(A/N) So for those of you that care; I know I haven't gotten very far in Lifeboat, but this idea just struck me out of nowhere and I've never seen this sort of story before. Ever. And seriously, as long as this sort of story type isn't solely in the Naruto/Sasuke yaoi section, I've seen damn near all the most popular categories. So here's my little stroke of genius.

I do not own Naruto or Marvel. If I owned them, I would be doing exactly what Stan Lee is currently doing in all the Marvel stuff, except I would demand to appear with a chunin flak jacket over a Spiderman suit at all times.

Arachnophobia

(October 10th-Konoha-12 years before canon)

Namikaze Minato, the Yellow Flash of Konoha, was holding his newborn son Naruto and staring at the monster that was destroying Konoha. He had just finished drawing the sealing array for the Shiki Fujin on his own son's belly, and he was preparing to summon the Shinigami to turn his son into the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. He couldn't be more disgusted with himself.

How did it come to this? Why was he of all people forced to make the choice between his own flesh and blood, and the village he loved so much? What circumstances led to forcing such an awful fate onto such an innocent, beautiful, perfect child? And dear Kami why did it have to be his little boy?

Minato knew this night could only end in his death, and make no mistake he was scared of what it would undoubtedly hold, but what he really cared about was how his son would be treated. No matter what he said or did, he knew the villagers would only ever see his son as the fox that destroyed their lives.

Kushina was going to kill him for doing this.

Minato could see her now; fighting the Kyuubi with the powers the Uzumaki kekkei genkai gave her. It was an amazing ability; it gave the user the abilities of a particular animal or insect, and even the Shinigami respected it. How could they not? They were forced by heavenly law to bring the last user of the same animal back to life to train the next.

Minato remembered meeting Kushina's helper a long time ago; a man with the same fiery personality and reactions, they could have been siblings. Maybe it was a Fire Ant user thing?

Minato shook his head, it wasn't the time. The Kyuubi was near.

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(10 minutes later-Shinigami's perspective)

Shinigami Hashi didn't hate his job. It gave good pay, living space came with it, and he even got to check up on his living family frequently.

But right then he wished he hadn't become a Shinigami. Nothing was ever simple where the Uzumaki's were involved. Bringing people back from the dead? Wasn't that the opposite of what Shinigami's were supposed to do?

And now the kid he had sealed the Kyuubi into had an all new variation for his family's kekkei genkai, which meant he had to go to a whole 'nother reality to get a sensei for the kid! How could there possibly be a whole new variation if it was such a common being?!

'Well,' Hashi thought. 'I guess it does make sense if this certain species never existed in this reality. But then…how the hell does this kid have the powers of one? Things were so much simpler when I was alive; I could just grow a tree around my problems and stab them with kunai. Oh how I miss my Mokuton…'

Hashi faded back to the afterlife, which basically looked like your average office building, and quickly received the paperwork needed to authorize his reality-hop. When he put down 'Reason: Uzumaki's' all the Shinigami around him backed away slowly.

Shinigami Hashi just shook his head, gave his captain the file, and waited for the upper management to find a suitable sensei in some far-flung reality. Who knew how long it could take, maybe days, weeks even. There was no way they'd send him on something like that so soo-

"Here's the file."

'Dammit, why are they so efficient?' Hashi thought. He flipped through the folder as he walked to (read: ran away from, but was eventually tracked down and dragged back to) the afterlife's reality-jump room. It was a big white circular room about 50 feet in diameter, with a gargantuan metal ring in the center. Inside the ring was a purple vortex.

'Even I'll admit it was a good choice' Hashi thought to himself as he stood in front of the portal. 'Though you have to wonder, what does the guy park?' Then he stepped into the vortex and was gone.

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Peter's day had gone off without a hitch. No super-baddies escaping their respective inescapable jails, no intergalactic team-ups needed, no calls from the Avengers or S.H.I.E.L.D.. Yessir, just a normal (read: sub-par) day of high school for one Peter Parker.

That alone should have been a warning sign.

Come to think of it, so should the voices in his head. And his spider-sense going off. And the giant swirling portal that just opened in his bedroom. And the-…wait, what was that last one?

Peter did a double take, and let his jaw bitch-slap the floor. For there, right in front of him, was a purple vortex in the middle of his room. But the thing that got him the most was the monster coming out of it.

