disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or 'Turning' from Les Miserables, just Arabella and her story. Finally, the last chapter! I hope you all like it!

An Undeniable Grief

Harry watched Arabella stalk out of the Great Hall, his stomach dropping at the sight. He knew that bringing her down for breakfast was not a good idea. Hermione, Ginny and Ron thought that it would do her some good to get out of the Gryffindor Tower and even though he disagreed, he wanted to see her. He hadn't seen her in days and, if it weren't for Lavender and Parvati, he wouldn't even know if she was dead or alive. He didn't know what he expected, but he should have been ready for her to be standoffish and silent. Harry pushed his eggs around for a bit. He didn't want her to be silent or cold. He wanted to hug her and hold her and kiss her and tell her that everything was going to be all right, that they were going to get through this just like they got through everything else, that he was going to be by her side no matter what, that she held his heart and always will –

But it was his fault that Sirius had died and it was all his fault. He was convinced that what he saw in his dream was real, that Voldemort had somehow captured Sirius and dragged him to the Ministry, and he, Harry, fell for the trick. Voldemort had been banking on Harry's love of playing the hero, and played with Harry's mind like a toy. There was a terrible hollowness inside of him. Sirius, the closest thing to a father he will ever know, was gone and now he's lost Arabella as well. Possibly even forever. She hasn't said it to his face, but he was sure she blamed him for everything. She believed in his dream and trusted what he saw because she's always believed him and now that's completely gone. He's lost her, her trust, and there was nothing he could do to bring it back.

"Harry, are you all right?" asked Hermione, looking closely at him. "You're looking a little pale."

Harry licked his lips and nodded. "Yeah, um, just not that hungry, I suppose. I think I might just head up and rest for a while."

Before Ron could offer to join him, Harry was up and heading towards the doors of the Great Hall. He did not want to stay in the Great Hall and talk about different ways to get Arabella out of bed or listen to other students whisper about her or anything of the sort.

Just as he took a step on the marble staircase, he heard a shrill scream to his right. He snapped his head and the scream continued. It sounded as though someone was being tortured and his blood turned cold. He's heard it before. Harry ran towards the sound, his heart jumping with each step, and found himself standing in front of the girls' bathroom door. He stopped himself for a moment, worried that he was going to intrude on some sort of matter that he had no business to intrude upon, but the screams continued and he knew, he just knew it was Arabella.

He burst through the door and saw, to his utter horror, Arabella hurling one of the bathroom mirrors on the floor. Glass flew everywhere and she began going at another one when Harry finally came to his senses. He ran at her and grabbed her around the waist, dragging her away from the mirror. Her knuckles were bloody and he could see small bits and pieces of glass sticking to her skin. She continued to scream for a seconds before her voice died out. It was a sharp contrast and the silence was nerve-wracking. He was worried that something terrible happened, that perhaps he should have continued on towards the Gryffindor Tower or maybe she stepped on a piece of glass or maybe –

"Arabella?" he whispered, anxiety building up in his stomach.

Arabella collapsed to the ground with a soft thud. She tried to hold herself up with her elbows, but failed. Her neck looked extremely strained, as though someone was sucking the air out of her and she was trying to catch her breath, strange gasping and gagging noises coming out of her mouth. It wasn't human.

Someone came pelting into the bathroom and Harry looked over his shoulder. Ron stared at Arabella, his hand in his hair, and looking as white as a sheet of paper.

A strained noise came out of Arabella's mouth and Harry turned back to her. She was staring at him, her eyes red and dropping. A sickly feeling overcame him. He can't lose her.

"We're going to get some help. Hang in there, Arabella – don't close your eyes!"

But he was too late. He swore he saw her grey eyes roll backwards as he turned back to Ron and said, "Get someone!"

Ron ran out of the room as fast as he could. Harry's chest tightened and there wasn't much he could do. He placed his ear against her chest, searching for her heart, and couldn't find it a single thing. He then shook her shoulders for a bit, wondering if maybe, just maybe, she would wake up and say it was all a joke, that she was fine, she was fine, she was fine…

"Arabella… wake up, come back… Arabella… come back, come back to me…"

When Arabella woke up again, she was chained to the bedpost in the hospital wing.

The entire room was covered in sunlight and there were white curtains surrounding her. She was wearing a new change of clothes and her hands were heavily bandaged.

Arabella lifted her wrists and jiggled the metals against each other. She winced at the loud noise, but did it again, hoping that she would somehow free herself. Panic and fear began rising in the pits of her stomach. She shook the chains again and then began tugging at them, trying to free herself. She tried to slip her wrists through the holes, but her bandages were in the way and there was no way out.

