Chapter Fifteen

Taking a deep breath as if it might be her last, Tahiri strode inside Master Horn's quarters onboard the Ralroost. She knew she was in trouble even before receiving the holo message to meet him. She'd been avoiding him like the bacta plague since being given a clean bill of health from the ship's medical staff. Of course, avoiding a Jedi Master – and one who was her Master at that – could only go on for so long.

"Take a seat, Tahiri," Corran instructed her.

She did as she was told, preparing herself for the worst. There was something about Corran towering over her, expression stern that made her feel like she was nine years old again, in trouble for breaking the rules at the Jedi Academy. The only difference being this time she knew the consequences would be a lot more severe than a simple lecture.

"You gave me your word you weren't going to try and heal anyone again without proper training."

"I didn't set out to break my promise. Jacen was going to turn –"

"You made the wrong choice," Corran cut her off. "You put your life at risk – not to mention Anakin's. In the end, you couldn't heal him."

"So I should have just let him die?"

"In the end it almost cost your life to keep his going," said Corran, not answering her question. "I had a hell of a time explaining to the doctors why one minute it seemed like your body was shutting down and the next minute you were healing. I managed to pass it off as a Jedi thing but that might not work in the future. As it stands right now, I don't think it's a good idea for what you can do to become public knowledge."

"Because people will think I'm more of a freak than they already do?" She quipped.

"No. Your abilities would be of extreme interest to the medical world, perhaps even the military. But if you don't show some restraint it's going to be beyond my ability to control."

Jaw set in a stubborn line, Tahiri said, "I won't apologize for trying to save Jacen."

"No, I didn't think you would," said Corran, sighing. "But putting everything else aside, the fact of the matter is you broke the promise you made. A Jedi does not make promises lightly. If you can't keep your word, you're breaking one of the fundamental rules of what it takes to be a Jedi. I will put up with a lot of things – stubbornness, speaking out of turn, even forgetting to show up for a lesson – but I will not be lied to. When you make a promise I expect you to keep it. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Master Horn," Tahiri answered dutifully.

When he fixed her with a look that he had probably used during his CorSec days to get prisoners to break, she didn't flinch. In the end, he seemed to believe the sincerity of her response and didn't question her further.

"Now, we need to talk about your training. First things first – we need to make sure Anakin and yourself can be separated for prolonged periods of time."

Tahiri wasn't sure she liked where this was going. "What do you mean?"

"Tahiri, there is a lot I can teach you – if you're willing to learn that is. Part of that willingness means we're going to spend some time away from the fleet and any distractions. Granted, there's a war going on so it won't be for long stretches of time but it's necessary – not only for your development as a Jedi but for you to fully deal with your shaping."

She hadn't realized agreeing to be mentored by Corran would mean being away from Anakin. Deep down though, she realized he was probably right. Not so much for her Jedi training but with coming to terms with her shaping. Every time she thought she had it beat, her other half would rear its ugly head. Although Anakin probably thought he'd seen the worst of it, there was a lot she continued to shield from him, hidden in the dark corner of her mind. Despite everything he had said about accepting all of her, she wasn't quite ready to fully expose that dark part of her soul to him.

[*[*[*[*[*[

All Jaina wanted was a quiet evening alone. Fate seemed to have other ideas as she felt his presence outside her quarters even before the door chime rang.

"Can I come in?" Zekk asked her.

She nodded and let him inside.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing," he said, feeling a need to explain his presence.

"Well, one of my brothers is frozen in carbonite with an incurable disease that makes him want to eat other people. My other brother thinks it's his fault. As if that's not enough, I've got command wondering if I should be removed from the Rogue Squadron roster."

"Sounds like a horrible day," Zekk remarked, tone sympathetic. "I didn't know about Rogue Squadron though. What happened?"

She shrugged. "Nothing and everything. They've been torn about my affiliation to the Jedi for awhile now. I know Wedge and Gavin are doing all they can but they're under a lot of pressure. It's not as if the Jedi are growing in favor these days."

