DWELLING IN THE PAST

Chapter 1

"You know, you don't need to go home tonight."

His lips still tasting Cecile's gentle kiss, he felt himself hesitate a moment too long.

Cecile pulled back with an embarrassed smile, and sat back down. "I'm sorry."

"No…" Horatio knew his face had given him away. "You just… took me by surprise."

"No, it's my fault. I misjudged the moment." She looked down at her hands. "My timing… I'm out of practise."

He was lost for words. Had his friend really just asked him to sleep with her? And, if so, what were his thoughts on it? "Cecile… It's just… Well, I didn't think we were there yet."

"Please, don't explain. I was wrong."

"Look, we're friends. Good friends. I would hate to lose that."

"You think we would?" She shook her head. "No, no, don't say anything. Just forget what I said."

Sébastien, perhaps sensing tension, jumped to the floor and gave a single sharp bark. Cecile bent to soothe him.

"Cecile… I haven't said no…"

"Your face said it, my dear."

"I'm sorry."

Realising that, with both of them severely embarrassed, nothing was now going to happen, Horatio put his hand lightly on Cecile's knee, and murmured, "I'm going to go."

"Will you…?" Her voice trailed off.

"I'll call you tomorrow." He got up, trying desperately to think of something to say to make things better.

She didn't get up, didn't look at him, and he went to let himself out. He heard a disconsolate whine and found Sébastien behind him.

"Go back, dog," he said softly. He would swear the terrier looked perplexed. "You are too smart, Seb. Go back to Cecile. I'll see you another time."

He watched the dog turn and walk a few steps, before stopping and looking back. Horatio opened the door and went out. He sat in the car without starting the engine. He hit the steering wheel hard. "Damn! Damn! Damn!"

He felt tears in his eyes, and a vague sick feeling in his stomach. He mentally berated himself. Horatio, couldn't you have seen it coming? And couldn't you have reacted differently, even if you hadn't? After over five decades on this earth, couldn't you have received a woman's proposition with more grace? He whispered, "Oh damn…" once more, and dashed his hand over his eyes.

With a heavy sigh, he started the car and headed home.

Horatio slept badly. Cecile's surprise invitation – and it had been a surprise – was causing him to dwell on their relationship. It was something he cherished. A woman nearer his own age than many of his acquaintance; sophisticated, intelligent; someone he felt he could discuss anything with… The fact that the relationship could turn romantic, even sexual, truly had not occurred to him. He wasn't looking for a partner, and Cecile had earlier said that she wasn't either. True, they had spent a lot of his vacation together, both aware of their friendship deepening.

He knew he had rarely handled anything so clumsily. Lack of practise… Which was what Cecile had said too. He allowed himself a wry smile, in the darkness. How could two mature adults be so inept? He would have to callCecile tomorrow. He'd promised. But what to say? How to make it right?

He got up, walked naked into the kitchen, opening the fridge and flinching at the bright light. He took a brief drink of milk, straight from the carton, closed the fridge and went to look out of the window. There was an almost full moon, its gentle light reflecting off the sea. He stood there for a while, thinking about Cecile. There was only one thing to do. Be honest with her. Say exactly what he wanted. That was, if he actually knew… Anyway, what about what she wanted?

A full bladder drove him to the bathroom, and he went back to bed. He dozed fitfully for the rest of the night, waking early. Too early to call anyone… He took his guns from the safe, where they'd languished for the past two weeks, and into the kitchen to clean. Carefully disassembling them, cleaning every part, applying a film of oil where necessary…. It was a job he enjoyed, even found relaxing. And it left him as certain as he could be that he would never get caught out by a misfiring weapon. Having seen Speed killed by a lax attitude to the task, he never skimped on it, and hoped the rest of the team needed no reminders either.

He reassembled the SIG and the little Beretta, and returned them to the safe for the rest of the day. He glanced at the time, and thought again about the phone call he needed to make. He still had no idea what to say, but he was fairly certain it ought to be done face to face.

He made coffee, and went onto the balcony, taking his cell with him.

With a sigh – get it over with – he called up Cecile's number.

"Horatio…" She answered quickly. Waiting maybe… "How are you?"

"I'm fine. You?"

"Also fine. Cecile, last night…"

"We don't need to discuss it…"

"I think we do," he said gently. "Can I come over later?"

"Of course."

"Don't make dinner. I'll bring something with me."

He knew that all he'd done was put it off, but at least he'd made contact.

Feeling slightly happier, he attended to chores for the rest of the day, went for a short run on the beach, and returned home to shower and change, ready to go out.

He was about to step into the shower when his cell rang.

"Eric?"

"Boss… Sorry to disturb your vacation…"

"Which is almost over. It's Sunday. You working?"

"I got called in. We've got a major case."

"Tell…"

"Triple homicide, or possibly a double homicide and a suicide. A few things don't add up. Nasty one. A kid involved."

"Oh hell. Do you need me?"

"I do. I'm really sorry. Had you got plans for this evening?"

"Nothing important," he lied. "Where are you? At the scene?"

"Yep. It's just into the woods." He gave the location. "Hidden, but you'll see all the cars on the road. They look as if they were picnicking…"

"Okay. I'll be about twenty minutes."

With a heavy heart, he rang off and called Cecile. No point in beating about the bush. "I'm sorry, I can't come over. I've been called in."

"I understand." She sounded disappointed.

"Honestly. It'll be in the news, I expect."

"Horatio, I don't doubt you! Come when you can."

"I will. Love to Seb."

TBC