hand since we married.

Had any other words spilled from her mouth.

If you have never given a woman the wrong impression

He could have maintained his anger. His righteous anger more to the point. Simon Bricker had been in his wife's room, in the middle of the night, believing him to be gone till morning … and damn it he was angry about it.

Angry at Bricker.

Angry at her.

Angry at himself.

His anger at Bricker had been manifest in his violent backhand and their rather ill advised, but bloody satisfying scuffle in Cora's room. What Edith must think still boggled his mind … although if he stood back from it all enough her face must have been mildly amusing.

His anger at Cora had held him together over the last few days … and the blasted long nights. She had allowed this to happen. Both she and Bricker both declared that she had not invited him into her room … Brickers word on the subject could go hang … but Cora's – well that one had him torn. She had never lied to him. Except that thing with the dead Turk, which was more an omission than an outright lie. After 34 years he knew her well enough to know she did not lie … hated to in fact … was terrible when she tried. Unbidden came the memory of her face trying to hide the plans for his 30th birthday over 20 years ago now. She had squirmed, and squinted, and looked everywhere but his face … eventually making him stop his questioning and pretend the surprise had not in fact been given away by his well meaning, hopelessly honest wife.

Pulling back the covers with a loud huff Robert stood and reached for his dressing gown.

Then by all means, stay away.

If she had said anything else to him he could have stayed angry … anything but appealing to his conscience, which unknown to her was not clear.

Otherwise …

God he hated himself for that. His otherwise …Jane.

Jane … how stupid had he been! To kiss another woman … and more to the point a maid. How he had managed to let that flirtation occur he could no longer fathom. He loved his wife, had always loved her and that brief … thing … with Jane meant nothing to him, the only purpose it served was to pierce the guilt in his own heart.

He found his slippers and tied his dressing gown as he made his way to their connecting door. Placing his hand on the doorknob he paused for a moment and took a steadying breath.

This was it.

This was the moment he had to let go his anger towards Cora and take a long look at himself.

He let out a loud huff before opening the door and walking slowly through.

She sat in her bed. Their bed.

Her hair braided and resting over her shoulder, her back propped up by pillows. He had expected she would be reading a book as was her habit at night … but she was not. She was looking at the door … she had been waiting for him. The thought caused him to suck in a breath.

I expect you back in my room tonight.

She had known … maybe not about Jane … but she knew he was not as pure as he should have been … not perfect.

"You knew I would come?" he asked softly finally taking a step inside her room, pulling the door closed behind him with a soft thud.

She smiled a rueful smile and tilted her head to the side a little, "I have never thought my husband to be a perfect man … we all make mistakes sometimes Robert."

He looked down at his feet and then back to where she sat, then down again.

God this was awkward. He hated awkwardness. Doubly so that it was with her.

Removing his dressing gown and slippers he walked to his side of the bed and reached for the covers.

"We need to talk about this Robert." Her voice was steady, yet he could hear the concern layered in it.

He let out a frustrated sigh and stepped back from the bed … "God Cora … why?"

Her mouth formed a stern line and she leaned forward in bed, "Because I don't want to live the rest of my life not talking about it."

"Can we not just let it go … I want to forget this ever happened..." he ran both hands through his hair and linked them behind his neck for a moment before he turned around and leaned 1 hand against the wall. This had been a mistake … he was still too damned angry for this.

He heard the rustle of blankets, the soft pads of footsteps on floor, the prickle of her nearness up his spine followed by the gentle touch of her hand to his shoulder. His head hung down and his palm to the wall steadied him. He concentrated on breathing.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

"Robert" her voice sounded almost musical, the way he had always loved his name spoken, from her lips, in her accent. She rubbed her hand across his shoulder and bought it to rest on his bicep giving it a small squeeze. "You know that I love you … don't you?"

He could not speak. He did not trust himself. Not yet. He simply nodded.

"I didn …" she began … then stopped. He could not tell if she was crying, or just frustrated. She stood still a moment before he felt her dip under his arm and bring herself between him and the wall, bending to find his face and make eye contact. He leaned his palm into the wall harder and felt the pattern of the wallpaper against his skin.

Damn!

She was going to force this.

"Robert …" she began finally catching his eyes with hers, she brought her palm up to cup his cheek and Robert closed his eyes. "I did not invite Simon Bricker into our room. I did not invite him. I did not want to invite him. I did not and I do not think of him, nor anyone else that way … the only man I have ever …would ever be with is standing right in front of me right now, driving me crazy."

Robert snapped his head up and opened his eyes staring straight into her brilliant blue eyes. "I'm driving you crazy?!" his voice was louder than he had intended and he made a mental note to lower his voice … if Edith came back again to check on them he didn't think he could cope.

