Hello to any random readers! This is my second Fanfiction! I'm a newbie so if you see any spelling/grammatical errors (or just any errors at all) please don't hesitate to call me out on them!

I've always been a big fan of Durarara! and the Shizaya pairing. If anyone reads this and thinks the characterization is horrendous, or that this Fic is just awful in general, tell me that as well.

I hope that it's not so terrible your eyes bleed and you go into a coma from banging your head on a desk.

Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!

Walk of Shame

In which Izaya has to do the awkward 'walk of shame' after a tryst with a certain brutish bartender, and runs into every individual he was trying to avoid. Why did he fail to blend in at the most inconvenient times?

Izaya woke up in the morning feeling well-rested and extremely satisfied. It had been a long time since he had slept with someone who had been attentive to his needs and actually pleasured him. It took him a moment to stop mulling over how very much he loved the human that had screwed him, and realize that it had actually been a certain blonde haired beast who had taken him.

This realization made him bolt up in bed, which was a mistake, considering he hadn't expected for his ass to spasm in pain. He gave out a agonizing yelp. "What the hell..." Izaya tried to inch off of the rather solid bed. However every move he made fuelled the pain, and he eventually had to stop merely to gather himself.

Shizuo really didn't go easy last night.

The sex had been much like there fights. Izaya had blatantly taunted him, Shizuo had to chase Izaya to actually get something out of him, and the only thing that had made him actually bend over and take it was force. Of course it wasn't rape. Izaya had been very consensual after Shizuo had nibbled on his ear lobe and shoved his tongue in his mouth.

However with no afterglow to bask in, and no exhaustion to keep him lying in the bed, (Because honestly, he usually hightailed it out of there whenever he slept with anyone.) he was beginning to regret this decision immensely. If he hadn't been so spent last night, he would have ended their little game like he usually did, by running far away.

He heard a rough groan next to him as he jostled in the sheets, and he was left gawking at what he saw.

Shizuo, completely unclothed and with an arm lazily extended that was just grazing Izaya's hip. He looked gentle in his slumber, and Izaya was sure that he only ever wore such a placid expression when he was sleeping and unbothered with the stress he had to deal with daily.

Shizuo shifted, and his eyes slowly opened. Izaya froze, and could only continue to stare dumbly, for once in his life, rendered silent by the sheer oddness of this seemingly unbelievable scenario. It took Shizuo longer to wake up then Izaya, and he grumbled and groaned in perturbation at the sun that was peaking in through his partially opened blinds. Obviously, he wasn't a morning person.

Izaya himself loved waking up in the mornings and bouncing about. It was fun to observe his wonderful humans when they were cranky and drowsy, especially since they seemed so much more antagonistic towards others and their behaviour fluctuated drastically.

It seemed he would have no chance to watch them from one of his favourite haunts today. He would have to hurry home as fast as he could so that no one could be witness to his dishevelled state. He didn't have to look in a mirror to know that he had that 'Just fucked' look. Usually he would be meticulously groomed, with brushed hair and clean, ironed clothing. He couldn't risk being seen in this state. He didn't want his precious humans to know that he had certain...needs like they did. He wished he could at least shower so he wouldn't look so scruffy, but he wouldn't demean himself by requesting anything from the blonde.

It was a little illogical and childish, but he didn't want to shower in the same place as Shizuo anyways. He might get protozoan cooties.

"What the hell..." Shizuo repeated the words Izaya had not long said in a murmur. His voice was even rougher than usual, and it reminded Izaya of some of the words he had said last night, in that tone. 'Don't you dare cum until I tell you flea! You think you're so tough and above everyone, and here you are grovelling and drooling for my cock!' "IZAYA!" Shizuo all but rolled off of the bed in shock. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"

Izaya tried not to grimace as the bed bounced at the loss, making his body ache all over. "I know you're thick, Shizu-chan. But I didn't know you had such a poor memory. And you don't even suffer from short term memory loss..."

Shizuo growled low in his throat, like an animal. "Why are you here!?"

Izaya rolled his eyes impatiently. "I'm not deeming you with an answer. For once observe your surroundings and think."

Shizuo twitched in annoyance, but did as Izaya instructed. First he noticed his state of undress, and was a lot more unabashed than Izaya had thought he would be. Then Shizuo looked him up and down, his facial expressions varying greatly. From shock, to revulsion (and Izaya pouted at this, because he knew he was a beautiful specimen) disbelief, and finally, a sick look of victory. "I always knew I'd rut into you one day. I didn't expect to wake up with you though. Didn't you want to leave?"

