Summary: The Doctor never does like endings which is why he has yet to say goodbye to River Song after leaving her in the library. He could spend the rest of his life traveling back in time to visit her and they never had to stop meeting. Of course, he knows this is wishful thinking because she told him the last time that she saw him. Part of him knew that even if he could go back after taking her to see the Singing Towers he never would. She follows him. Sometimes he can hear her voice when fiddling with the TARDIS controls or feel a brush along his arms. Every now and then something moves in the corners of his eye, but when he turns all he can see is his TARDIS herself. Trenzalore was the beginning of a very long and drawn out goodbye and now the Doctor is faced with saying it for real. How will he say it?

A/N: It is clear in the series that the Doctor has not yet said his goodbyes at the Singing Towers. He is so afraid to make that ending and River knows it. This is the story of the ending. It will be as canon as possible (please tell me if I mess up something canon because I'm obsessed with not changing a story line), but we will also be seeing a younger River Song. There will be multiple adventures that have yet to be spoken of and there will be romance involved. Ultimately, this story will end at the Singing Towers where we see their final Goodbye. My goal is to finish this story BEFORE the 50th anniversary because things might change and I have a hard time finishing things when I know they aren't canon. Hopefully we will get through the story in the next few weeks. Next chapter will be the end of "The Name of the Doctor" and three on will be strictly original until the towers. Also, feel free to review any times/places you would like them to visit. I only have three journeys so far and would like a few more.

"Trenzalore. I've heard the name, of course. Dorium mentioned it. A few others. Always suspected what it was, never wanted to find out myself." The Doctor lifts his sonic screwdriver and scans the wires and pipes to find the one he needs. "River would know, though. River always knew." As he speaks, he pulls down a thick black wire and beckons Clara closer.

"Right, come here. Give me your hand. Now, the coordinates you saw will still be in your memory. I'm linking you into the TARDIS telepathic circuit. Won't hurt a bit." One quick prick later, the TARDIS quickly uploads the necessary information and he looks up with no trace of his normal, carefree self in the lines of his face.
Clara jumps slightly at the pain in her hand, crying out in discomfort and the Doctor once again reminds her of rule number one.

"I lied." Quickly reconnecting the wiring, the Doctor remains silent.

"Okay, what is Trenzalore? Is that your big secret?"

"No."

"Okay, what then?" It is an innocent question, but the answer scares him more than he cares to admit. It is the one thing that is drilled into every Time Lord from the very beginning. The single most important rule to all time travelers.

"When you are a time traveler, there is one place you must never go. One place in all of space and time you must never, ever find yourself." His words are slow and measured with more intensity than she had ever heard him speak with. It baffles her because she still doesn't understand where they are heading.

"Where?"

The Doctor's brow wrinkles in frustration and he taps her temple lightly trying to make her think. "You didn't listen, did you? You lot never do. That's the problem. 'The Doctor has a secret he will take to the grave. It is discovered.' He wasn't talking about my secret. No, no, no, that's not what's been found. He was talking about my… grave." Of course he has an idea of what could be found there and it terrifies him. The Doctor has to pause for a moment, letting the idea sink in before she can know the full truth of what is before them. "Trenzalore is where I'm buried."

Walking away, the Doctor notices a shimmer of movement several feet behind Clara, but he pushes it to the back of his mind not able to deal with two different emotions of such strength. It is impossible. Now the movement is gone, but still he looks over his shoulder as he climbs the stairs to the upper levels both hoping to not see her again and wishing she would come back.

"How can you have a grave?" It should be obvious, but he explained nonetheless needing to keep talking to distract himself from what was to come.
"Because we all do, somewhere out there in the future, waiting for us." The coordinates are fully uploaded and the Doctor presses a few buttons and flips a switch to lock the TARDIS on course. "The trouble with time travel, you can actually end up visiting."