"Yes, you stubborn frustrating man!" Cora took her hand from his cheek and placed it on his shoulder, bringing her other hand to mirror the first before bringing both palms to rest gently against either side of his neck. "I made a mistake … a stupid mistake in believing I had a friendship with a man who, as it turns out wanted more. He wanted more. Not me."

"I told you that, Cora … how many times did I tell you that?" His voice was lower than it had been, even and steady but still angry. He leaned up placing his other palm against the wall as well caging Cora between his arms.

"Plenty of times." She answered dutifully.

"Exactly … and you still continued with this flirtation … do you know how wild that made me? How mad you have driven me? I could see what that man wanted and I warned you and still … I don't understand how you could not see it?" He turned his head ready to move away from her, the anger and jealousy of the last few weeks bubbling to the surface. He almost didn't trust himself.

"I didn't plan it Robert." Now it was Cora's turn to sound angry , her voice was pitchy and strained, "I didn't plan it, I never wanted him the way I want you … heavens … not at all in a romantic way. But can you imagine how good it felt to be appreciated? To be desired? To have someone want my opinions and as it turns out … more."

Robert's head flipped back to hers and his ears were ringing, "You wanted him to make you feel those things? I am your husband … that is my place …"

"But you haven't done it. You have been telling me how angry Simon Bricker made you, how mad you were and yet you have done nothing about it except try to beat him to a pulp."

"Cora! God! I am mad with jealousy! Insanely jealous of your flirtations and then seeing him in here … with you … I … I wanted to kill him Cora … if I'd had a sword he would be dead right now I swear it." Robert took his hands from the wall and turned his head to move from her grasp, her fingers tightened on his neck and she urged his face back to hers.

"You - Robert Crawley – are all talk. You talk about your jealousy and you beat a man in my room but you do nothing else. I didn't go seeking Simon Brickers attentions, but maybe I liked it when they arrived … maybe I craved it … maybe I wanted to make you jealous so that I would know you want me still."

"That I want you still? How could you ever doubt that? I .."

"You haven't touched me in months." She blurted out the first thought in her head and dropped her hands from his face bringing them to cover her mouth. She hadn't meant to say it, she hadn't wanted to push her foolishness onto him but he had stood there acting so completely shocked at her behavior.

"I … you …" Robert stammered taking a step back as Cora took a step back herself, her back hitting the wall as she dropped her hands from her mouth to her sides.

"You haven't touched me … that way … in months Robert. You don't pay attention to my thoughts or opinions; you spend more time with Tom and Mary than you do with me … how else am I supposed to feel? Of course I feel passed over and unwanted."

Robert could not believe what he was hearing. Of course he wanted her. How could he not.

"Cora …" his voice was calmer, almost steady … but not quite. "Of course I want you; every man with eyes wants you …"

"Don't be ridiculous" she argued, the pink rising in her cheeks.

"If Simon Bricker isn't proof of that I don't know what is … I … I don't know what to say … it's – the last time we were together … as husband and wife I thought you didn't …" he cleared his throat trying for a little decorum, "that you didn't … "

"Didn't what?" Cora asked softly, her breath catching.

"Didn't enjoy yourself." There … he had said it and now he stood in front of her and now his soul was bare.

"Oh Robert" she gasped as she saw the pain welling in his eyes, she reached for him but he stood still.

"What kind of man can't please his wife?" he asked looking over her shoulder away from her.

"You do please me." She argued stepping towards him.

"What kind of man bores his wife in the bedroom … I thought you didn't want me to … and I couldn't stand to be rejected … so I just …didn't."

"Robert no!" she took the last step and placed her hands on the lapels of his pajama shirt. "I do enjoy being with you … it's different for women Robert, you know that, things don't always … the same as men … perhaps I was tired that day, or sick, or stupid, or … I don't know … but I love you and I want you and I have missed you so much."

Robert stood still in front of her and she tugged on his lapels. "I want you Robert. I want you to want me just as much as I do you … I was glad when you hit Simon Bricker … Glad that you were jealous and so very …" her voice trailed off as the memory stirred her blood and made her cheeks blaze.

"Very what?" Robert asked, raising a hand to gently brush her high cheek bone and cup her face.

Cora looked down suddenly embarrassed … "excited" she whispered.

"Excited?" he asked.

She nodded, feeling much closer to the timid 18 year old she had once been than the 52 year old woman she had become.

"When I hit him … it excited you?" Robert asked again.

Cora nodded slowly, bringing her eyes to meet his and registering that he was moving forwards, pushing her back as he went. Her back hit the wall with a soft thud as she voiced her answer once again. "Yes"

"And you want me … still?" he asked running his palm from her cheek down the gentle slope of her neck.

