Disclaimer: I do not own PJO—if I did, Nico would've been female and Thalia a guy.

Warning: Gender-bending. Language. Violence.

Art of Deception

Chapter Six

Thor had no choice but to find someone he could possibly be in love with. He spent the rest of the next day relaxing at the beach, watching the girls even though all he want was to sleep in and snore away. He was used to waking early with the Hunt but now that he was temporarily relieved of his duties, he had been very sure of his strength, willpower and ambition to sleep like a useless piece of garbage for the rest of the day.

It was a cold winter day. Definitely suitable for sleeping. Too bad the campers didn't share the same sentiments. Except for the area surrounding the forest, there was no snow and the sun was shining as if it was summertime.

The son of Zeus yawned, stretching and kicking back.

He didn't want to look at the curvaceous body of the daughters of Aphrodite, too tan and peachy for his liking. The daughters of Athena were holed up in their cabin or in classes; daughters of Demeter and Dionysus and Hephaestus weren't that pretty. The daughters of Apollo were too bright for him, and the daughters of Hermes just weren't his type, he could just see them as little sisters or something.

Children of minor gods weren't his type, they were too—and he knew he was being arrogant—weak. Pity there were no daughters of Poseidon or Hades. Well, there was Nico but—

Totally out of the question, Grace, di Angelo will pulverize you if he-she knows.

In the end, Thor decided that daughters of the war deities were more of his type.

Not the Ares brats though, he despised all of them; but Athena's girls... now, they were a different story. But the only one he would ever be interested in was Annabeth and that was plain wrong.

Not that Annabeth wasn't pretty or anything—she was gorgeous—but he knew Percy liked her and vise versa, who was he to get in their way? He didn't want to be a third-party.

Thor had to wonder though, who Nico was in love with.

He knew Nico was—to put it eloquently—interested in the opposite gender (now in her new form). Who?

Thor knew Nico was on-off friends with the Stolls, had a few lessons with sons of Apollo (had even blushed before that Austin kid), had met Apollo himself and who-knows-who.

Thor considered himself last; he didn't think so, Nico acted like he was an annoying thorn in her side. Even when he was a girl, Nico barely gave him a glance but a glare of disdain at the reminder of her sister's death.

The son of Zeus was completely floored when he came to the last option: Percy Jackson, kickass son of Poseidon.

He groaned when the possibilities piled up against him: what had he done?

No wonder Nico was so distraught.

Someone tapped his shoulder. With a glare, Thor turned, his glare intensifying when he saw a familiar satyr. He nearly called out Grover's name but remembering who he was now in the last second, he cleared his throat and just arched a brow in askance.

"What?"

"Uh, Mr. D wants to kill yo—I mean, he wants to speak to you."

"Nice cover up, there," Thor muttered sarcastically before burying his face in his hands in complete mortification. "I'm dead."

PxN

"That complete and utter idiot," Nico snarled quietly to herself, storming to where Thalia's tree was. She glared down at the little hill, at the bright sky—which was a complete insult to her current condition—and then at her cousin's tree. Smoldering anger made her vision turn red, and when someone repeatedly tap on her shoulder, she nearly gutted him with her handy dagger.

Her anger cooled far too quickly for her liking when she saw a certain son of Poseidon.

"Oh," she said, wincing internally at how cold she sounded. "You."

Percy arched a brow. "Yes, me." Seeing her questioning look, he ditched the sarcasm in his next sentence and said, "I saw you storming down here, alone."

"And you have to follow me?" she sounded completely mystified.

"It's rare that you and that Thor guy are apart," Percy said, glancing at her sympathetically. "Got into a fight?"

"Something like that," Nico admitted. "He... just got us into more trouble."

"I'm cool with him," The son of Poseidon said, grinning. "He blasted those sons of Ares, good." Then his smile dropped. "He summoned electricity, something my friend Thalia, daughter of Zeus, could do. You know what that means?"

Nico refrained from rolling her eyes. "Yes: son of Zeus. Great, now he'd have an even more bigger head."

"You might be a child of the Big Three too," Percy said, sounding like he was serious. But before the daughter of Hades could answer, a streak of light blasted past them, blinding the demigods.

