Ch. 21

In between takes

~O~

Hyacinth, the Minister of Spring, confides in Redleaf, The Minister of Autumn:

Hyacinth: When we're racing through the Autumn Forest and we see the snow for the first time I'm going to use that opportunity to embrace the queen. I'll show her how vulnerable I can be. That I've embraced my feminine side..

Redleaf: Why?

Hyacinth: To convince her that I am a better mate than Mr. Perfect, that annoying Lord of Winter.

Redleaf (sighs): Oh give it up, Hyacinth. Queen Clarion has made her choice and it's not you. It will never be you. Why do you keep torturing yourself like this, move on.

Hyacinth: NEVER! I'll open her eyes that I'm a kinder, gentler mate. Better suited than that one winged snowball.

Redleaf: It's never going to work. And the queen doesn't want someone vulnerable and in touch with his feminine side, she wants a man who has fully embraced his manhood and who is her equal in every way. Oh, and screaming like a girl doesn't help.

Hyacinth (shrieking like a girl): I do not scream like a girl! (In a deeper voice) Ahem, I mean, I do not scream like a girl.

Redleaf (muffles his amusement): Whatever you say.

Hyacinth: Hmph. Shows what you know. She'll divorce that Popsicle so fast he won't know what hit him.

Redleaf: Try this and Milori will punch you so hard you won't know what hit you.

Hyacinth: I'm not afraid of Mr. Snow Blower.

Redleaf: Very well, but don't say I didn't warn you.

~O~

Take 1

Queen Clarion and Tinker Bell hasten through the Autumn Forest to find out why it has begun snowing beyond the Winter Woods. They are joined by the Ministers of Autumn, Summer and Spring.

Hyacinth the Minister of Spring discounts the idea that the seasons are out of balance, but immediately sees snow in the fall season.

Hyacinth (Screaming like a little girl): Snow!

Hyacinth tries to use this opportunity to grab hold of Queen Clarion for comfort. Instead he grabs Sunflower, the Minister of Summer. She responds by punching his lights out.

~O~

Hyacinth spends a half hour in the makeup chair so the black eye Sunflower gave him can be covered up.

~O~

Take 2

Hyacinth screams (again like a little girl) when he sees snow. This time he does manage to grab hold of Queen Clarion for comfort in a brazen attempt to come between her and Lord Milori. Clarion screams for Hyacinth to let her go. When he doesn't, Milori shows up. Hyacinth takes off at the very sight of him. Milori follows on his owl, chasing him around Pixie Hollow for the better part of an hour.

Director Peggy Holmes: CUT! CUT! CUT! Why won't that idiot minister learn?

~O~

Hyacinth spends another half hour in the makeup chair getting the other black eye covered up.

Redleaf visits him.

Redleaf: I don't want to say I told you so, but 'I told you so.'

Hyacinth: Stupid Lord of Winter on his stupid owl.

Redleaf: Yes, well I can see you give him a good thrashing. Did he beg for mercy when you kept bashing your face into his fist?

Hyacinth: Oh shut up.

~O~

Tink and her friends try to overturn the stuck snowmaker.

Take 1

The snowmaker is about to tip over when it launches high in the air. The crane lifting it so as to give the impression that the fairies are doing it themselves accidentally picks it up too high.

Tinker Bell: Whoa! I should have seen that coming.

Vidia: Yeah, you should have.

Tinker Bell: Hey, what's that supposed to mean?

Vidia: You're the tinker fairy, remember? You're supposed to know these things.

Tinker Bell fumes.

~O~

Take 2

The snowmaker tips over (with an assist from the crane). Vidia gets her feathers caught in the wheel and barely pulls them loose.

Vidia: HEY! Wha...?

Tinker Bell whistles "innocently."

~O~

The snow tornado

Take 1

With the snowmaker now unjammed it seems that the whirling snow tornado will subside on its own. Instead it grows threatening the warm seasons.

Suddenly numerous large vehicles arrive all arrayed with various equipment, cameras and radar dishes. One is a van with red "OU" markings on its doors. Out steps an older looking gentleman, rather thin and with graying hair.

He introduces himself as Dr. Howard Bluestein, Professor of Meteorology from the University of Oklahoma and tornado chaser. Several young people in their late teens or early twenties are quickly setting up equipment around the snow tornado. They are students from his class.

Professor Howard Bluestein (addressing students): Okay, set up over here and over there. I want to get all relevant data before it dissipates.

Director Peggy Holmes: What are you doing here? This is a movie set.

Professor Howard Bluestein: Movie set?

Directory Peggy Holmes: Yes. A movie set. We need you and these other vehicles to leave immediately.

Professor Howard Bluestein: As soon as we record information on this rare snow tornado. We're hoping this data will inform us on tornado Genesis. The forces that create these kinds of phenomenon.

Director Peggy Holmes (points to Queen Elsa): That's what is causing this snow tornado. That and about ten fast flying fairies. It's all just magic.

Professor Howard Bluestein (Incredulous): Wait, are you telling me this is nothing more than a magical girl and some Hollywood special effects?

Director Peggy Holmes: Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying.

Professor Howard Bluestein (looking dejected): Okay, everyone, load up. We're going back to Oklahoma.

Student1: Aw, man! And I just learned how to speak British.

Director Peggy Holmes: Okay, let's start again from the top.

~O~

Take 2

With the snowmaker now unjammed it seems that the whirling snow tornado will subside on its own. Instead it grows threatening the warm seasons.

Moments later several vans marked with National Severe Storms Laboratory in Norman, Oklahoma arrive.

Man: Hi, were storm chasers here to record data on this snow tornado. Where can we set up?

Director Peggy Holmes: That's it! I give up. Someone call lunch.

Assistant Director: LUNCH!

Director Peggy Holmes: That's lunch, people.

With apologies to Dr. Howard Bluestein, Professor of Meteorology at the University of Oklahoma