The TARDIS didn't want to bring them her and the Doctor is uneasy as he looks around the planet he is to one day be buried. Clara asks about the gravestone and each one weighed down on him. The Doctor avoids reading at the names not wanting to know what could cause this amount of destruction. Instead he looks over at Clara and again sees someone out of the corner of his eye. The grief is too much. Tearing his gaze away, he looks forward and observes the TARDIS with a tightening in his chest. She was always with him from the very beginning and even now when he is no more, the TARDIS stands with him.

"It's a hell of a monument."

"It's the TARDIS."

"I can see that." No, she can not see it. Who besides himself could understand the loyalty and devotion the TARDIS had shown him in almost 1,300 years? She was his constant companion and without thinking, the Doctor finds himself explaining the complexities of her. It isn't as if Clara needs to know, but more that he needs to acknowledge her out loud.

"No. When a TARDIS is dying, sometimes the dimension dams start breaking down. They used to call it a size leak. All the bigger on the inside starts leaking to the outside. It grows. When I say that's the TARDIS, I don't mean it looks like the TARDIS, I mean it actually is the TARDIS. My TARDIS from the future." With a deep sigh, the Doctor moves on faced with the morbidity of his current situation. The one person he needed to see more than anyone else, but could never approach is following them and he can not face her now. He is not ready for that conversation. "What else would they bury me in?"

Realizing that Clara is not following, the Doctor turns back and his hearts both stop for a split second as he sees a ghost. There is no solid form, but there is no mistaking who that presence is even from this distance.

"Well, come on, then."

"Who are you talking to?" It was an unintentional slip because Clara hadn't been speaking, but he was impatient to do what needs to be done and leave this planet. "We need to get –" Freezing, the Doctor stares past the whispering form of his wife's existence and his face falls in despair. "River." Her presence was always reminding him of his first failure, but seeing solid evidence – seeing a gravestone with her name on it – hurts more than he could have ever expected. It is the only name he let himself read since arriving and it stands out with her forcing herself to the forefront of his mind. How can he not notice with her standing with them? Fingers trace her name lightly, caressing them in the gentlest of touches.

"That can't be right."

"No, it can't."

"She's not dead." The Doctor still speaks as if she is still alive because she is always with him. No matter where he goes and what he does River will never leave him, but there is one fact that he can never let himself forget:

"Oh, she's dead, I'm afraid. She's been dead for a very long time."

Whispered words are spoken, but they are not meant for him. The Doctor can feel a twinge of sarcasm and fights the urge to turn around and face River.

"But I met her." His gaze shifts back before he can stop himself more than aware that they had met and knowing River could hear every word of this conversation.

"Long story. But her grave can't be here." His mind is lost temporarily in memories and flashes of their past together. He is always pushing back their meetings because he knew that soon he will never see her again and he isn't ready for this goodbye. How can he say it?

The only thing that can call him back is his own name cried in fear. The Doctor spins on his heel intentionally avoiding looking where he could feel River's presence. He lifts his screwdriver and it does not affect the strange men. Tapping it lightly changes nothing nor does blowing on the circuits to refresh the system's energy. The Doctor's mind races attempting to imagine a way of fighting the unknown men all the while distracted by the two presences behind him.

Soft whispers overlap the riddle from the Whisper men and he feels a sense of déjà vu when Clara asks him, "What do you think that gravestone really is?" Déjà vu is only for when something repeats itself so why is he feeling it now? Distracted, the Doctor replies with a question of his own not understanding why River's grave holds any importance to Clara.

"The gravestone?"

More whispers as the men move closer. "Maybe it's a false grave." More déjà vu.

Why is she still talking about the grave?! "Yeah, maybe."

More whispers from behind him. "Maybe it's a secret entrance to the tomb!"

The Doctor hits himself in the forehead with the screwdriver not sure what he never thought of that. "Yes, of course. Makes sense. They'd never bury my wife out here."

"Your what?"

Twirling on the spot, the Doctor sees the shadow of River's presence but does not pause to focus on her before sonicing the gravestone and opening a trapdoor.

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