I know, I know. I'm insane.

Here's to my insomnia birthing five surprisingly-detailed chapter plans. This story will only be five chapters, though I'm relatively certain the other chapters will be a bit longer. There also won't be any smut in this story (le shocked gasp).

This story just couldn't wait. I actually wrote this chapter in one sitting. One very, very long sitting.

My brain hurts and I've probably missed a bunch of typos but yolo swag it's time to play Zelda. Oh and I'm trying to write in third person limited and it feels weird?

;-; Reviews or follows or favorites or anything would be greatly appreciated. I'm actually kind of excited about this story, and I have everything planned out. ; u ; Fuck yeah.

Woo~

The springs of Itachi's bed made little squeaks as Sasuke bounced, unable to keep still as he sat in jittery anticipation of his elder brother's arrival. His eyes, wide from anxiety, continued to drift towards the large window in Itachi's room every couple of seconds, almost like clockwork. The dark curtains surrounding the rain-streaked window were drawn back slightly, as usual, allowing Sasuke a watery peek into the front yard and driveway, which were still just as empty as they were an hour ago. He frowned.

I should just go back to my own room, he thought. This is stupid.

He shook his head, willing that thought away, and reminded himself that this truly was the only option he had left. He couldn't ask Naruto, he wouldn't ask his dad… Itachi was the only person he could trust!

The sound of a car door closing outside prompted Sasuke's attention, and he forcefully stilled his nervous bounces as he peered out the window. It was Itachi, alright; he'd recognize that silhouette anywhere, plus that was his gray car parked in the driveway. Sasuke began fidgeting, bunching and unbunching handfuls of the blanket beneath him, trying to rid himself of this poisonous nervous energy. Hastily, he mentally played through what he would say, knowing that his pride was in peril; he could let one wrong word slip and have it held against him for the rest of his life.

But Itachi would never do that.

This thought calmed Sasuke enough for his tight grip on the comforter to loosen, and he exhaled slowly. He'd be fine. Itachi had always said Sasuke could come to him for anything, so there was absolutely nothing to worry about.

Slow footsteps sounded up the stairs a few moments after the front door opened and closed, and Sasuke winced with each quiet patter as if it were a deafening thud. But again, he reminded himself that he'd be fine, that Itachi was usually understanding. Maybe he'd been nervous was he was thirteen, too!

But Itachi was kind of perfect. Sasuke sincerely doubted he'd ever had an awkward phase or trouble with girls. Itachi could get absolutely anyone he wanted without a single shred of nervousness, Sasuke was sure of it. His great looks came with an even better personality, making him every girl's dream package. What would he possibly have to be nervous about?

The door to Itachi's room slowly creaked open, revealing a slightly-damp Itachi (courtesy of the relentless drizzle currently plaguing their town). His eyes widened just slightly before returning to their previous size, and a small smile took surprise's place as he stepped into the room and shut the door, warming Sasuke's chest in a way only Itachi could ever do. Sasuke returned Itachi's smile the best he could, and the rest of his dwindling anxiety quickly left him, chased away by a simple expression. Only Itachi would ever be capable of comforting him with a smile.

"You seem tense," Itachi said, slipping his backpack off his shoulders and tossing it towards his bed. It landed next to Sasuke, but he didn't look at it; he was still watching Itachi, wondering how his brother managed to look perfect even when he just came in from the rain. Sasuke only managed to look half-drowned, miserable, and kind of pathetic, whereas Itachi looked as though he could have been a model for overpriced raincoats.

Sasuke sighed.

"I...kind of need your help."

"Oh?" Itachi raised one eyebrow, then hooked his fingers under the hem of his wet shirt. He began to lift it over his stomach, and Sasuke jerked his head away, his cheeks feeling a little warm.

"I got a girlfriend."

"Really?" Sasuke nodded, keeping his eyes on the wall. "And what do you need my help with?"

After the rustling of clothes and shutting of drawers ceased, and Sasuke figured it was safe to look, he turned his head to Itachi with a shrug, meeting that same, impossibly kind smile. Again, he tried his hardest to mimic it, his fingers scratching along the blanket as Itachi stepped closer to the bed. Itachi sank down next to Sasuke once he reached his bed, then turned to his little brother with a look that meant Sasuke had his undivided attention for as long as he desired.

"Sh…" Sasuke gulped, tearing his eyes away again. "She tried to kiss me today."

Sasuke heard a small chuckle, which managed to color his cheeks a couple shades darker.

"I fail to see the problem, little brother."