Instinctively, Percy's hand went to Riptide. When the light faded and his vision cleared, he saw a brown delivery truck. The driver was climbing out. He wore a brown uniform shirt and knee-length shorts along with stylish black socks and cleats. His curly salt-and-pepper hair stuck out around the edges of his brown cap. He looked like a guy in his mid-thirties, but Percy knew that this guy was in his mid-five-thousand.

"Lord Hermes?"

"You know him on first glance?" Percy shot his companion a curious look.

The girl's face hardened. "Don't ask." Easiest way to stop people from asking questions about you was to just demand it.

He looked upset. He kept patting his pockets and wringing his hands. Either he'd lost something important or he'd had too many espressos at the Mount Olympus Starbucks.

In the midst of it, he spotted the two demigods staring blankly at him and impatiently gestured them to go towards him.

"How do you greet a god?" The demigoddess asked suddenly.

"Uh, why are you asking me?"

"You're a senior camper, you should know more than a newbie like me."

The girl brought up a fair point. Percy himself didn't know whether demigods were supposed to shake hands, kneel, or bow and shout, We're not worthy!

The son of Poseidon settled for shrugging. "No idea. Just, uh, start simple... like this: Hi." The last part was directed at Hermes who was frowning at Nico in particular, his hands still patting his pocket. Hermes seemed to be ignoring him and focusing on the unclaimed demigoddess. "Is something wrong?"

"I know you can keep your mouth shut, Jackson, I'm just... considering her." Hermes's blue eyes lit up. "Wait, you're the cursed demigod Aphie had been babbling about all day!"

"Cursed?" Percy echoed incredulously, glancing in shock at the pale demigoddess. "Are you dying now or something?"

Hermes looked even more confused. "I though he told you."

"No!" Nick suddenly exploded, her face red. "T-this isn't permanent," she mumbled pathetically.

Percy was more than confused now. "What? Can someone tell me what's wrong?"

"No."

Hermes's eyes softened in sympathy. "I know how you feel, Cursed One. With how blind he is, you'll never be able to provide the entertainment Aphie seeks. Good luck though. Still, I'll be more than willing to help push things forward if you'd be willing to help me in return—"

"Anything," Nick agreed readily.

"Are you sure?" Percy asked, frowning and wondering why the other two were acting as if he didn't exist. "When a god asks a favor, it's never easy—"

"Why, Jackson, if I hadn't known any better," Hermes frowned at him. "I would've thought that was an insult."

"It's a compliment," The son of Poseidon muttered weakly.

Hermes beamed. "I know, right." Then the grin dropped to be replaced by a look of concern. He grabbed the demigods' arms and hauled them into the back of his truck. "Okay, here's the deal—"

"Where's your staff?" Nick asked, glancing about.

Hermes's face crumpled like he was about to cry. "You lost your staff?" Percy cried in disbelief. Did gods lose it left and right or something?

"No! It was stolen! I swear by the River Styx, if that ugly brute harm my snakes—"

"You know who did it?" Percy asked, blinking. "Then why do you need our help?"

Hermes shot him an odd look. "Now, you know gods can't go around busting heads or upturning cities to search for our lost items. New York will be completely destroyed if we lost our things as often as Aphie does, and believe me, she always—"

"Can we get back to the main topic?" Nick sounded irritated. Percy had to give her that one, she really got guts to interrupt Hermes like that. Perhaps she had no idea how bad a pissed-off immortal could be. But then again, she was already cursed—or so Hermes says—so she didn't think getting another curse would harm her.

Fortunately, Hermes didn't seem offended.

"Right. Where was I?"

"Ugly brute. Snakes. Somewhere in the city," Percy supplied without missing a beat.

"I checked the security cameras in the area. I talked with the wind nymphs. The thief was clearly Cacus," Hermes growled.

"Good old Cacus," Percy said. "I should probably know who that is -"

"Oh he's a giant," Hermes said dismissively. "A small giant, not one of the big ones."

"A small giant."

"Yes. Maybe ten feet high."

"Tiny," Nick agreed. When Hermes opened his mouth to say something, she quickly cut in. "Spare us the history. Let me give you the short version: he's a renown thief, stole Apollo's cattle once. He used to hide somewhere in Rome. Nowadays, he's in Manhattan. Underground somewhere, I'm sure."