Izaya frowned. For once Shizuo was the one taunting him. "I only just woke up, actually. I was hoping to escape without having to ponder on the revolting act I committed with you last night. You took advantage of me."

Shizuo snorted in derision. "You weren't complaining at all last night, you filth."

Izaya flushed. That was true, but he didn't want to admit that even to himself. "I'm going to leave now. And you will never speak of this incident to anyone, else it will be the last thing you do. Capisce Shizu-chan?"

"Like I'd want to brag about doing that with you," Shizuo wrinkled his nose in disgust. "I won't mention it, although it would be funny to see some reactions."

Izaya thrust his own nose in the air in a dignified manner. "Turn around whilst I get dressed. A beast like you shouldn't have the right to gaze upon my gorgeous body."

"You're such a vain bastard." Shizuo said. "And you have no right to be. In fact..." Shizuo gave a wide smirk. "I think you're body is rather feminine."

Izaya choked on his own spit, before dangerously saying, "What!?"

Shizuo gave a rumbling chuckle. "Exactly what I just said. You're feminine. That coat you wear makes you look much more built that you really are. You're so slim and hairless. Not to mention how soft your skin is. Do you shave and use lotions?"

"I don't shave, nor do I use lotions." Izaya hissed in indignation. Okay, that was a little bit of a lie. Izaya did use lotions and moisturizes to keep his skin healthy and abrasion free. But he wouldn't feel guilty about denying that. Izaya was a liar. The hairlessness though, that was just natural for him.

"Sure, sure..." Shizuo said this patronizingly. "Whatever you say...I don't know why I should turn around though. You choose now to have a sense of propriety? You're such a girl." Izaya glared at him venomously until Shizuo relented and turned his back. He heaved a sarcastic sigh. "I suppose it's to be expected from such a cowardly man. You've never been able to face the consequences of your actions, have you?"

Izaya was so not in the mood for verbal sparring today, so he ignored the comment and instead looked for his clothes. They were littered about the cramped room. And when Izaya reached down (trying not to give an audible yelp, although Shizuo's short laugh indicated he had clearly heard) he noticed that his clothes were torn. They were so tarnished, that even trying to put them on would be a lost cause. Izaya then remembered that Shizuo had ripped them off last night. He gritted his teeth in annoyance. Even his boxers were in pieces! And his much loved coat...at least he had multiple pairs of it.

But now what to do? He couldn't exactly walk home naked. Even if he was as swift as usual, there wasn't a complete guarantee he could get home without being detected. He could just picture a photo of himself being posted online. And Namie would be clacking away on a document when he came home. He did relish in irritating her, but he would never walk around naked in front of her. There was only one option, and swallowing his pride was almost physically painful. "Shizu-chan..." He got out from between his clenched teeth. "You destroyed my clothes last night in your brutish haste."

Shizuo turned back around and looked at the destroyed clothes. He shrugged uncaringly. "So? You have enough cash to purchase some new clothes."

"That's not it..." Izaya continued. Man, Shizuo could be such a dunce. "I can't exactly walk home bare."

Shizuo shrugged once more. "You'll just have too. None of my clothes will fit you. I'm taller and broader...Although the image of you swimming in one of my blouses is cute."

"Shut up." Izaya said shortly. "I don't care if the clothes are ill-fitting. It's better than wearing nothing. I can't afford to be caught waltzing about naked. It would damage my reputation."

"I don't give a damn about your fucking reputation." Shizuo grouched. "Now fuck off and get out of my apartment. You're pissing me off."

"Oh that's new..." Izaya said sardonically. "Seriously Shizu-chan, if you lend me a shirt then I promise not to pester you at all for a week."

I might not be walking properly until then, anyways.

He kept that last thought to himself; he didn't want Shizuo becoming even smugger.

Shizuo mulled over the offer. It was a good idea. One flea-free week, it would definitely be like a vacation. But he did find the image of a naked Izaya scurrying in the streets amusing. "Fine," He decided. "I'll give you some clothes to wear." He strode forward and rifled through his rickety and cracked closet. He didn't own many outfits, so he couldn't really be selective. He tossed a blouse to Izaya.

