Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Pairing: I think we all get it by now.

Warnings: yadda, yadda, the usual.

A.N: I'd like to take a moment to remind you all that this story is suppose to be ridiculous for ridiculous sake and relies heavily on dialogue.

Backwards

Convincing Heero to stay and spend the night proved to be the best thing for the both of them after the evening's disturbingly painful revelations. The rest of the night was spent in comforting silence with the television on, the volume turned down low. Duo gave Heero the physical distance he required and waited patiently until the Japanese man initiated contact again.

Between warm sheets they talked idly about Heero going to therapy. He'd toyed with the idea reluctantly over the years, and it seemed that finally his tortured past needed to be approached, but Duo couldn't be his counselor, his keeper. He didn't have all the answers.

"Have you ever gone to a therapist?" Heero asked with his face half buried in the pillow, television screen casting muted blue light on their faces creating interesting abstract shadows.

Duo chuckled. "Been to a therapist? I've been to like six."

"Does it help?"

"Not at first. It takes time. Are you scared to talk to a perfect stranger about your history?"

"Scared? No, but I think I rather set myself on fire."

Duo laughed loudly causing Heero to smirk. "Please don't do that. I dunno if I'd be turned on by the smell of charred flesh."

Well in the early morning hours they fell asleep, TV left on throughout the night.

For the first time in a long while, Heero's inner alarm clock didn't go off and he slept until ten thirty in the morning. Waking up, the Japanese man smiled against the back of Duo's head. He'd never played "big-spoon, little-spoon" and found the cuddling rather soothing. Noticing the level of sunlight shining through the blinds Heero jerked up right and pushed Duo's shoulder.

"Duo! We're late for work!" he yelled and thrashed about to get out of the bed.

Clutching Heero by the crook of his arm, Duo yanked him back down and informed, "We aren't going to work today. I already called in for the both of us."

"I've never missed a day of work!" the blue-eyed man complained.

"I know. It's a crying shame that you're not going to get that perfect attendance award this year. Oh wait, we aren't in elementary school, and I think playing hooky for one day will be good for us," the sleepy violet-eyed man pointed out as he rolled over and snuggled up behind Heero for his turn to be "big-spoon".

Heero grumbled but didn't verbally protest. What good would it do? What was done was done. So he asked, "What are we going to do?"

"Ever spend a selfishly lazy day in bed before?"

"No."

"Cool, then that's what we'll do. Go back to sleep."

"I can't go back to sleep. I can't believe I didn't wake up earlier!"

"It's probably cuz sleepin' in my bed is like sleepin' on a cloud, and knowing you, your bed is probably stiff like a brick."

Rolling his eyes Heero huffed out a sigh. The man behind him was right about one thing; his bed was sinfully plush and cozy. A cloud indeed.

Somewhere on the floor beneath a pile of rain-perfumed clothes, Heero's cell phone vibrated in the pocket of his jean cut off shorts that he had worn on their hike.

"Could you grab that?" the Japanese man asked.

Reaching over the edge of the bed, Duo rummaged around and clutched the cellular device. Without looking at the caller I.D. Duo slid his thumb over the touch screen and answered for Heero.

"Hello, you've reached Heero Yuy's phone. The Perfect Soldier can't take your call right now. You're speaking with," he dropped his voice to a throaty dark grumble, "the God of Death," and then returned his voice to its normal cheery cadence. "How can I help you?" Duo grinned at Heero who rolled his blue eyes. He hadn't meant for Duo to answer the call.

"Duo?" A feminine voice squeaked.

The unbraided man's smile fell at the voice on the other line. "Hey Relena," he drew out each word a couple of syllables. Heero ducked under the comforter to escape. Placing the phone against his shoulder, Duo muttered, "I have half a mind to Dutch oven you."

"If you do that then you will die the most painful of deaths," Heero threatened while peeking out from under the blanket to glare daggers at the other man.

Duo snickered and returned the phone to his ear. "What was that 'Lena?"

"Where's Heero? I called his office today, but he wasn't there. Is he sick or something?" she asked very concerned.

"No, he's not sick. We had a little sleepover last night and decided to skip out on work today."