"Uh-huh. And if Hermes went looking for his staff himself, it might be a bit embarrassing."

Hermes pursed his lips. "All right. Yes. The other gods would certainly take notice. Me, the god of thieves, being stolen from. And my caduceus, no less, symbol of my power! I'd be ridiculed for centuries. The idea is too horrible. I need this resolved quickly and quietly before I become the laughingstock of Olympus."

"So...you want us to find this giant, get back your caduceus, and return it to you. Quietly."

"Don't make it sound ridiculous," Nick said, snorting.

"By five, no later," Hermes said, beaming but then it turned serious. "It's no joke, demigods. It's my symbol of power and now that war's brewing, I would need it to fight. And do be mindful of the caduceus. The tip can turn people to stone. I had to do that once with this terrible tattletale named Battus...but I'm sure you'll be careful. And of course you'll keep this our little secret."

Percy swallowed the sawdust out of his mouth. "When we get it," Nick spoke. "where do you want us to meet?"

The son of Poseidon liked how she said when like they were definitely going to get the staff and get out alive.

"Rockefeller Center, you two know where that place is, right?"

The demigods nodded. "Uh, where's Cacus?"

Hermes's lips thinned; Percy figured that it was frustrating the god of messengers that he knew where the giant was and he himself couldn't go there to sort things out. "In Highline Park, in the Meatpacking district."

"This will be fun," Nick muttered sarcastically as they clambered out of Hermes's truck. Not a moment too soon, the truck disappeared in a streak of light. "Should I go get Thor...?"

She sounded reluctant. Deciding to spare her the pain of seeing her rotten boyfriend, Percy said, "Nah, we'll do fine on our own." Another reason was that Percy wasn't sure he could get along with a child of Zeus who was not Thalia. "Come on, let's go hail a cab."

PxN

Percy was mildly surprised the girl could be so stealthy but he refrained from asking. She could be a child of Hermes—though it seemed impossible with how the god interacted with her—or she had practice after years of living on the streets. The son of Poseidon didn't ask, he knew plenty of demigods had picked up useful skills from the streets. Usually, their background weren't pretty and were sore subjects for them.

Percy knew enough girls to know that he had to keep his mouth shut in case he got himself a severe beating.

"This was in the news," Nick muttered under her breath, blending well into the shadows. "There was a fire or something. I figure it's Cacus, Mist must've hid the truth from the mortals."

Percy arched a brow. "You know a lot."

"I have good memory, I memorized and looked things up once I realized my heritage."

"Did a satyr guide you to Camp?" Percy asked. He couldn't read his companion's emotion but he could feel waves of negative energy off her. Oh, she was pissed? He didn't know what he said wrong though.

"A goat guided us. Not half-human though. Thor and I were mystified at first, but the goat is one of the symbols of Zeus, right? It seems clear now why the goat would guide us to Camp."

"You and Thor knew each other since you were kids, huh? Rare to see a child of Zeus surviving for so long, especially with another demigod for company. I got attacked when I was twelve."

Nick didn't respond for a long, long time as they waited for the officers to turn their backs on them. "Yeah," she said, voice cold. "Something like that." Abruptly, she sprang to her feet. "Come on," she hissed, turning up the sidewalk then doubling back, ducking behind the barricades.

Percy stumbled after her, surprised by her sudden movement. That girl was damn silent!

The hole in the street was about the size of a garage door. Pipe scaffolding hung over it with a sort of winch system, and metal climbing rungs had been fastened into the side of the pit, leading down.

Usually, now was the time Percy turned to his friend Annabeth for a plan. Out of habit, he did turn, but he saw Nick instead of his blonde friend staring back at him. "Ideas?" he asked, again due to habit.

Something flashed past Nick's eyes, too quick for Percy to decipher, as she turned to the pit. "Climb down, find the giant, get the caduceus."

"Wow," Percy couldn't help the sarcasm. "Wise and strategic."

"Do you have a better idea, then?" Nick demanded, sounding real irritated. Her look of distaste—they barely knew one another and she already hated him, Percy sure knew a way with girls—reminded him of someone but he couldn't place it. He was still pondering it even as they descended though.