Hashi stepped into a rather bare room. It had a bed in the middle, two side tables, a closet, a bookcase, and a desk covered in more paperwork than a Kage's. Hashi could feel Sarutobi's workload multiplying in response.

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Sarutobi sneezed as he was slowly drowned in paperwork. There he was, almost getting a handle on it, when thousands of white sheets started to literally grow out of the floor. He had no choice. "Katon: Great Fireball no Jutsu!"

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Hashi looked around. He saw a teenager, about 16 years of age and about 6 feet tall, watching him warily.

"You are Peter Parker, yes?" Not waiting for an answer, the department would have sent him as close as possible anyway, Hashi continued. "You are needed for a teaching position in another world as your alter ego Spider-man. Do you accept?"

Peter, understandably, was a little shocked. Considering the...thing had just appeared from a portal he decided to forgo how the being knew about his alter ego, and instead said the only logical thing to say at such a moment.

"W-what?"

Hashi sighed. "In another dimension, a small boy has just been born with your exact powers. Due to a debt owed by that world's death gods to the boy's clan, we must bring back a suitable teacher for this baby. In this case it would be you. I can guarantee that when you return next to no time will have passed in your own world (a blatant lie, not that Peter could know that he might well end up in the Triassic Period) and you will be whole and hearty despite what may happen to you in the other world."

Peter was a hero, and while that part of him was screaming to go explore another world, the rational part was reminding him of his other duties.

"I'm sorry, but I'm a bit occupied right now. I don't think it'd work out." Peter said coolly.

"Would it help if I said that the boy you're to be teaching has the fate of his world resting on his shoulders? If you don't teach him, his world is likely to end." Hashi inquired.

That got Peter to pause. Not helping this one person might end a world? Sighing, Peter acquiesced and began shoving supplies into a suitcase.

Once he got everything packed, the Shinigami he was with shook his head.

"You'll never make it in our world if you travel so heavily." Peter gave him a confused look. He was pretty sure he had packed everything as compactly as possible.

Hashi handed the teen a scroll, and told him to cut himself a little and put a bit of blood on the seal while it was in contact with his belongings. Peter flinched as smoke erupted from nowhere when he did this. The haze cleared after only a couple of seconds, and the young man was shocked to find his belongings gone.

"Don't worry, they were just sealed into the scroll." Hashi said, seeing the concerned look on his younger counterpart's face. It was a rather new experience for him to explain the things he had taken for granted for over one hundred years.

"Before we go," Peter said, suddenly extremely hesitant. "My aunt May and my friends will miss me if I'm not here even tonight."

"Don't worry about that," Hashi waved off the problem. "We'll send a doppelganger to stand in for you. It'll do everything you do. Walk like you, talk like you, act like you, do the things you do, it's basically a perfect copy of everything you are right down to your 'part time job'" Peter thought about it for a second. It seemed alright, how long could he possibly be gone for? He himself got a pretty good handle on his powers after only a few hours. He'd be back before anything could go wrong.

"Is there anything else before we go? Remember, we'll be able to get you some money in my reality to get the things you need."

Peter ran through a mental checklist, then shook his head and said "Nope. Though my friend's going to kill me for going to another reality without him."

"Don't worry, the doppelganger will fool anybody."

Peter just shook his head. "He's always able to tell when something's going on…"

A boy reclining on a cloud snapped an eye open. The boy was also 17, with brown/blonde hair, a muscular build, and eyes of a deep blue color. His face was one of those that just screamed 'watch me, I'm about to do something badass'. He was dressed in black, armored, boot-like sneakers, jeans, a white t-shirt, a leather jacket, and he had a strange flat metal band that he wore around his waist.

The boy suddenly sat straight up, and KI flooded the immediate area. He poked his head over the side of his cloud and roared: "PETER YOU LUCKY BASTARD! YOU'D BETTER REALITY-JUMP AS FAST AS YOU CAN BECAUSE I'M COMING FOR YOU!

Hashi and Peter heard the yelling, and quickly leapt through the purple vortex that had been silently swirling behind Hashi this entire time. The portal shrunk to nothing behind them, leaving no trace as to their whereabouts. You'd have thought that they just…disappeared from all reality.