Sasuke heaved a sigh, then turned to Itachi, noticing his brother had leaned a bit closer. He bunched the comforter hard, wondering why it seemed to be difficult to just spit it out and be done. Since when did Sasuke Uchiha ever get tongue-tied...or ask for help?

"I kind of...avoided it."

Itachi's gentle smile morphed into a smirk, and he leaned back, one eyebrow raised.

"And why did you do that?"

"Because I've...neverkissedagirlbefore," Sasuke mumbled, staring at the ceiling. "AndIwasscaredIwouldmessup."

Itachi chuckled again, and Sasuke gritted his teeth as his embarrassment began to change into a little bit of indignation. Here he was, practically baring his soul, and Itachi had the nerve to laugh?

This really was a bad idea.

"It's okay to be nervous," Itachi said a quick moment later, all traces of humor gone from his voice. His tone was much gentler and almost as soothing as his smile, and immediately Sasuke found his irrational annoyance fading into a memory. "It's normal, in fact."

"She looked kind of upset," Sasuke said, frowning.

"She probably thinks you don't like her," Itachi said. "I wouldn't blame her."

Sasuke sighed and tore his eyes away from the ceiling and back to Itachi, then shrugged one shoulder.

"But what do you need my help for?" Itachi asked, one eyebrow slightly cocked.

"Y-You're Itachi. I dunno." Sasuke shrugged both shoulders, struggling for words. "You seem to know pretty much everything, so I figured you could help me…"

"...Get over the fear of kissing your girlfriend?"

With a huff, Sasuke scowled at Itachi, but only earned a ruffle of his hair for the trouble.

"You make it sound ridiculous," he muttered, "but yeah. Basically."

"You're that afraid of messing up?" Itachi asked, withdrawing his hand. Nothing about the way Itachi spoke made Sasuke feel like he was being made fun of, so he nodded, looking more than a little humiliated.

"I just don't want to do it wrong," Sasuke said, throwing the last shreds of his pride to the wind. "It'd be embarrassing."

"The only way to learn how to kiss is from experience, really," Itachi said, his expression sympathetic. All of a sudden, his eyes grew slightly wide, then some emotion Sasuke had never seen before flashed across his face before disappearing behind his usual mask of composure. Sasuke blinked, confused by that quick glimmer of some unplaceable emotion, before his brother uttered the most unexpected statement Sasuke had ever heard.

"I could teach you."

Sasuke visibly jerked back, startled by Itachi's weird proposal (if that's even what it was).

"You mean, like...kissing...lessons?" His inflection rose with every word, betraying his total disbelief. Itachi nodded, his lips stretching into a small smirk, though Sasuke couldn't quite place this subtle change of expression, either. Excitement, maybe?

"But...that's weird," Sasuke said, barely mumbling the words. "And wouldn't it be cheating?"

Itachi's expression didn't change in the slightest as he shook his head. "I would just be helping you learn, since there really is no other way aside from practice," he said, the words coming out uncharacteristically quick. "And it wouldn't be cheating, if you think about it—but I suppose practicing on your hand could work if you really put your mind to it."

Sasuke grimaced, remembering the humiliation he felt when he turned his head so Sakura's ill-timed kiss fell on his cheek. Even Naruto had teased him about it...but kissing his brother? "I still think it's kinda...weird."

"As I said before, practicing on your hand might work."

"You're mocking me." Sasuke's eyes narrowed and a small pout pulled at his lower lip. It definitely was weird, but as Itachi said, there really wasn't any other way. Sasuke glanced at his hand and quickly determined that practicing on it would get him absolutely nowhere; if anything, it would earn him another one of Sakura's pouts when he dodged her next surprise attack.

"I'm doing no such thing," Itachi said, and the sincerity in his voice erased all doubts from Sasuke's conflicted mind. "If it really would make you uncomfortable, then you don't have to agree. I'm just trying to help."

"No. You're right," Sasuke said, releasing a long sigh. "There really isn't any other way. I need practice."

When Sasuke glanced up, his cheeks pinker than Sakura's hair, he quickly pinpointed the same glimmer of emotion from before dancing across Itachi's sculpted features. It stayed for longer that time, and Sasuke found his throat feeling a little dry and his cheeks getting hotter the longer he stared, trying to determine exactly what it was.

"So you'll let me teach you how to kiss?" Itachi finally said, his words slow and almost careful.

Sasuke gave a jerky, uncertain nod. His face felt like somebody was aiming a flamethrower at it when Itachi scooted closer, and when Itachi grasped the side of his face, Sasuke pulled away, his eyes wide and cheek tingling.

"I'm just trying to show you what girls like," Itachi murmured. Slowly, Sasuke nodded, then released a small sigh when Itachi cupped his face again. His eyes remained wide as he stared up at his big brother, finding it hard to breathe as some strange form of anticipation made his heart hammer in his ears.

