Disclaimer: I do not own Ghost Hunt nor any of the characters- I just like to make them do random things for my own amusement.

With that being said, criticism is more than welcomed. Thanks.

Rated M for: slight gore, suicide, and a little swearing. (Just to be safe.)

"Talking" - 'Thoughts'

Story: Trigger Happy

Mai was sitting sullenly on the ledge staring out her apartment window. Her eyes once full of mirth and innocence, now only shown with sadness and loss. Her once perfect short hair lay limply, flowing down and touching her shoulder blades gently. Her clothing full of wrinkles and torn holes swallowed her whole. She had lost a few pounds- a lot. She could care less about her appearance now. She couldn't even meet her own gaze in the mirror when she finally had enough motivation to shower. Her form was pathetic and she knew it well.

Over all, it was a gloomy Sunday.

"It has been three years now." She whispered softly in the depressing silence. The wind whirling throughout the room from the slightly less than adequate window. Rain pouring outside droned on, barely noticeable to the young woman's ears. She was tired and drained, but mostly just lonely. The apartment building was clouded in dark, a wave of despair hit her hard.

"Three years and you still haven't come back." She continued to speak out loud, no care if someone were to hear her mournful words. 'Not like anyone would be here to hear them,' she morbidly thought.

Three years ago Naru and Lin left. Leaving her with nothing- no family, no friends, no life. She was a shell of the person she once was. They had left with Gene's body and never came back like they had promised her. She couldn't blame them much though, nothing good ever happens around her. All she does is cause trouble. Trouble.

Sighing softly, her eyes wavered outside for a few more seconds before turning in towards her solitude. She much preferred the solitude over gatherings, now. The whispered phrases bouncing back and forth from the others in SPR got old and unamusing. She had stopped contacting them over a year ago and they stopped trying. She was both pleased and crestfallen, but she was so used to the solitude her sanctuary submerged her in- she wouldn't dare contact them again...right?

She pondered on sleeping. Slumber was always best on these days- almost every day. But as she thought about sleep, she thought about the shadows in her dreams. The shadow of the man with the face of someone precious to her (but was an entirely different person). Sleep was out of the question.

Glancing at the clock on the decrepit wall beside her couch, she spoke the numbers meekly. "3:31 in the morning. Numberless- time is nothing when worth naught." The thin ceiling dripped rain down, coating the surrounding area in musty water- While the rust forming in areas she hadn't bothered to tell her landlady about stood glaringly apparent, she continued on.

Continued on living.

She missed him dearly. To the point of not existing without him; to the point of entertaining the thought of leaving. Either packing up her bags and moving far, far away- or just leaving everything behind period.

White flowers, she had requested them to be placed on her grave once she had died. As she was carried away to her parents in a black coach, to be buried along side them. At the time she was not prepared for the thought to slither into her head, nor was she happy about it. Even though she hated the idea of leaving early- she had written it down on the piece of paper she requested for her will reading. She embraced the thoughts after a while, after all, no one lives forever. What was she if not practical?

Sorrow. Yes, there would be a lot of sorrow, but Mai made sure there was not a lot of people left to see her off. She made sure to break the ties she had with the others as to not hurt them deeply. 'Though' she thought weakly, 'Even if I have broken the ties that bind us to one another they will still be heartbroken.'

Angels, she always thought them to be superficial. Nothing but one's imagination going wild with grief. A faith to help keep one's self from shattering. After working at SPR for that short year, she now wonders if they may be real and if they are... would they have thoughts of returning her. Would she want to return? Heaven. Would he join her there at some point and still smile at her- demanding tea? Would he be angry with her? Would she even go to Heaven?

As Mai felt the coldness seep into her pores, she reached for the cell phone beside her on the end table. Gently holding the phone in her palm she asked herself if it would be a good idea to do it. She knew the repercussions of her actions would be tremendous, but wasn't she allowed such selfishness once in a while?

Smiling wistfully down at the small device, heart pounding deafening to her ears. She pushed the speed dial #1.

"..." The line was silent, though picked up from the other end. Both not knowing how to speak to each other after so much time between them had passed.

"Bou-san." Mai coughed, her lungs which had been seized in panic now raced to support her with enough oxygen to continue the conversation. Gulping down the large lump in her throat, she plowed onwards.

"Bou-san, I..." She paused, unable to remember why she had dialed his phone number. Briefly she wondered if she had already lost her mind, or if she had one in the first place. 'Or so Naru would say.'

"I wanted to call you." Mai felt the bile rise in her throat, an urge to vomit all over the floor surfacing. "I wanted to speak to you one last time."

The man on the other line, who was silent until now, spoke. "Mai." It was as if a huge burden had been lifted off of his shoulders. He had always wondered what had happened to his little sister. Always thought that he could have done something more. He tried to get her to go to therapy, but around a year ago she demanded that they stop fussing over her. Little by little the young teenager turned into a shell of a woman, pushing them further and further away from her. He tried calling, breaking down her door, forcing her to go out and have fun, but nothing worked. Once Naru had left, Takigawa had watched as the bubbly girl turned into a wreck. Watched as she ripped at the seams, not knowing what to do with herself. Shattered as the one thing that she held dear to her betrayed her. He was the only one who tried to keep in touch with her over the year- even if he did fail.

"Mai." He repeated, almost unable to say anything more than her name. Her voice was like music to his ears- he wished he could see her smiling face again.

His eyebrows wrinkled, the last thing she said finally catching up to him.

