Greetings Shadowhunters!

I CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW SORRY I AM FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER

I KNOW THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN A REALLY LONG TIME BUT MY SUMMER HAS BEEN REALLY HECTIC AND BUSY AND I HAVE HAD NO TIME TO UPDATE!

PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Wow another new chapter!

YAAAAAAYYYYY!

Alright, so here's your chapter.

PS: VERY IMPORTANT A/N AT THE BOTTOM! PLEASE READ IT!

*****ALSO VERY GRAPHIC SCENE COMING UP SO BE WARNED*****

Iris POV

As I stepped through the portal and felt the wind being knocked out of me, I tried to forget the deep black eyes that belonged to the man that ruined my life. He was alive. And he was watching me. I didn't know if I should tell mom and dad or not. I don't want them to worry about me more than they already do.

The walls of the library surround me when I land my chair inside the Institute, my home. No one's in the library, probably in the kitchen. Max and his friends are probably changing into their training gear. My stomach has that 'rock in my stomach' feeling again. I guess it's just me wishing that I could actually do something in the Shadowhunter world. I mean, I'm a Herondale, I'm expected to do great things. I guess I'll be that disappointment child and Max will be the great Hero, and Luke will probably do something better than me too.

As I near the kitchen I hear voices, voices that don't belong to my family members. Will's voice is the most prominent, flooding the hallways near the library. As I inch closer I make out all of the voices of Max's friends-Will, Jem, Gideon, Gabriel, Tommy, and Julian. Julian. They beat me here so that they could train with my dad.

I can't go in there-I'll be eaten alive by all of them, including my brother. I quickly whip out my phone from my backpack and call Luke-I couldn't call Anna or Maggie because they stayed after school to find some new throwing knives at Diana's Weapons Shop. Luke picks up on the fifth ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Luke, it's Iris, I need your help." I whisper.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt? Is something wrong?" Luke rushes out, sounding panicked.

"Calm down, I'm fine. Just come to the hallway by the library, I'm near the painting of the Battle of the Infernal Devices."

"Wait, why?" questions Luke.

I sigh, "Please just come, and I will explain everything."

"Fine, I'm on my way." Then the phone call is disconnected.

I waited patiently for Luke, thinking about how I was going to get Luke to distract Max and his goons for me. Luke finally shows up-jogging down the hall in tight, black gear. He's only 12, but probably a better Shadowhunter than I will ever be. He crouches down in front of me-blue green eyes scanning my face and filled with worry. When did Luke grow up so fast?

"What's wrong? You look fine, did something happen at school?" Luke blurts out.

"I'm fine, it's just…I need your help."

Luke looks befuddled for a second, but then asks, "Help with what?"

"Please can you just…distract Max and his friends for me, while I escape to my room?" I plead.

"Sure thing, Dad said that he was training all of them with me today." Luke says, "Can you believe that? I mean, training with Max and Tommy can already be bad enough, but now he has all of his stupid friends with him. Jem and Julian are okay I guess, but the others are complete jerks."

"Tell me about it." I mutter.

"What? Did something happen today?" Luke asks, concerned.

I look down at my thighs, too ashamed to look at him, even though Luke deserves to know. Luke and I have started to form a dislike of Max together, which has brought us closer as siblings. Max used to be my favorite, but then the incident in kindergarten happened and then he started to pull away and join in on the taunting. But Luke was there as the sweet and cool little brother.

"Ri-Ri?" Luke presses. I snap my head up at my nickname and look at him, knowing that I would have to tell him.

"I just had a bad day that's all."

"Mhmm that's all?" Luke says, as if he knows that Max ignored me the whole day and made the taunting and name calling only worse. His turquoise blue eyes bore into my emerald green eyes, waiting for an answer.

"Well, Max basically told me to not be around him at all. He doesn't want to be associated with me." I say.

Luke doesn't look surprised as he mutters, "Of course he did."

I look up at him. "Please, just distract all of his friends while I go to my room." I plead, "If they see me-even though we are in our own home-they'll eat me alive."

Luke just nods and smiles at me.

"Thank you."

"Anything for my big sis." He smiles.

And then he's gone. He's off helping me like a good brother would. I'm done with Max's shit. Why can't he just accept the fact that I am his sister and move on with his life? Oh wait he can't-his ego is on the line-it's so much more important than me.

Luke distracts the guys by showing them his new seraph blade-it's so sad that they are so easily distracted by something so simple. I guess there really is no difference between teenage boys and apes. I make my way past them, catching a wink from Luke and disappearing down the corridor to my room.