"What happened on Valc VII should count for something. The anti-virus information the Jedi brought back could save millions of lives if the Yuuzhan Vong decide to use Project I17A again."

Jaina snorted. "You'd think that, wouldn't you? Seems like Grand Admiral Pallaeon is more grateful for what we did than our own government – at least what's left of it. I think there's still too many who believe we should just be handed over to the Vong and then the rest of the galaxy will be left in peace. On a positive note, Valc has given Pallaeon a reason to consider an alliance with us."

"That's really good news. Who's going to be leading those discussions from our side?"

"My mother of course. It'll give her something to do and it's just the sort of challenge only she would be crazy enough to take on."

"Speaking of crazy," Zekk started,"my short lived stint with the Dozen is over."

That news didn't surprise Jaina in the least. "It's Kyp's loss. You're a good pilot but I think you're differing philosophies would have had you at each others throats most of the time."

Zekk let out a low chuckle. "It probably would have gotten to the point where there would have been an accident with one of us being on the other end of friendly fire." He shook his head ruefully. "Even if it was the Dozen, it still felt good to be part of something again. Since I've been back I've had a hard time figuring out where I belong. Sure, I was part of the Myrkr strike team but since that mission ended I haven't felt like I have a real purpose here."

"Why did you come back?" Jaina asked suddenly. "You disappeared for almost two years and then all of the suddenly you're back and ready to be a Jedi again."

"After the Academy, I needed to go my own way and figure things out," Zekk said, feeling like he was explaining himself for the hundredth time. Then again, he had brought up the subject of his return in the first place. That was a mistake on his part considering how much of a sore spot it still was between the two of them. "You understood that at the time."

She remembered that. The conversation they'd had at the top of the Jedi temple when he told her he was leaving. She hadn't wanted him to go but knew it would have been selfish to ask him to stay. "I didn't think you were just going to take off and never bother to contact me. For all I knew you were dead once the Vong invasion started."

Zekk's shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry for that. I never meant to stay away as long as I did. But you and I were on different paths, Jaina. You've known your whole life you were going to be a Jedi. For me, it was all so new and I didn't know what I wanted. Hell, I'd spent more time as a Dark Jedi than one of the light so I wasn't exactly convinced the same thing wouldn't happen again."

"And now you've got it all figured out, have you?"

"Not really," he admitted. "But coming back seemed like the right thing to do."

"Because of the war?"

They had never really talked about his return aside from a few arguments, mostly revolving around the fact that he had never stayed in touch.

"That was only part of the reason."

Jaina felt her cheeks flush at the flood of emotions being sent her way. "I thought you said you weren't going to pressure me."

"I'm not. I'm just making my feelings very clear."

Two years ago she probably would have jumped into his arms but not then. "We're not kids at the Academy anymore, Zekk. Things are different now. Like you pointed out before we left for Kalee, I'm different."

"I know that," he said, his expression almost sad. "I've seen how this war has changed you, Jaina. But your life doesn't always have to be about fighting and dying. Look at Anakin and Tahiri. This war is what brought them together, made them realize they were more than just best friends."

"We are not my brother and Tahiri," Jaina said severely. "Just because we're childhood best friends like them doesn't mean we're going to end up together."

"We could if you'd give us a chance."

"You were there on Myrkr. You felt what I did – that if Anakin died Tahiri didn't want to live either. She would have rather died fighting at his side than go on alone. I feel what it's doing to Tenal Ka now whether she wants to admit it or not. She's in love with Jacen and we don't know how long he's going to be stuck in carbonite or if we'll ever find a cure." She looked away from him, feeling her own mental shields slipping. "I don't ever want to feel that way."

Zekk moved forward as if to comfort her but she pushed him away.

"I'm sorry, Zekk, but I can't give you what you want. You should go."

She could feel the frustration rolling off of him but he heeded her request and left. For that she was grateful. If he had forced the issue she didn't think she would have been able to push him away a second time.

