Note: Standard Disclaimers apply. Daria and related characters are the property of MTV/Viacom or whomever has acquired the intellectual property rights. This is Fanfiction, written for fun only. No money, goods or anything of value have been exchanged.

From the Slush Pile

(False start no. 1 College Cookery with Jane and Daria: Originally an experimental start for Roomies. I decided that this was too stupid. Even I wouldn't have humored Jane this much.}

Daria looked in the bag, frowning. "I thought we agreed- no more food roulette."

"I can't eat any more instant ramen, at least for another week."

"Hey, at least it's better than buying these bargain bags of unlabeled canned goods. You realize that this stuff came from Third World countries, right? And that they didn't want it?"

"It's all guaranteed to be people food. No pet food," Jane huffed. "Wait. Did they say that, or was I asking that?"

"Hey, this one still has part of a label on it. It's either something they advertise with this picture of this happy donkey, or it's happy donkey meat."

"You know, don't you think it's kinda creepy how they sometimes use cartoony pictures of the animals that they make into food, and how they show them all happy? I mean, they would be insane or something, since they're about to be eaten. Or encouraging us to eat their brethren."

"That would be like cows with BSE."

"Ewww! Okra, I think," Jane frowned, dumping the contents of a random can into a pan.

"Told you," smirked Daria.

"Shaddup. Hand me that beany looking can."

"I think we should make this more exciting," Daria mused. "We could number the cans and roll dice."

"Okay, looks like giant corn," Jane said, relieved. "Close enough."

"I think that's hominy. Starchy, and not much protein. Do we want to go for three cans?"

"Sure, let's splurge." Jane covered her eyes and rummaged in the bag. "Come on, meat."

"I'm supposed to be a smart girl," Daria deadpanned, "And here I am, pretending I'm stuck in a bomb shelter with you. Without a flashlight."

"Ick. It's some kind of fruit. Looks like eyeballs in syrup."

"Lychee, I think, or rambutan. Pretty good for dessert," Daria shrugged. "But still no protein. Wanna go run over a squirrel?"

"Where did you put that can of donkey meat?"

(…and that's where I decided to cut my losses. The squirrel still made it into the Roomies opening.)