Chapter One

The last stage of the return home from their honeymoon was just as unpleasant for Shiloh as the ride that had begun their honeymoon. The only redeeming part of it was that it wasn't bone-chilling cold. Spring thunderstorms had turned Johnson's Cut-off into mud most of the way with large puddles in places, two that forced the passengers to leave the coach so the horses could pull the coach through. Adam carried Shiloh so her dress wouldn't be ruined, but the two other ladies in the coach weren't as fortunate.

Sitting next to the window, Shiloh could see that spring was trying to burst through what little snow remained on the ground with the occasional snow plants pushing their bright red cone through matted pine needles and debris. The deciduous trees had just begun to open their fresh green leaves, and the grayness was giving way to light and blue sky.

When they arrived in Virginia City, Adam heard the breath she let out and watched as her body relaxed from the stiffness she had kept all through the ride. He stepped out of the coach and reached back for her hand, helping her down onto the street.

"Adam, good to have you back, Son," said Ben cheerfully just as Adam turned toward the boardwalk.

Shaking his father's hand, he said, "Thanks, Pa. It's good to be back," with a big smile.

Leaning down to hug Shiloh, Ben asked, "How was the honeymoon?"

Her answer was a bit subdued. "Parts were very good. Other parts…not so much."

Straightening, Ben looked at both of them. "We've been reading about some of it in the newspaper."

"We'll tell you all about it at home, Pa. But right now, we have an errand to run. Do you mind waiting for us? I don't think we'll be long."

Ben was about to speak, but was interrupted by Hoss and Joe coming down the boardwalk from the saloon. "It's about you time you two got home. How was San Francisco?" asked Joe.

Adam and Shiloh looked at each other. "Santa Cruz was better," said Shiloh, smiling.

"We'll be back in a few minutes," said Adam, taking Shiloh's elbow and guiding her down the boardwalk.

"What was that about?" asked Joe, watching them go, then turning back to his father.

"I have no idea, but I'm sure we're going to find out later. I didn't get the chance to invite them to dinner tonight. Hop Sing wanted to introduce them to Ming Lin."

Shiloh looked back over her shoulder to make sure she was out of earshot. "Adam, do we have to do this now? Paul's probably already finished with his day."

"Yes, we have to do this now because if we don't, I'll have to hog-tie you to get you back here."

They stopped in front of Dr. Martin's office and knocked on the door. Paul's nurse answered. "Hello, Helen," greeted Adam. "Is Paul in?"

"We were just about to close the office. He's in the examining room straightening up."

"Helen, who is it?" came a voice from behind her. "Adam, Shiloh, when did you get back?"

"Just now," said Adam, smiling. His expression turned serious. "Paul, do you have a few minutes?"

"Is this for you or Shiloh?"

"Shiloh has some questions."

"I think I can see one more patient today. Come in."

Adam waited in the front room while Shiloh sat in Dr. Martin's office. He clasped his hands in his lap and waited. "You're going to have to tell me what the problem is."

"Before I ask anything I want to know what your views are about women…and their…wombs."

Paul raised his hand to hide a smile. "I like to think I'm more enlightened than most. I've seen too much illness to believe that the womb is the cause of all female problems."

"Good, because the last doctor I saw said my problems were caused by my intelligence."

"Can I assume we're talking about having a baby?" She nodded. "Shiloh, female reproductive problems have nothing to do with your education. But they could have to do with your mental state. Now, why don't you tell me what's wrong."

Taking a deep breath, she told Paul about her sometimes late or missing monthlies as she fidgeted, not once looking up at him. "And now, it seems that I'm missing another one, only…now, there could be another reason it's missing."

"Well, considering you've only been married a month, it would be too early to tell if you've conceived. When did you start missing?"

Shiloh thought back. "Not until I was in Boston…after I had started performing on stage. And about the time I started seeing Will Stewart."

Dr. Martin sat calmly in his chair. "Based on what I've been reading in the newspaper, that must have been a difficult time for you."

"At the time, I didn't think so, but now that you mention it, I guess that entire time I had some doubts…and fears."

"And when you came home, you had to deal with your father's death and some difficult decisions. Have there been any recent times when you were on time?"

"Yes. Not long after Adam proposed. In fact, I finished one only a few days before the wedding."

"And now, you've missed the next one, and what's been happening in San Francisco? Don't answer that. From the newspaper articles, I have an idea. Shiloh, I think your level of anxiety is causing you to miss or be late. And in that case, I would say that cutting back the things that worry you the most might just solve the problem, unless of course, you have conceived, and if that's true, we won't know for a little while."

"So you think the same way as the other doctor," she snapped, crossing her arms.

"No, I don't think there's anything physically wrong with you, and certainly nothing that a little break won't cure. You're too young for me to think there's a physical problem."

"Dr. Martin, there are some things I need to do before…." How will I know considering I don't always have a monthly?"

"Well, I would keep up with them as if you had them on schedule. Even if you don't have one, I think we can assume everything else is working normally. And when you do have one, if it's late, adjust accordingly. But you know that counting isn't a guarantee that you won't conceive. There's only one way to know that for sure."

Shiloh's face flushed. She stood and made her way to the door. "Thank you for your time, Doctor."

"Glad I could help." He said, stepping out into the front room with her. "Adam, would you mind coming back. Shiloh, we'll only be a moment." She bit her lip and sat slowly in a chair, watching the two men disappear into the office.

"Adam, I know you know about condoms. You've asked me about them before."

Stumbling over words, Adam finally said, "Well Paul, those were to prevent catching a disease."

"They can also be helpful in preventing conception."

Adam looked down at his hat in his hands. "I would never consider using one of those with a respectable woman…certainly not my wife."

"I understand you feeling that way, Adam, but they're more reliable than counting," said Paul as he walked to the door and pulled it open. "Give your father my regards."

Smiling, Adam said, "I'll do that," then left the office with Shiloh, laying her hand over his arm and walking back down the street toward the waiting buckboard.

Shiloh looked ahead, but nervously cut her eyes upward toward Adam. "What did he say?"

"He…um…well…he talked about…the same thing you talked about. What did he say to you?"

"He said he doesn't think there's anything wrong with me, and that we won't know if I'm having a baby for awhile or until my next monthly. He said we could either…" she bit her lip, "…abstain…" Adam stopped walking and looked down at her with his mouth twisted. "…or I can count."

He looked over her head back down the sidewalk and took a deep breath. "Start counting."