Izaya caught it and gazed at it critically, he tutted. "Shizu-chan, this is one of your bartender tops. I can't wear this!"

"You're going to have to," Shizuo informed with a little sadism. "Cause' that's all I have. Some of us can't afford to have more than a few outfits. Besides, Kasuka brought those for me."

Izaya grimaced and buttoned it up. It basically dwarfed him, and it made him look smaller. What Shizuo said was true. The usual clothes he dressed in made him look much sturdier. It was embarrassing to be slight.

It's better than nothing...

Izaya reminded. He held out his hands expectantly. Shizuo didn't move. "Shizu-chan, the trousers?" He prompted. He wiggled his ringed fingers.

Shizuo chortled somewhat darkly. "If you think back, you bloodsucking flea, you'll remember that I only agreed to lending you a shirt. You didn't ask for anything else."

Izaya gaped stupidly. "Give me pants now!"

"You're in no position to be demanding anything. You get what you get and that's the end of it. The shirt goes to just above your knees anyway."

"But – but –"Izaya stuttered. "I'm not wearing any underwear!"

"Then you best walk slowly." Shizuo said cruelly. "Make sure you stick to the back alleys. It's the weekend and its midday. They'll be a lot of people in Ikebukuro. Maybe a few cringe worthy moments will ensure you stay away a little longer than a week."

"You complete asshole!" Izaya exclaimed in outrage.

"Maybe I should screw you more often. You're so much more entertaining like this. How does it feel to be riled up deliberately?"

"It sucks." Izaya jutted out his bottom lip. "I won't do it ever again to you."

"I highly doubt that. You're just trying to manipulate me into giving you pants. Your mind games won't work on me."

"Shizuo," Izaya said seriously. Shizuo blanched. It was the first time the flea had addressed him with any respect. "I'd really appreciate it if you'd give me some pants."

"What's the magic world?"

Izaya bristled. "Please." He managed to sound polite.

"Hm..." Shizuo thought about it. "No." It was time the flea learnt a little humility.

Izaya went to reach for a knife that was absent. "Shizuo, I swear –"

"You shouldn't do that, it's a bad habit." Shizuo's grin stretched wider. No wonder the flea liked messing with people, it was fun. "Now," The grin fell and was replaced with a scowl. "Get out of my apartment. I'm late for work and I don't want to walk with you."

"You know people will assume you and I...did it, right?" Izaya pointed out desperately. "It's obvious this shirt is yours!"

"It would be even more obvious with the pants."

"Shizu-chan –" Shizuo knew that the flea could argue until he lost his voice, so he stalked forward, grabbed him by the collar of the borrowed shirt, hauled him up, and unceremoniously dumped him in the hallway.

"Have a nice day!" He slammed the door.

Izaya banged on it in frustration for a good ten minutes, before deciding to leave. Shizuo would just cause a scene if he kept bothering him. The only option he had was to travel through the streets undetected. He couldn't call Namie to pick him up in her car, because his mobile had been crushed last night. (It kept buzzing whilst Shizuo was kissing him.) He had a lot more of the devices, but he hadn't been carrying a spare with him. His knife was also bent out of shape. He'd tried to stab Shizuo and the taller man had grabbed it and destroyed it with little effort.

I'd best stop prolonging the inevitable and just get going. There's no point sitting on the ground and getting worked up.

Izaya got to his feet and ran down the aged stairs that creaked under his weight. Immediately he noticed that the shirt rode up if he moved too fast, and that he had to grip the ends of it to keep it from displaying his naked nether regions.

Once he was on the street, he slinked into the closest ally. It smelt like garbage and there was a few rats scurrying about, but it was devoid of human life. Izaya had to tip-toe through the revolting garbage, as he had been thrown out of Shizuo's apartment without being able to even put on his shoes. He'd hollered for them, but the groaning of the pipes signified Shizuo was in the shower and no doubt was either unable to hear him, or simply didn't care.

It was probably the former.

Izaya shuddered as he jumped over a dirty puddle that smelt suspiciously like urine. He moved through the alley swiftly and silently, but eventually it narrowed out to an end and Izaya would have to run across the street to another alley adjacent. There was cars zipping over the crossing, but luckily, there weren't many people around.

He managed to bolt through the traffic without truly being scrutinized. The citizens only saw a white blob with dark hair before he was streaking (pun not intended) through the next ally.