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The sound of trees whipping past met the ears of a Konoha patrol squad. They had been on patrol for three days straight, and it was hard to think anything but how they were probably going in circles. The knowledge that they would soon be home with a nice warm bed and bath waiting for them made it hard to focus on any irregularities, and as such they never noticed the vortex that opened between two trees they had just passed.

Hashi stepped out of the portal, wary of what might be waiting. The trip between realities wasn't the part most Shinigami were nervous about; it was how the timestream connected. Too many times had a Shinigami gone to another reality only to come back to find that hundreds or even thousands of years had passed. The most famous case of this being that of…Itchy? Imiga? Ichigo! That was the guy, Ichigo. That particular Shinigami had gone to Hell to confront a great evil, but when he returned he found that his world and even the old Shinigami order had disappeared into the mists of time and the Sage of Six Paths was fighting some sort of monster.

Hashi's train of thought was interrupted when his young charge was tossed out of the portal. Normally that wouldn't have bothered him, but he took the fact that Peter was smoking and most of his clothing except for some pieces of his shirt and pants were now ash and char as a bad sign.

"You okay kiddo?" The Shinigami said as he morphed into the form of himself while alive, that of the Shodaime Hokage. All he got was a groan of pain.

"I feel…like I was filled with lava…" Peter rasped, unable to move. Hashi was stumped; he wasn't warned of anything like this. Was he? He pulled out the papers he had received, and looked over them again. In one of the corners, he noticed a handwritten note that definitely wasn't there before.

'BTW,' it read. 'Once the kid goes through the portal, he'll be forced to develop chakra coils. The process will be rough, so he'll most likely have an absolute minimum chakra level of about two tails. Also, some idiot thought it would be a great idea to put a welcome to the reality program on the portal. It glitches often, and will either cheerfully greet the kid or give him a great body of knowledge about shinobi history, skills, and techniques. Good luck!'

By the end of the note, Hashi's mind was having a great big 'WTF'-party. Oh well, at least he knew the kid probably wasn't getting up any time soon.

The Shinigami threw Peter over his shoulder, slipped his scroll into a sleeve, and started a run in the general direction of Konoha. He could only hope that he wasn't too far into the future. Or worse, the past.

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Sarutobi Hiruzen was fighting his paperwork once again, futilely trying to beat it into a manageable state. A loud bang startled him from his concentration, and he looked up to find a newly appointed medic standing in his doorway.

"Hokage-sama." The man said, a serious air hanging about him despite the fact that he had obviously just sprinted from the hospital. "There is something you need to see. A young man was brought in, we don't know who did it, but he was heavily chakra-burned and suffering from mental trauma and dangerously low chakra levels. When we checked his maximum capacity…that's when we knew you needed to be called."

Sarutobi knew better than to just sit on his ass and wait to be catered to, so he leapt up and followed the medic in a Shunshin.

Once they reached the hospital room, the Hokage found a single teenaged boy sitting up in his bed. The boy was a little sickly-looking, but obviously making a splendid comeback.

"You guys wouldn't happen to have seen a monster-looking guy named Hashi, would you?"

Sarutobi blinked at the randomness of the question. "W-what?" He stammered.

The boy thought for a second. "I think at some point he called himself a 'god of death' or something." Seemingly oblivious to the older man's stupefied silence, Peter began looking around the room he woke up in. Obviously a hospital from the Spartan decoration, it still had an amazing view of a cliff face outside of a window. Peter found himself interested by the faces carved into the cliff's own, but started when he recognized the first one.

Sarutobi's brain had faltered when the boy started asking for some weird monster that was apparently roaming his city, and it had simply shut down when the boy said it was a freaking Shinigami.

"That's him, there on that cliff face." The boy (and now that he finally glanced at the name plate at the end of the bed was named 'Peter') called to his elder. Hiruzen walked over and looked where Peter was pointing. He felt his pipe drop out of his mouth. The boy was pointing at the Shodaime's face.

"Son," Hiruzen said as he turned to Peter. "I need you to tell me everything that happened right now."

Sarutobi Hiruzen and Peter Parker were sitting in the older man's office with the Privacy Seal active. They had gone there after Peter was released from hospital custody and they had retrieved the boy's belongings. Much to the Kage's and medic's dismay, part of that was a suit of red and blue spandex. Though on second thought it might have been some kind of uniform…nah, who'd go around in that without at least a mask?

