I know, Falcon's full name is Douglas Jay Falcon. I don't like the name "Douglas" so I had Olimar call him "Jay." And Falcon sometimes calls him Ollie
No, I don't know when his birthday is, and yes, I might post an alternate ending.

Okay so we've got part of a handjob, a blowjob, a rimjob, fingering, a fuck, and lots and lots of foreplay. If you're not aroused you shouldn't be here.

Happy Birthday, Olimar

Olimar sat at the table by his birthday cake, and blew the candles out. Nobody had shown up to the party except Captain Falcon.

Falcon clapped politely and started pulling candles out of the cake. Olimar helped him (but not before licking the frosting off the end) and when they were done, he sighed.

"What's the matter?" Falcon asked, moving to grab the knife.

"I really hoped the others would show up. I'm surprised, actually! Most of them are too nice to not show up. Heck, even Kirby would've came for some cake!"

Falcon shrugged.

"They all left you presents, isn't that enough?"

"No," he sulked.

Falcon rolled his eyes.

"Well damn, it's not like you needed a party anyway."

Olimar glared at him.

"That's not the point, and you know it."

Falcon waved him off.

"Whatever."

He took the piece of cake he'd just cut and slid it onto a paper plate.

"Hey, at least I came, right?"

"You have to come to these type of things, you're my boyfriend."

Falcon pushed the plate over to him and raised an eyebrow.

"So you'll come to mine?"

"Not if it turns out like this!"

Falcon grimaced and grabbed the piece of cake again, shoving it right in Olimar's face. Olimar coughed and spluttered, trying in vain to wipe chunks of chocolate off his face.

"What the hell, Falcon?!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the other replied, not sounding sorry at all. He leaned down and licked his cheek, earning a surprised look from Olimar.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. You wouldn't wanna waste all that perfectly good cake.." He licked some from the corner of his mouth. "..would you?"

Olimar pushed him away in a huff.

"So I'm guessing you told everyone not to come so you could get in my pants."

"That's exactly what I told them!"

"You told them that? Great, now I'm gonna have Peach and Zelda ask me a million questions tomorrow. 'How was it? How was it?' They don't leave me alone," he grumbled. Falcon laughed and licked his other cheek.

"Maybe they're jealous.."

"Yeah, of you."

Falcon pulled him out of his chair and onto his lap. He began rubbing his ass.

"Is that such a bad thing? You're cute–"

"–you tell me that all the time."

"And smart, and funny. And you're a fast motherfucker."

"I hope you don't mean–"

"–no of course not. But you've got a quick wit. And you're pretty great in bed~"

"You're not bad yourself," he groaned, pushing back on his hand. Falcon was teasing him. He did it a lot–it was the one thing he both loved and hated about him. He'd tease him all night if he had his way. Apparently he liked the frustration he'd get from Olimar. Olimar panted slightly as Falcon began to lick his chin, his mouth, even places where there was no cake. His hands moved up the inside of his thighs and back again a few times. That was usually a sign that he was about to give a good rub-down. Olimar loved it–Falcon was very good at that. One of the perks of their size difference was that Falcon's hands were very large to him. It made everything go a little quicker, even with Falcon's nonstop tortuous teasing. He moaned softly as Falcon began massaging his back. His lower back is where he liked it best, and Falcon avoided that spot for just that reason. After about ten minutes of hands on his neck, shoulders, back, ass, and thighs, Olimar was practically falling over himself to take his clothes off.

"Nuh-uh-uh. Take it off slowly."

Olimar rolled his eyes and tugged his shirt over his head.

"Why? Were you planning on stuffing money in my underwear?"

"Of course not," he answered, leaning forward to push his nose into the crook of his neck and inhale deeply. He ran his lips over his collarbone, down his chest, and stopped at a nipple.

"I'm just building up to the good part."

Olimar chuckled breathlessly as Falcon closed his lips on a nipple, using his hand to play with the other. Olimar leaned his head back and wrapped his arms around Falcon's neck.

"Ah.."

The feel of his hands and mouth was not new to him, but somehow he had a way of making every time feel like his first. He always had a trick or two up his sleeve.

As he continued, Olimar began running his fingers through his hair. He knew Falcon liked it, but the other stopped him.

"Don't...it's all about you right now."

Olimar smiled–for all his faults, Falcon was sweet–and just settled for resting his chin on his head.

"Jay?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we turn off the lights?"

