EUPHORIA

Chapter 26 - Mothers

Chealsea had just finished making toasts when Steve entered the kitchen.

After he had come back after his morning run, she offered that while he was having a shower, she would make breakfast. Those days everything seemed to be too tense between them, as if someone had started to choke her every time she allowed herself to think of their future. Last night, they planned to go on a date to work on this, but Steve had a surprise mission. This was their fourth ruined date.

She knew it wasn't his fault and the redhead couldn't be mad at him for too long anyways. Disappointment was way stronger than anger. She had to accept that everyone needed Captain America. But was she selfish for wishing for more?

Meanwhile, Steve approached from behind, kissing her temple before stealing a toast. He watched her while he was chewing.

"Move in with me," he asked all of sudden.

Chealsea turned towards him, with a small wrinkle between her eyebrows and confusion written on her face.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because," she inhaled a deep breath before raising her head, "it's too soon."

"Too soon? You're pregnant."

The redhead had followed his eyes down to her belly. She had just started showing and they knew the others would ask them about her weight gaining soon. Chealsea felt sorry for not telling them yet, but wanted to make sure everything settled into its place before announcing. Of course, Lydia, Nate and Bobbi already knew.

"It doesn't mean I don't want to move in with you ever, but not now." Chealsea rolled her eyes at the disappointment his eyes mirrored. He liked being dramatic and could sulk just like a three years old who didn't get the toy he asked. "Babe, I just—I know why you want this so much, but I don't think we should rush thing because of the baby."

She handed him two plates with forks, noticing that he avoided looking into her eyes. Men are child, she thought with a small smirk, wrapping her arms around him from behind. He touched the back of her hand and she felt him relaxing. She kissed his back.

Steve turned towards her, snaking his arms around her.

"I came from a different America, Cheals," he said. "Nowadays, people don't have to be married to have children, but those days were different. If a girl got pregnant, not getting married wasn't an option. But I won't ask you to marry me, because I suppose it'd be too soon for you. I do want to live with you, though. Our child has to be raised in a proper home."

Our child, she liked the way it sounded, how proud his lips formed the words. But something in the tone he used made her chest tighten. He was Captain America, he couldn't just start a new life all of sudden. Not everybody recognized him as Steve Rogers, but Captain America was a rather famous name.

Perhaps her hormones bought up a protective side of her or she was being realistic, she wasn't sure.

"Moving in together wouldn't solve our problems and you know that. I love you so much, I always will, but I think it's neither the right time nor the place to discuss this."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, of course I'm not."

"I want to protect you," he said, "both of you."

"Who would—," the redhead immediately started panicking, "—Steve, why do we need to be protected?"

Steve kissed her forehead. "You're in no danger, but since you're pregnant and we're gonna have a baby soon, I'd feel so much better knowing that you're well and protected."

She smiled at him. "Maybe I could spend a night or two in the Towel, if that makes you feel better."

"I wish—I wish I could just stay with you. Sometimes I'm thinking of retiring."

"I would never ask you to do that."

"I know," he replied quickly.

"We need Captain America," she whispered barely audible, a feeling tightening her chest. "Giving up on this because of me would be a mistake."

"Nothing would be a mistake if I do it for you. But I'm not gonna give up then, I promise."

"Good."

He kissed her forehead, "Cheals," then her nose, "you're," pulled her closer, "everything," and kissed her lips. All her worries had disappeared by the taste of his tongue as it massaged her own. She loved how easily he had forgotten his shyness and picked her up. Chealsea looked at her through her eyelashes, blue eyes now dark with desire.

Steve cleared his throat, "Are you sure?"

"If you turn me on like this," the woman purred, "then the least you can do is fucking me."

"As you please, Ma'am."

"Don't forget we have an appointment tomorrow. We can see the baby."

Steve missed the first one and even though Chealsea didn't blame him, he blamed himself. "I'll be there."

"I know."

"You should eat more vegetable," Steve suggested. "Seems like my son is really fond of eggs."

"Son? Our child is probably a girl who will make you watch every single Disney movie before she even turns four."

"Sounds nice."

"You'll sing those songs by heart."

Steve shook with laughter.

"Good mornin' guys," a sleepy voice came from behind them. She heard him yawning, and then someone touched her shoulder and chuckled. "Lyds room is a huge fucking mess. She has like—ten thousand teddy bears. Still better than that crappy hotel room, though. I felt like I was being watched all the fucking time."

Chealsea smirked. "Be glad she was not there. As much as I love her, her snoring is not from this world. Like the Hulk's."

