A/N: A missing scene from my story "In My Head, In My Heart" although it is definitely NOT necessary to have read it beforehand. Let's call this chapter 13.5? This piece is dedicated to my amazing friend and beta Court81981 for not only coming up with this particular idea when I entertained the idea of doing something from Gale's POV for Envy, but encouraging me to expand on it and continue it when I had my doubts. ILY my dear!

Oh and in case anyone is still interested...I do plan on posting Chap 3 of "When She Knew" eventually ;)

It's my last night at home.

I'm moving out for good tomorrow and not only will it be nice to finally have my own space, but I think putting some distance between Katniss and me will help me move on.

It's hard to really make a clean break when you live right down the hall from someone.

The talk we had yesterday was good though.

I'm glad that there's no anger and resentment between us, no matter what mistakes we both made. Catnip was my friend a lot longer than she was my girlfriend, and if she just suddenly vanished from my life forever it would be too hard to accept.

I'm stepping outside to drop a bag of garbage in the chute at the end of the hall when I see him.

He's holding a bouquet of flowers and before he recognized who I was, he had a dopey, ridiculous grin on his face.

He's bringing her flowers.

For some reason, seeing this twists my gut and makes me feel more sick and angry and upset about breaking up and losing her than I have felt this whole time leading up to this point.

"Hey..." he trails off nervously, not quite meeting my eyes.

I suddenly have the urge to haul off and punch him across the face for taking her from me, for taking advantage of her when he was just supposed to be her goddamn grief counselor, for making her fall in love with him.

And I probably would to, but that ugly, permanent stain on my record, that one drunken night with Glimmer that I have wanted to take back since it happened, stops me.

"Hi," I say curtly, immediately turning my back and walking away from him in the opposite direction, down past Katniss' door, and towards the utility room at the end of the hall.

I might not punch Peeta Mellark in the face, but I'm not going to pretend like I actually like the guy.

I make it to the end of the hallway, dump off the garbage, and am about to head back to my place when I hear him knock on her door.

I hesitate, just out of sight of the hallway, two doors down from her place.

The sadistic, twisted side of me can't help but to want to overhear this exchange between the two of them. I guess part of me wants to know where she's at right now, where they are at. I think knowing would really help me move on and forget about her, especially if she's already forgotten about me.

I hear the door open and there is a moment of silence before I hear her giggle.

She's giggling. Katniss Everdeen is actually giggling.

"What? Don't you like?" she purrs.

I guess I'm struck in the moment by the fact that I have never once heard her talk all flirty and seductive like this before.

"Umm...uhh...like would be a hell of an understatement," he finally manages to stutter out.

"Aw and you brought me flowers!" she gushes. "I guess that's fair, you bring me flowers and I open the door half naked and then give you head."

Fuck. I don't know what I'm more repulsed by in the moment, the thought of her sucking him off or the fact that what she just said kind of got me hard.

She drags him inside and shuts the door behind him. I exhale and step out into the hallway, walking back towards my place.

I'm just approaching her door when I hear a loud thump against it and I freeze.

"Oh fuck, Katniss..."

I can just make out the words coming through the door. It takes me a second to put two and two together and suddenly I'm just standing there trying to stop myself from staying here and listening to this, trying not to be oddly turned on by the sounds that tell me what they're doing in there.

I think about her on her knees in front of him, apparently so eager for his dick in her mouth that she pushed him up against her front door and started sucking him off immediately. I work through my own envy and realize that besides being pissed off and jealous, the thought of Katniss eagerly sucking cock is actually really turning me on.

I think back to the handful of times she did it to me, the way she always acted like it was a chore, how I could tell by the look in her eyes that she didn't really want to.

And now I'm back to wanting to punch Peeta Mellark in the fucking face.

"Fuck, like that..." I hear him mumble, and it's like my feet are glued to the floor. I know I should walk away. I know it's sick and wrong for me to stand here and listen, but I can't move.

The tightening in my pants is starting to get uncomfortable and oddly I am actually glad I'm hearing this, that I know she has more than moved on, that she probably doesn't even think about me like that anymore. Maybe once I rub one out in a second I'll be totally and completely over her too, but I fucking doubt it

I can hear her moaning in response and I'm vaguely aware that I've actually moved closer to the door to hear better.

This is all shades of wrong.

"Come in my mouth, Peeta."

I almost blow my load right there. My dick is rock hard and my pants are uncomfortably tight. I'm trying to make sense of what I'm hearing, how I'm reacting to it. I can't imagine the Katniss I've known all these years asking for fucking cum in her mouth.

I'm so incredibly pissed off by how turned on I am right now.

Because hearing Katniss deep throat cock is hot enough for me to temporarily forget it's Mellark's dick in her mouth at the current moment. Well, not so much forget it's him, but forget the circumstances of how they got together in the first place.