"A sleepover?" Relena squeaked. "H-ho-, um. How was that?"

Duo's eyebrows pinched in confusion. "Uh, fine."

"Did you two, uh," She laughed nervously, "sleep in the same bed?"

"Yeah," the violet-eyed man croaked. He sent Heero a wide-eyed, lips forming a strong frown expression that seemed to say 'this is getting weird' – an expression only a long time friend could decipher. Heero mouthed 'what is it?' back at him.

Relena coughed and inquired, "Did you guys wear pajama's or just sleep in your underwear?"

/The fuck is happening to me right now?!/ Duo screamed in his head. "Uhhh, underwear."

"Th-that's cool," the Vice Foreign Minister stammered, paused and then continued, "So what, um…what kind of underwear were you guys wearing?"

Violet orbs bulged out of their sockets, but without missing a beat Duo sarcastically indulged, "Well I wore black laced women's panties and Heero had on the sexiest green banana hammock. Dude can rock a thong like no other."

"What the fuck, Duo?!" Heero yelled and yanked the phone from his hysterical friend. "Relena, none of that is true!"

"So you didn't sleep in the same bed?"

"Yeah we did tha-"

"That's so hot."

"What?"

"The two of you in the same bed. It's a nice mental picture."

"Umm…"

Duo leaned towards him and whispered, "Bro, she's totally getting off on the idea of us. How fuckin' strange is that?!"

"I have to go, Relena."

"But wait! We're supposed to talk about getting back together."

"We aren't getting back together. I told you, I'm dating Duo now."

"Stop lying to me Heero Yuy."

"I'm not lying to you," he assured.

"…So, you're really dating him?"

"Yeah."

"You're gay?"

"Looks like it."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I'm still figuring it out."

"I don't know if I believe you."

"Well, it's the truth."

"Prove it."

"How?"

"Send me a picture of you two kissing."

Heero pulled the phone away from his ear as if it had been a hot coal that burned him. /Who is this chick?/ He wondered since she didn't seem to be behaving like the woman he knew so well. "Seriously?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes. Send me a picture of you and Duo kissing on the mouth and I'll believe you."

"Fine," he stated and hung up the call.

"What's up?" Duo asked excitedly, clapping his hands erratically because he couldn't contain his hilarity if he tried.

"She wants a picture of us kissing."

Laughter boomed from the American as he fell onto his back. "I have a better idea," he giggled, "Let's send her a short video of us making out."

"NO!"

"Yes! It's the least we can do for her. I stole you away and she's obviously turned on by dude on dude action, so let's give the lady what she really wants."

Heero made squeaking noises of disbelief in the back of his throat as Duo grabbed the phone from his hand. Fiddling with the smart phone, the unbraided maniac brought up the video recording app and scooted close to other man sitting in his bed. Holding the phone at arm's length, Duo pulled Heero by the scruff of his neck and mashed their mouths together. It was only when the Japanese man eased into the kiss and opened his mouth when Duo tapped his thumb over the record button. Nipping at Heero's bottom lip got Duo the ammo he wanted, a sensual soft moan and he ended the video.

"Eleven seconds of one times two going Relena's way," he chuckled and proceeded to text the video to the blonde woman.

Heero muttered as he buried his face in his hands, "I can't believe we just did that."

"I know," Duo chuckled. "It's fuckin' hilarious."

The phone beeped with an incoming text notification. Reading it allowed, Duo just couldn't control his laughter, "This is what she said: O M G, so hot I'm soaked. I wish the best for you two." His laughter consuming him, the violet-eyed man rolled off the edge of the bed and onto the floor. The blue-eyed man groaned painfully in response.

For the next few hours their phones were placed on silent mode in avoidance of any more weird unwanted calls. They spent the time talking on a different kinds of 'get to know you' levels with basic light-hearted questions like "what's your favorite music", "what's your favorite weather", and "if you could go anywhere, where would you go"? It amazed them both that even though they'd been friends for so long, they had never discussed such normal, trivial topics. The only time one of them left the bed was to either use the restroom, or Duo would get up to retrieve snacks and drinks because he refused Heero the will to remove himself from the bedroom.