This one earned her a low chuckle from Steve, who kissed her temple and the three of them started eating their breakfast. Even though Chealsea wasn't pleased at the thought of her brother stalking one of her best friends, she did admit that Bobbi was a great influence to him. One more thing he didn't have to worry about anymore.

But that wasn't all.

After Steve had gone back to the Towel for the afternoon, she had locked herself in the bathroom, filled the tub with hot water and used her favorite bubble bath.

Perhaps the problem was that she had too much time to think.

So, back to the subject, Steve kept on getting missions, which were not only made him extremely busy but were also dangerous – as time went by, they became even messier than usual. He often came home with fresh bruises, cuts or broken ribs and Chealsea couldn't stop thinking of the possibility of things getting worse. Him not coming home ever was also an option, but she didn't dare to even consider it.

She inhaled the soft scent of green apple, opening her eyes to stare at the ceiling.

Forgetting to take the pills was one of the greatest mistakes she had ever done. She was unconditionally and truly in love with the super soldier, but having a baby with him was way too early.

But she couldn't suppress the small smile her lips formed when she touched her belly. Yes, creating her or him this early was a mistake, but keeping her and soon raising her was something different.

Steve said they were going to be fine, which she had hard time accepting. At some point, Chealsea thought that Cap had no idea what he had gotten into.

That's why they had each other. None of them knew.

She stroked over the soft skin under her palm.

Yes baby, she thought, it's gonna be okay.

Three massive knocks later she realized that the person at the other end wouldn't just give up and go away even though the last thing she wanted was a visitor. Who thought that morning sickness is not really just morning sickness?

When she opened the door her first instinct was to shut it. She had absolutely no time for her mother's bullshit. However, as always, Miranda came in without invitation.

"You must be proud of yourself," she said coolly. "Getting fucked by a man older than your grandfather and getting pregnant. I've always told your father you're one true bitch, looks like I was true."

"That's all?" Chealsea raised an eyebrow. "You came here, wasting your time, to tell me that I'm a bitch? Oh mother."

"I came here to help you." Miranda raised her head, making her look like a true—peacock. "You look like you need it."

The seer disgust in her voice tightened her chest— dear God.

Chealsea had the suspension that she probably came to check if the gossips were true. Not because of her well-being but the business.

"To help me," the redhead repeated. "Why would you help me?"

"Because I see what you did wrong and I think it's not too late to help you yet." She started fishing in her bag – a Prada one as she guessed –, then found a paper and handed it to her. "You're young enough to start a new life, without having your tiny… problem. I talked to Dr. William McFee and he offered to help you."

Even though she knew it wasn't a good idea, she took the paper. What it said was worse than what Chealsea expected: a doctor's name and—

—an appointment for an abortion.

A tiny problem.

Her baby.

"So you suggest this way to get a new life? Without my tiny problem."

Miranda sighed, "Not everyone was born to be a mother. I think you'd regret this, maybe not now, but later."

Her hands balled into fists. "So I can solve this problem?"

"Abortion? Are you fucking serious? You want me to kill my baby, your own grandchild, for what? You don't even make sense."

"You're in a wrong way."

"I don't need your help."

"Of course you need," her mother insisted. The more Chealsea disagreed, the more aggressive she became. "See what you've done."

"I think it's time to leave, mother."

"I came here to help you."

"By killing my baby?"

"You're making a mistake."

She didn't need anyone to tell her what to do, could pretty much handle this herself. "Get out!"

"I talked to James," she commented ignoring her order, "and he's willing to forgive you."

Chealsea began to chuckle hysterically, running a hand through her hair. "So he's willing to forgive me. Oh my god, how lucky girl I am."

"Yes, you are."

Is she being fucking serious?

"All I need to do is calling this doctor and tell him I want the abortion."

"Yes."

"Okay… Okay…" The redhead couldn't stop the laughter from escaping, the voice echoed in the small hall. Then, all of sudden, her expression changed and her small form started to shake. "Listen closely, will you? You come here again and I forget you're my mother. I push this," she showed her the crumpled paper "up so deeply in your ass I guarantee it'll choke you."

Her mother's cheeks flushed by anger. "How dare you—"

"How dare me? I should have done this, years ago." She could only laugh at the ridiculousness of this conversation. It had gone way too far. Miranda was one sick woman who hated her children – an abusive mother, who enjoyed hurting them. She was a monster, ruined her life for years and still wanted more of her. She deserved every word. "You're sick. You've never cared about us, expect of course Benjamin who ran after you like a fucking puppy dog and accepted your every wish. That's what you wanted us to do, too. The saddest thing is that you don't even realize how selfish, manipulating, disgusting bitch you have become. It's a shame you're my mother."