One of the curtains opened and Dumbledore's tall frame stood forward. He pulled up a chair and took a seat next to her bed. He didn't say anything for a moment and Arabella wanted nothing more than to claw his eyes out.

"Let me go," she whispered hoarsely.

Dumbledore sighed. "Unfortunately, Healer Greene does not think it wise. He fears that when you wake up, you'll hurt yourself again."

"I don't care," Arabella said quickly. "Get me out of these handcuffs."

"Arabella –"

"Let me go!" screamed Arabella, the sound of chains echoing throughout the room. "Let me go, let me go, just let me go!"

"Not until you hear what I have to say," Dumbledore said calmly.

Arabella stared at him, her jaw slack. "Do you honestly think – I don't care – I don't care what you have –"

"It is my fault Sirius died," Dumbledore said clearly, stunning Arabella. "Your father was a brave and clever man. He had a certain energy that can never be duplicated and I was a fool to think that he could sit at home while others are in danger. You should never have believed for an instant that there was a reason for you to go to the Department of Mysteries, but if I had been more open with Harry from the beginning about Voldemort's true intentions, then you would not have gone to the Ministry and Sirius would not have followed you. That blame lies with me and me alone."

Arabella stared at Dumbledore. The sunlight was hitting his face in just the right way for Arabella to see the deep lines on his face.

"I talked to Kreacher," Arabella said slowly. "He lied to me. How –"

"Had you questioned him a second longer, he would have told you the truth," said Dumbledore. "Or perhaps even reached through the fire to grab him and stop him from hitting himself… He was able to lie to Harry with ease, but you are unfortunately his mistress, whether he likes it or not. He would have told you the truth instantly if Dolores had not entered her office and found what you were up to."

"He lied to Harry?" said Arabella, her wrists going slack against the handcuffs. "Wha – why?"

"He intended on sending you to the Ministry of Magic. Kreacher has been serving more than one family for months now. Shortly before Christmas he left Grimmauld Place."

"What? How? He's been locking in there with Walburga for years."

"When Sirius apparently told him to 'get out,' he seized his opportunity and left the house. He went to the only Black family member for whom he had any respect left."

Arabella did not need long to search her mind for the answer. "Malfoys."

"Narcissa Malfoy," said Dumbledore, nodding.

"How do you –"

"Shortly after Professor Snape realized that Harry had a vision of Sirius being trapped in the Department of Mysteries, he contacted headquarters at once. Alastor Moody, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, and Kingsley Shacklebolt were already there and came to your aid at once. Though Professor Snape requested that Sirius be left behind to tell me what happened, he did not listen. He ordered Kreacher to tell me what had happened and left with the others. When I arrived in Grimmauld Place shortly after they all had left for the Ministry, Kreacher told me where Sirius had gone and burst into a fit of laughter."

"Lau – laughter?"

"Yes, laughter," said Dumbledore. "You see, Kreacher was no Secret-Keeper for the Order, so he could not give our whereabouts to the Malfoys or tell them any confidential plans. He was bound by enchantments of his kind and could not disobey a direct order from either you nor Sirius. But he gave Narcissa and her husband enough information that would be valuable to Voldemort, information that Sirius did not seem fit to ban Kreacher from ever repeating."

Arabella bit her lips and said, "What kind of information?"

Dumbledore was unable to meet her eyes as he said, "That Sirius, with all his heart and soul, loved you and would go to great lengths to see you and Harry healthy and safe and whole. That you would follow Harry to the end of the wold and back and trusted him beyond any reason of a doubt. That you desperately wanted a family and would be utterly crushed and devastated if another tragedy occurred. Voldemort knew, of course, that you loved Harry and were willing to do anything for him and that Sirius was in the Order. But Kreacher's information made him realize that Harry would go to any lengths to rescue Sirius Black and make you the happiest person in the world no matter what."

Arabella's throat closed. "He – he laughed. He laughed when telling you this –"

"He did not want to, but I am accomplished in Legilimens and persuaded him to tell me the full story before I left for the Department of Mysteries."

Arabella was breathing heavily, her eyes welled with tears. "He – he lied – he deserves –"

"Kreacher is a product of his environment, Arabella. He was forced to do yours and Sirius's bidding because you are the last of the Black family. He felt no true loyalty to either of you and Sirius, and Kreacher was a constant living reminder of the home Sirius hated. Kreacher was disregards with indifference and neglect, and it did more damage than hate –"

"He was stuck in that house!" snapped Arabella, her chest rising and her wrists pulled against the handcuffs. "He was stuck in that house every minute of every day and Kreacher was always there with his stupid, snide remarks and his mother's portrait was there yelling at him that he was a disappoint –"

"I was trying to keep him alive," Dumbledore said quietly.