"What do you mean one last time!?" Takigawa shouted briskly, his eyes widening. She couldn't be leaving could she? If so, he wanted to see her before she left- where was she going? Who was she going with? Was she planning on going after Naru? So many questions, but no answer came from the other side of the line.

"Mai?" He voiced his concern- making his voice shake. Wearily, he thought of what could possibly be going on inside her head.

"My heart-" Her voice cracked, tears pushing past her eyelids traveling down her flushed cheeks and on to her damaged lips. Her lip shot inwards, teeth gnawing on the bright red flesh. Nervously, she continued on. "My heart hurts, Bou-san. I-I have decided that it is time."

Takigawa's blood froze, as he suddenly realized what she was saying- what she was going to say. Interrupting her, he spoke hurriedly- throwing on some random clothing from his floor and crashing into the wall in the process. "Mai, you need to stop and think. Don't do anything reckless. We don't want to see you hurt- I don't want to see you hurt yourself." Rushing out the door of his apartment, he fished his keys out of his coat pocket and slammed the door shut behind him. Running past the elderly couple that lived a few doors down, he located his parked car in the space where he left it last. Tearing the car door open and jamming the key harshly into the ignition, he tore off towards Mai's apartment.

"Mai, please don't do anything."

Mai sobbed, her body shaking violently. Arms wrapped around herself she listened to Bou-san talk to her on speaker phone.

"Mai! Listen, I know things are bad and I know I have been a shitty friend, but please! PLEASE! Don't do anything. I will be there soon, I am only." Glancing at the sign that flashed by he read it, "A few minutes away. Just please keep talking to me."

She breathed out in a loud gasp, as the sobs continued to build. Her face hidden in her arms, she spoke the words she needed to.

"I-I-It's t-time to e-en-end it all."

Takigawa's heart broke as he listened to his little sisters voice. Listened as she fought her own battles, never asking for help. Never pleading for some ones shoulder- only trying to stay strong.

"No, Mai. It's not time to end it all. It's never time to end it all. Think about everyone! Think about Ayako, Madoka, Masako, Yasuhara, John, Lin, Naru, and myself! Think of what it would do to all of us if you were to kill yourself. Think about how much we would hurt. We love you. We care. Mai, please."

"I-I-I wan-want white f-flowers." She continued to speak, not listening to the hysterical man on the other line. "A-and I-I want J-John to do-do the prayers. I-I know it will be sad f-for all of-of you, but I d-don't want you-you guys to cry." She hiccupped, tears still spilling from her dejected brown eyes.

"No Mai! God damnit!" The voice was too far away, she wasn't listening anymore. Just muttering aloud her thoughts.

"C-can you let them know that-that I-I am glad to go? Death-Death is no dream and-and even-even though I kn-know that, with my last breath I-I wil-will be blessing you all. B-Because I-I love you guys!" She screamed the last part, her hands fisted in her brown locks. Her eyes shut tight as her body heaved from the cries. She just wanted to end it all. She just wanted to not feel pain anymore. She wanted to be selfish.

"Mai!"

"MAI!" The door to Mai's apartment bashed against the wall, the sound piercing the silent room.

Mai looked up, her eyes miserable- mouth moving.

BANG!

"MAI!"

Takigawa shot upwards, his night-shirt clung to his clammy body. Sweat poured down off his brow as his eyes shut tightly in silent agony. "Mai." He whispered brokenly into the night. Ayako cried quietly behind the closed-door to Hōshō's room. Her palm pressed firmly against the cold wood, as it silently pled for her to comfort the broken man inside. Bringing herself together, enough to walk into their shared room- she pulled the man into her arms. Hugging him tightly, she felt his arms wrap around her waist.

"I couldn't save her, I couldn't get to her in time." He whispered beside her ear- in to her soft red hair. "I was too late. I-I co-couldn't s-stop her from-from pulling the t-t-tr-trigger!" His voice cracked as he gave into his cries. Letting himself go, as he was held by the woman he loved, he couldn't stop seeing Mai laying face first on the floor in a pool of her own blood. A handgun a few feet away from her prone body. A phone laying discarded, with its screen flashing bright.

"S-she wa-wanted whi-white flowers. The bang, oh g-g-god! T-the blood! The blood! It's all-all my f-fault! All my f-fault!" He continued to babble on, not caring that he was being weak in front of her.

"Shhhh... It's not your fault, Hōshō. Shhh." Ayako brushed his hair back, kissing his forehead as he continued to grieve. "S'not your fault..." Their tears mingled together.

A group of people stood back and watched the scene play out, all in tears. All grieving for the one they lost.

Naru's fist clashed with the wall, his eyes dark- bangs covering the emotions flooding past and out. Tears cascaded down his pale cheeks. As he screamed, his eyes followed the blood trail that dripped down his hand and to the floor.

"YOU IDIOT!"

"Bou-san."
"Bou-san, I..."
"I wanted to call you."
"I wanted to speak to you one last time."
"My heart-"
"My heart hurts, Bou-san. I-I have decided that it was time."
"I-I-It's t-time to e-en-end it all."
"I-I-I wan-want white f-flowers."
"A-and I-I want J-John to do-do the prayers. I-I know it will be sad f-for all of-of you, but I d-don't want you-you guys to cry."
"C-can you let them know that-that I-I am glad to go? Death-Death is no dream and-and even-even though I kn-know that, with my last breath I-I wil-will be blessing you all. B-Because I-I love you guys!"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Thanks for reading. :3
I got the idea after I listened to Emilie Autumn's "Gloomy Sunday". The song just screamed Mai.