How Not To Fall In Love With Your Ridiculously Straight Best Friend

An account told by James Sirius Potter

Hello there! The names James Sirius Potter, but my friends call me Jamie, to be honest ,I much more prefer that over James, there's obviously nothing wrong with James, he's my grandad and a totally awesome prankster but he married a girl named Lily (grandmother) which is my sisters name, and not really the biggest fan of Incest so Jamie kind of stuck.

I'm a sixth year, grffyndor obviously, I think Minnie must be losing her mind because last year, I made prefect. I obviously, have no bloody clue how that came about, she hates me, okay, so I don't have the best grades and yeah, I don't really do the whole 'homework' thing. We don't really see eye to eye on things. I would be quidditch captain too! If Teddy would just hurry up and leave...

Teddy Lupin. My best mate, he's a seventh year, bit of a genius. Yeah, he's why I'm making this guide. You see, dear friends, I've found myself in a bit of a pickle.

I'm ridiculously, head over heels, heart pumping, stomach churningly, butterflies in hobnail boots, head dizzying, eyes starrying, insanely, in LOVE with one Teddy Lupin.

Yeah! I know! You think your surprised? How do you think I felt?! I'm the biggest player I know! Then suddenly I wake up and it's all 'blimey! I should fall in love with a bloke today', well, speaking realistically it didn't actually happen overnight. I mean, it started gradually, noticing the golden flecks in his brown eyes, or the way his blue hair glinted in the sunlight. The way his voice got softer and more compassionate when he spoke about something he truly loves, or how he always has time to tutor a failing hufflepuff (or me).

Or you know, the fact that he's hot as fuck!

Seriously, I know the dudes an animagus but 'dat ass'.

Moving on from Teddy Lupin's arse which is a great subject and should be worshi-

I digress.

Back to the problem at hand, Teddy's so straight it's unreal, I mean, he's never actually had a girlfriend, though my fourth year cousin Victoire keeps making eyes at him, but he admitted to me one night, when it was just the two of us, the common room empty and the fire dimming in the night air, that he could never date a Weasley, they were all like family to him. He wouldn't want to hurt them.

I'll admit my heart tore itself up, flung itself to the floor and let people walk on it, but hey, I managed to 'fall asleep' (pretending) and got to lay draped over Teddy like a blanket, while he ran his fingers sleepily through my hair, exactly like what we would do as children.

So all was good.

Except ,you know, the whole in love with my best mate thing.

Fuck, so close.

*Pagebreak*

"Hey Jamie! How's life?" My cousin Fred said, flinging himself into the bench opposite me, I snorted at him, I literally saw him a second ago, before he went to flirt with some 5th years.

"A lot of things have happened since you left a whole 5 minutes ago! I got a manicure, finished 16 essays, became the new dark lord because I failed all said essays and have been banished from touching cheese for the rest of my life, so I became Voldemort to get back at those who can relish in the smooth feel of the oh-great-almighty cheese." I sighed, and Freddie nodded sympathetically, just as he was opening his mouth to say something a smooth voice from behind me interrupted him.

"I think I walked into the wrong conversation at the wrong time."

Teddy.

*cue ridiculous schoolgirl blush that makes me look like a tomato, I blame the Weasley gene and heart beating faster so that I could probably run a marathon'

I fucking hate puberty. It made me into a fan girl.

*shudder*

I could see Fred eyeing me, his blue eyes eyes squinting, I knew what was ticking behind his head, 'Why is he blushing? It's only Teddy!' Freddie may look thick but not much got past his brain which was ridiculously handy for pranks, I stayed quiet ducking my head down to my tomato soup, slurping loudly to try and cover the silence.

I could see Fred's eyes open in realisation. Tosser! Fuck! He knows! Shit! I'm dead. Think fast James! Your named after two different marauders! Think quick.

I do the first thing I think of.

"FOOD FIGHT!"

Prefect my ass.

A/N Hey guys! What do you think of my new project. I've got two projects going on at the moment, this, which is my humour, and The Art Of Dreaming which is my angst fic. So to anyone that likes this, it will be updated as soon as possible and for My The Art Of Dreamers the next chapter is half written so...

ByE! Lupin3Black