The next few days, the Wizarding world rejoiced as news of the Dark Lord's downfall spread. Harry had to do a few interviews, but he insisted he needed to get back to school to finish his education. In reality, he and Draco went to Fiji and got married.

The Death Eaters all faced life sentences. Snape tried to weasel his way out of it, and Harry made good on his threat to wax all the man's butt hair off. As predicted, Harry was not expelled.

Dumbledore was fired, and took up a position at Honeydukes as Head Candy Taster.

McGonagall was named Headmistress, and as a now hairless Snape was locked in Azkaban, she hired Remus back on as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

Professor Malone stayed at Hogwarts, and Ron and Neville stood in as her best men at her wedding to Tonks.

Hermione and Ron both went back to finish at Hogwarts. Harry suspected this was because the harem still needed its leaders, more than any educational purposes.

Harry gave Grimmauld Place to Neville, and moved into Gryffindor Sound with Draco after their honeymoon. They lived sexily ever after.

For never was a tale of more YOLO

Than this of Harry and his Draco.

~FIN~