All of a sudden the door directly to my right opens up and bashes into the front of my wheelchair, sending me spinning a little.

"Oh my gosh." A voice says. "I am so sorry I didn't mean-"

The voice stops apologizing as soon as our eyes meet. My emerald green eyes stare daggers into the cool blue color of the eyes that belong to William Carstairs. Of course my luck wouldn't work at all. He was the one I really wanted to avoid. But of course Raziel wasn't on my side ever.

"Oh actually I did you a favor there." Will explains. "You do know that if anything else happens to you, you'll be admitted to the insane asylum part of The Basilias Hospital. I mean, that is where you have always belonged but it wasn't my decision." He says with a smirk

My eyes narrow more and I want nothing more than to wipe that stupid smirk off of his pale face. But it feels like there is more truth to the part about The Basilias. The hospital does have an insane asylum, but mostly for Shadowhunters that are trying to recover from PTSD or other diseases like that, there are hardly any cases for mental or physical disorders because of Clave law.

"Oh I see you've gone mute too, retreating into your own brain to try to get away from your life?" He smirks. "I bet you're one of those depressed razor cutters too aren't you?" He taunts.

My left hand goes to the inside of my right arm involuntarily, even though it's covered by my uniform blouse. Will smiles arrogantly, like he knew this all along, even though it's not true. I've had enough of this crap, all of it. I start to push myself away from him, down the hall and to the safety of my room.

"I'm not surprised, you can't even stand up for yourself!" He shouts. "I'll tell the Basilias to make up a room for you!"

I flinch a little at his words, but I got the message. I do need to stand up for myself, but right now I don't want to start trying.

But what Will said got to me. Do I belong in a mental ward? I've always been different and never have connected to anyone besides a couple of my friends, but I guess at times we all belong in a mental ward.

I slam the door shut, wanting nothing more than to run away, run away from it all. But of course I can't, it would be too hard to just pack up and leave. Although I want nothing more than to blend into the mundane world, maybe there I would be more accepted. But I know that I can't run away. What would my parents think? My friends? Luke? I even wonder what Max would think.

Voices echo throughout the halls of my home-probably Max and his friends training or goofing off. I open my backpack and begin to work on the little bit of homework I have. As I answer questions about different demons for Demonology Class, I realize I can't focus. The pages keep swirling around me and Will's words keep haunting me.

If anything else happens to you, you'll be admitted to the insane asylum part of The Basilias Hospital.

I bet you're one of those depressed razor cutters too aren't you?

Insane asylum.

Depressed Razor Cutters.

Razor Cutters.

Insane.

Depressed.

Cutters.

Cut.

I don't even realize that tears are being formed until they start to make little pools on my answer page. I hastily wipe away the tears, no weakness. The last thing I want to do is disappoint Dad, he and Mom are some of the only people that sort of understand. I drop my pencil and dig through my backpack and the hidden pockets in my chair. My hands close around the handle of one of my emergency daggers. I bring up the shiny hilt close to face studying it and the words that are carved into the hilt.

Maybe this isn't a good idea, I've heard too many stories where mundanes do this and go crazy. But the pain is so strong, I need to release it somehow. I quickly lock my door and move into the bathroom and lock that door as well. I lower the dagger onto my pale right arm. The freckles running up and down the length of my arm stick out so bright, like little beckons of light on a white canvas. My hands shake as I lower the tip onto my arm, logic and thought leaves my mind as I drag the tip across the width of my arm.

I bight my lip as pain explodes from my arm, but then I feel ecstasy. The pain leaves my arm as the blood pools in the cuts and runs into the sink. The bright red mixes with the clear liquid and then disappears down the drain. I make more cuts and feel that great emotion of release. There is no pain, there is no taunting or mean brothers or complicated boys or mental asylums. There is only the blood and release.

Once I'm done I quickly put a bunch of iratze runes on my arm and rinse out the blood from the sink. Once the runes fade form my arm only a couple scars remain on the pale skin. I unlock to door and sit down at my desk to finish my homework.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Once I'm done with all my homework I put it all back in my bag and zip the bag shut. I look at the clock in my room and realize that it's six thirty, I procrastinated a lot so the homework didn't take me that long. I make my way down to the kitchen and realize that they are still training, so I am on my own right now. As always. I leave a note for everyone telling them that I went to pick up some take out from Taki's. I grab a couple bills off of the kitchen counter and start to leave the Institute, making sure I have an emergency seraph blade with me.