[*[*[*[*[*[

Although her earlier lecturing with Corran had gone about as well as expected, it now seemed to pale in comparison to the conversation awaiting Tahiri with the person who seemed to be doing his best to hide from everyone on the ship – herself included. It would be a heck of a lot easier defending her actions to the Jedi Master than convincing Anakin that recent events were not his fault.

He had dimmed his Force presence to the point that it was nearly untraceable, but it still wasn't enough to hide from her. Even without using their Force bond to locate him she knew exactly where he would be. That's what happened when you knew your best friend as well as you knew yourself, maybe even better in some ways.

Tahiri's path led her to one of the smaller cargo hold sections. Until recently it had been used to house extra medical supplies. Those supplies had since been moved to another storage area on the ship. The entire area was supposed to be off limits, but the security systems that had been programmed to keep the outer door locked were disabled and Tahiri was able to walk inside without any trouble. The cargo hold was completely empty save for two individuals inside – one sitting with his back against the wall, the other encased in a block of carbonite.

She resisted her first instinct to start talking – not an easy thing at all to do. Instead, she joined Anakin on the cold floor, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with him.

Her previous anxiety about him turned into full blown worry. He had all kinds of mental barriers thrown up that she couldn't read him at all. He had never blocked her like this before. Not a good sign at all. Finally, she couldn't take the silence any longer and spoke. "How long do you plan on sitting here, punishing yourself?"

"That's not what I'm doing," he responded in a sullen voice.

"Oh, really?" She said, not believing him for a second. "Anakin, you are not responsible for this. We all knew there were risks to what we were doing – Jacen included."

"That's not the point. I should have listened to Jacen and thought it through more, instead of running down to a planet full of zombies thinking I could fix everything with my lightsaber."

"Okay, so maybe we shouldn't have rushed down there," she conceded, feeling his surprise at that statement. "But you still don't know that things would have turned out differently had we gone down there with a well thought out plan."

"You don't understand."

"I understand that you blame yourself for what happened to your brother. I understand that you put these unrealistic expectations on yourself and expect everyone to come down hard on you when things don't go as planned. Have you even talked to Jaina or your parents? I'm sure they would have a different viewpoint on things."

"Don't be too sure about that. I killed my dad's best friend, remember?"

The self-loathing pouring off of him at that point was overwhelming. He wanted to be left alone but Tahiri wasn't going anywhere. Brooding was as much a common part of Anakin's personality as excessive talking was for her. The absolute worst thing she could do for him was to leave him alone so he could wallow in his guilt some more.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her suddenly.

"Spectacular. I got the lecture of all lectures from Corran." She didn't think it was the right time to bring up that she would be going away for her training. It probably wouldn't be for some time anyway – not until they worked out all the kinks with their connection anyway.

"Did you tell him about your Yuuzhan Vong side coming out when you tried to heal Jacen?"

She gave a dismissive wave with her hand. "It was nothing. I was channeling a lot of power and I lost myself for a moment. Don't worry, I'm fine, really," she said, interpreting the look on his face. "Anyway, stop trying to change the subject. We're talking about you, remember?"

He gave a shrug of his shoulders. "There's nothing to talk about."

"If you're looking for someone to blame for all of this, blame the Yuuzhan Vong. They released this virus."

"It's not just about the virus."

"Then what?"

"It started with Myrkr. I knew it was dangerous but I did it because I thought I could pull it off. Sure, the voxyn queen was destroyed but how many Jedi had to die to make that happen? It was the same with Valc. I rushed down there and look how that ended up? No wonder Jacen was always lecturing me. Then you have the rest of the Jedi torn between loving me and hating me for the way I act. I'm so sick of all of it. I don't want to be a leader or someone great things are expected from because of who my parents are. I just want to be left alone."

"Like it or not, Anakin, you're the one who keeps putting yourself into that role. People follow your ideas and crazy plans because they believe in you and no matter what obstacles you come across you achieve your end goal. You probably saved the Jedi from extinction with the Myrkr mission. Bringing back the data on the anti-virus from Valc could save millions of lives, maybe even billions. You set the bar so high for yourself that you get caught up in what went wrong and don't see all the great things that you've done."