"You locked him up!" said Arabella, the sound of metal echoing in the room. "People don't like to be locked up, they don't like to be chained or tied to a chair or forced to be in a house that reminded them of a terrible childhood!"

Dumbledore didn't say anything. He closed his eyes and buried his head in his fingers. After a few moments, he looked up at her, his blue eyes dull and his face hollow. Arabella, wanting to rage and storm at her headmaster, could not find the energy to do so. He was showing signs of weakness and vulnerability, and she… she was exhausted.

"Five years ago," Dumbledore said after awhile, "when you arrived at Hogwarts, I was pleased to see your state. You were alive and healthy and a normal girl –"

"With scars," whispered Arabella.

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, scars included. You were not pampered as Bellatrix and Narcissa had once been, but a happy girl under Remus's love and care. As the year progressed, you and Harry had become close friends, reminding many of us of Sirius and James. I had anticipated that Harry would have to face Voldemort sooner or later, but I did not anticipate you being alongside him every step of the way. I was surprised and pleased. Harry has a terrible task ahead of him and it's been set since the time Voldemort marked him."

"I don't under –"

"Voldemort marked Harry as his equal when he was a baby. There was a prophecy that stated that the only person that has a chance of conquering Lord Voldemort for good would be born at the end of July sixteen years ago. This boy would be born to parents who had already defied Voldemort three times. Neither can live while the other survives. I had a plan, of course, to see Harry safe and whole with his family under Lily's protection. He would be protected with an ancient magic that Voldemort does not understand, underestimates, and despises. A magic that few have truly ever felt – love."

"Love?"

"Love," Dumbledore repeated simply. "Despite his vast knowledge and skill, Voldemort cannot understand love. I told you once in your first year that love was a powerful mark. A force more powerful and terrible than death, intelligence and nature… Love is a mystery. A sort of power that can never truly be understood. Voldemort does not possess this power and never can."

"Professor –"

"Harry's path to Voldemort is terrible and long, but you've been there every inch of the way. You stood between him and Voldemort, almost sacrificing yourself, because of love. You followed him into the Chamber of Secrets because of love and when Voldemort decided to take you last year, he knew how to play with Harry's heart. I could not anticipate you, Arabella, and neither could Voldemort. He thinks that love is foolish but you, you have proven Voldemort wrong time and time again. Arabella, your ability to love and feel love is a strength that has been passed down to you by your parents. Kassandra and Sirius loved each other very much. You – you are a product of their love and happiness during a time when many of us believed it were not possible. You have taunted Voldemort just as much as Harry. You have proven time and time again that your love for Harry, your love for Remus, and your love for Sirius is far greater than anything else in the world. Arabella, I know you blame me for what has happened to Sirius and I have truly earned it, but I know you blame yourself far more. If not, you would not have destroyed the girls' bathroom."

"Why are you tell me this?" asked Arabella, her voice shaking.

"I think you know why."

Arabella stared at him, her lips quivering and her eyes stinging. He was right, of course. She wasn't nearly as mad at him as she was with herself and she understood why he told her all of this. He wanted to remind her that she was a good person. A person quite opposite of everything she believed herself to be, but it did not make her feel any better.

"It's not fair," she whispered. "I – I – I only got a few years with Mum, and, what, a year with Dad? They were both taken by – I thought I would have – Kassandra was dead, but with Sirius… I thought that part would be salvaged… I just… he could have chosen anyone – anyone – and he chose my father… the only one I will ever have and I will never see him grow old…"

"I know," said Dumbledore, a single tear trickling down his cheek.

He reached out and gripped her shoulder as silence passed over them. Arabella slacked against the bedpost and the handcuffs, unable to muster any energy to fight. She laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling, wanting nothing more than to sink into the ground and never get up. If love was her greatest strength, then why was Sirius gone? Why did he not come back through the veil? Perhaps Dumbledore got her wrong…

"I shall get Healer Greene," Dumbledore said after a while. "He's been waiting to see you."

Dumbledore left behind the curtain, leaving Arabella alone. She continued to stare at the ceiling, her mind being flooded with flashes of Sirius. Him breaking into Remus's house in the middle of the middle of the night – his face in the fire – visiting him in the cave – seeing him through Kassandra's memories – his smile – the shine in his eyes – the slight startle in his face just before laughing – his voice singing "God Rest Ye Merry, Hippogriffs" – when he kissed her forehead and everything just felt safe –

The curtain opened again and five figures emerged. Remus and Harry immediately went to her side, asking her if she was okay, if everything was all right, and fussing over her. Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore stood on the sides quietly and a man shorter than Madam Pomfrey stood in front of Arabella with a small smile on his face. He had thick dark hair, darker eyes and rosy cheeks. He was holding a file in his hands and saying something to her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. If what Dumbledore said was true, that she was a product of Kassandra and Sirius's love, then wouldn't she also be a product of their death?