She was quicker than Chealsea expected and slapped her so hard her face turned toward the other direction. Nate chose this moment to come out of his room and when he noticed Miranda's look and his sister's red cheek, his expression darkened.

"Get the fuck out!"

Miranda showed her son her greatest betrayed expression, including teary eyes and all, but Nathaniel was too smart to believe her act. He wrapped his arms protectively around his sister, kissing her temple before giving his mother a cool look. What did she expect? That Nathaniel was going to protect her instead of his sister? She created their bond when she started to abuse them, no one could break it – especially not her.

"Nathaniel—"

"Don't Nathaniel me!" He let out a frustrated sigh. "Why are you here, anyways?

Miranda opened her mouth to speak but Chealsea was faster.

"She came here to offer me abortion, so James would forgive me."

Nathaniel's face reddened. "Are you fucking serious? Get out here before I change my mind and forget I have a mother."

Chealsea smirked slightly – she told her the same.

Miranda chuckled. "You will ask for my help soon."

"Don't expect that."

"You know how many life pregnancies ruined? Maybe not tomorrow, but in years, your Captain will find someone else, who's younger, cleverer and of course more beautiful than you. Not to mention that the weight you already started gaining won't go away that soon."

She is manipulating you, the voice in her head screamed, don't believe a word!

"Not to mention," Miranda continued, "that you're too weak to be a good mother. You'll fail as you always do and I'll be there to watch you."

Here we are again.

"So you think you know how to be a good mother?" She couldn't bear listening to her anymore – this was all she could take. "If you come back, if you ever dare to even approach me, my brother, my friends or my love I will beat the ever loving fuck out of you and now you leave!"

Miranda didn't move.

"I said leave," and pushed her towards the door. "Don't ever come back. Ever. Don't call me, don't write to me. I'm dead to you and you're dead to me."

"You'll regret this—"

"No," she shook her head and opened the door, "I'm sure I won't."

Chealsea shut the door behind her and heard her talking but refused to listen. She couldn't afford to let her mother hurt her even more.

As if nothing had happened, she went to the kitchen, but ended up leaning against the counter instead of drinking her juice.

Nathaniel followed her, watching her until she raised her head to meet his eyes.

"Hey," her brother murmured as tears began to roll down on her cheeks, "it's okay. She's gone for good. It's okay."

"Why does she hate me so much?" She pressed her forehead against his chest. "I've always tried to be enough, but—"

Nate cupped her cheeks. "She's sick and you know that."

"I just—," she hiccupped, "—can't stop thinking of what if she's right? I'm too young, too immature."

"I feel like I'm the only one who has been here," he chuckled softly. "Haven't you noticed how strong you were the whole time through? Babe, you can never be ready enough to have a baby. You have to learn. You have to stop this unless you want to ruin all your pregnancy with worrying. Future is in your hands. I can tell you that your child will be spoiled rotten. C'mon, Captain fucking America is his or her dad. You're the mother. I'm the uncle, which, if you ask me, is even cooler than having a superhero father. Not to mention the Avengers and Bobbi Goodboobs Morse."

"But what if—what if—"

"Sweetheart, you do exactly what Miranda wants you to do. Forget 'em, no what if's anymore. You can do this, I'm your brother, we grew up together and I know you better than anyone else in this planet. Besides, I think Miranda ran away with her tail between her legs. You're not that weak little girl who was afraid to play with other girl on the playground anymore."

Chealsea nodded. "I have to go."

"I thought we will sleep at your place tonight," said Steve as the elevator door opened and Chealsea literally jumped into his arms. "Cheals? Are you okay?"

"Yes," she whimpered, "I'm okay. That's why I'm here."

He frowned, "What?"

"You were right." She allowed him to push a few strands behind her ear before she began to speak again. "I want to move in with you. Finding a place, our place, would be great."

"How come you change your mind?" Steve tilted his head slightly. "Not like I'm not happy, but you were against it when I asked today."

"I know—my mother visited today and I realized— I don't have a real family just my brother and I feel like I don't belong anywhere." She stepped on her tiptoes to kiss his lips softly. "You're in love with me, I'm in love with you and we're going to have a baby. It's a family."

"It's a family," he agreed. "Let's move in together."

Chealsea beamed at him, "Okay."