"My legs are getting stiff," the Japanese man complained.

Chuckling, Duo added, "Yeah, I'm getting stiff too."

The not so subtle innuendo wasn't lost on Heero. Rolling his eyes and reaching over the bed to clutch one of his shoes from the previous rain-soaked day, Heero bashed, "Maybe this will help you with that!" And he smacked Duo's arm with the shoe.

Rolling off the bed, Duo grabbed his long combat boot and smirked. "Oh yeah, soldier boy? Well then, take this!" He boasted as he hit Heero with his own shoe.

In a fit of laughter, both strong men hit each other repeatedly with their shoes and thought nothing weird of it. The shoe fight went on for a while until the bedroom door suddenly opened and in stepped another person. Duo, always handy with knives, grabbed a switch blade hidden under the pillows and popped it open. Heero, without his gun, raised two scary fists below his chin in preparation of an attack. What happened next neither of them expected.

There in the doorway stood their friend Wufei, confused and amused.

The Chinese man had gained enough insight on the situation to ask, "Is this the manly alternative to a pillow fight?"

"What are you doin' here, 'Fei?" Duo sighed, closing his switch blade and placing it back under his pillow. Heero in return unclenched his fists and the pent of tension in his frame eased. Duo was beginning to regret giving a copy of his apartment key to each one of his friends - something they all did in case of emergency so access to their homes would be easier than busting down the door or hopping in through a window.

"Neither of you answered your phones when I called," he shrugged. "Honestly, I was more worried about Yuy since he has never missed a day of work, but I can see now that you're rubbing off on him, Maxwell."

Throwing his arm up in the air, Duo admonished, "Ya know I can't get 'Ro to do anything he doesn't wanna! He's here buh-cuz we're havin' fun and takin' the day off."

"Yuy never takes the day off," Wufei deadpanned and glared at Heero.

"Well actually," Heero started and cut himself off. Realizing that he was about to unceremoniously admit to the previous nights revelations his mouth ran dry. "I was…I wuh…I w-wa-wu-was." What happened to his carefully constructed filter?

Discerning that stammer and trepidation, Duo interrupted, "I was havin' a god awful night and our buddy 'Ro decided to stick by my side and help me through it." He smiled and gave Heero a meaningful look that claimed, 'I got you. Don't say shit and just follow my lead.'

"Ye-yeah," Heero agreed and constructively twisted the truth. "He opened up to me about his past and was too torn up to go to work this morning, so I thought it best to stay with him." Feeling the weight of guilt, Heero's shoulders slumped.

"He's such a good friend!" Duo boasted as he shook Heero's shoulder.

Wufei didn't buy it for a minute. His observant training kicked in and told him that he was being lied to. But he didn't say anything. There was a strange tension in the air that he couldn't place his finger on and he knew that calling them out wouldn't explain much.

"Yeah, okay. Just be at work tomorrow or Une will have a fit," the Chinese man warned and exited the room, closing the door softly behind him before making for the front door.

As the front door closed with a soft, muted click, Heero turned to Duo and stated, "You've got big ass balls for lying to Wufei like that."

Duo shrugged. Lying was against his principles but under the right circumstances he would twist the truth. "It's true," Duo admitted sarcastically, "My balls are so big I can't buy underwear."

Heero simply stared at Duo with a blank face before hitting him with his shoe again. "You're an idiot!"

Well past noon, they both lay entwined together on the bed and watched irrelevant shows and movies to pass the time. Heero had yet to experience such a carefree day, and that he was sharing it with Duo made it all the more comfortable to handle since his constant go-go-go frame of mind had a difficult time of laying back and appreciating the little things. Sly, soft, tender touches with tips of fingers grazing over goose bumping flesh were frequent and welcomed.

When Heero became restless, Duo allowed him to move about the room but not leave. At a laugh filled point in the day, the blue-eyed man had Duo sit on his back while he completed sets of push-ups with claps between every up-lift. If anything that reminded Duo that no matter how larger or bulkier he got, he'd never harbor the deceiving strength Heero had. But that didn't bother him or bring insecure feelings of self-doubt, Heero had been genetically altered after all.

