Prologue

Rin Matsuoka was a kid with passion for swimming. He joined the Iwatobi Swim Club - his fathers old club - during elementary school, where he met Haruka Nanase, Makoto Tachibana and Nagisa Hazuki. Rin teamed up with the three of them, insisting that they'd swim in the relay together, earning them first place. After the victory, Rin went aboard to Australia to chase his dream of becoming an Olympic swimmer.

Secretly, he was sad to leave his friends behind to chase his dream, but Rin was certain that he was a step closer. He believed in himself, and after winning the relay with his former team, he wanted to continue succeeding, finding a new team and make new friends.

As he transferred to his new school in Australia, he soon realized it was a task harder than first estimated. The other swimmers in his new club was on a whole other level, and while being used to be one of the best swimmers in Iwatobi, he found himself struggling to keep up to the swimmers in his new club. We would have taken the challenge with a smile, if it wasn't for the loneliness that followed being 'the new guy'. Everybody knew each other, had their close friends and didn't necessarily need another one. Rin had trouble understanding the Australian slang, making the others laugh at him. As much as he didn't want it to get to him, he missed his friends back at Iwatobi, often thinking about the memories they shared. Trying to ignore his classmates and team-mates harassment, he focused his energy on training, reminding himself why he came here.

A year after he transferred, he went back to visit his old home, where his mother still lived. Realizing what he had left behind, he started to feel insecure whether he had made the right choice in moving to Australia. He didn't want to call his old friends from Iwatobi, worried that he might regret moving aboard.

None the less, he ran into Haruka a cold winter day. Not wanting his old friend to worry about him, he put on a smile and asked the raven-haired boy to race him. Haruka went along with it, never rejecting a opportunity to swim.

Rin had always been amazed by Harukas skills but never able to win a race against him. This was his chance, he wanted to prove that his year aboard had been worth it - all the harassment, all the loneliness, all the self-doubt. Things he had never been familiar with before. He had to know if his training had paid off.

Haruka had won the race, once again proven that he was faster than Rin. Feeling the anger and bitterness build up inside him, Rin ran off and as Haruka caught up, the redhead yelled at him, swearing never to swim again.

After that, Rin ran away, ignoring his old friends until he had to go back to Australia. Going back to being bullied and feeling alone, he kept on practising. His dream was all he had left now.

Building up walls to protect himself from the adversities, he kept going, aiming to be the very best he could. He isolated himself to avoid the harassment and disappointment, but on sleepless nights he felt the loneliness eating him up, not able to keep a straight face when he was all alone with his thoughts.

To lessen the loneliness, he acquired a cat to keep him company when he wasn't at school or at the swimming club. Naming him Sailor, Rin finally felt a connection to something in this foreign country.

Chapter One

Rin cuddled up in his bed with Sailor next to his chest. He had called in sick today, feeling the need to think things through. His room-mate, Nitori, had promised not to tell anyone that he wasn't really sick. Rin didn't really trust the younger boy, but he knew that he looked up to him and wouldn't risk him getting angry at him.

The cat purred as he caressed the soft fur, and the redhead felt calm and safe. Ever since he got the cat, it had calmed him down when he was upset and he couldn't imagine a life without his soft companion. Sailor looked up at him with his green eyes, as Rin stopped moving his hand, lost in his thoughts. A low meow rang through the silent room, and the cat moved a little closer, nuzzling his nose against Rins chest, asking him to pay attention.

Rin looked down at the cat, starting to stroke it again mechanically, and let his mind wander.

He had gotten back from Australia a couple of months ago, attending Samezuka Academy, still chasing his dream of becoming an Olympic swimmer. He ran into his old friends from Iwatobi a couple of day after returning, and they had acted like not a single day had went by since they last saw each other. Being reminded of his past, seeing how they still were friends and knowing what he had missed out on by going to Australia, he had put on a façade. The same façade he had put on ever since loosing the race to Haruka, acting arrogant and not caring about anything.

Makoto and Nagisa had seemed hurt by the tough treatment, but Haruka hadn't responded at all. He just stood there, looking at Rin with his shining blue eyes and an expressionless face. The redhead had been taken aback by the lack of reaction from his former friend, but had recovered his temper before anyone noticed. Except for Haruka.

Rin had tried to avoid his old friends, feeling a pinch of loneliness every time he saw them, especially after a guy named Rei Ryugazaki had joined their swimming club. He felt like he had been replaced, and it hurt to know that deep down, he missed them so much more than they apparently missed him. Even though he was back in the small town, living so close to the three of them again, he had been replaced. He was alone.

