Title: One Month

Summary: The days following Andy Darden's death and how it was handled. Mostly Kelly Severide, Matthew Casey but have all.

Disclaimers: The show is property of Dick Wolfe, and NBC. I don't own anything. Just borrowing the characters to practice my writing. Only thing I own is Season 1 DVDs.

Scenes in bold and Italic are from the show.

Chief Wallace Boden, stood in front of all the firefighters that got back from the last call, on the apparatus floor. He rerouted and stopped all calls that came to the firehouse because no one was in any shape to handle any more calls since they just lost a friend and colleague, Andrew Darden, part of the brotherhood of firefighters.

He looked around at the group. It was deathly quiet except for people crying and sniffling. Gabriela Dawson and Leslie Shay huddled together crying softly. Kelly Severide standing next to his roommate, pain etched on his face at losing his childhood friend. Matthew Casey, lost in a world all his own, a shell-shocked expression on his face, after seeing his friend Andy engulfed in the flames that killed him.

"Lets go to the conference room and talk. I rerouted all the calls.." Chief Boden said, heading inside the firehouse. Everyone headed to the conference room and found a seat. Matthew Casey, found a lone chair in the corner and didn't want anyone in his space for the moment. Kelly, Leslie, and Gabby made sure to be together, as everyone sat down to hear what the Chief had to say.

Chief Wallace Boden stood in front of his firefighters looking around the room. A heavy silence surrounding the whole team, grief ever present on the faces surrounding him. "Tomorrow there will be grief counselors here to talk if you need them. No shame in talking to someone. I'm, here the Lieutenants are here. You're not alone. We lost part of ourselves today that we will never have back. Cherish the memories and the love. We lost a friend and brother." Chief Boden said, heading for his office.

Matt, rushed out of the room he needed to be alone. He headed to the locker room, his back against the wall, staring off into his own world of torment and despair brought on by his unspeakable grief. He slid down the wall to sit on the cold hard floor. Matt, leans forward as he draws his knees up to his chest, his arms gripping his legs. He thought back to the last moments of Andy's life and maybe he could have stopped him somehow.

Flashback

Darden and Casey, climbed up the ladder on the truck and approached the Attic window of the burning house. They both stopped at the window, Andy ready to break the window with the iron claw he had. "Severide, do we have a vent?" Casey called out into the Mic. To late, the window broken as Casey says "Darden, Wait!"

Darden, gives a thumb up and says, "We're good!" Severide, calls out "Casey, there is no vent!" "Darden, back out!" Casey yells but is to late as his friend is already through the window. The fire is venting getting ready to find oxygen to keep on burning. Severide is downstairs and yells "Get down!" as the fire explodes up and out. Severide is injured as he hits the floor from the powerful rush of flame, and grunts. "DARDEN!" Casey shouts from the ladder. Seeing the fire engulf his friend in the flames and hearing him scream as he reached toward, Casey. As the flames rushed toward the window as Casey has to lean low. Casey, is in shock and doesn't move off of the ladder after seeing his friend perish in the flames right in front of him and there was nothing he could have done.

End Flashback

I should have stopped him. It's my fault. I should have tried harder. Andy, died because of my mistakes. Casey thought as Andy's last scream was echoing in his mind. He looked up as he felt a hand on his right shoulder and looked into the kind caring eyes of Chief Boden, whom was crouched down in front of him, Kelly Severide standing behind him.

"Hey Casey are you okay?" Chief Boden asked in concern for his friend. Kelly Severide, standing behind the Chief took in the appearance of his friend which wasn't good, he just knew Casey was going to say he was fine, which anyone could tell he wasn't by looking at him. Kelly could bet he didn't look much better either because he was in pain from the injury and losing his childhood friend. Andy, why did you have to die? Why didn't you listen? Why did Casey send you through that window? Severide is pulled from his thoughts as Casey answers. "I'm, fine Chief."

Chief Boden, gets back to his feet and gives Casey a hand up. "I need to talk to you both." Chief says as he heads to his office. Both of the Lieutenants followed him without question. They enter the office as the Chief takes a seat behind his desk. Chief Boden, looks at them both, taking in their appearance. Matt, still looked shell-shocked and still wasn't saying much. Kelly, a deep grief is coming from him as well as the beginning of anger at the situation.

Casey, looks at the floor as he blinks back tears as the numbness is slowly starting to fade and he whispers, "Andy Why?" Severide puts his left arm around Casey to give him some comfort. It didn't go unnoticed by Chief Boden. "I was thinking about who is going to talk to Andy's family. You both can tell Heather, together and I'll tell his parents."

Both Lieutenants nodded their heads and headed for the locker room, and got out of their gear and showered and put on dark jeans and their Lieutenant shirts since they were still on the job. A part of the job no one liked or wanted. Boden, Severide, and Casey left the firehouse at the same time. Matt, rode with Kelly since he was lost inside of himself with no escape from the images in his mind.

Kelly, looked at Matt out of the corner of his eye. He was worried about him. He put his right hand on Matt's shoulder for comfort. Matt, turned from looking out the window toward Kelly. A lost expression on his face. The Darden house comes into view and Severide, comes to a stop in front of the house. Hating having to tell Heather that Andy was dead.