His ADHD mind prayed that the giant wouldn't suddenly chose to blowtorch their asses. Once he was done praying, he started noticing how fucking long the way down was.

The rungs seemed to go down forever. The square of daylight above the demigods got smaller and smaller until it was the size of a postage stamp. Percy couldn't hear the city traffic anymore, just the echo of trickling water. Every twenty feet or so, a dim light flickered next to the ladder, but the decent was still gloomy and creepy.

The son of Poseidon was vaguely aware that the tunnel was opening up behind him into a much larger space, but he stayed focused on the ladder, trying not to step on Nick's hands as she climbed below him—he didn't need more reasons to have her hate him after all.

"You know," Percy spoke, his voice echoing in the tunnel. "you remind me of a friend. Nico—gloomy and quiet—"

The girl below him cried out, her grip slipping and she tumbled. "Nick!" Percy hissed, scrambling down the ladder even faster. Fortunately, they had been close to the surface when she fell. She was still soaked though. Percy sloshed through the water towards her, grabbing her arm and pulling her up. "You okay?"

She nodded, unwilling to meet his eyes. "Just... slipped. Too tired I guess." She muttered a few curses under her breath, Percy politely ignored this, instead, opting to study the factory-sized cavern. The rock walls bristled with old cables, pipe, and lines of brickwork. Busted water piped, probably old sewer lines, sent a steady drizzle of water down the walls, turning the floor muddy.

"I don't want to know what's in that water," Percy muttered.

There wasn't much light, but the cavern looked like a cross between a construction zone and a flea market. Scattered around the cave were crates, toolboxes, pallets of timber, and stacks of steel pipe. There was even a bulldozer half-sunken in the mud.

Even stranger: several old cars had somehow been brought from the surface. Even worse: hanging from meat hooks on a stainless steel scaffold was a row of cow carcasses which were already starting to smell. He half-expected the girl to squeal, like most girls would (except for Thalia and Annabeth) but she barely scowled.

"Where's the giant?" she murmured. A rhetorical question, Percy thought but he felt compelled to answer anyway. He pointed towards the far end where the walls gave way to another tunnel.

"Let's go," she said, sighing in exasperation. Percy was no satyr, so he didn't share the natural fear of undergrounds as a satyr but he must admit this was rather creepy. He silently swore to never go into underground places willingly, unless he really needed to.

The silence was eerie. Looking up at the tiny speck of daylight above them made Percy feel hopeless. Before he could make a comment, Nick grabbed his arm and started tugging him away. Together, the demigods dived behind the bulldozer just as the giant appeared from the darkness, stretching his massive arms.

"He's ugly," Percy said, saving his brain from describing the giant.

"Too put it eloquently," Nick agreed.

Unfortunately for the demigods, the giant had good hearing. He sniffed the air for a few seconds before zeroing on the duo. "You—behind the bulldozer!"

The children of the Big Three exchanged exasperated glances, hands moving towards their respective weapons.

"So, dinner of customers?"

"Customers," Nick said. "We were wondering if you had any magical items... something as powerful as, uh, Hermes's staff?"

"That's real subtle," The son of Poseidon told her, earning himself a glare.

The giant Cacus made a face. "I should've known Hermes would've sent his children."

"No, no, no—at least, I don't think so. I'm Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon," Percy said, stepping forward and pushing Nick behind him. He thought it was the right thing to do—protect a lady from getting incinerated. "She's unclaimed—"

"There's no point telling him," Nick interjected, drawing a celestial bronze sword which Hermes had handed to her after a whispered debate. Percy still wasn't sure what to make of Hermes and Nick's familiarity, and he wondered if he was her dad after all, as strange as their interaction was—but then again, gods weren't exactly the norm when it came to their demigod children.

"Wait, if we kill him without him telling us where the caduceus is, we'll never find it."

Nick studied him critically. Then, she turned to the giant. "Where's Hermes's caduceus?"