Laying side by side, Duo's head at the foot of the bed and Heero his counterpoint resting the opposite way, they'd been talking amicably about the war and what had become of them since when Heero noticed the time – half past five – and decided he needed some time alone to figure his thoughts and feelings out.

The workweek progressed normally, so to speak. Quatre kept a vigilant eye on his two friends, desperately wanting to gossip and trying to figure out how Heero and Duo were developing their new relationship. Wufei knew something was different but kept his questions to himself. Trowa…well, Trowa didn't notice anything out of the ordinary except for his own boyfriends' strange excitement whenever Heero or Duo came by.

Tuesday proved to be a stressful day for the blue-eyed man thanks to talking semi-candidly about his past for half an hour to a complete stranger where he kept his gaze stubbornly fixed to a spot of the carpeted floor; his first therapy session. By the end of that ordeal, the psychologist suggested they meet three times a week – Monday, Wednesday, and Friday – for hour-long sessions. Needless to say he wasn't looking forward to the continuance, but he'd give it a try and hope that in the long run something good would come of it.

After work the next day and his first hour-long session, Duo sensed Heero's discontent and encouraged him to take part in a task they both enjoyed: shooting targets at the Preventers underground firing range. Fifty one-manned stalls lined one side of the massive room and a long stretch to where the targets were displayed on the other. Using standard issued 9-millimeter pistols they empty multiple ammo magazines into black-silhouetted figures. For the braided man it was to help his friend release his tension, but for Heero it became a quasi-mission. Each cartridge of bullets was shot into the imaginary face of one enemy or another from his tortured pre-war life. Some of their names long forgotten, buried deep in his subconscious in effort to abandon painful memories, but their faces remained in his mind's eye. The other scientists whom were part of Doctor J's team, the ones that called for his retraining and dehumanization were the people he symbolically killed with an entire clip of slugs. By the end the Japanese man felt better, but he knew it was only temporary. Removing the safety glasses and earmuffs – policy for using the range – he realized Duo was standing behind him, smirking kindly with a question in his eyes.

"Feel better?" the violet-eyed man asked.

Heero shrugged and grunted.

"Rrrr, me Heero, me cave man, rrr," Duo mocked in hopes of getting a snicker from him.

And it worked.

"Shut up," Heero chuckled, placing the glock on the shelf by the empty magazines.

Something possessed him to grab the braided man by the collar of his Preventer issued jacket, yank him close, and mold their mouths together in slightly bruising kiss. In the heat of the moment he didn't know what gripped him, but it was yearning for physical comfort and a distraction only Duo could provide.

The stall wasn't that large and lacked a door but it kept them hidden from prying eyes and security cameras. With Heero's tongue trying to crawl its way down his throat, Duo forgot he still held a gun in his hand and when he went to reach for blue-eyed mans neck to deepen their impromptu make out session, the heated metal grazed Heero's neck causing him to pull his head back and gasp loudly.

"Sorry, sorry," Duo apologized, "It's not loaded anymore." He hastily dropped the gun besides Heero's on the metal shelf, cradled his head in both hands, fingers meshing into soft dark brown hair, and continued the awesomely fun activity of sharing saliva.

The brief encounter with the gun increased the heavy smell of gunpowder in his nostrils and his blue eyes remained fixated on that weapon. Duo bit down on his bottom lip playfully, simultaneously ground his thigh between Heero's legs, eliciting a low throaty groan.

"God you're fucking hard as rock," Duo mumbled against Heero's parted lips, teasing his leg against the Japanese mans fully charged arousal.

Thrusting his hips to inflict the same torture on Duo's groin, the blue-eyed man whispered, "Pick it back up."

"Hmm?"

"The gun."

Violet eyes appraised the weapon curiously from his side vision, looked back into hungry Prussian blues, and then picked it up and placed the barrel along Heero's neck, the muzzle rubbing behind his ear. His breath hitched, pupils dilated, thighs tightened around Duo's leg all thanks to the warm metal and echoing gunshots from others at the opposite end of the room. Lost in rapture, he clutched the braided mans hips with both hands to force them to undulate together with more pleasurable pressure. Witnessing Heero behave wantonly threw Duo into his own lust fueled frenzy. Attacking the free side of his neck, Duo sucked and nipped at the sensitive flesh. Moving his hands down, the braided man used his left to grope Heero's backside and the other to stroke the guns barrel along his throbbing cock. The sensation of a lethal weapon rubbing against his manhood evoked another gasp to fall from the blue-eyed mans kiss swollen lips.