The next part of his trip was harder, because it was unavoidable that he enter into the fray of humans. It was ironic that he took such pleasure in tormenting them and now had to hide from them. Taking a deep breath to steel himself, he stepped onto the clean pavement.

One step, two step, three step, four step, five step, six step, seven step, eight step -

"Is that Izaya Orihara?" The question came from a teen that Izaya could not really identify. She was failing at whispering softly to her friend. "What is he wearing?"

"Is it a fashion statement?" Another person, this one a middle-aged man, said soon thereafter. "Kids these days..."

"That can't be Izaya Orihara...it must just be a lookalike. There's no way Izaya Orihara would walk around in just a shirt."

Izaya walked as quickly as he could manage wearing the large shirt. He kept his eyes on the ground as he did so. God, this was humiliating. At least he hadn't –

"Izaya?"

Damn it.

Izaya looked up into the eyes of a certain tall, beanie wearing man. "Dotachin. Been a while."

Kadota didn't respond. He was too busy looking at Izaya as if he were an alien. "What are you wearing?"

"A shirt...doesn't it look splendid?" Izaya tried to say with his usual faultless confidence. "I thought I'd let my lovely humans get a glimpse of my flesh."

"Right..." Kadota looked awkward. No doubt he was trying to think of a way to end the conversation. "Well, I had better –"

"Dotachin! Hurry up already! Russia Sushi is waiting!" Erika popped her head out of Saburo's stationary van. "Hungry, hungry!" She sang. It took her all of two seconds to notice Izaya, and when she did, her eyes bugged. She slammed open the vans door and near tripped over her long dark dress in her haste to get to Izaya. "Izaya!" Her brown eyes were alight with interest. She stopped before him and looked him up and down. She seemed to be in deep thought. Then, she gave a high pitched squeal that made Izaya's ears hurt. "What you're wearing, it's, it's, Shizuo's!"

Izaya almost cringed. "I don't know what you're insinuating, but I would never clothe myself in anything that Shizu-chan wears."

Erika gave him a devious look. "But you are wearing his shirt!" She leant forward close to the hem line, and inhaled deeply. She winked. "It even smells like cigarette smoke and cologne! And you don't smoke, and that cologne is way too manly for you!"

Izaya tried not to show his offense. What was with people hurting his manly pride today? "You caught me..." Izaya compromised, throwing his arms out to the side. "I was fighting with Shizu-chan and he accidently tore my clothes. He was so embarrassed he tossed me his shirt and ran away."

"Well where is he?" Erika questioned. "He must be running around shirtless...but why do you look so untidy? And you smell like...like sex!"

Izaya couldn't stop himself from flushing pink this time. Why did Erika have to be so observant and persistent? He was used to her theorizing and pestering...but he really didn't want her to find out about the sex session that occurred yesterday evening. That would just fuel her delusions and fantasises.

Because honestly, there was no way he'd ever wear a schoolgirl outfit for Shizu-chan, or a collar. She was into creative fiction, very creative.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Izaya said in a dignified manner.

Erika screamed again. "It's true, isn't it!? You even have hickeys! They're everywhere."

"I have what?" Izaya tried to look down his neck, and noticed the multiple red and purple marks. They were extremely noticeable, and Shizuo hadn't thought to tell him. And because the shirt was too large for him, it was impossible for him to hide them.

"That's just like him, to mark his innocent uke –" Kadota snorted here. "– With marks to symbolize you belong to him. It's very animalistic and possessive. Just like Shizuo!"

Izaya just wished he'd looked in a mirror. He was attracting lots of attention now, especially because of Erika's incessant squeals. "Can you just be quiet?" Izaya hissed urgently, giving up the pretence. She was never going to believe him anyways.

Kadota's eyes widened and he stepped back. "So that actually...well damn."

Izaya scowled.

"You admit it?" Erika cheered, doing her own version of a happy dance. "I knew it was true! It wasn't all just make-believe or fujoshi pratter!"

"Can you just let me leave now?" Izaya asked desperately.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kadota asked, in his typical brotherly manner. "We can give you a ride home..."

"Thank you." Izaya bowed appreciatively. Kadota nearly fainted. If Shizuo screwed Izaya more often, would he be a better outstanding citizen?

"Great, you can tell me all the details..." Erika resembled a crazed woman; blood was dribbling out of her nose.

