That feel when you update a fic after 2 years have gone by...hadn't thought about it for a long time and a friend brought up writing a fic. I decided to check it and couldn't help myself...I might have some inconsistencies or facts totally wrong due to literally just not remembering but I hope it will be a pleasant surprise to you. Enjoy! :^)

Eren was pleased to stomach a few bites of the applesauce that was delivered with his meal. He could hardly look at anything else without the familiar feeling of nausea tickling at his throat and suspected it was because he was never fed (or force-fed) anything sweet during his time in the dungeon. The taste was surprisingly pleasant and almost helped him forget the taste of awkward air.

He was eating his dinner in captain Levi's quarters; he was also going to be sleeping in Levi's quarters, though, with only having caught sight of one double bed tucked away in the back of the room, Eren hoped Levi wouldn't feel forced to sleep on the floor. Maybe he'd get lucky enough to be offered the floor instead, it would still be a hell of a lot better than the cold dungeon floor and he wouldn't feel guilty for inconveniencing the captain.

After a pause, Eren couldn't help but hold back a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He had lived through what felt like an eternity of torture that would have killed any other human, that sometimes he had wished, in some of the darkest moments, would kill him so he wouldn't have to endure any longer. He had lived through that and now he finds himself pondering over how awkward it would be to sleep on captain Levi's bed. Thinking it over, he decided he didn't care if Levi made him sleep in the bed, the floor, or the bathtub. It didn't really matter.

"What the hell could you possibly find funny about applesauce?" Noticing Eren's smile, Levi was justified in asking, though Eren was entirely sure how to answer. "Um...sir, I was just wondering where you'd like me to sleep...It's been a long day..."

Levi regarded him for a pause, looked at Eren from head to toe in one slow sweep. Eren felt a small burn on his cheeks. "No shower before bed?" Oh. "Fine...you can have the bed, but expect to wash the linens in the morning. I think you can handle that much."

Eren felt a pull of guilt. "Yes, I can do that, thank you. But, sir, where will you sleep?"

Levi answered without a pause, his typical expression not giving away anything that he might (or might not) be feeling. "I have some reading to do. It will probably take me all night and don't worry yourself about that either. That's just how I function." Eren believed him; it wasn't hard to miss the dark circles that all too commonly found their place under the eyes of the captain. He couldn't help but assume that this sleepless night would be his fault somehow and, sleepily, resolved to accept this as fact and get some much needed sleep anyway. All he could do was show his appreciation and get to bed.

"Captain...all this...wasn't your fault. And...I'm glad you're helping, anyway."

With that, he lifted himself up and sluggishly made his way over to Levi's bed. To Eren's surprise, the bed wasn't anything especially lavish or all that much different from what he and the other soldiers slept on. The main difference was that Levi's was as wide as two soldier's beds-perks of being a captain, Eren assumed. He climbed under the thin covers and happily welcomed the pull of sleepiness that followed soon after. Before he could drift off completely, he thought he heard the captain call his name.

"Sir?" He managed to call out, barely.

Levi looked as though he was about to say something, but then, after a pause, made his way over to the bed and took a seat at the edge. He was facing away from Eren, even while sitting only inches away, eyes glued to the ground. He snuck over a tentative peak at the younger boy who looked to be fighting an inner battle between curiosity and sleep. Looking back down to the floor and after what felt like an eternity, he spoke.

"You said it wasn't my fault, and...I couldn't help but think about if I were you and whether I'd be thinking it were somehow my fault...this whole damn mess." He turned his body around and leaned slightly closer, his eyes now hard and met with Eren's. "The truth is that I wouldn't. I'd think that this Böse prick is worse than titan shit and I'd think about how high his odds of death are if he deserted. I'd probably play it out in my mind; imagine it over and over again, his death." He leaned back again and his eyes softened. "But you...you're different, actually a good person. Might not think the same way. So I wanted to tell you, make sure you know that it's not your fault either."

Eren had played around with that thought once or twice; all he could do not long ago when he wasn't being brutalized day in and day out was think. He hated to admit it, but ever since his mother died he noticed feeling more sensitive to thinking anything and everything was his fault. It made him angry more than anything, typically. Even so, hearing Levi's words came with more relief than Eren would have ever expected. He felt the sting of tears threatening and mustered up all he could to hold it together long enough to give a small,"Thank you."

Levi didn't say anything more so, embarrassed and vulnerable, Eren turned to the wall hoping for a drowsiness to wash over him yet again. It did come (and easily) but Eren found himself teetering the edge of sleep, wondering why Levi hadn't gotten up from the bed. He felt expectant, like something would happen, but soon even curiosity yielded for exhaustion and Eren finally fell asleep.

Unbeknownst to him, Levi would sit at his side for a few minutes more. He thought about Eren, what he must have gone through, how he had changed since his time in the dungeon and how he was also the same. He still wondered what the hell was so funny about the applesauce.

After some thought, he made his way over to his desk to start looking into some documents he had received earlier that day, delivered by request of Commander Irvin. Scanning them over, he was pleased that he could count on Irvin to have his back yet again. There were five or six scholarly write-ups by various authors on the symptoms of psychological trauma, treatment, and outcome expectations.

Levi resolved to spend the night as best he could, reading and learning how to at least start to help Eren. The survey corps couldn't afford to have luxuries like doctors that specialize in the mind, it was usually only the bodies of soldiers that they counted on to be healthy. Eren was a different story, however, being much less replaceable than any other soldier. There were plenty of practical reasons why they would want him to be as stable as possible on the field when his titan instincts encouraged otherwise. Plenty of practical reasons, and Levi couldn't help but admit that he also fucking hated the way Eren would flinch, look away, check out, gag at the sight of food..he chose to ignore thinking about why he felt so strongly about it. He was good at that. He was also good at putting his mind to a task and working without sleep, a talent that he indulged in until morning.