Chuckling darkly, Duo teased Heero's ear between his teeth, muttering, "I should have known you'd have a fuckin' gun fetish."

"It's new to me," he responded in a quivering voice.

The titillating reality that Heero's sexuality was being discovered and him experiencing Duo in intimates in ways that were new to him made the braided man think of his partner as having a facet of innocence. That thought ignited his excited passion like dry brush exposed to the hot flames of hellfire. The gun adding kink to the intoxicating mixture, Duo gave into the dominating side of himself and pressed the muzzle of the gun under Heero's chin, lifting his head back.

"Hands against the wall," he ordered upon a whisper.

Completely fogged by their promiscuity Heero followed Duo's command and placed his wrists against the wall beside his head. Violet staring into blue, blue staring back into violet, the dark heady need increased as Duo worked on Heero's belt. As quickly as he could, the braided man undid both their pants, retrieved their weeping cocks from their confinement and stroked them together with his free hand. Heero withered beneath his touch and almost brought his hands down to help, but his counterpart pressed the pistol under his chin with more force as a silent warning. Duo stroked their dicks together at a painfully slow pace, watching Heero's face for every minute change and was graced with his hearing his breathing become more shallow, shaky, his cheeks turned a soft pink, blue eyes unable to focus on one particular spot, continually rolling back behind his lids.

He pleaded, "More."

"Shut up," Duo murmured, attacked his mouth to silence him even though he hadn't requested loudly; the ringing gunshots surely would have covered their sounds, but Heero was letting him take the reins and Duo wanted nothing more than to exploit that.

Mouths caressing, Duo picked up the pace for a few minutes, bringing them closer to the edge before he abruptly stopped. Heero growled in dissatisfaction, glared at the grinning braided man who commanded, "Touch me."

Free to use his hands Heero copied Duo's actions but the one holding the weapon lodged the gun firmly under his jawbone and instructed, "Just me."

Following orders Heero masturbated his friend like he would himself, straight forward and to the point, lacking prolonging techniques, but that didn't matter. Right here, right now, wasn't meant to go slowly. Their mouths collided again and Duo fondled Heero with equal intensity and urgency. The skillful rough hand brought him closer to climax than he anticipated.

Duo gasped, "I'm close. Imma come on your shirt if you don't aim my dick at the floor."

"Where would you prefer to come?" Heero asked, nipping savagely along his jaw.

"On you," he groaned, eyes soaring to the back of his skull, balancing on the brink.

The blue-eyed man lifted his button down shirt and tie up high on his chest, exposing his defined abdomen to the air with his unoccupied hand. Strangled gasps and repressed groans escaped Duo's throat, his entire body went stiff as he exploded across Heero's stomach. The heat of Duo's cum running down his skin made the blue-eyed man whimper, lions constricting.

Never one to forget the needs of another, Duo increased the speed of his hand over Heero's cock, flicking his thumb over the moist tip, utilizing every trick he knew to get him off equally.

The muzzle of the gun pushed his head back further, forcing him to peer at the ceiling.

"Three," Duo whispered in his ear, breath tickling the shell.

Heero began to thrust back into Duo's hand.

"Two."

The click of the hammer being pulled back echoed in his eardrums, making him inhale sharply.

"One," Duo whispered hotly, pulling the trigger.

The following click caused Heero to ejaculate, his essence spreading across his own skin to mingle and mix with Duo's. He trembled violently, knees buckling as his orgasm cocooned and rocked his body, panting moans no one but Duo could hear.

When it was all said and done, Duo dropped the pistol back onto the shelf blindly as he sought out Heero's lips to capture his quiet sounds of release. They rubbed against each other, the sensitive post-orgasmic flesh making them whine and satiated, the sweat on their bodies cooling.