She grabbed Izaya's hand and dragged him to the van. She knocked on the sliding door and Walker shouted: "What's the password!?"

"Otaku is a lifestyle!"

The door opened, and she leaped in, dragging Izaya with her.

"Hey, you brought Izaya Orihara..." Walker observed.

Izaya deadpanned. This boy was so dopey and spacey; he and Erika were perfect for each other.

"I didn't say we could have another passenger." Saburo grumbled. "There are already two freaks aboard."

"Hey!" Erika and Walker objected in synchronization.

"We're just giving him a ride to his apartment in Shinjuku." Kadota told him.

"I'm not a taxi service..." Saburo grumbled once more to himself as he reversed out of the curb.

"To Russia Sushi!" Erika cried.

"What?" Izaya said. "I thought you were dropping me home."

"Yeah, yeah, we will." Saburo replied. "After we eat, I'm starving."

Izaya sighed. He supposed he'd just have to walk home from Russia Sushi. At least he was getting a lift this far. "I'd love to," Izaya said with a practiced sweet smile. "But I've really got to get home. I have some work to do."

The van lurched over a speed bump, and Izaya winced as a stabbing pain went up his spine.

Of course, Erika had to notice. "So you did bottom! I knew it! You may be all tough and crafty on the streets, but compared to Shizuo you're as tame as a kitty. Was he forceful? Was he rough?"

"Sort of similar things there..." Izaya danced around the question. "So tell me, what's your favourite manga at the moment?"

Erika began listing, and Izaya mentally patted himself on the back. Crisis averted, for now.

Although, now that he thought about it, what was Shizuo like? He knew the brute had been rough, but he hadn't really thought about it in detail. He was trying to repress the memory.

He came onto me first...

Izaya remembered.

It was in an alley and the lines between love and hate blurred, and his aggression morphed into semi-lust. He carried me back to his place, and then he ripped open my clothes. I was a mess...

Izaya was annoyed at himself.

I didn't put up much resistance. I was a total bottom. How demeaning...He's going to use that against me. I can see it now... 'IZAAAYAA! Why don't you just let yourself be impaled by this sign like you were impaled by my cock!'

Last night was the mistake of all mistakes.

Izaya must admit, however, that deep down, he had always expected it. The two felt so strongly about one another that there must have been a blockade of sexual tension. And he always had been a little flirty with the blonde. A wink here or there, the fact he called him Shizu-chan. He had never wanted these repercussions however. He never wanted for things to end in Shizuo's favour.

When they finally arrived at Russia Sushi, Izaya contemplated just waiting in the van until they finished. However he knew the four of them liked to take their time eating, and they talked quite a lot. It would be easier for him to just keep moving.

Besides, Saburo didn't trust him to stay in the van by himself.

Izaya slipped out of the van alongside Erika and Walker. The two had begun spouting some nonsense about harems and aliens. "Thanks for the ride." Izaya said a little dryly. "See ya."

"Wait, Izaya." Kadota caught his arm. He leant down and whispered covertly. "What you did with Shizuo...it was all consensual, right?"

Izaya thought about telling him that yes, it was rape, and that Izaya was just a helpless victim. It would certainly make Shizuo's life harder, and wasn't that one of the things he lived for? "I'm not weak." Izaya said instead.

Kadota let go and nodded. "See you around, Izaya."

"But Izzy-chan...You need to tell me what happened last night in detail! That way I can write a story about it! And I really want to know!"

"Leave him alone, Erika." Kadota chided. "His ass is obviously sore, and he needs a bath."

"Wow, thanks Dotachin." Izaya said sarcastically.

"Some other time, then, okay?" Erika said, adjusting her cap. "You look so cute right now." Before Izaya had a chance to blink, she had taken a photo with her phone. "Now I can put this in the scrapbook I'm making!"

Izaya decided he didn't want to know anything about that scrapbook. Ignorance was bliss, in this case, at least.

"Honestly the only time I ever see Erika behave so girly is around you." Walker said to Izaya.

"Aren't I the lucky one..."

"Izaya, come inside!" Simon was standing outside the establishment brandishing his usual brochures. "You eat good, fish very fresh!" As Simon spoke, he scrutinized Izaya, before breaking out in a bigger, genuine smile. "You and Shizuo come by some time, yes!? Eat good..."

"Shut up!" Izaya snapped. "I don't know what conclusion you've come to, but –"

"You wear Shizuo's shirt, yes? You good friends now!"