Nitori had tried to gain his trust, wanting them to be friends, but the redhead wasn't able to let anyone near him. He was afraid to loose everything again and wouldn't let himself get hurt again by letting someone near just to be stabbed in the back. He missed having friends, but the little voice in his head told him that they were better of without him.

Sailor started purring again, slowly whipping his tail from side to side. Rin felt the comforting warmth from his pet, allowing himself to let a single tear fall from his eye.

He was no good for anyone. Everyone would be better off without him. His mother wouldn't have a disappointment for a child. His sister wouldn't have to feel obliged to care about him and try to get him and his old friends to get along again. The people around him wouldn't have to deal with him and his pathetic annoying ways. But he was too selfish to disappear and he hated himself so much for it.

Sailor got op and moved to lay by the red locks on the boys head, trying to comfort him. He meowed worriedly, nuzzling his face to stop his train of thoughts. Rin wrapped his arm around the cat, moving it back down to his chest and holding it close to his body as he turned his face against the pillow and cried.

Why was he even here? Why was he still chasing that stupid dream that had given him nothing but problems. He jerked his head back, banging it against the wall, punishing himself for thinking like that. It was his fathers dream, it was his dream! His father had given up on the dream to become a fisherman, and had drowned, leaving Rins mother alone with him and his younger sister, Gou. He had very few memories of his father and could no longer recall his face. He looked for it in the mirror every single day, trying to tell which features he had gotten from his mother and which from his father. He wanted to remember his face, and somewhere deep down, he hoped that if he managed to follow his dream, their dream, he would be able to remember his fathers face.

He had never imagined how long the path was and what he'd have to sacrifice to get there.

He threw his head back again, and his ears started ringing as his head hit the wall behind him again. Sailor had gotten up, looking at the redhead questionable as his owner kept banging his head against the wall. The cat jumped down from the bed, fleeing from the loud sounds as skull collided with concrete.

"No!" Rin cried, trying to catch the cat mid-air, "Please come back, don't leave me!"

The cat hid in the corner of the room under his desk, looking on him with huge green eyes.

Rin started sobbing, feeling like even his own cat would be better off without him.

He thought of Haruka, the one he missed most of all. The raven-haired boy had tried to seek him out a couple of times, making sure Rin knew he wanted to talk. What about, the redhead didn't know, but as curious as he was, just as much felt he the need to keep distance to everyone and especially Haruka. They had been so close, Haruka had been his best friend, and they'd had so much fun together; he didn't want Haruka to see him like this. He had gotten a lot stronger and a lot better, his practise still being the only thing that kept him going, but he felt like Haruka looked right through him. Maybe it was just his imagination, but those blue eyes seemed to penetrate everybody, reading Rin like an open book. Another reason to keep his distance.

Feeling like his head was about to explode, Rin finally got up from the bed. The physical pain, caused by banging his head against the wall, was nothing compared to the pain he felt in his chest and the overwhelming self-hating thoughts filling his mind. He walked back an forth in the room, pulling his hair, pleading for his head to stop torturing him. Finally, he gave up. He walked towards the bathroom, slamming the door before Sailor could follow him, leaving the cat on the other side of the door, where he started meowing over and over again, trying to make Rin come back out to him.

Rin threw his clothes on the floor, walking into the shower and turned on the water. Starting to cry again, he slowly sled down, back against the cold wall. Sitting down on the shower-floor, he buried his head in his arms, crying silently and letting the water wash away his tears.

Why did he have to feel like this? Why him? On the other hand, better him than anyone else he knew.

He reached out, grabbing his best friend and did what he had to do to feel just a little better.

Sailor was still sitting by the door, when Rin finally came back out from the bathroom, wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and lazily drying his red locks with a towel. The cat walked around his legs, nuzzling against him. Rin ignored the cat, feeling a little better and really tired. He was about to throw himself back on the bed, hoping to get some dreamless sleep, as he head a knock on the door. Looking at the watch hanging on the wall, Rin concluded that it was too early for Nitori to be back from his lessons. The redhead thought about it for a second, considering if he should pretend not to be there, but as he heard the knocking again, this time louder and more insistent, he decided to answer.

As he slowly opened the door, a frown danced over his face, hiding the shock and sinking feeling in his stomach. Inside, he dropped his jaw by the sight that met him, but his faced showed no kind emotions, as he glared coldly at the person on the other side of the door.

"What do you want?" he asked unfriendly.

"I came to talk. I will not take no as an answer," Haruka said calmly, pushing Rin back, walking into the room, and closing the door behind him.