The other part was what they were discussing right then. A scroll, written by what just might have been a Shinigami. At the top was a seal with Peter's things in it, the rest was written directly to the Kage.

'Dear Hiruzen,' it read. 'If you are reading this it means that you have met Peter Parker. As you are hopefully aware, the Uzumaki bloodline possessed by one Uzumaki Naruto gives the user the abilities of any and all animals and creepy-crawlies. It also obliges us Shinigami to bring the last user of the same variation of the bloodline back to life. (E.g. the last user of the lion variation for the next lion user)

However, when an all-new variation appears we are forced to find and retrieve someone with similar abilities from another reality. This is the case with Naruto. He has a bloodline limit that gives him the abilities of the 00spider, a spider that doesn't actually exist in our reality. Other spider variations have given their user incredible trapping abilities, a massive intellect, sensing prowess of all kinds, the ability to spin webs and stick to walls without wasting chakra, and a host of other abilities. From what we have found, the 00spider combines all of the best abilities into one incredibly powerful bloodline. The reason Peter is here is because he is to mentor Naruto. Peter was injected with the DNA of the 00spider, giving him all the same powers that Naruto will begin to develop, if he hasn't already. Please treat Peter with kindness and respect, as in his home reality he has saved hundreds of lives and been given little enough credit for it. Remember, he is from another reality and won't know very much about our world. He also has a great amount of chakra, so you might as well send him to the academy or something.

Good Luck, Senju Hashirama

Normally Hiruzen would have simply written the message off as a fake, designed to give a backstory to an infiltrating shinobi. This time however, there were two things that stayed his hand. The first and most notable was the seal at the bottom of the page. It was Hashirama's personal crest, known only to him and his late predecessor and successor Hokages.

The second thing was the description of the Uzumaki bloodline. When Uzushiogakure (The Village Hidden in the Whirlpools) was destroyed by the Iwa-Mizu-Kumo alliance in the Third Great Shinobi War, all knowledge of the Uzumaki's bloodline was lost. The only known remnant of this once-powerful clan was Uzumaki Kushina. She had had full knowledge of her bloodline, and she had only told those that would never give it up. She only ever told three people: Namikaze Minato her husband, her best friend Uchiha Mikoto, and Sarutobi Hiruzen himself.

The only other people who could possibly know about the ins and outs of it were the Shinigami themselves, and apparently the 16-year-old boy sitting in front of him. But there were a few things he wanted to know before he just put him in constant contact with his surrogate grandchild.

"Peter," the old man started, not quite sure how to phrase his questions. "First of all, why did the Shinigami only bring you here now? Why not when Naruto was a baby?" Peter thought for a moment.

"Well," Peter said. "The Shinigami who brought me here said that it was because of how the time-flow fluxuates between the realities. He said he would do his best to get me here as on-time as possible, but because the average reality hop brings a person back at least 7 years away from where you want to be, he said it was unlikely that would be the case."

Sarutobi nodded, and reassured Peter.

"Don't worry young man," He said. "You aren't too far off. Naruto is currently 8, and about to start his first year of the ninja academy. I don't suppose you know anything about being a sensei?" Peter grinned and rubbed the back of his head.

"Not much." He said sheepishly. "I have a team of sorts in my reality. I'm supposed to be training them for in-the-field stuff, but it's not going too well. They don't seem to respect anyone their own age…"

Suddenly they heard a loud ruckus coming from outside the Hokage's office. What sounded like a herd of elephants from the sheer noise started pounding on the door.

"Lemme in jiji!" a loud, childish-sounding voice shouted from just outside.

Hiruzen chuckled. "Looks like you're about to get your chance to learn, Peter-kun." The aging Hokage pushed some chakra into a seal on his desk, and what seemed to be lines of strange writing appeared on all of the walls. Suddenly, all of the lines were sucked back to the seal on the desk like dozens of snakes.

The door blasted open, revealing a disheveled Naruto and an even more disheveled secretary behind him.

"Why was your door locked jiji?!" Naruto shouted. "Who's that guy at your desk? What's he doing here? When are you gonna come to my house again? What…" This continued for quite a while. Peter was slowly growing a tick mark on his forehead, while Sarutobi just tried to stifle his laughter at the look on Peter's face. Eventually it seemed Peter had had enough with the endless questions.