Percy blinked. Well, that was straightforward. Cacus snorted. "As if I'll tell you—"

"Oh," Nick said loudly, purposefully. "I guess that's another way of saying you don't have the caduceus. What was I thinking?" She scoffed, throwing the giant her most disdainful stare. "As if you would be able to steal from Hermes who is greater, and definitely a better salesman than you are—"

That got Cacus riled up. With a snarl, Cacus summoned the caduceus into his hand. He shoved it forward. "You see this?" he yelled. "This is Hermes's! I stole it!"

Percy let out a low whistle. "You sure you're not Hermes's kid?"

Nick didn't answer, just readied her sword. Percy studied her stance carefully, unable to help the sense of deja vu, as if he'd seen her in that stance before—she didn't look like she was a newbie to wielding swords; good for her, Percy thought as he uncapped Riptide.

"Let's get him."

PxN

Nick had a lot of unflattering nicknames for Percy after he revealed his trump card: get themselves a free bath from sewer water. Naturally, that did not go well with the demigoddess who had snarled threats of death and insults at him. The only reason Percy hadn't been petrified about the gruesome way she'd deal with him once they defeated Cacus was because she looked like an agitated kitten when she ranted.

Too adorable to take seriously.

Percy snickered. But when the ground rumbled, followed by a threatening roar and something bright going off in the distance, he stopped laughing. "I think," he said. "that's the caduceus's laser mode."

Nick was already running.

"Hey!" he protested, running after her, drying himself in the mean time.

The plan was unspoken: bring the battle away from innocent mortals.

Much to his dismay, people were already snapping pictures. Percy didn't know what people see from behind the Mist but he knew it wouldn't be anything pretty if past experiences were anything to go by. He had been a wanted person before and he was actually surprised he wasn't famous yet.

Percy nearly tripped when Nick led them up the park. He tried to get his bearings as he climbed the stairs. Under different circumstances, he would've enjoyed the view of the glittering Hudson River and the rooftops of the surrounding neighborhood. The weather was nice. The park's flower beds were bursting with color.

The High Line was empty, though—maybe because it was a workday, or maybe because the visitors were smart and ran when they heard the explosions. Somewhere below the demigods, Cacus was roaring, cursing, and offering panicked mortals deep discounts on slightly damp Rolexes.

"I'm sorry to be Captain Obvious but I should warn you it won't be long before he finds us," Percy said, glancing at Nick for a reaction. "Your turn for a brilliant idea."

"I'm working on it," Nick said. Percy's ADHD mind inappropriately noted how pretty she looked under the setting sun—a crazy thing to say seeing as she'd just came out of a sewage waterfall. The setting cast a bronze glow on her face and make her pale skin glow; her dark eyes sparkled like onyx jewels. Her face shone like a goddess's and he'd seen a lot of goddesses to say her beauty was on par with them. Her soaking lustrous black hair was plastered to her face; the dangerous, calculating expression made her —

"—cy, Percy!"

The son of Poseidon blinked when he felt someone slap his cheek. "Ow," he muttered belatedly.

"Are you listening?" Nick demanded, her eyes flashing furiously. "This is a matter of life-and-death. Keep your head away from the clouds and listen to what I have in mind."

"What do you have in mind?"

She was still glaring at him even as she pointed at something a hundred feet away. Percy turned to look: the old railroad tracks split and the elevated platform formed a Y. Jutting over the edge of the railing was the arm of a crane that must've been sitting at ground level. Far above us, a big metal claw hung from the crane's arm—probably what they've been using to hoist garden supplies.

Percy swallowed. "Doesn't it seem to be too... uh, dangerous?"

"I'm good at rock-grabber games," Nick said as she rushed forward. Percy saw no choice but to follow her. "I spent a lifetime—" she faltered, her eyes darkening.

"What?"

"Nothing," she said, obviously lying. "Thor and I used to live in a street full of arcades, so we've got loads of practice."

"That's a game," Percy protested. "Do you even know how to activate it?"

Nick shot him an irritated look. "How hard can it be? Distract him for me, it'd be a plus if you can snatch the caduceus away from him."

"You make it sound so easy," Percy muttered.

"DEATH!"

Nick glanced at him, puzzled. "What?"

"It wasn't me."

The ground shook. The demigods turned to see Cacus storming up the stairs and up the High Line. Seeing as the demigods weren't hiding and the park was empty of anyone, they were easily spotted. Cacus lumbered towards them with grim determination.