"We needa clean you up," Duo mumbled, his forehead resting heavily against Heero's. The Japanese man hummed in agreement, too tingly to articulate real words. The warmth of their cum began to dissipate, the chilled air having that affect when Duo suddenly bent at the waist and took a long swipe across Heero's chiseled abs with his tongue.

Gasping, the Japanese asked, "Why'd you do that?"

"Cuz I wanted to know what you and I taste like together," Duo answered, smacking his lips together. "We should clean you up," he repeated and proceeded to wipe the man-naise off of Heero's abs with his jacket sleeve.

"Ew, you can't wear that now."

"No shit Sherlock. Imma wash when I get home."

"We should get out of here."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure."

Duo grabbed Heero by the neck for one final kiss and bid him farewell.

The rest of the week didn't go as smoothly as they would have hoped, their new circumstances created a foreign dynamic between them that we were less capable of hiding.

Lunch on Thursday proved to be a little uncomfortable. Dorothy had official business to attend to at the Preventers Headquarters, and while she ate her meal alone in the cafeteria she glared daggers at the braided and Japanese men who sat with their three close friends at a near by table. Relena had told her about how Heero had broken off their relationship over text message and was now supposedly dating Duo. She didn't buy it for one second.

Irritated with being scowled at, Duo asked loudly, "What's your beef, Dorothy?"

Her forked eyebrows pinched further together, wrinkling the bridge of her nose as she said nothing and chewed her salad slowly.

"You wanna piece of me?" Duo taunted, knowing well why she was glowering at him. "Get at me," he added, thrusting his shoulders and smacked his chest.

Dorothy remained silent and added another fork full of lettuce to her mouth.

Turning back to his friends the American snickered, "Girlfriends gotta serious case of bitch-face."

This made Heero choke on his water, a decent portion snorted from his nose. Everyone at their table laughed at his expense as he hid half his face behind a napkin and continued to cough. Due to their lofty budding affection, Heero found himself smiling and laughing more often at Duo's antics than he ever had before. The warm, fuzzy honeymoon phase was gaining quick momentum. The previous days exhibitionist experience left them both yearning for more. It hadn't even been a week since they agreed to date each other, but Heero could already feel the switch that should have been flipped during puberty finally flick to 'on'. Late bloomer or not, the sexual awareness had the Japanese man eager and hungry for more.

Our two questionable lovers kept a friendly distance and cordial co-worker façade around others, hoping no one who already didn't know of their current status would be left unaware.

Late Friday morning, almost their lunch break, Heero and Duo were standing in the break room drinking coffee with Wufei. The braided man chattered away at the speed of lightning about something Heero wasn't giving an ounce of his attention to. His focus was on Duo's face and his wild gestures, but the words fell on deaf ears because his mind was connecting the bridges over why it had been relatively easy to form this new dynamic to a long existing friendship. They were both cut from the same cloth, so to speak. They suffered many of the same travesties during the war. They both thought like soldiers, valued the same honorable characteristics in each other: honesty, loyalty, respect. The touching and the kissing hadn't been hard to adjust to at all either. Duo had been one of the most tactile persons he knew, the other person being Relena. The increased level of physical contact was much more easily accepted, wanted and returned than he had ever experienced with his now ex girlfriend. And the kissing, oh, the kissing. Duo kissed so much better than Relena, and when Heero gave some real comparison he recollected that the Vice Foreign Minister kissed like a toad. She had this awkward movement with her tongue wherein she would thrust it repeatedly into his mouth like a frog trying to catch a fly, very unnatural and not all arousing. He still wasn't sure if he was gay and that didn't really seem to matter anymore because at least with Duo, he was.

The violet-eyed man said something about getting back to work, drawing Heero out of his fuzzed, happy mind and back to reality.

Without thinking, Heero set his coffee cup on the counter said goodbye to Duo and kissed him on the mouth. The braided man eased into the kiss naturally but a strangled cough made their eyes pop open and stare with fear at each other. They had forgotten for meaningless second that Wufei was present in the room.

They pulled away quickly; Heero slapped Duo on the shoulder and said, "See you at lunch."