I breathe in the smell of smoke and hot dogs when I exit the Institute. I have always preferred New York to Alicante. I feel like the mundane society is so much more accepting, even though they have had a couple bad things happen, at least they evolve and change. The Shadowhunter society hasn't changed since the beginning, they hate change. The old diner comes into view as I push myself down the streets of New York. I put a glamor rune on me so that I didn't have to worry about mundanes staring at me. The mouthwatering aroma of pancakes hits my nose as soon as I open the squeaky door.

Kaelie, standing at the hostess station, greets me.

"Hello. Eating here or to go?"

"Um, to go please." I ask.

"Alright, what do you want?" Kaelie asks as she pulls out a notepad and pen.

"One small order of coconut pancakes and a banana crème milkshake please."

"Would you like that in a to go box?" Kaelie asks in a bored tone.

"Yes please."

"One minute" She says as she walks away to the back of the restaurant.

I wait patiently for my pancakes, but it gets me thinking. Where was everyone? Anna and Maggie should be home by now. Uncle Magnus, Uncle Alec, Aunt Izzy, and Uncle Simon are usually in the kitchen or somewhere in the Institute. And I bet my mom would have been in her studio, she usually plays music-piano music my dad composes-while she paints. I know my Dad is training Luke and Max and Max's friends. Where was everyone? I am awakened from my reverie when Kaelie hands me the box full of my food. In return I hand her some money and then I'm off.

As I make my way down the street I hear a rustling noise coming from this alley up ahead on my left. I peered into the alley from the corner of the street. Its dark, with a dumpster and multiple bags of trash scattered around. The alley comes to a dead end a couple feet from the dumpster. The rustling sound comes from around the other side of the dumpster. I inched closer and closer, raising my seraph blade.

All of a sudden two giant hellhounds jump up from the inside of the dumpster. Red eyes wild, barking, and snapping their massive jaws at me-wanting nothing more than to sink their teeth into my skin. I scoot back quickly, but not quick enough to save myself from being bitten by a hellhound. I scream out, but continue to try and stab the demons. But my lack of training and the demon poison starting to spread through my veins makes me weak. This is how I will go-killed by two hellhounds because I couldn't defend myself from a couple of demons. The world will be better without me anyways.

I close my eyes and lower my seraph blade, as I feel the hot breath of the hellhounds coming closer and closer. But they never reach me. I hear the sound of two feet running toward me and seconds later the sound of the seraph blade entering the body of one of the hellhounds. A strangled cry comes from the demon as it enters its home dimension. Soon the other hellhound is returned to its dimension along with its friend.

"Iris. Iris can you hear me?" A voice says, probably the one that saved me. I feel a warmth start to spread through my cheek as I try to gain consciousness. My eyes peel open to find themselves staring at ocean blue eyes. Julian's eyes.

"Iris, Iris are you okay?" He says, scanning my body for injuries. With much effort, I point to my stomach where red poison is dripping out of an open wound. His eyes widen in surprise and he immediately pulls out his phone.

"It's going to be okay, you're going to be okay." He mutters more to himself then to me. "It's not that bad, just a little poison. I'm just going to call Max and help will be here soon."

He keeps talking to himself as he unlocks his phone and tries to find Max in his contacts. But, out of the corner of my eye I see something white, moving. Then the white blob stands up, revealing Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern. I try to get Julian's attention by tapping him on the shoulder, but he doesn't get the hint.

"Julian." I whisper, an edge to my voice. He finally looks up at me as Jonathan raises his stele. Julian meets my eyes and sees where my gaze is pointed at. He turns around and starts to stand up and raises his seraph blade, but it is too late. As quick as a whip, Jonathan draws a rune on Julian's arm that I recognize immediately. A temporary paralysis rune.

Julian's body immediately freezes in place, he can't hear anything or think, but his heart is still beating. My eyes widen in fear, I am frozen with fear and I don't know what to do. Sebastian just smiles that makes me feel like spiders are crawling all over my body.

"I'm sorry about your friend there, and the hellhounds." Sebastian says, "I'm afraid I needed them to lure you here."

I finally find my voice, "Lure, so that you can put on the final rune and complete your evil plan or whatever the hell you want to do with me?" I ask.