His long groan and the sudden quite on the other side of the door tells me he finished.

I look up and down the hallway, making sure no one is going to catch me eavesdropping on this fuckfest.

"Take that underwear off, I'm going to return the favor."

Mellark's voice heats my blood in anger, but the image of Katniss pulling down her panties stirs my groin enough to not care as much as I should that it's him that is doing this to her.

I imagine her on her back, legs spread open, the wetness seeping out of her. I imagine her squeezing her tits and biting her bottom lip as she waits for her pussy to get licked.

I have to slow my breathing to try and calm down.

"Oh Peeta!" I hear her whimper, and I realize I can still hear them very clearly. Are they fucking going at it on the living room floor? Could they not bear to wait the ten seconds it would have taken them to go to her bedroom?

"Oh my god, don't stop...just like that," she pants.

She is groaning continuously at this point, her cries getting louder and more enthusiastic. I picture her circling her hips and tugging on his hair to keep his mouth between her legs. I picture him sucking on her clit until she explodes.

Suddenly, I'm mad at myself that I never made more of an effort to try and get her to let me do this to her. Maybe I wasn't the most generous lover, but Katniss was always a little closed off and wary when it came to being intimate that I guess I didn't want to push her.

But clearly that's changed. Now from what it sounds like Katniss can't fucking get it enough.

I see red when I think about the fact that it took Mellark to bring this side out of her.

"Peeta I'm going to—" Her words die off as she screams in pleasure

That's it.

I practically sprint back to my place and into my bedroom, just barely managing to lock the door behind me even though no one else is home. I fumble with the button of my jeans and tug my pants and boxers just down past my hips before collapsing on my bed and stroking my cock desperately.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I can't get the image out of my head of Katniss on her knees, sucking dick like a champ. I can't stop picturing Katniss spread eagle on her living room floor, asking for his mouth on her pussy.

I hate Mellark. But at the same time I really fucking wish I was him right now.

I may have taken Katniss' virginity, but she wasn't my first time. The one time we slept together right before we broke up it was okay, but nothing earth shattering. I know some of it had to do with the fact it must have been a little painful for her, but she was nowhere near as sexy and willing as apparently she is with Mellark.

I close my eyes and suddenly I'm picturing them going into her bedroom. I don't know what's wrong with me that I'm so fucking turned on by my ex-girlfriend getting fucked by this guy I hate, but I can't stop for some reason.

I think about how free she is now about sex, answering the door in her underwear and taking his cum in her mouth, and I wonder why I couldn't get to enjoy this side of her. I think about what it would have been like to fuck this Katniss.

I remember how fucking hot she looks naked and how her olive skin turns a slightly darker shade when she's turned on. Suddenly I'm seeing Mellark squeezing her tits and kissing her neck and rubbing his cock through her wet folds. I see him slide inside her to the hilt, and she gasps because she's so fucking tight.

He starts to thrust into her and she gasps and digs her nails into his back. She wraps her legs around his waist and asks for it harder. He kisses her neck and whispers how beautiful she is because Mellark probably does that kind of pussy shit.

He probably fucking cries after sex too.

But the vision of Katniss getting fucked is too strong to let Mellark ruin this for me. I see her thrusting her hips in response to his and whimpering every time the head of his cock catches her clit. She keens and whimpers as he starts pumping in and out of her faster and harder until she comes with a shout.

The whole thing is slow and gentle, but the more I think about it, the more I realize what I saw from Katniss tonight suggests a more uninhibited wild side to her when it comes to sex—a primal part of her that likes it hard and dirty. The thought causes my cock to swell even more and my fantasies run away from me this time.

I see her pushing him down on the bed and getting on top of him. She sinks down on his cock and starts working her hips like she's a seasoned pro. He holds onto her hips as she starts to ride his dick, making those little gasps of pleasure every time they come together and connect. She works her hips faster and faster until he circles her clit with his thumb and she screams in pleasure.

Then he makes her get on her hands and knees facing away from him. He rubs his hands over her tight little ass that she's wiggling in front of him, waiting for his cock to fill her up. He pulls on her braid hard and she gasps but smiles because she likes the pain. Then he slides into her, and she pushes back against him eagerly, wanting more.

He starts fucking her hard and fast, telling her he's going to break her in half. She screams her approval and starts fingering her clit while he reaches around and squeezes her tits. She comes, but he keeps pounding away until she's whimpering from the assault between her legs, unsure if she can physically handle another orgasm. He slaps her ass and she cries out as she explodes again. He comes inside her, filling her up and making her take it all.

I picture all this as I stroke my cock up and down, watching this sick porno I've dreamt up in my head with a mixture of lust and anger.

When I finally do finish, I feel disgusted with myself.

I clean up and try not think about what it means that I was able to get off by that.

Fuck.

I hate Peeta Mellark.

Thank god I'm moving out tomorrow.