"Very good..." Erika waggled her eyebrows.

"UGH!" Izaya shouted in frustration. He was tired, he was cranky, and his ass was on fire! He did not want to deal with any of this today. For once, his beloved humans were pissing him off. Shizuo was reaping his sweet revenge. "I'm going home!"

"You no want ootoro?"

"No! I don't want your fucking ootoro!" Izaya snarled, before stomping off with a huff.

Simon, Erika, Walker, Kadota and Saburo stared after him with miffed looks.

"Well, I always knew it would happen..." Erika said. "But I almost can't believe it."

"Oh god..." Kadota massaged his temples. "Imagine what Ikebukuro is going to have to put up with now they're an unofficial couple. I've never seen Izaya act that way."

"Izaya act like in puberty, like Shizuo does sometimes, but this good thing." Simon said in his odd dialect. "They have finally found someone."

Izaya winced and whined to himself on his walk back home. He'd been so unfortunate today. Surely he wouldn't run into anyone else...

"Izaya Orihara...? No way..." Mikado watched from a distance with shock. "That can't be him...why is he dressed like that? In a dress..."

"It's a shirt, man..." Masaomi said, wearing a similar expression. "What I wanna know is why he looks so pissed off."

"It looks like...someone else's shirt..." Anri spoke up shyly.

"No way..." Masaomi said slowly. "Izaya...got laid!?"

"Don't be so vulgar!" Mikado protested. "Is it really that surprising? He's a grown man."

"For all of the time I've known him, and yeah it hasn't been that long, I've never seen or heard of him being intimate with someone! I always assumed he was above that or some shit..."

"He has needs..." Mikado blushed at this. "Like any other man...right?"

"So Mikado, you admit you have naughty urges?"

"Don't speak so rudely!" Mikado shot a furtive glance at Anri.

"Meh..." Masaomi's shoulder rose and fell in a shrug. "You're such a prude. I wonder who did him..."

"Why do you think it was a man?" Mikado questioned.

"Because he's limping..." Anri surprised both of them by speaking up. "And I think I can see some dried blood through the shirt. It was either his first time, or it's been a while..."

"Hahahaha!" Masaomi burst into raucous laughter. "I can't believe it! Man, the badass Info Broker is hopping like some rabbit!"

"You're so sadistic." Mikado said, with a reproachful look.

"Don't I have a right to be? He's caused so much trouble for me, and for everyone else, purely for his own amusement! You know what would make this image perfect!? If Shizuo Heiwajima turned up and chased him down! He wouldn't be able to run away like usual!"

"That's just weird, isn't it?" Mikado turned his head to the side like an inquisitive puppy. "Usually Shizuo tracks Izaya down as soon as he steps a foot in Ikebukuro. And Izaya is moving so slowly...you'd think he would be here to take advantage of the situation."

"Unless..." Anri said quietly. "He's already taken advantage..."

"He's the one who did it! Now I get it! Shizuo is probably the only dude alive capable of reducing the almighty Izaya Orihara to this state! This is awesome!"

"I almost can't believe it..." Saki said. She and Masaomi had come back to Ikebukuro not long ago, and she had been trying to steer clear from her former manipulator. "Izaya's always been so perfect. He looks almost fragile like that."

"I think it's good that he and Shizuo are settling their differences in a more peaceful way." Mikado said.

Masaomi snorted. "I doubt anything those two did together could be peaceful. Why do you think he's limping?"

"There's always the possibility it wasn't Shizuo." Mikado said. "The shirt does look like one of his, but we can't be sure unless we ask."

"You're right." Masaomi said. "I'll go ask."

"Masaomi, you can't do that!" Mikado sounded scandalized.

"If I don't ask it's just going to bug me all day. HEY, IZAYA!"

Izaya didn't pause when he heard the shout. He had identified the voice, and hoped that Masaomi didn't pursue him. It would be just painful to deal with the blonde.

"IZAYA ORIHARA!"

Izaya thinned his lips and stopped. The yells were just attracting more attention, and Masaomi would just catch up to him eventually. He wasn't exactly moving with his usual speed and agility. "Masaomi Kida...and here I thought you wouldn't step a foot near me when you returned."