Percy wanted to run but remembering that ti was his job to distract the giant, he slowed down into a jog while Nick ran ahead. She reached the crane and leaped over the side of the railing, shinnying down the metal arm like it was a tree branch. She disappeared. Hopefully, she wouldn't abandon him.

The son of Poseidon raised his sword and faced the giant. "Guys," he called to the squirming snakes. "It'd be helpful if you two can change out of laser mode." He heard their hissed answer, struggling to do as he'd asked.

Percy slowly backed up to the dead end tracks, toward the crane. Cacus followed with a sneer; now that he had the son of Poseidon trapped, he didn't seem to be in a hurry to kill the demigod—for which the demigod was grateful for. He stopped twenty feet away, just beyond the shadow of the crane's hook.

"So," Cacus growled. "Any last words?"

"You suck. Hermes is a thousand times better than you."

Cacus snarled—apparently, he hated Hermes a great deal. He lowered the bazooka, taking aim. Percy darted a glance at the crane. It didn't move. Well, Nick, so much for how hard could it be. Even if Nick could get that crap started, Percy wondered how the girl would see.

His eyes widened just as Cacus pulled the trigger. When he wasn't dead yet, Percy cracked an eye open, to see what had happened. Cacus roared in anger—the caduceus had changed into a credit-card swiping machine, all that came out was a receipt.

"Stupid staff!" Cacus threw down the caduceus in disgust, which was the chance Percy had been looking for. He launched himself forward, snatched the staff, and rolled under the giant's legs.

The son of Poseidon contemplated running, but he knew this giant could easily outrun him. Ignoring whatever the giant was saying, Percy threw a frustrated glare at the immobile crane. What was Nick doing? How hard could it be? Just as Percy started to suspect Nick had ditched him, the crane moved.

The crane shifted silently and slowly. Percy blinked when he saw mirrors fixed along the side of the arm—rearview mirrors to guide the operator. And reflected in one of those mirrors were Nick's dark eyes. The claw opened and begin to drop.

"You're out of tricks, demigod!" Cacus laughed. "Your friend has abandoned you and you have no other weapon! Prepare yourself for death—"

"Actually, Cacus, I have another secret weapon."

The giant's eyes lit up with greed. "Another weapon? I will steal it! I will copy it and sell the knockoffs for a profit! What is this secret weapon?"

"Her name is Nick," Percy said, sea-green eyes lighting up with mischief. "And she's one of a kind."

The claw dropped, smacking Cacus on the head and knocking him to the cround. While the giant was dazed, the claw closed around his chest and lifted him into the air.

"Wh—what is this?" The giant came to his senses twenty feet up. "Put me down!" He squirmed uselessly and tried to blow fire, but only managed to cough up some mud. Percy blinked; so that was what the giant had meant when he said he'd blew out the giant's fire.

Nick swung the crane arm back and forth, building momentum as the giant cursed and struggled. For a split second, Percy was afraid the whole crane would tip over, but Nick's control was perfect. She swung the arm one last time and opened the claw when the giant was at the top of his arc. Percy suspected there were so many swings was because she had no idea how to release the claws, but he definitely wasn't going to voice this out.

"Aahhhhhhhhh!" The giant sailed over the rooftops, straight over Chelsea Piers, and began falling toward the Hudson River.

"George, Martha," Percy said, hefting the caduceus. "Do you think you could manage laser mode just once more for me?"

With pleasure, George said.

The caduceus turned into a wicked high-tech bazooka. Taking aim even though his accuracy skills sucked, he didn't have to worry as the range was large enough. He yelled, "Pull!" The caduceus blasted its beam of blue light, and the giant disintegrated into a beautiful starburst.

That, George said, was excellent. May I have a rat now?

I have to agree wit George, Martha said. A rat would be lovely.

"We have to check up on Nick first," Percy said, turning and running back to the crane where he saw Nick struggling to climb off. She was probably muttering curses under her breath as she prowled the ledge like a cornered animal. "Hey!" he called, opening his arms. "Jump!"

"No!"

Percy sighed. "Look, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to catch you. And even if I can't, you'll just have a few broken bones, nothing big."