"Yes." She whispered … "Please."

"Cora" Robert said softly as he felt her shiver beneath his palm. His hand slid across the curve of her neck slipping under the collar of her nightgown, grazing her collar bone before rounding her shoulder and taking the nightgown with it laying her shoulder bare.

He felt her quiver and suck in a breath as his other hand came to her hip, bunching her nightgown with him as he went. With a sober reverence Robert leaned forward and placed his lips to her shoulder feeling her other hand thread into his hair as he did. He heard a sigh of pleasure escape her lips from the initial contact and he trailed his lips along her bared flesh –

collar bone, neck, jaw line, ear.

He paused and whispered warmly against her ear "I have always wanted you."

Her other hand moved to the back of her neck and helped guide his face to hers bringing their lips together in a slick, desperate kiss. Their lips molded to each others in a frenetic coupling of breath, and heat, and tongues. The softness and the warmth were enticing and delicious as they made an urgent rediscovery of their passions.

Roberts hand continued to gather her nightgown at her hip and he bought the other hand down to help as he bunched it up to her waist and ground his body against hers. Her hands released his face and moved to his pajama buttons, undoing them in a hap hazard manner, not willing to relinquish his mouth in order to look at what her hands were doing. Roberts one hand slid down her now bare leg lifting it up under the thigh and spreading her open enough to settle against her core with his body.

He felt her gasp against his tongue in eagerness and he heard a groan escape their joined lips as they continued their erotic dance.

His shirt now open Cora ran her fingernails down his chest and came to rest on his pants.

"Off" she murmured against his lips as she pulled on the cord and helped him as he wriggled and maneuvered out of his pants. He pulled her leg up in his hand again and moved his lips from hers to her neck where he licked and suckled as he ground against her body. He could hear her breaths raspy and quick, his own breath coming our heated with desire and need. When he decided he could take it no longer and he would have to bury himself inside her deep warmth he bought his lips back to hers as she spoke against them.

"Take me to bed Robert." She breathed against his lips, into his tongue as they explored each other.

"Too far." He moaned as he lifted her other leg up and held her against the wall, he felt her gasp and bring her hands around his neck as he eased into her and their collective sighs of pleasure filled the room.

He had taken her against a wall once before, at a hotel, on one of their earlier anniversaries. It had been fast and hot and wild and he had fond memories of that coupling. What he had forgotten about however, was the noise. The constant thumping of their bodies hitting the wall, the slapping of skin against skin and the rasping if his breath – the exertion of his excitement and his holding her body aloft made for an atmosphere of loud excitement. He knew they were too loud, could hear it with every thump as he pushed into his wife again and again and again … but he couldn't stop. She loved it. She was breathless and moaning in his arms and the sweat against her skin told him this was real, she was overheated and slick and gagging for him as he ground into her faster and faster and faster … until her heard a loud crash, and they both stopped to look at the broken lamp laying on the floor, pieces in disarray… the vibrations of their passions having toppled the new replacement at their feet.

Looking at the cause of the crash they paused for a moment, breathing hard, before their eyes found each other once more and they both drew their mouths into wide grins before Robert ground himself against his wife's core with deliberation, preparing to begin his frenzied thrusts once more. He placed his lips against Cora's neck as she tipped her head back, threading her fingers through his silver hair. Robert pulled back in order to begin his thrusting anew when a sound stopped him short …

The knock on the door was quiet but clear, followed by the unmistakable sound of Edith's voice, "Mama? Is everything aright?"

Robert stood frozen in place, his wife's legs wrapped around his waist, his arms holding them up, his body pressed flush against hers, his lips attached to her throat and her hands in his hair. Their breathing was ragged and fast, their faces flushed, sweaty and unmistakably aroused.

Cora leaned forward whispering in his ear … "The bed."

He nodded numbly as he released her legs gently to the floor and backed away, still hopelessly aroused.

Cora approached the door and called out cheerfully, "It's just that stupid lamp again darling … I really aught to find a better place to put it … I keep knocking it over."

"Are you sure everything is alright?" Edith asked anxiously on the other side of the door, "Perhaps I should …"

"Everything is fine darling … goodnight." Cora answered firmly before reaching out and turning the lock on the door.

Robert lay back on the bed, his breathing returning to normal, his body slowly calming. He still craved his release, he still wanted her with his whole body, but the interruption had given him doubts if they should continue.

Cora returned to the bed, pulling her nightgown off as she approached then climbing seductively on top of him, settling herself above his still throbbing shaft. Tossing her lust loosened hair from her flushed face and sliding slowly down to take him inside her she smiled wantonly …

"Now … where were we Lord Grantham?" she asked … and all Robert's doubts broke to pieces, like the lamp strewn across the floor.