"Did you have sex with Shizuo Heiwajima?" The question was blatant and blunt, and it was said in such a typical Masaomi tone. The kid had always been straight to the point. No doddling or small talk. Such things were for the more reserved, like Mikado. Yet, the two were best friends. Go figure. It seemed opposites truly did attract.

"Well now..." Izaya said, mentally scrambling for a response. He couldn't exactly lie. He didn't know if Kadota would keep silent on this new development, and he knew Erika would be so overjoyed it was possible she would proclaim it to the world. "How discourteous for you to say such a thing with innocent ears around," Izaya waggled a finger in the teens face. He was sure shooting up. He may be as tall Shizuo one day. "You'll end up upsetting someone."

"I'll leave the mentally scarring profession to you." Masaomi said with a shit-eating grin. "It seems you're dancing around the subject. I knew it. Shizuo Heiwajima has always been tearing you a new asshole, but I guess it's more figurative now..." Masaomi gave one of his nasally laughs. "Ah, fun times ahead, right Izaya?"

"Masaomi," Mikado and Anri had dawdled over. Saki had decided to observe from a distance. It would be a long time until she was comfortable around Izaya again. She still didn't know if was angry about her putting a dent in his plans. "You shouldn't just run off like that. Hello, Izaya." He smiled a little tightly. "Are you well?"

"Fit as a fiddle." Izaya said. "Hello to you too, Miss. Sonohara..." Izaya said when Anri did not extend a greeting. She was looking at him as if he was a dangerous snake preparing to strike, most likely a second away from drawing her blade. "Well, I best be off now."

"Wait –"Mikado extended a hand to grab Izaya's shoulder, but Masaomi grabbed it before it made contact.

"I confirmed our suspicions." Masaomi stage whispered, cupping his mouth showily. "Shizuo had sex with Izaya!" Mikado blushed at the forwardness, and Anri merely watched Izaya beadily. "Well, I gotta bounce. I got more people to tell." Masaomi sent an evil smile in Izaya's direction. "He's always spreading rumours...I think it's time he gets a taste of his own medicine."

Izaya knew that running into Masaomi Kida would not bode well for him. The kid wasn't seeking revenge, but he sure would dole a little bit of it out if he got the chance. And this was a wonderful chance to smear Izaya's name and tarnish his reputation.

Izaya sighed. Oh well, it wasn't as if he would be able to dissuade the boy. He couldn't blame him either. The fault was all Shizu-chan's.

A slip of paper suddenly slapped him in the face. Izaya peeled it off and peered down at it. It was a grocery list, and it was written in a very familiar neat scrawl.

"Thank you!" Shinra raced over and snatched the paper away without looking at him in the face. "I'll be going now...wait," He blinked. "Izaya...? You look horrible."

"Thanks for the gracious compliments." Izaya said, crossing his arms. "I should have known I'd run into you."

"Why?" Shinra said. He was squinting at Izaya.

"Because all the people I've been trying to avoid seemed to have taken to the streets with the mission to encounter me today." Izaya's bottom lip jutted out in a pout. "It's not fair..."

"I always knew this day would come!" Shinra suddenly exclaimed giddily. "I always thought Erika might be right! You and Shizuo are together now! This is great, you two can go on double dates with Celty and I, and you can finally have another outlet for your frustrations."

"We aren't together." Izaya deadpanned. Although for some reason, that thought, of them being a couple, made him wistful. "It was just a onetime thing."

"Right..." Shinra sounded sceptical. "I can't wait to tell Celty!"

Izaya didn't even protest. He was resigned. "So where is the talented transporter?"

"She's waiting in the grocer. I accidently lost my list, so I chased it out here."

"Only you Shinra..." Izaya mumbled. "I should keep walking..."

Shinra and he walked side by side back in the direction of Izaya's home, which was conveniently in the same direction as the grocer Shinra and Celty were shopping at. When they reached the quaint store, Shinra poked his head inside and hailed Celty over. The headless fairy was comparing the prices of two ramen cups. The shop owner was wringing her hands nervously. It wasn't every day the infamous black rider decided to do the groceries. The poor dear was probably close to hyperventilating. Celty wasn't exactly subtle anymore.

Celty looked over at them, and Izaya was sure that if she had a face, she would be wearing a shocked expression. She placed the cups back carefully, before bowing thankfully at the owner. She ran over to them, typing on her PDA expertly. [Izaya, is that you?]