Turning his attention awkwardly to Wufei, he did the only thing he could think of to keep their Chinese friend from asking questions or inferring anything. Heero walked up to him, mumbled his name, cupped his face in both hands, and planted a quick peck on Wufei's mouth before pivoting quickly on his heel and marching out of the break room.

Alone with a silent, horror-stricken Wufei, Duo chuckled and threw his arms up in the air and boasted, "It's this new European thing we're tryin' out!"

He grabbed Wufei by the back of the neck only to have a hand slapped over his mouth and Wufei hiss, "Don't you even dare."

Duo pulled back and ushered out a fast, "Okay, bye!" before practically sprinting down the hall to Heero's office.

He slammed the door behind him and leaned heavily against it, waiting for Heero to stop his speedy typing and look up at him. That didn't happen.

"Well, that was weird."

"What was?" Heero asked.

The braided man snorted and proceeded to holler, "What just happened in the break room, that's what!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Heero said calmly, eyes never leaving the computer screen.

"You just KISSED Wufei!"

"Shut up! Don't say it out loud! I'm trying to remove it from my memory!" Heero pleaded.

"Aw, come on, it couldn't have been that bad," Duo chuckled.

Heero murmured, barely moving his lips, "It was awful."

"Worse than Relena?"

"I would rather kiss her a thousand times over than do that ever again!"

Duo rested both hand on Heero's desk, sighed heavily and theorized, "Well, I think your little stunt threw him off our trail."

Heero shook his head and insisted, "Wufei's not that dumb."

"I dunno. He wouldn't let me kiss him."

That finally got Heero to look away from his computer for a split second. "You should get back to work," he directed.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't want to be seen hangin' around each other too much. Appearances and all."

"Does the secrecy bother you?"

"Nope, not yet at least. It's kind of like we're in a covert mission on the home front."

Duo went back to his office to work for an hour and a half before their lunch break.

At the table Wufei kept eyeing Heero and Duo suspiciously. Quatre seemed to pick up on Wufei's tension but didn't say anything. Trowa didn't notice a damn thing. Duo acted as normal as possible, and Heero consumed his lunch at a record-breaking pace, all in attempt to get back to his office and hide for the rest of the day.

Throwing away his trash he had every intention of making a quick exit and said a polite goodbye to his group of friends, but Wufei interfered with his plans by teasingly asking, "Aren't you going to do that European thing?"

"What?" the blue-eyed man asked, confused.

"The kiss thing," the Chinese man pointed out.

Heero groaned inwardly and muttered, "Oh…right…yeah."

He made haste going around the table starting with Duo, then to Quatre who laughed against his mouth, and then to Trowa who was shocked and taken aback by the quick peck.

Wufei put up his hand to block Heero and requested, "Don't do it again to me, please. Ever."

"Sure, no problem. Okay, bye!" And he swiftly vacated the cafeteria.

The table was silent for a minute except for Quatre chucking behind his hand. Duo bit his tongue to keep from joining in but couldn't ward off the smile.

Trowa looked around the table flustered and then asked loudly, "What the hell was that?!"

The blond man laughed out loud, turned to his boyfriend and said, "Heero kissed me."

"I know! I was there! What the fuck was that about?" The green-eyed man was lost in a fog of utter confusion.

"Apparently, he and Maxwell are doing this new European way of saying goodbye," Wufei informed.

"Yup," Duo added. "I should get back to work so…" he leaned in to kiss Quatre who leaned into him as well, playing along with the deception, but his boyfriend tugged him back by the shoulder.

Duo opened his eyes to find Trowa holding a clear plastic knife under his nose and ordered, "Don't even think about it!"

"Okay, sorry!"

"And don't kiss me either!"

Duo left the table not bothering to even try to kiss Wufei and sought out the elevator. He was a little miffed that Heero got to kiss everyone and he hadn't.

A.N: So0o00o, I have enough material for the next chapter that could have been included here which would have made this chapter reallllllyyyy long, but it's sort of lacking in the painfully awkward department. If any one has any suggestions, I would love to hear/read them. Tell me what you think would be a funny scene and if I use it I'll cite you as the inspiration/help. :D