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT!" He yelled, quieting Naruto for an instant. The smaller child pivoted to his jiji.

"He's mean. Can you get someone cooler to be my sensei?"

Hiruzen and Peter blinked. "What's this about a sensei?" Said Peter, hiding his emotions strangely well. Truthfully he was coming up with all sorts of evil training methods that would get back at Naruto for calling him names.

Naruto, however, was not impressed. "I 'borrowed' the scroll there on jiji's desk earlier from the hospital. It was right next to an awesome red and blue anbu outfit, so I read it and tried to get some cool jutsus. All I got was that I was getting superpowers, and a sensei that also had superpowers. So is this my sensei?" Hiruzen blinked at how easily Naruto admitted to stealing a scroll from a hospital.

"I think the more important question is why you stole a scroll from a hospital…" The Hokage muttered, just loud enough for Naruto to hear.

"I didn't steal anything!" Naruto said mulishly. "I put it back!"

His surrogate grandfather just pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you even know what the difference between stealing and borrowing is?"

Naruto nodded vigorously. "Borrowing is when you take something, then bring it back! Like I did with the scroll! Stealing is taking stuff forever, like what the meanies do with the stuff in my apartment." The room got really quiet at that point.

'Well,' Peter thought. 'There's one way to shut people up.'

"I don't think it matters too much," Peter sighed. "Just don't do it again, okay kid?" Naruto nodded.

"So," the youngest person in the room said slowly. "Are you my sensei?"

"~sigh~ Yes…" Peter found himself instantaneously out of his chair, on the floor, and had a kid sitting cross-legged on his chest.

"Sooo…What'cha gonna teach me first?"

After the final paperwork was finished at the Hokage's office, Peter took Naruto up to the roof of the hospital. Once there, he began taking off his shirt and equipping his usual web-slinging equipment.

"The first thing I want to do," Peter said as Naruto stood in awe of the awesome 'anbu suit' Peter had on. "Is give you a preview of the powers we will eventually share, and give you an explanation of the rules of using them." Naruto pouted that there were rules about his powers, but he was still excited to see what they would be. As he came out of his thoughts, he laid eyes on his new sensei.

Who was wearing the most awesomest thing he had ever seen. And by then he knew that 'awesomest' wasn't even a word, so you can see just how fucking awesome it was.

Peter had changed into a spandex-ish suit that showed off his surprising amount of musculature. The suit had a red upper body portion that covered his shoulders, then curved down the middle of his abdomen to a belt-like portion that wrapped around. There were also gloves and boots of the same color, and all of the red parts had a black web-like pattern on them. As Peter spun around slowly to let Naruto see the whole suit, the younger boy saw that the red wrapped around the tops of the shoulders, right above a large red spider design. The rest of the suit was a dark blue.

"So, Whaddya think?" Peter asked.

Naruto just mumbled, "I want one…" which Peter chuckled at.

"Well just let me get my mask on first, then we can get going." As he pulled the article on, Naruto realized what his favorite part was. The mask was also red with a webbed pattern, but what really stood out were the eyes. Large white intimidating things that expressed an amazing amount of emotion. They were the coolest things Naruto had ever seen.

"Alright then, hop on my back." Peter said as he knelt down to give Naruto better access. Once the younger boy was secure, Peter told him to hold tight with his legs and put his arms under Peter's own.

Peter then proceeded to run and leap off the edge of the building.

He hooked an arm under Naruto's rear to keep him up, then made a handsign Naruto had never seen before. Webs shot out of Peter's wrist, and fixed to an edge of a building. The pair swung smoothly through the air, Peter positioning them perfectly to make consecutive swings. Naruto whooped in exhilaration as they flew through cartwheels and flips in mid-air, hanging by spiderwebs.

They swung over the marketplace; consumers and vendors alike looking upward in amazement at the red and blue garbed stranger swinging through the skies above them.

The same occurred over the residential district; people stuck their heads out of windows to watch the strange sight swinging from apartment building to apartment building.

Suddenly Peter swung them further toward a building, and landed on the side using only his fingers and toes. Naruto, who had never seen this sort of thing before, gasped in amazement.

"How are you doing that?" The child yelled in awe.

Peter just smirked beneath his mask at the blatant opportunity.