"Arabella, are you listening to me?"

She opened her eyes and nodded. She then said, "Yeah, I've got a messed up heart and I'm going to die soon."

Healer Greene sighed and said, "No, Arabella, you're not going to die. With the right amount of medicine, we can cut the problem all together and you'll be in the clear. A part of your heart muscle is thick due to family history, but I can certainly take care of it. I've given Remus here the date and time for you to come to St. Mungo's and we'll get rid of the problem."

Arabella shrugged and mumbled, "Sure."

Healer Greene looked disheartened at her tone. He sighed and then shook Remus's hand. Harry took a seat next to her bed, moving his chair close, while Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey escorted Greene out of the hospital wing.

Remus adjusted her sheets and began mumbling absentmindedly, "It's unfortunate that it runs through your Mum's side, but Healer Greene's one of the best and he's done wonders with the new Muggle Medicine Connection Initiative. Done wonders to bridge the two – stress cardiomyopathy… never even heard of such a thing and of course Isaak never told anybody… maybe Alastor, I should ask." He then shook his head and gave her a feeble smile, "But you'll be as good as new in no time… I suppose he'll want to give you some medicine to take for a while or perhaps potions to help with the stress on your heart or even –"

"Please stop talking," Arabella said quickly, closing her eyes once more. She shook her head and bit her lips. She tried to sink herself further in the bed, hoping that it would engulf her.

Remus sighed and glanced at Harry for a moment. No words were shared between the two and no words could have helped.

"Arabella," began Remus, moving forward and gently brushed the top of her head. He kissed her forehead and said, "If I could take away your pain, if I could take it all away, I would. Tell me how. Tell me how I can make this better. Please, tell me what to do. I'll do anything."

Arabella opened her eyes briefly to look at Remus. His eyes were puffy and red, his skin shiny, and his hair oily. He looked as though he hadn't slept for days and his clothes were hanging from his body. He wasn't eating properly and it showed. Yet, he stood in front of her, wanting to help, desperately wanting to help, and he couldn't.

"Everything I thought I had –" Arabella began in a raspy voice. She closed her eyes again, not wanting to say it. Not wanting anyone to hear the truth of the matter. She did not want to admit freely how much she had hoped for her father to be free, how she wanted to get a piece of Kassandra back or for feeling as though things were starting to work out for her. Everything she had wanted seemed like such foolish, childish wishes that would never have come true. And somehow admitting all of this to Remus – her constant, her rock, her pull back to earth, her pull back to north, the man that did everything for her and then some – made it even worse.

Arabella opened her eyes again and gave Remus a pitiful smile that never reached her eyes. "Everything I thought I could have, everything I ever wanted, was once again ripped away by," her voice died in her throat, "Bellatrix… And there is nothing on earth that would be able to take that sort of pain away, Remus, and you, you certainly cannot do it."

"Please don't say that –" said Remus, his voice barely above a hush.

"Go," whispered Arabella, recoiling away from his touch and closing her eyes.

"Arabella –" Harry said suddenly, his voice small.

"Go," Arabella repeated, her voice slightly louder.

"You can't keep this in –" began Remus.

"GO!" screamed Arabella. She lifted her shoulders from the bed and her handcuffs clashed against the bedpost. "GO! GO! GO!"

She screamed and thrashed against her bed until they left. Remus sighed and rubbed his eyes. He got up with Harry and made their way towards the doors. Harry turned back to look at her, but she could not meet his eyes. She slumped against the bed and turned the other way. She took a deep breath as tears began spilling down her cheeks. He opened his mouth, looking as though he wanted to tell her something, but decided against it and left with Remus. Madam Pomfrey remerged into the hospital wing and came to check on her. She checked Arabella's forehead, took quick note of Arabella's cheeks, and readjusted her sheets. She then took a seat next to Arabella's bed and looked over her shoulder, making sure no one was there.

"If I give you a potion for dreamless sleep, will you drink it and not run away again?"

Arabella gave her a small nod. Madam Pomfrey got up and walked to her office. She returned back with a goblet full of purple liquid. She freed Arabella from her right handcuff and was about to do the same with her left when Arabella stopped her.

"Um, I – er – it's fine," muttered Arabella, placing her free hand over the handcuff. "I'll be, um, tempted."

Madam Pomfrey sighed and held out the potion. Arabella took a couple sips of the potion and felt the effects immediately. Madam Pomfrey quickly took away the goblet and headed back to her office. Arabella relaxed against the bed and wiped her face with her free hand. She curled underneath the hospital blanket and closed her eyes, laying her head against her chained arm.