"Yeah." He set Olimar on the table and flipped the light switch. When he came back, Olimar was unzipping his pants. Falcon took this as a cue to start undressing himself, and pulled his shirt off. Then he climbed up onto the table, pushing plastic cups and party hats onto the floor. Olimar giggled as he started to whisper sweet nothings in his ear, nibbling on the edges every once in a while. He slowly moved his hand down his stomach and ran his fingers over Olimar's growing erection. In an attempt to stay quiet, Olimar leaned forward and smashed their lips together aggressively. Falcon laughed as Olimar forced his tongue into his mouth, pulling him closer as Falcon began to stroke him.

"M-mm.."

"You like that?"

"D-don't try to talk dirty."

"You're the boss," he smirked, pecking him on the lips once before sliding down to lick his member. Olimar gasped, his face turning red. Slowly, Falcon began to suck him. Olimar reached down, this time twisting his fingers in his hair painfully.

"A-ah!"

Falcon let out a discomforted grunt, but didn't stop. He worked quickly, grazing teeth and swirling his tongue, all the while dragging his fingernails lightly across the inside of his thighs.

Sooner than he expected, Olimar came. Falcon swallowed before Olimar could protest. He hated it when he did that–he thought it was gross. Falcon grinned and licked his lips.

"I take back what I said about you not being quick."

Olimar shoved him.

"Why'd you do that? You know I don't like that..."

"What? Oh, when I swallow? Well, to be completely honest, it tastes good. For humans it normally wouldn't, but you..."

"Really? What does a human's taste like then?"

"It depends. Most people say its weird, some say it tastes bad, and some say it tastes good. But most people who like it are hookers."

Olimar laughed and laid back on the table.

"Do you want me to–"

"No. I told you, today is about you."

"But Jayyyyyyy you didn't fuck me."

"Is that what you want?"

Olimar sat up and looked him dead in the eye.

"Isn't that what I always want?"

"Haha, I guess I can't argue with that."

He leaned forward for another kiss, and was met with eager lips. Olimar was still drained from his orgasm moments before, but he hardly cared. Falcon took two fingers and stuck them in his own mouth, coating them with saliva. As he did this, Olimar reached for the other's pants. Falcon stopped him again.

"Just let me handle this, okay?"

Olimar gave him a look.

"But then how're you gonna–"

"Don't worry about that. Just lay back."

Olimar rolled his eyes and obeyed. Falcon pushed his legs apart, moving down, and at first, Olimar thought he was going to get another blow job. But he quickly realized there was something entirely different going on.

"W-what're you–"

"It's okay. This may seem a little weird but.."

He cut off. Better to just dive right into it, lest Olimar complain. He leaned down and began licking his entrance. Olimar gasped.

"J-Jay..what are you d-doing..?"

"Just relax, Ollie."

"This is w-weird.."

Falcon grinned but didn't answer. He traced his tongue around the edges and dipped inside a little. Olimar shuddered.

"S-stop..!"

Falcon pulled back.

"What?"

"I-I don't like that.."

Falcon was a little disappointed, but stopped. Instead, he took his fingers and slid one in. Olimar let out a deep breath.

"T-that's better."

He knew exactly where his sweet spot was, and brushed over it ever-so-lightly, making Olimar bite his lip.

"Shhhit..."

Falcon chuckled and added another finger, curling the digits inside him and pushing deeper. Olimar moaned and arched his back.

"Hahh...J-Jay..!"

Falcon continued, making Olimar cry out so loud he was sure he'd wake up the entire mansion. But it didn't matter. With a final moan, he came for the second time that night. He lay there, breathing hard.

"I thought...t-that was just...foreplay."

"Why? We're you expecting something else?"

"I..thought..you were gonna..fuck me..."

"I did."

"Not like that..you moron..!"

Falcon's head shot up in surprise.

"What?"

"I want you inside me..." he panted, trying to sit up. "How did you not get that?"

"I did say today was about you.."

"God dammit Jay, you know I want more than just that."

"Not anymore, you don't. You're tired."

"I think I could handle it."

Falcon's gaze softened.

"No, I don't think you could. Here, let's get some rest, and maybe we can do that tomorrow.."

Olimar yawned in response.

"Okay, I guess so."

Falcon picked him up and started to carry him down the hall, trying to ignore curious eyes peeking out from the doorways. Olimar cuddled against him and sighed contentedly, relaxing as Falcon pushed open the door. Without letting go of him, he laid down and pulled the blankets over them.