"It's called Super Stick'em Power"

"It's what?" Peter looked back at Naruto's scrunched-up face in incredulity.

"Kid…" He said, shaking his head as he began crawling up the wall. "If you can't appreciate my comedy, we're gonna be done with each other so fast even my webbing won't be able to save you." Naruto blanched.

"No, no!" he said quickly, forcing out some laughter. "It was funny! See? Please don't go!"

Peter began chuckling. "It's alright kiddo, I ain't goin' anywhere." They reached the top of the building, and Peter made his way to the other side. "While we're on the subject of going, where are we supposed to be?" Naruto looked around at the surrounding buildings, and picked out his apartment.

"There." He mumbled, pointing at a relatively tall building with external stairs leading to a door on the top floor.

Peter swung his way over, crawled up to the door, and entered a hallway that bisected the top floor.

"…The farthest one on the left…" By the time Naruto whispered that, Peter was already worried for him. The kid had buried his face in Peter's shoulder, and was tense and twitching like a hunted animal. Then Peter saw why. The specified apartment door was covered in graffiti; saying 'die, demon!' 'Leave Konoha, you don't belong here!' and things like that.

The worst part was how much it covered. All of the curses were in small writing, yet they covered the wall, ceiling, doorframe, and even the door.

Which Peter suddenly realized was wide open and missing a knob.

He quickly set Naruto down next to the door, and began to pull off his backpack.

"Naruto," he whispered. "I don't know what you've been living like, but there are some people in your apartment that I'm going to deal with. Stay here and stay quiet." With that, the older boy eased the door open and entered the apartment as quiet as a mouse.

Or as silent as a spider on the wall.

Once inside, Peter saw two guys taking knives to the furniture. They were filthy, gruff, had on stained wife-beaters and jeans, and were at least a hundred or so pounds over their target weight if you catch my drift.

Taking out the biggest threat first, Peter webbed the knives and yanked them out of the men's hands. The guys spun to face him, and sneered at the newcomer.

"Why'd you stop us?" One of them said. "Don't you know who lives here?"

"Actually I'm from the 'Couch Preservation Society', and I just wanted to make sure you had a warrant before you totally ruined that fine speci-"

"It's the demon's house you dumb shit!" The other guy interrupted Peter, trying to be intimidating. "Y'know, the kid that the Yondaime turned the Kyuubi into?"

Peter questioningly tilted his head. "Actually, I haven't heard that one. D'you guys do storytime?" The men looked only too happy to be asked.

"Well, eight years ago the strongest of the tailed beasts attacked us. The Kyuubi no Kitsune, or Nine-Tailed Fox demon, appeared out of nowhere. Simply out of spite, it started killing our friends and family and destroying our livelihood. But then our Yondaime Hokage turned the fox into an infant child, likely to embarrass the monster as much as possible, so that we his people could kill it easily. But then…" Here the man took on an enraged tone. "Then the bastard fox took over the Sandaime's mind so he would pass a law that forbade us from rubbing the fox's defeat in its face or telling our kids about it under penalty of death."

Peter knew most of that was bullshit. A kid like Naruto actually being a demon fox with nine tails? Not a chance. Hell, he had only known the kid for an hour at most and even he could see the kid's heart of gold. But he would make sure to talk to Sarutobi after all this. In the meantime…

The two men never saw the super-dense ball of webbing they were hit with.

Peter finally got a chance to take in his surroundings. Naruto's apartment was small and in bad shape. The apartment was a 23ftx23ft box. The front door was situated in the back-left corner of the room, with the opposite corner blocked off by a wall. That wall split the room into a ¼ of the square and a ¾ portion. Straight ahead of the door was a little kitchen in extremely poor shape; while to the right were two couches and a coffee table. One couch was simply 'well used' (relatively) while the other was shredded. Past the couches was a window looking at the same cliff-face Peter had seen from his hospital bedroom window, which Sarutobi had called the 'Hokage Monument'.

It was this window Naruto found Peter dropping the intruders out of when he came in.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Naruto screamed, just as Peter let go of the men.

"Ah, Naruto. Didn't I tell you to wait outside?"

"Don't try to distract me!" Naruto yelled, growing a tick mark.

Peter motioned for the boy to calm down.