"I thought you would be able to identify my irresistible face anywhere." Izaya widened his eyes, trying to look as adorable as possible. He could look quite cute when he tried. He'd used that face on clients multiple times. It always worked on elderly people.

[Why are you wearing Shizuo's shirt?] Her gloved fingers moved so fast they were a blur. [Are you two...okay?]

"We're fine." Izaya said wearily. "We just spiced things up a little last night."

[I'm...happy for you.] Celty took longer to type this time. [I know it's early and all, but I hope you two can sort out your differences. The thought of you together is sort of wrong, but I guess it's right on some level as well.]

Izaya thought about going on a rant about how last night was a mistake, and how they wasn't going to be a repeat, however, he didn't know if that was true, and it was almost nice to be getting so much support from people who he thought cared nothing about his welfare. "Thanks." Izaya finally said. "I should be going."

"Okay," Shinra said gleefully. "Have a nice day! I know Celty and I will!"

Celty jabbed him in the ribs. [Bye!]

Izaya waved lazily behind his back. No more run-ins, please...

He was certain his wish had been granted until three certain mean girl wannabes spotted him and stalked over with bitchy expressions. Izaya identified them as the girls he had scared, and he had smashed the cell phone of the brown haired one. They surrounded him and began blathering on about some nonsense. Obviously, they believed that just because he looked pathetic, he was in a weakened state. They thought wrong. "Listen up ladies. Usually, on an average day, I wouldn't want to beat you all up. But today, I'm feeling less tolerant."

The brown haired girl sniffed and turned around, shouting for her boyfriend.

Like her previous two, this one looked like a dirty scumbag. He had ripped pants on and a stomach that protruded from under his stained singlet.

At least he's a little more decent then that crotch grabber.

Izaya thought wryly.

"Yo, you think you can go around acting all tough?" The man asked aggressively. He took up a fighting stance before Izaya could respond.

Instinctively, Izaya reached for his absent switchblade.

Damn it.

"Looks like you don't have any weapons." The man noted with an ugly sneer. He threw out a fist, and Izaya narrowly dodged it. He whimpered as pain shot up his spine.

"You ain't never gonna bother my girl again!" The man shouted, closing in on Izaya and brandishing his own knife. It was blunt and probably not capable of cutting bones or breaking skin with little effort, but it would hurt if it was thrust into the flesh multiple times.

Just when he had prepared himself for a stab, a tall, blonde blur passed in front of him.

Izaya looked up with relief. It was Shizuo! And he was stopping this asshole from attacking him!

Shizuo had the man's fist caught in his hand, and in one fell, smooth movement, he cracked the man's wrist. The man yowled in pain, and fell to the ground cradling the broken bone.

Shizuo turned around to Izaya with a furious expression. "You damn flea! Always causing trouble for me! Can't you go for one day without starting some fight!?"

"I didn't instigate this." Izaya said coolly. "In fact, this is your fault. I've been trying to get back to Shinjuku, and I keep running into every person I've been trying to avoid. It's been tedious and torturous."

There was a long moment of silence, and Shizuo half-smirked half-snarled. "I have a solution for your problem."

"What?" Izaya snapped, smoothing down the shirt that had begun to billow in the light wind.

"Don't go back to Shinjuku, stay with me." Shizuo shrugged, as if he wasn't suggesting something life changing. "We can figure everything out that way."

Izaya smiled, and it was more genuine then mocking. "I guess I wasn't the only one who ran into everyone today."

"No," Shizuo said. "No you weren't."

"Even Shinra?"

"And Celty."

The two gave each other appraising looks. "I'll go." Izaya decided with a sniff. "But only if you treat me to Russia Sushi to compensate for the awful day I had."

"Wearing that?"

"It's not like everyone in Ikebukuro hasn't seen me." Izaya said, this time with his own half-smirk half-snarl. "Catch me if you can, Shizu-chan!" With that, he took off running. It was slower than usual, more playful then dangerous.

And Shizuo meandered off behind him, trying to ignore the elated feeling bubbling in his chest. To think, Izaya, so shameless, had been nervous about doing the walk of shame. He snickered when he saw the dried blood on the back of Izaya's bare thighs.

This new game would be fun for the both of them.

So there it is. *Peeks out from behind fingers nervously*

I think the ending was a little rushed, but I might consider doing a sequel if anyone actually liked this. *Shrugs* Thanks to anyone who read! Adios! ^_^