Title: Truths about Hanako

Summery: Hyugga Hanako is a proud woman, with a few skeletons in the closet, like who she was before this life.

1) Hanako was a clown in her first life, killed by her past when it creeped up on her. She reacts with joy at being reincarnated, until she realizes where she is. Then she freaks. Being stuck in a manga was not what she thought would happen after she died.

2) Hanako was born five minutes after Hiashi, and three after Hizashi. Her name was chosen because they honestly had been shocked by her appearance and named her after the first thing they saw, which was a bouquet of flowers.

3) Hanako finds that humor is the best way to stay sane, and as such, acts like an idiot, even at the age of one. That it makes her brothers laugh, is the reason she hams it up in front of them. She loves the idea that she has brothers, because she never, ever had siblings in her first life. She wants to make them smile as much as possible.

4) When Hizashi gets the caged bird seal, she is left alone. Being female, she is Main House, because they can use her if they need to. She is a bargining chip to the council, and to her father. If she wishes, she may get the seal later. No one thinks she will though. Who wants that on their heads?

5) After the seal is placed, her brothers turn cold, even at age four. She is the only one who remains the same, mocking them, the Elders, the clan and herself. She makes a vow that she will always do her best to make her brothers smile. She succeeds every single time, much to her joy. And if the Elders hate her because of it, she honestly doesn't care. Their all a bunch of ice cold pricks anyway.

6) Hanako has trained for much longer than her brothers, from before her birth. She's killed before them, and has the mentality of a shinobi already. She pretends to be an idiot, and that she's weaker then them. They are the future of the clan while she is just Hanako, their sister. So, while she can beat her brothers into the ground, she does not.

She never knew that they knew she held back. They just never said anything.

7) Hanako fully realizes the large future she faces, when she joins the academy. She becomes the class clown the next day. The Elders pull their hair out, as she pranks the teachers, taunts jonin, and messes with everyone. She's a disgrace to them, she should be acting like a true Hyugga.

She's just trying to survive the only way she knows how.

8) Her first real kill in her first life, was when she was seven, and she bashed the head in of a man trying to rape her. Her first kill in her second life occurs when Kumo realizes that there is a female Main House member. They make the same mistake they will in the future, but instead of her father trying to save her, like Hiashi will save her niece in the future, it's her who breaks the neck of the man trying to kidnap her.

She has never regretted either death.

9) When she meets Minato, she makes it a goal in life to see if she can make him mad, because he's always happy and smiling. So, she teases him, pranks him, mocks him loudly, but he always just laughs it off. She knows she can make him angry if she's mean, but she won't.

She may love teasing people, but she is not a bully.

10) Hanako makes her first friend, first real one anyway, when Kushina comes to Konoha. Hanako never calls her tomato, instead she calls her 'Red', a silly name, but Kushina finds it nicer then Tomato. Hanako is still a clown, but when Kushina needs her to, she stops messing around, and helps her with her work, or trains with her.

Hanako isn't really sure why she does it, she just does.

11) Hiashi and Hizashi are her brothers, and her friends. She loves them, and they love her, but sometimes she just feels old around them. She has blood already on her hands, they don't. They don't know it was her who killed the man who tried to kidnap her, they don't know that in her past life, she had been a killer, turned clown once she realized that she was stuck in a never ending cycle of death. Hanako feels like an old woman around her brothers, and she hates it

12) When she ends up on a team with Minato, she finds that teasing him about his looks for hours on end, will make him mad. And she thinks that she is really lucky she's as fast as she is, because Minato has really good aim. She keeps doing it though, laughing the entire time. Jiraiya wonders why on earth he got the crazy Hyugga.

It takes him a month to realize she's as smart as Minato, as talented as her brothers, and as good at reading people as he is. He asks her why she acts like she does, and she responds; 'I like to make people laugh.' He isn't sure what she means, not at first anyway.

13) Hanako make her second kill in this life, when she kills a man trying to kill her other teammate, Kenji. It's during a mission, and Kenji doesn't see the man, until Hanako moves, killing the man with one strike. She kills five other men that mission, no trace of her normal humor on her face.

As soon as everything is done, she begins to crack jokes about Minato's hair. No one comments on it, and they simply go on, Minato taking offense after an hour, and trying to skewer her. Jiraiya buys Hanako a joke book, which she loves, and begins to plot some of the pranks. The Elders are informed of what happened, and they look at her with new eyes.

She pranks them hard that night, and they yell at her for it. Everything is normal now.

14) Minato at first, finds Hanako annoying, but he ends up considering her a friend. She still mocks him endlessly, but now she also gives insight on seals, and helps him with his feelings about Kushina. Hanako considers him a friend, because he's the only guy she knows who can have an intelligent talk with her, that isn't related to her or older than her.