Arabella's sleep did not last long. When she woke up again, it was dark outside with a small sliver of moonlight coming through the window in front of her. It seemed to be a cloudless night with small scatters of stars against the darkness. The air was eerily quiet until she heard a soft voice coming from inside the room. It took her a while to find the source. The ghost blended perfectly with the moonlight and when she saw that Arabella was up, she moved closer to inspect her. Arabella blinked, making sure she saw correctly. The Grey Lady, who usually only spoke to Ravenclaws and the other ghosts, was floating in the air in front of her. She was singing softly and staring at Arabella, as though she had never seen such a creature. She was beautiful with waist-length hair and a cloak that dropped down to her feet. She slowly descended to the floor and sat on the end of Arabella's bed, though it must have made no difference to her. When the Grey Lady drew closer, Arabella was able to make out the words she was singing under her breath.

"No one ever told them
That a summer day can kill.
They were schoolboys
Never held a gun…"

"What do you want?" Arabella asked roughly.

The Grey Lady regarded her for a moment, her face haughty and proud. A small, cold smile curved upon her lips as she said, "Usually, in times like this, students seek out one of us ghosts. Professor Binns, Sir Nicholas and Sir Friar all agreed that it should be me."

"And why would I seek any of you out?"

"It happens when students have suffered a loss."

Arabella sniffed and said, "I doubt he's coming back as a ghost. I know where he is. Thanks for trying. You can leave now."

The Grey Lady stared her for a moment with her lifeless, transparent eye.

"My father died when I was young as well," she said quietly. "He was the most handsomest, exquisite man I had ever known and he used to sing to me Muggle songs all the time, especially before I went to bed. My mother, despite all the love she had for him, wanted me to be brought up in a more… traditional environment as you would say. She wanted me to be perfect and my father wanted me to be… happy and free," she whispered, a strange look overcoming her face. "Naturally, I was closer to him than mother. He died a month after I arrived at Hogwarts. Some sort of Muggle disease that took our whole village. I could never forget that day."

The Grey Lady paused for a moment and regained her composure.

"I used to try and mimic his voice and sing all the Muggle songs he used to. Even now, I'd try and learn some new ones just for him. I think he would have liked them. He had an amazing voice. He could have sung for hundreds and hundreds and they would applaud him every night. Have you ever heard your father sing?"

Arabella hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Um, yeah, but nobody would ever pay to hear him. Tone – tone deaf."

The Grey Lady gave her a small, encouraging smile. Arabella, despite already confirming it, couldn't help herself.

"He's not going to come back as a ghost, is he?"

"Some people don't," The Grey Lady said softly. "Only wizards can come back as ghosts. I… I learned that the hard way."

"But he's a wizard, what happened to him, then?"

"He would have most likely moved on. This is the most popular path, if not this place would be full of ghosts. I chose this path because I was afraid of death. I chose to stay behind and, frankly, have no idea what is beyond this life, beyond death. I am stuck. Neither here nor there. Never truly one of you, but not truly one of them."

Arabella closed her eyes and remembered her mother's voice beyond the veil. Though she knew as much about death as The Grey Lady, she knew where Sirius was going. He was going back home to his wife after nearly fifteen years. This was… the only truth Arabella was willing to accept, even if still made her insides ache with longing and sorrow.

"You can go now," Arabella whispered, her voice sharper than she had intended.

The Grey Lady stared at her, her lips pursed into a thin line. She then rose up into the air and glided away, singing as she went.

"Fighting for a new world
That would rise up like the sun
Where's that new world
Now the fighting's done?"

The next morning a letter and a vase of flowers arrived in the hospital wing for Arabella. It was a large vase with various extravagant flowers of different colours, sizes and smells. When Madam Pomfrey placed it at the end of her bed, it was practically overflowing onto her bed and the floor.

"There was a card," Madam Pomfrey said stiffly. "It's from the Minister."

Arabella took the card from Madam Pomfrey and read: "Miss Black, I am writing here on behalf of the Ministry of Magic, begging for your forgiveness and hoping that we can reconstruct our relationship. Starting afresh with no hard feelings in hopes of building towards a better future. Sirius Black's name has officially been cleared and we hope that you will one day come to forgive us. Sincerely, Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic."

Her body became tense and bile rose in her throat. For a moment, she thought of flinging the large vase against the wall or smashing it with her arms until the glass became fine shards. Most of all, she thought of tracking down Cornelius Fudge and beating him to a pulp because she was right. She was right this whole time and it took the death of Sirius Black for him to finally admit the truth. No amount of flowers or half-hearted apologies will ever fix that.

