A/N: I was inspired by sn0w0wl to replay Origins and recruit Loghain thanks to her fic Solace Amidst the Chaos. As I took Loghain to Ostagar, I wondered what the interactions would've been like if he and Alistair both had gone to face their past. What was going to be a one-shot, I decided to break it up into a few small chapters. Hope you enjoy this AU telling of the DLC Return to Ostagar (to include spoilers, obviously).

"Forgive me for saying so, my dear Warden," Zevran began, "but I do believe you've gone completely mad."

Elyse Cousland nodded, a little too much as Zevran scolded her for moving while he was braiding her hair. She leaned into him, allowing her back to rest on his chest, and his hands left her dark locks to settle over her shoulders. "Mad indeed," she agreed with a sigh. "But someone has to make the tough decisions, and it seems everyone has been satisfied with me doing so."

"This is not a decision you needed to make," he reminded her. "Is it not enough that they have yet to kill each other?"

"They need to forgive each other," Elyse whispered. "Neither one of them can move on from this unless they confront it head on, together."

Now it was Zevran's turn to sigh. "You are too kind for your own good," he said, lowering his head to nuzzle her ear. "Part of the reason why I adore you. Still, they are more likely to kill each other than come to any understanding. You are a fool to think otherwise."

Elyse turned her head to meet his lips with hers, enjoying the quiet moment before she announced her intentions. "I must be, I'm with you aren't I?"

Zevran pulled back, mocking a wounded expression. "Bested again," he said with a frown. "I know, you are only using me for my body."

"And your skills in its use," Elyse said, crawling on her knees toward him for another kiss.

Zevran willingly caved to her advance, but then reluctantly pulled away. "We mustn't start something we can not finish," he said. "They are waiting."

"I know." For the hundredth time that day, Elyse wondered if she was doing the right thing. The next few minutes would at least tell her how the others felt about her decision, and she quietly braced herself for their reactions.

.*~*~*.

"Absolutely not!" Alistair protested, glaring at Elyse. "You can not do this, you can not ask this of me. Not after everything that man has done!" he said, pointing at Loghain.

"What I have done is what I have always done," Loghain stated. "Whatever was necessary for the good of Ferelden."

Alistair continued to shake his head. "No, there is no way. Against everything I believed in, I remained with you after you allowed him to join the Wardens. But this, this is too much."

"Alistair…" Elyse tried, but he wasn't listening.

"He killed Cailan. Duncan! And you ask that I return to Ostagar with him?" Alistair began to pace, fuming in his own anger. "So he can what, point out yet again all the reasons why their deaths meant nothing, because it was 'for the good of Ferelden?'" he asked in a mocking tone.

Elyse was surprised, and thankful, that Loghain stood his ground against yet another round of these accusations from Alistair, and remained silent while the soon-to-be king lashed out at him. "Elric insisted we retrieve those documents from the King's chest," she reminded him. "We have to go back."

"We don't have to do anything," Alistair said. "Take your new recruit and your assassin, and leave me out of it."

"If the boy does not wish to go, then so be it," Loghain said, breaking his silence. "We'll probably be better off without his tantrums while facing the darkspawn anyhow."

Alistair marched up to Loghain, coming within inches of the Hero of River Dane. "You know nothing about darkspawn," he spat. "You ran, remember? Tucked tail and left the rest of us to fight for our lives! Then you continued to hound us, sent assassins after us, never giving us a moment of peace. So yes, I am having a tantrum, from the months of torment you put us through!"

"Your fellow Warden doesn't seem to mind the assassin I sent," Loghain pointed out. "And don't pretend to care at all for Cailan, the brother who had everything you did not. We both know you aren't mourning his loss nearly as much as you claim. You'll soon have his title, and his wife. Rather convenient, his death was for you, from where I'm standing."

Elyse moved to intervene, seeing Alistair's fist clench in preparation for a swing. Pushing him slightly out of the way so she could stand between them, she tried to justify her decision. "You need to go to face your grief," Elyse said to Alistair, jabbing her finger into his chest. "You say you've moved on from it, but clearly you have not. And you," she turned to Loghain, "have more guilt inside you than I do for leaving my family behind. You can keep claiming it was for the good of Ferelden, but I know in your heart you regret leaving Maric's son to die. So let's all calm down and stop repeating the same stupid arguments of a history we can not change."

"I have forgiven you for making me king, and forcing me to marry Anora, that bastard's daughter," Alistair whispered. "I have even forgiven you for allowing him to go through the Joining. But I can not forgive you if you make me do this. I can't do it. I won't do it."

She opened her mouth to reply, but Alistair had already turned his back on her and was walking away. "Let him go," Loghain muttered behind her. "He's clearly not ready to face what you ask of him."

Elyse turned to look at Loghain. "Are you? Willing to face the consequences of your actions?"

Loghain rubbed his stubbled chin, as if feeling the intended blow from Alistair. "I believe whatever Cailan may have stashed in that chest is important enough to return for," he said, "especially if it has to do with the Orlesians. As for witnessing what remains of Ostagar after my men and I retreated, I assure you Warden, I face it every night in my dreams."

"Good," she said with a shrug. "Then you won't mind facing it once more. We leave tomorrow, and Alistair will be joining us."