Matthew Casey, and Kelly Severide get out of the car and both head up the walkway.

Casey, knocks on the door and it opens. Heather, is there looking at them both knowing something bad has happened but not wanting to hear it. They all step inside the house and shut the front door. Heather, tells Ben and Griffen to go upstairs and play. They all sit down and Heather, looks at the two men so much part of her husband's life like brothers.

"Heather, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this but Andy, died today in a fire. Nothing anyone could have done." Matt Casey says, looking at Heather. "No! No! It is your fault he died! If you hadn't wanted to be a firefighter he would still be here!" Heather shouts out at Kelly. Kelly, takes a step back in shock part of him does hold himself responsible for Andy's death.

"Heather…It's Matt's fault for sending him through that window!" Kelly yells back. Kelly's words are like a blow and they catch Matthew off guard. Cutting deep into his soul a hurt that might never heal if not fixed soon. "Please go both of you." Heather says. Both the men leave. Matthew, gets in the passenger seat as Kelly gets into the driver's side and slams the door and races off into the night.

CF~~~~~~~~~~~CF

Back at the firehouse everyone is still gathered together not wanting to leave. Severide, goes over to Shay and Dawson to get away from Matt and his anger. Casey, goes over to Severide a pleading look on his face. "Kelly, tell me you didn't mean what you said over at the Darden's." Matthew says, looking at Kelly. "I meant every word of it! It's your damn fault that you got my best friend killed by sending him through that window! Your fault!" Kelly yells, leaving the room as he pushes past Matt almost knocking him over.

Casey, looks after his friend in shock and sinks down to sit on the sofa as silent tears fall down his face. His own words to himself thrown in his face by his friend whom is like a brother to him. Who else thought it was his fault? Everyone around the room is in shock at the outburst at what happened. Shay, follows Kelly to see what was going on. Not liking what is happening.

Gabby, is rubbing Matt's back as he cries. His team around him just to be there for him. To give him some comfort in this trying situation of grief. Gabriela, goes to the sink to get a glass of water for Casey. She calls Lakeshore hospital and asks for Hallie. "Hello?" Hallie says into the telephone. "Hey, Hallie make sure Matt isn't alone tonight. Andy Darden died today. Before it gets better it just may get worse." Gabby says, into the phone. "Thank you for the heads up." Hallie says, hanging up the phone and getting back to work.

Gabby, goes back over to Matt and hands him the water. "Thanks." Matt says, taking a sip of the water and setting it down. Everyone is quiet and not saying anything, lost in their own heads for the moment. Matt, gets up and leaves the room wanting to go for a walk to be alone.

CF~~~~~~~~~~~CF

"Kelly, what the hell!" Leslie says following her friend. "Leave me alone! None of your business!" Kelly yells, kicking at a folding chair at the squad table. "No I'm, not going to leave you alone! Yes it is my business when you said that in front of everyone! It wasn't Casey's fault or your fault. Andy, died today and it hurts. I get that." Leslie

Said, taking a chair and straddling it backwards, arms crossed over the top. Kelly, just glares at Leslie and she just looks right back.

Matthew Casey, gathered his things in his bag to head home and to be alone. To get away for everything but it is hard to get away when he keeps seeing his friend die right in front of him and he couldn't do anything about it. When someone else besides himself voices that it was also his fault. Truth or not it hurts to face that. He sees the picture of the three of them together as he shuts his locker. Tears fall again. He turns and heads out toward the apparatus floor and hears the voices of, Kelly and Leslie talking. He stops and as he sees, Kelly and Leslie at the squad table.

Andy, should be here instead of me. I should have been the one to go through that window. Severide wouldn't miss me. My fault. Casey thought, as he hears what Kelly says next to Leslie. "I lost a brother and a friend today after another one sends him in!"

"Knock it off, Kelly. No ones fault. You're being childish. Instead of wanting to fight you both should stick together." Leslie says, to Kelly.

Matt, steps out needing to get away from this just to go home, but he has to go pass the squad table and see his friend who is like a brother. Leslie, sees Matt. "Hey Casey. Where are you going?" Matt looks up hearing Leslie speaking to him. "I'm, going home." Matt says, soon able to get away, feeling the glare from Severide on him. "If you need anything just give a call." Leslie says to Matt.

Matt nods his head, taking another step closer to the outside as, Kelly speaks, "How does it feel when it is your fault when a "brother" dies." Matt, looks to the ground tears falling down his face, his hands curl in fists and slowly he turns around and gives Severide one of his famous glares, where Severide would know that if he pressed anymore that he would go off and usually when he did that he won.

The two just stared at one another. Kelly Severide, looking weary and angry and Matthew Casey, emotional with grief and loss at losing a friend and "brother". Casey, was in no mood to deal with, Severide anymore. He turns around wanting to head for his truck. "It's your fault." Severide says. "Walk away, Matt." a voice seems to say. Casey, pales slightly as he looks around for the voice. "Andy?" he whispers.

Leslie, goes up to Matt and touches his arm. "Are you okay?" "No, I'm not okay. I don't think I'll ever be okay again." Matt whispers, finally able to leave the firehouse and head for his truck to go home.