Madam Pomfrey took the vase away before Arabella could do anything and dismissed her from the hospital wing. It was her last day at Hogwarts and she wanted to pack and spend some time alone. There was going to be an end-of-term feast later, but Arabella did not want to attend. She didn't want to hear Dumbledore make some reference on Voldemort's return or about how they had to stick together for the future. More so, she was worried that he was going to somehow either bring her or Harry up in his speech. It was the very last thing she wanted to do or hear. The corridors were deserted and she could hear students outside soaking up the sun on their last day. She made her way up to the seventh floor and the silence was almost maddening. Just as she walked past the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy attempting to train trolls for ballet, a high polished door appeared on the opposite wall.

Arabella paused and looked around. Nobody else was there so it must be for her, but… but she wasn't thinking of anything. She was trying her best to keep her mind clear of any thoughts or feelings. Curiosity overfilling her, Arabella seized the brass handles and pulled open the door. She was expecting to see the Room of Requirements scattered with books, cushions and instruments thrown all over the place. She was expecting the Room to be as it were when they had their last D.A. lesson. However, when she stuck her head through the crack, she was greeted with Mirror of Erised standing in the middle of the room.

From the distance, she could tell what it was immediately. It was still as magnificent as ever with an ornate gold frame standing on two clawed feet. The inscription carved around the top glittered in the light and her heart was pounding like a drum. From the distance, she could see the mirror. She could see her reflection as clear as day, except this time, this time she was smiling. Her smile was wide and she stood taller with no weight on her shoulders. She was flanked by two little boys, the taller one barely reaching her torso. They were missing teeth and were smiling and giggling at her. Behind them came Sirius and, a heartbeat later, Kassandra. They had their arms around each other and Arabella turned around swiftly. She knew what she saw in the mirror. She knew who the two boys were, how unattainable that dream was, and left.

Arabella ran the whole way back to the Gryffindor common room, not realizing that she had been crying the whole time.

The journey back home seemed slow. Arabella was the last one to get ready and bring her belongings downstairs before boarding the train. She found a compartment to herself in the front of the train, ignoring the stares of the other students. Apparently, they all heard it was her that made a mess of the girls' bathroom. Some students had seen Professor Flitwick levitate her body into the hospital wing and spread it around the castle. Arabella, lugging her truck and Shay beside her, stared back at them and they all looked away quickly, pretending as though they weren't gawking at her a second ago. She saw the looks of embarrassment on their faces, the way their eyes fixed upon the ground, how their cheeks turned red, and wondered what exactly they were trying to find. Zacharias Smith stared intently at his fingernails, occasionally checking the corner of his eye to see if she was still there, while a couple second years immediately stopped whispering when they saw her through the compartment door.

Arabella hauled her trunk in the overhead with Shay, took out her wand, walked towards the door, and whispered, "Colloportus." The door sealed itself with a squeaking noise and Arabella pulled down the blinds. She threw herself down on the seat, leaned her head against the window, and closed her eyes. A loud whistle blew and the train jolted. With a heavy chest, the train began moving forward and they were heading back to King's Cross.

The train ride had been uneventful for the most part. Arabella occasionally looked out the window as they passed green fields with cows and horses, a small village with tiny houses, and cars zooming comically through the hills. At one point the food trolley came around and knocked on the door. When Arabella didn't answer, it went away quietly. She heard other people wanting to knock on the door, wondering if anybody was in there, if there was a free seat, but for the most part, nobody really bothered her.

It wasn't until a couple hours after their departure did someone came looking specifically for her. In fact, it was three people.

"Arabella?" came Ron's loud voice, his knuckles banging on the glass. "You in there? Come on, let us in."

The door jiggled coarsely in place, but did not open.

"Here," Hermione's voice said quietly. "Alo –"

The spell did not come. Arabella did not see what happened but could make a fairly good guess.

"She wants to be left alone," Harry's voice came strong through the door. "If she wanted to talk to us, she would have done so. Let's just go."

Arabella heard footsteps walk away and assumed that they left alone.

"We're the last compartment at the end of the train," whispered Harry. His voice came clear, despite how low his voice was and wondered how close he was to the door. He slowly walked away and Arabella's heart stopped thumping against her chest.

Harry headed back to their compartment, his shoulders slumped and his feet dragging on the floor. He, for some reason, expected Arabella to open the door and let him inside. He had wished to talk to her, even if it was about nothing, just some nonsense to fill the air. He had wanted to sit next to her, to stare out the window with his arm around her as comfortable silence filled the compartment, but they were unsuccessful. He had agreed to come with Hermione and Ron, but knew that it would have been the last thing Arabella herself had wanted.

"Any luck?" asked Ginny, looking up from The Quibbler.

Hermione shook her head and Ginny's shoulders slumped down. Ron sighed and took out his chessboard and began a new game with Harry. Neville was stroking his Mimbulus mimbletonia and Hermione began reading the Daily Prophet. It was now full of articles about how to repel dementors, attempts by the Ministry to track down Death Eaters, and hysterical letters claiming that the writer had seen Lord Voldemort walking past their house that very evening…

"Look who it is," said Ron, a slight edge to his voice.