Sebastian chuckles, more to himself and shakes his head. "Here let me help you with that." He says gesturing to the wound on my stomach, oozing red poison. He pulls out his stele and comes towards me, I'm guessing to finish me off. I back up as best as I can, but he's quicker, drawing a rune on my stomach that I'm unfamiliar with. And suddenly the poison is gone, and I don't feel like I'm going to slip into unconsciousness. I still glare at him, even though he healed me.

"I can understand your animosity towards me for that-I dearly apologize for that-but that's not why I am here."

I narrow my eyes, trying to look as intimidating as I can. I know that he's lying, my parents have told me what he's like. He's cunning and manipulative, plus he killed my uncle Max. I know what he is capable of and I know that he's not sorry.

"I know you don't trust me, after I basically ruined your life." He says gesturing to my wheelchair.

"What gave you that assumption, the fact that you paralyzed me, you've killed my uncle, you've tried to get both my parents onto your side, and you're half demon?" I quip with venom in my voice.

"Yes I admit, the whole 'harnessing your energy by those runes' wasn't the best idea." He admits.

"No shit." I snap.

"Whoa, no need to get snippy." He says while raising his hands in defense. "I just need you to know that I understand."

"What are you talking about?" I ask, confused. What would he understand about what I've gone through?

"I mean, that I wasn't the most accepted person either." Sebastian says.

"You only had one person in your life-Valentine-he wasn't the most accepting person in the world." I point out.

"You're…Grandfather…" I flinch at that word knowing that Valentine would never be my Grandfather. "Wasn't an accepting person at all, but by watching you, I can tell that no kids or adults in the Shadowhunter world besides your family has accepted you for who you are."

"That's true, but you have no heart, you don't know what it's like, people constantly telling you that you should kill yourself and that you belong in a mental asylum." I say shaking my head, "They have no mercy, they don't understand that I am a person too." I admit.

"That's exactly how I feel. Even your family has told me that I shouldn't have been born. Your Grandmother Jocelyn, regrets not killing me when I was a child. Your mother has never admitted that I am her brother, and your father just plain out wants to kill me." Jonathan says with a chuckle.

"But my family doesn't hate me." I say. "I didn't do anything to them to make them hate me."

"Ah, but what about that awful twin brother of yours?" He points out.

My blood runs cold, he's right. My brother does hate me, just like my mother hates him. Maybe we aren't so different.

"You see, we aren't different at all."

"Yeah, I guess we aren't." I admit. "And you haven't tried to kill me yet, thanks for that."

Sebastian grins a little bit and chuckles. "You're welcome."

Silence engulfs the air, and I realize that our conversation is over.

"Can you unfreeze my brother's friend for me please?" I quietly ask.

"Oh, yeah sure, I just forgot about that." He says as he pulls out his stele.

"Wait, one more thing." Sebastian says as he pulls out a necklace. It's a silver circular locket with a key engraved in the center. He places it in my hands carefully, as if I would throw I would throw it right back at him, but my hands close around the locket.

"It's a special necklace, if you ever need to talk to someone, someone who understands, open the locket and I will come." Says Sebastian.

"You do realize how creepy that sounds." I say jokingly.

"Yeah, but I know you feel really alone and I'm alone like all the time, so it would be good to talk to someone who understands." He says.

"Bye Jonathan, and thank you, you've really helped." I honestly say. And it's true, he feels the same way and people treat him the same-it's good to talk to someone who understands.

"Goodbye Iris." He says as he puts a slash through the rune on Julian's arm. And with a twist of his ring he is gone.

Julian's knees buckle on him and he falls to the ground.

"Julian!" I shout as I rush over to him.

I bend down as easily as I can and put his face between my hands. His eyes groggily open and lock on mine.

"Iris?" he says sleepily.

"Yeah." I say, "You're okay. I'm here."

He immediately starts to get up and looks alert.

"Sebastian, where is he?" He exclaims, pulling out his seraph blade and wielding it.

"It's okay, he's gone now." I explain.

"But you had demon poison, you were losing consciousness, you…"

"I'm alright," I cut him off, "I healed myself I'm alright." I assure him.

"Well, let's get you to the Institute." He says as he starts to push me home.

"Hey Julian."

"What is it Iris?" he questions.

"Thanks for saving me."

"Anytime." He says with that adorable smile stretching across his face.

****OKAY IMPORTANT A/N PLEASE READ******

I REALLY WANT SOME MORE IMPUT ON MY STORY

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PLEASE REVIEW AND GIVE ME POINTERS

FLAMES ALLOWED

THANKS PEOPLE

~Emmy