Uh, to a mortal, I figure it's a pretty big deal, George said. But I'm sure eating a rat would do her good.

"Jump!" Nick hesitated. Percy felt disheartened; he must've looked pretty unreliable to her.

"Are you sure you can catch me?"

"Yeah."

"Can I kill you if you fail to catch me?"

"...Sure..."

She crouched, gazing down as if she might be sick. "I hate heights," she muttered, then lower, so soft he could barely hear her, she said, "I wish Thor was here."

Okay, even though Percy didn't have any particular feelings for Nick, he still felt annoyed she was comparing him to that Thor. He was pretty sure that if there was a contest to compare the two boys, everyone would peg Thor as the reliable one. Percy was so distracted that he didn't see Nick jumping.

If it wasn't for Martha yelling a warning in his mind, he probably wouldn't have been able to catch her.

Nick was lighter than he'd originally thought, and he only staggered under her weight. She was trembling slightly, her arms wounded tight around him. "You were daydreaming again," she said, her breath brushing his ear and he was suddenly aware of their close proximity. "I bet the snakes had to yell at you to get your attention."

She squirmed, pulling back and glaring at him. "You can put me down now."

"Oh," he said, dazed. "sure."

Hate to ruin this perfect moment, Martha said politely, but we really need to go back to Hermes now.

Oh, Hermes knows he can't do anything without us, George inserted snidely.

Percy blushed, grateful that Nick couldn't hear the snakes. He didn't know why they could understand one another while Nick was left out of the loop. The son of Poseidon figured that he was more likable or something. Deciding that now wasn't the time for such debates, he followed Nick down the stairs.

The surface streets were clogged with emergency vehicles and minor accidents, so the demigods took the subway back. Besides, the subway had rats. Without going into gruesome details, George and Martha helped out with the vermin problem. As they traveled north, the snakes curled around the caduceus and dozed contentedly with bulging bellies.

After all that excitement, Percy wanted to doze off too, but he forced himself to stumble onward toward the Atlas statue at Rockefeller Center where he could see Hermes impatiently pacing.

"Thank the Fates!" Hermes cried. "I'd just about given up hope!" He took the caduceus and patted the heads of his sleepy snakes. "There, there, my friends. You're home now."

Zzzzz, said Martha.

Yummy, George murmured in his sleep.

Hermes sighed with relief. "Thank you, Percy, Nick." He looked up at them, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously. "I should reward you guys, huh."

"It's not necessary," Nick muttered hastily. Percy agreed, she probably knew gods' rewards were either synonyms to eternal mortification or punishment.

"Oh, I simply must." Hermes looked the demigods up and down, frowning at how they looked and smelled. "I think we'll have to start with new clothes. Manhattan sewage is not a look you can pull off. Then the rest should be easy. God of travel, at your service."

"You sound like Aphrodite," Percy blurted out without thinking.

Hermes smiled, snapping his fingers and the world dissolved.

Percy had vertigo before he finally found himself planted on a hard surface. He leaned back, grateful that he hadn't been set on a stool, else he would've fallen off. He blinked, glancing down at the monstrosity he was wearing. He sniffed himself. He had on some cologne and from the reflection in the plate, his hair was combed back and he was wearing a fucking suit.

Holy shit. If anyone saw, he'd be the laughing stock of Camp! He looked surprisingly mature and good-looking like that, if he did say so himself. Anxiously, Percy glanced out, noting that somehow, their table was ready and out on the rooftop terrace with a view of the lights of Paris and the boats on the River Seine. The Eiffel Tower glowed in the distance.

Someone gave a cry of horror, and Percy whipped back to see Nick. His jaw dropped—and he sincerely hoped he looked as good as she did. She wore a blood red sleeveless dress that showed off her long dark hair and slim athletic figure. Her neck was wrapped up with a black scarf. Where she wore no jewelry earlier, she now had matching ruby earrings.

She was glaring at him, her cheeks a little red. "How are we going to get back now?"

His attire demanded his eloquence. He said, "Uh... you look good... in a weird way."

Her glare intensified tenfold.

Definitely, Percy Jackson really had a way with words.

PxN

The longest chapter I've typed. O.O So...

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