Harry looked around. Cho Chang and Marietta Edgecombe were passing by, the latter wearing a balaclava. Marietta looked into the compartment for a moment and Harry could spot some redness on her forehead and cheeks. She blushed and kept walking. Cho gave them a small smile before following her friend. Harry looked back at the chessboard just in time to see one of his pawns chase off Ron's knight.

"Cheerful, isn't she?" Ron said coldly. "Don't know why Cho hangs around her, but I suppose she's the only friend Edgecombe's got left."

"No, there's one more," Ginny said vaguely. "Whether he likes it or not."

"What are you talking about?"

"Michael Corner," said Ginny. "He's trying to go out with Cho and thinks hanging around Marietta will do the trick."

"Wait – Michael –" said Ron, craning around his seat. "I thought you were going out with him!"

"Not anymore. He didn't like Gryffindor beating Ravenclaw at Quidditch and got really sulky, so I ditched him and, since Roger Davies graduated, he's trying to shack up with Cho. Fat chance. Davies is trying out for the Tornados. She's not gonna leave him for Michael."

She scratched her nose absently with the end of her quill and turned The Quibbler upside down. Ron looked highly delighted and gave Neville an oddly furtive look.

"Well, I always thought he was a bit of a tosser, really. Good for you. Just choose someone better next time."

"Well, I've chosen Dean Thomas, would you say he's better?" asked Ginny vaguely.

"WHAT?"

Ron upended the chessboard and Crookshanks plunged after one of the pieces.

As the train slowed down in the approach to King's Cross, she could hear people in the other compartments stand up and pull their belongings down. When it finally came to a standstill, the corridor became bombarded with students rushing to see their parents and loved ones. Arabella stroked Shay behind his ear and patiently waited until she was sure the corridors were empty. With a deep breath and trembling shoulders, Arabella picked up her trunk with one hand, Shay with the other, and got off the train. The train inspector signaled to her that it was safe to walk through the magical barrier between platforms nine and ten and she was met with a slightly shocking image. In fact, it looked as though she had walked into some sort of interrogation led by members of the Order of the Phoenix.

Mad-Eye, with a bowler hat pulled over his magical eye, was snarling at Harry's relatives. Nymph stood behind him with bubble-gum-pink hair and a bright smile on her face. Mr. Weasley was on the other side, looking as though it were some sort of pleasant altercation, and Remus was behind Nymph with a small smile on his face, despite the bags under his eyes. Mrs. Weasley, Fred and George were also there, but did not choose to participate with the others. Mrs. Weasley, in her Muggle best, looked around and smiled when she spotted Arabella.

"Arabella, dear – how are you?" she asked, pulling Arabella into a tight hug.

"Fine," said Arabella, her voice low and dry.

"Are you sure?" growled Mad-Eye as he limped closer towards Arabella. It looked as though he was done intimidating Harry's relative.

"Yes, Mad-Eye."

She shook Mr. Weasley's hands, gave Fred, George and Nymph feeble hugs before Remus stood in front of her. He looked as though he was going to go for a hug before stopping himself. She gave him a small smile and leaned into him for a moment, appreciating just how much he understood her more than anybody else.

They all began saying goodbye to each other. Mrs. Weasley pulled her into another hug, as though hoping to hug the grief out of Arabella. Hermione hugged her as well, her eyes slightly watery, and Ron gently punched her shoulder before engulfing her into a tight hug. Remus and Nymph patiently waited on the sides as Fred, George, Ginny, Mr. Weasley and Mad-Eye hugged her, even though Mad-Eye's hug was him wrapping his arm around her shoulders and giving her a rough shake. She supposed this was his attempt at making her feel better. They all began to leave and walk away. Hermione met up with her parents and the Weasleys trotted away. Mad-Eye had somehow disappeared and Harry began following his relatives out of the station.

"Wait," Arabella called out hoarsely.

Harry immediately turned around at her voice, his heart nearly skipping a beat. The Dursleys walked off without him, not even noticing that he wasn't there, and he was perfectly fine with this. He did not need them interrogating him about Arabella or Dudley making anymore snide comments about her. He just wanted to be with her and only her.

"Yeah?" he asked, his eyes frantically staring at her and drinking her in.

She looked worse for wear. Her clothes were practically hanging off her thin shoulders, heavy bags under her eyes, and her lips pale and cracked. Her hair was pulled back loosely and her fingernails bitten off. She resembled Remus more than her parents at the moment and his heart ached at the state of her.