"Don't worry," he said soothingly. "I webbed them to a window down the row. They'll be fine." Naruto seemed to calm slightly from that, but was still a little upset. Peter went about the business of fixing the place up a little. He webbed the door shut, shoved the shredded couch out the window, and looked through the cabinets to see about making dinner.

He swore he nearly died from the avalanche of instant ramen.

Eventually he got them both fed, and they took their turn with a shower; the bathroom taking up part of the space in the last quarter of the room.

At lights-out time, Naruto realized a dilemma.

"Peter-aniki, where do you want to-"

swipswipswipswipswipswipswipswipswip.

Naruto turned at the interruption, and found Peter in his PJ's lying in a hammock made of webbing.

"You need something Naruto?"

Naruto just laughed and shook his head.

"Nope! Goodnight Peter-aniki!" The younger boy chirped. He climbed into bed, turned off the light, and let sleep overtake him.

He had never slept so soundly before.

And there's chapter one! So yeah, there's lots of stuff that I was trying to cover here. For one, Peter is totally new to the reality so he has no clue what anything is. It was surprisingly difficult to try to convey that, since I had to go through a ridiculous amount of detail (for me) in checking over my work because I couldn't make normal leaps that I could if the character knew what everything was. So back to my thoughts:

I didn't want to spend much time on the Kyuubi attack since hopefully you all know what happened. I think I gave a decent description of the Uzumaki bloodline, but tell me if you just don't get it. Also, Kushina's Fire-Ant variation was something I came up with on the fly. I wanted the variation I used to tie into the 'Red-Hot Habanero' nickname, and fire ant seemed like a good parallel. It won't have much (if anything) to do with how things play out.

Yes, the Shinigami is the first Hokage. Does it matter? No. Will he show up again? Doubtful at the moment. The main reason he was here was that, realistically speaking; a hidden village wouldn't just take in a random person and put him in personal contact with their most powerful weapon. So I needed a reason for Peter to get in. Also, I'm just going to say that Peter was semi-conscious for Hashi during his trip to Konoha, which is how he was told about the time-fluxuation.

I'll try to do some semblance of Spidey's banter, but I doubt I'll do too well. If you feel something else would be better suited (i.e., funnier) drop me a line! Also, if you want a picture of Spiderman and/or Peter Parker, search 'Ultimate spider man Disney XD' for images. That's the one I'm using. I also do not own any of the pictures or the TV series or the design or anything else. Btw, the web-shooters will just be the old-fashioned silver wristband-y ones, not the 'super-duper invisible floating-crosshairs blaster of S.H.I.E.L.D.' ones.

For those of you wondering why Peter didn't react more to the 'Peter-aniki' thing, it's because he doesn't know what any of the suffixes mean. (For those of you in the dark, -aniki means 'big brother'. Later I'll have Peter start calling Naruto 'otouto', or 'little brother')

If you want a bit of a 'Marvel easter-egg', near the end of the 'Avengers' movie (the one with Loki and the Tesseract that came out in 2012(?)) during the end part with the people being interviewed after the final battle, there is one man who says, "Super heroes in New York? That'll never happen" or something like that. That, my friends, is Stan Lee. The 'Father of Marvel'. Apparently what they're doing is putting him everywhere. He's in a whole slew of the Marvel movies, he's the janitor in 'Ultimate Spiderman" (Disney XD), as well as a senator in Ultimate Alliance 2. Personally I think it's just hilarious. I don't own any of the works I just mentioned (movies, quotes, videogames, or TV shows) they belong to whoever owns them (which isn't me).

The spider species name I'm using is the one from the newest Spiderman movie where he faces the Lizard and is played by Andrew Garfield (Again, don't own any of it). I'm calling it the 00spider, but if anyone can come up with a better name for it I'll be happy to change it.

Yes, I put Síkê in here. I won't do anything else with him (unless you all want me to) but I just couldn't resist. One of the ways I came up with the guy was thinking if Spiderman had a partner without an alter ego, what would that entail? So just going back to my roots here. If you don't know who Síkê is, I have a description of him on my profile. The better way to find out though is to read my other story: Lifeboat.

Before you go, here are the pairings I'm willing to consider:

Hinata

Samui

Ino

Fem. Gaara

Fū

Karin

And anybody else if you make a good enough argument. But not Sakura. Absolutely NOT Sakura.

Thanks for reading! Please click that little review button below this; it loves being tickled!