"You make it sound like I'm some sort of hero," Anakin scoffed.

"Well, you do have that whole saving people thing. I'm living proof of that." She wrapped his hand tightly in hers. She was pleased to see his face crack into a small smile.

"Actually, I think you're the one with a hero complex now," he said to her. "You're the one running around trying to heal people."

"I blame it on you. You're a bad influence," she said playfully, nudging his shoulder. "Can we end this pity party, please? I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you can't even remember the last time you ate something."

As if on cue, Anakin stomach let out a low rumble.

"That settles it," said Tahiri, getting to her feet. "We're getting some food into you now." She held her hands out in front of her, fixing Anakin with a look that said she wasn't going to accept no for an answer.

He caved and grabbed her hands as he hauled himself to his feet. On their way out of the room she saw him cast a look back at the block of carbonite.

She squeezed his hand. "We'll find a cure," she said to him, tone positive.

And if that doesn't happen I'll take matters into my own hands, she added silently. She didn't intend to break her promise to Corran this time around, but once she had some proper training under her belt she planned to finish what she had started – curing Jacen Solo.

[*[*[*[*[*[

Nom Anor was a patient man – had to be. After all he had spent years disguised as an infidel in order to infiltrate the New Republic ahead of the actual Yuuzhan Vong invasion to this galaxy.

Prior to his being on Myrkr to oversee the voxyn creation and plot to kidnap the Solo twins, he had been ordered to infiltrate the remnants of the Galactic Empire and determine the threat level they posed. Following Myrkr, he had retreated back to Imperial space to finish what he had started there, which was much more than simple espionage. He even had Shimrra's blessing to continue with his covert work.

His choice of infiltration target had been the Imperials Remnant's scientific division. His research of the once great Galactic Empire had shown him their great affinity for biological weapons that could wipe out their enemies entirely. As the Imperial databanks had proved to be such a magnificent source of information he opted not to create something from scratch. Rather, he had chosen to build on an existing bioweapon that would cause destruction on a much larger scale. Once he found what he was looking for, he brought in several shapers he knew to be loyal to him.

From there he had brought to life one of the most deadly bioweapons ever created – Project I17A – which turned both humans and aliens alike into the walking dead. While both his initial test cases within the Empire – for extermination of standard humans – and on Dathomir – for targeting those with Force potential – proved extremely successful, the introduction of the bo'tous to the project had unforeseen consequences. Adding DNA native to the Yuuzhan Vong galaxy had caused the virus to mutate, no longer making Yuuzhan Vong immune to it. In the end, he had been forced to cut his losses and leave but had taken as much of the research as he could with him. He was confident that eventually his shapers would find a way to immunize the Yuuzhan Vong from the effects of the virus. If not, they could try something else with the other information from the Imperial databanks he had stolen.

All in all, the events that had unfolded were nothing more than a minor setback. He doubted Shimrra would be pleased that his initiative had cost the lives of close to a hundred warriors, but it had all been in the name of achieving the greater good for the Yuuzhan Vong race. Nom Anor was not fearful that Shimrra would call for his execution. He still had much of value to offer the Supreme Overlord.

Although he had fled the the Remnant after the outbreak on Kalee, he had left behind a few spies to continue to monitor the situation there as well as what seemed to be the beginning of negotiations between the fragmented New Republic and Empire for an alliance. Another unfortunate event he could not have foreseen happening. It didn't really matter though. In time, both forces would crumble – there would be no doubt about that.

Now, one of his carefully placed spies had presented him with wonderful news – Jacen Solo was currently encased in carbonite to stop spread of infection from the Sickness. It was an opportunity too good to pass up and one that would undoubtedly get him back in the good graces of Shimrra.

Nom Anor just needed to be patient a little longer and then it would be time to act again.

TO BE CONTINUED...

A/N: So that's the end of Part 1. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and supported this story from the start - especially SiouxFan, Firecadet & Calyzar. I hope to post the first chapter of Part 2 in the next month or so.