"Pay attention, alright?" Sasuke nodded, his eyes drifting to Itachi's lips as he spoke. "Be gentle. Most girls enjoy being treated like they're delicate, so don't rush or be hasty. Also…" Itachi suddenly grasped one of Sasuke's hands and entwined their fingers together, then rested them against his own knee. "Girls like it when you hold their hand."

His hands are really warm.

Sasuke nodded slowly, careful to make quick mental notes to store away for later use. Itachi's thumb rubbed against his cheek bone, and the elder's words tapered off for a moment as their eyes met. Then Itachi smiled, and slowly leaned forward.

"Pay attention," he whispered.

When their lips met with feather-light pressure, Sasuke took a deep breath through his nose before breaking away with a hasty jerk of his head. His heart almost hurt from how fast it was beating and his stomach seemed intent on forcing his lunch up sometime soon, and it took him a moment to regain his breath before he faced Itachi and readied himself to mumble some stupid, embarrassed apology.

"I-I'm s—"

"It's alright," Itachi said quickly, a breathtaking smile tugging at his lips. "I know it's your first kiss, but there's no need to be so nervous. It's just me."

Sasuke gulped as he nodded, and his eyelids fluttered closed as Itachi once again grasped his face and gently held his hand. Itachi muttered a quiet, "relax," under his breath, then lightly connected their lips once more. Aside from squeezing the life out of Itachi's hand, Sasuke didn't move this time—he was too still, in fact. He wasn't even breathing, and his muscles quickly began to ache from the strain of being so stagnant as Itachi's warm lips moved against his dead mouth.

"Sasuke, relax," Itachi chuckled, pulling a breath away. "You're too stiff. And you're hurting my hand."

"S-Sorry." Sasuke released his grip on Itachi's hand, his embarrassment multiplying with every blunder.

"Don't be," Itachi breathed. Sasuke's eyes were still squeezed shut, but the breathy tone of Itachi's voice made him shiver. "Just follow my lead."

Once their lips met for the third time, Sasuke tried his hardest to mimic Itachi's actions, as he had no idea of what else to do. Sooner than expected, their lips found a slow and surprisingly steady rhythm, and Sasuke felt pride begin to swell under the mountain of butterflies tearing at his stomach when Itachi didn't break apart to correct him. A few more seconds passed before Itachi finally pulled away, then pressed a kiss against Sasuke's temple, lightly stroking Sasuke's cheek with the pad of his thumb as his lips lingered against Sasuke's skin.

"I think you're a very good kisser," Itachi said, and Sasuke noticed again that his voice sounded slightly breathless. Itachi's hands almost felt a bit shaky as well, weird as that was.

"Th-Thank you, big brother," Sasuke muttered, finding it difficult to speak without his voice trembling for some odd reason. "And thank you for...helping me."

"It's what big brothers are for...but I need to get started on my homework now," Itachi said, and Sasuke could hear the smirk in his airy voice. "Just do what I've shown you; I'm sure your girlfriend will like it."

With that, Itachi pulled away, hands and all, a gentle smile quickly lighting up his pink-dusted face. Sasuke didn't even allow himself to entertain the idea of Itachi actually blushing; it was absurd, since he was, well, Itachi, and he had no reason to feel embarrassed. At least he knew how to kiss—that much was obvious.

"I-I'll try," Sasuke said. His heart still thumping just a bit faster than normal and his legs feeling slightly wobbly, Sasuke stood to his feet and made his way towards Itachi's door. He grasped the handle once he reached it, his hand unsteady, and turned it slowly, his mind reeling as it replayed the past ten minutes and its strange occurrences.

"Don't be afraid to ask me if you're uncertain of anything else, alright?"

As Sasuke nodded, he lightly shut Itachi's door behind him and wandered towards his own room, not consciously controlling the actions of his legs. As he leaned against his door, shutting it with his weight, he pressed a hand against his cheek.

Why's it still so warm?

wooooooo

incest

hell yeah

and yes there's SasuSaku I'M SO FUCKING SORRY *bANGS HEAD AGAINST KEYBOARD*

I think I've been on the computer for too long today. O n O Hm.

Please please please please please please please please review and follow and favorite and show me love because lord knows I drink it up like Slutty!Sasuke drinks Itachi's cum

what?

Thanks for reading c: Sasuke's actually innocent in this; isn't it a nice change of pace? XD And if anyone thinks he's too innocent to be thirteen...I didn't have my first kiss 'till I was fourteen, so... ;-; I dunno, man. I dunno.