"I – um –"

She looked around nervously for a moment, her body shaking ever so slightly, before she leaned in, placed her hands on his shoulders, and kissed him. He was thrown off for a moment before leaning in and closing his eyes. It was a little rough, her lips were dry and shaking, but it was Arabella and there was nowhere else in the world he'd rather be than by her side. He slowly wrapped his arms around her waist, unable to believe that this was happening, that he was finally able to kiss her after what seemed like months. This last week seemed to have stretched out and his world had been divided into two universes – one with Sirius and one without. The one without Sirius had a distant Arabella that barely said anything to him and, when she finally confronted him, it was with a kiss. A kiss that made him relax and sigh, as though a boulder was lifted off his shoulders and he was finally able to breathe. There was a burst of hope inside of him and he knew they could make it through anything with each other.

Suddenly, she took a step away from him. When he opened his eyes, Arabella looked distressed, as though she was having an internal fight with herself.

"I'm sorry. I – it's – I can't – sorry –"

Before he could say anything, she was gone, jogging away from her and out of sight. He stared after her, his mouth slightly open, and felt his heart plummet to his stomach. A strange feeling overcame him and he knew it was over.

Harry stopped immediately and his relatives continued to walk without looking back to see if he was still there. Arabella jogged up to him and the words died in her mouth. She didn't know what to say to him.

"Yeah?" said Harry, a slight desperation in his voice.

"I – um –"

With anxiety building up in her chest, Arabella took another step forward, placed her hands on his shoulder, and kissed him. It wasn't gentle or sweet or the sort of romantic kiss that occurred in train stations when lovers are forced to separate from each other. There were no fireworks or flips in her stomach. She wasn't floating on a cloud and her breath wasn't knocked out of her. None of this happened because… it simply wasn't there anymore. Or perhaps… she wasn't there anymore. She felt distant with herself, as though she was living in a stranger's body. Every time she had kissed Harry, she felt as though she could have done anything. Kissing him, being with him, being in his arms has always meant everything to her. But, somehow, right now, it just felt like… she felt like nothing. She was now living in a stranger's body, a body that wasn't reacting to Harry and his gentle hand on her cheeks and he deserved better. He deserved more than her.

Arabella took a step back and put her hands in the air in front of her. Harry's cheeks and lips were pink. He still had his eyes closed and there was a look of blissful joy on his face. But when he opened his eyes, he looked confused and worried.

"I'm sorry," whispered Arabella. "I – it's – I can't – sorry –"

She turned around quickly, not wanting to see his reaction, and walked away. She walked past Remus and Nymph, both reaching out towards her, and headed for the alley. As she left the building, she came across a little girl running into the arms of what seemed to be her father and Arabella quickened her step. She remembered the sense of hope she felt at the end of last year, how there were things worth fighting for and she was going to fight to the bitter end, but now… there was no clear vision. Everything seemed fruitless.

Thank you so much for reading. Normally, I write a sort of letter to everyone in a different chapter, but decided to do it here instead (30 chapters is just a really nice number to stop at).

The changes in this book are pretty significant, but stay true to what I've written before and true to Arabella. I kept most of everything relatively the same with a few exceptions here in there. I introduced a few characters that I either wanted to for a while or ones that will play a significant part in Arabella's future, and I prolonged scenes that I felt were necessary for the upcoming books. Also, I really tried to work more on Arabella and Harry's relationship in his book and hoped that they could come across as more genuine than before, especially with the changes in Hogwarts this year. In regards to their future, well, that will be addressed in the next book. Though it might seem quite cut and dry after this chapter, they're both not normal and neither is their relationship. I'm going to try and put my own spin on them in the next book and show different shades of them. There will be more Harry POVs in the next book, but not as much as Arabella.

Also, did you know that stress cardiomyopathy is also known as broken heart syndrome? I thought it was quite fitting for Arabella. If you're wondering what this has to do with the story, it will come up in the last book of the series that will tie Muggle and magical medicine together. But that's a story for another book...

Let me know what you guys think of these changes. I would love to know your input!

Now, as for this chapter, I am a little uncertain about the scene with The Grey Lady but still went ahead and added it in. What do you guys think of that part? I had been planning it for a while now and decided to go ahead with it or I might regret it later down the road. As for the scene with Dumbledore, it was the one scene I kept going back to when I was proof reading. I hope I got the message across and I would love to hear what you guys think of Arabella as a character.

I've started working on the first chapter on the next book. It was supposed to be in this chapter, but I decided against it and it will be the opener of the Half-Blood Prince. It should be up sometime in the first week of the new year. I will be moving soon and spending most of my time packing and unpacking and cleaning and blahh... I'm not looking forward to it, honestly...

Thank you so much for sticking with me and for sticking with Arabella this far. It absolutely means the world to me. Until next time, my friends!