CF~~~~~~~~~CF

At Kelly and Leslie's apartment later that night. Kelly, is dreaming and his sleep is not restful and he is in pain from his injury. He is tossing and turning. "Quit being so angry and blaming others, Kelly." as a voice seems to whisper. Kelly, sits upright in bed. He draws his legs up to his chest and wraps his arms around them as he cries for the loss of his friend that was like a brother to him. He doesn't get why Heather blames him for Andy, dying. He is angry, at Andy for dying and leaving him.

Leslie, hears Kelly and goes to him and hugs him to her as he is sobbing, finally able to let go, away from everyone else. She whispers soothing words to him, to comfort. Kelly, just clings to, Leslie, as one would hold on to a life raft for dear life. He is drowning in his emotions and he needs help to stay afloat. Leslie, is that person to help him. Finally, Kelly calms after a long while. Leslie, hands him a glass of water and some Ibuprofen.

She has seen him rub his shoulder earlier, clearly in pain. Kelly, swallows the pills. He is glad that, Leslie is in his life and his friend. He lays back down as his room-mate covers him back up. She rubs his back in soothing circles for a long time. To help him fall asleep after such a sad day. His eyes get heavier and heavier and finally close. Hopefully for a restful sleep.

CF~~~~~~~~~CF

Matthew Casey, parks his truck close to his house he is rebuilding. About a week ago he and his long time fiancée decided to break it off for awhile since they weren't looking toward the same idea of a future together. He happened to find this house for himself and he likes a fixer upper. Creating things with his hands by his, blood, sweat and tears. He looks at the clock to see the time. He goes upstairs and changes clothes and goes to work around the house. He doesn't want to stop to think. He just wants to keep his mind off of what happened today. He knows he won't be able to sleep without nightmares.

Time gets away from him as he hears a knock at the door. Matt, opens the door and he smiles. "Hey, come on in, Hallie." She steps into the house. Hallie, is not at all surprised that, Matt is still up. "Hey, Matt. I heard what happened. I'm so sorry." Hallie says as she looks at Matt and sees sadness and despair on his face.

Matt, just stops at hearing her kind words and pauses as he thinks of, Darden and tears start to fall down his face. Hallie, hugs, Matt to herself as he cries. He tightens his hold, soft sobs shaking him as he remembers his friend whom died that day or yesterday since it is very late.

Hallie, holds him for the longest time allowing him to grieve for, Andy Darden, a true friend, a brother. Later Hallie, leads Matt up to his room to get him ready for bed so he could at least sleep for a few hours. Matt, is sitting on the bed in a daze as Hallie, finds him some pajama bottoms and a firehouse t-shirt to wear. She hands the outfit to Matt as she leaves the room so he can change.

"Hey, Matt are you dressed?" Hallie asked knocking on the door a few moments later. "Yeah." He answers, as Hallie steps back in the room. She lowers the covers on the bed and gets, Matt to lay down under the covers. She slides her shoes off and lays behind, Matt spooning him and wraps her left arm around him.

"Try to sleep, Matt. I'm, here." Hallie says. Matt, doesn't say anything as his eyes close, so very tired from the long day. Exhaustion over takes him as his body just shuts down at long last. For now all is peaceful. Hallie, stays with, Matt for a few moments to make sure he is in fact asleep.

Hallie, gets up and goes back downstairs to tidy up a little bit and do what little dishes, Matt had in the sink. She turns out the lights and heads back up to the bedroom and lays back down with, Matt. She wants to get some sleep also before the nightmares come for, Matt.

Three hours later, Matt is tossing and turning as the nightmares hit full force. An onslaught of images going through Matt's mind of the last fire call. He sees, Andy and calls out; "Darden, Wait!" and "Darden, back Out!" He still can't help his friend. There is nothing he can do but watch in horror. The flames rush closer and closer, engulfing his friend in his final moments as he reaches toward, Casey and screams. "DARDEN! NO!" It is his fault that his friend is dead. He should be the one that died. He is to blame. He sees, Severide glaring at him in contempt blaming him for the death of a 'brother." "IT'S YOUR FAULT HE DIED!" Severide shouts.

Matt wakes screaming, he feels, Hallie's arms come around him, holding him, saying words of comfort he can't yet understand. He is yelling; "IT'S MY FAULT, IT'S MY FAULT, ANDY DIED! HE SHOULD BE HERE NOT ME! I'M, TO BLAME!" Matt, is sobbing, not understanding why his friend had to die.

Finally he quiets, Hallie holding him, tears silently falling from them both. "Are you okay?" Hallie asked, still holding, Matt rubbing his back. "I, won't be okay for awhile." he whispers. "Try to sleep." Hallie says, still rubbing his back. "I don't know if I can." Matt, lays back down, Hallie beside him, holding him.

He closes his eyes but he keeps seeing his friend in his last moments. Matt, gets up and heads to the bathroom to get a shower and to shave. Hallie, just stares after him worried. She gets up and heads downstairs to make some breakfast for them both, hoping that the refrigerator is at least stocked with the basics.