15) Hanako requests the Seal when she turns fourteen. The Elders agree right away, relieved that she wouldn't disgrace them as a Main House member anymore. Everyone thinks she's crazy, but honestly she doesn't care. Jiraiya tries to figure out a way to remove the Seal, while her brothers ask her why she asked for it.

She shrugs, and goes on with life, making the Elders even angrier at her, because she refuses to cover her Seal. She wears it proudly, and still mocks her brothers, and acts like an idiot on the best of days.

16) It is her team who learn why first, completely by accident. They're out on a mission, when they run into a prostitute who flirts outrageously with them, flashing her cleavage. It is then that Hanako learns the whole nosebleed thing actually exists in the Naruto world and her teammates learn about her sexuality.

17) She admits it was an arranged marriage she was avoiding, by getting the Seal put on her. Only Main House woman are treated like cattle, being sold to the highest bidder for marriage prospects. She gets the seal, because she's a romantic. She will never take a lover on the side. When she loves, she loves with her whole heart.

Her teammates accept her, though Kenji seems sad about it, while Jiraiya grins at her, and begins to tease her about getting a nosebleed over the woman. She counteracts with telling him that at least she doesn't have to peek through the bathhouse walls to oggle woman.

Not that she would oggle in the baths. She has much more class than that.

18) She tells her brothers, because her teammates press her to, though she doesn't understand why. She likes girls, there is nothing to it. When her brothers shrug, and say they always knew, they just think she's crazy for willingly getting the Seal, she laughs at the faces of her teammates.

They really were off on that one.

19) Hanako loves facepaint. She used it all the time as a clown, and continue to use it. One day, while bored, she paints her teammates faces, and her own. She paints hers to look like Jiraiya, Minato becomes a male Tsunade, and Kenji becomes Orchimaru, even though she really hates the snake man.

The three of them run around Konoha, laughing. Everyone is way to use to her antics, but her teammates are a surprise. Her brothers, once again, call her crazy. She responds by paint their faces while they sleep, and hiding the soap made to take it off. Her brothers chased her around for five hours after that, because she made them into clowns.

She ends up half dead with the beating they give her for it, but she has never regretted it. It is just way to much fun.

20) She is still friends with Kushina, the two playing pranks, eating ramen, and messing with Minato more then they should. Kushina is the most angry about her Seal, but she understands why she got it. Hiashi and Hizashi both ask her if the two are dating, which makes Hanako snort. Kushina is her friend, nothing more. Besides, she'll marry the Fourth. And Hanako will be there to taunt her friends, and help raise their kids. She'll make sure they survive in this world.

21) When Kushina is taken, Hanako runs after Minato. The redhead is her friend. SHe will help.

They follow the red hairs, and they lead the two to Kushina, being taken by Kumo nin. Minato moves faster then her, and manages to kill most of them, while she on the other hand, destroys a nin's heart, and another's lungs. She watches, as Kushina and Minato have the moment, struck by an odd feeling in her chest. She ignores it, and instead, mocks Kushina for falling for 'Mina-chan's good looks!' Kushina is almost as good as Minato with aiming, as Hanako is forced to run like hell away from the two.

She laughs the entire time.

22) Hanako begins to learn the tricks of a spymaster when she is sixteen. Jiraiya finds her perfect to take that aspect over, while Minato is the one to inherit the Toads and seals. Kenji learns seals and spying, but not to the extent that Hanako and Minato learn.

Hanako finds it amusing, that things she learned as a clown, how to read people, how to predict the best way to make them laugh, can be so useful for a spymaster.

23) She is eighteen, and unofficially Konoha's second spymaster. She has gathered spies around the countries, from missions she is taken on by Jiraiya, tailored for that purpose. She still has the same sense of humor, and enjoys messing with her friends heads to much. Kenji is an ANBU now, and the two chat regularly.

She's even dating, a beautiful Hyugga, far enough away she doesn't feel weird dating her. Yuki is the second most beautiful woman in the village to Hanako, and she loves her. But she isn't sure she will ever love her.

24) She thinks Minato is handsome. Hanako has never been attracted to men before, so she is curious about these feelings. She watches as he and Kushina both date, laughing, and how they interact with one another. Each time, she feels the odd feeling, but it isn't jealousy, it's something else. Everything is just plain confusing, so she ignores it.

25) Despite the intelligence she gathered, Hatake Sakumo still starts another war. She groans, but accepts that somethings, you just can't change. No matter what. Instead, she teases Minato about his new apprentice, Kakashi, and how he'll need a male influence in his life.

Her skills in dodging have increased, as has his skill in aim.

26) Yuki is betrothed to Hiashi. She is far enough away that there will be no mutations due to inbreeding, and she is strong enough for it to be a good match. Both beg her forgiveness and she gives it. Yuki looks at her with sad eyes, and she returns the sad smile. Minato, Jiraiya and Kushina are all outraged, Kenji right behind them when he returns home from a mission. Hanako simply shrugs, and accepts the fact Yuki and her will never be together again.

She is hurt by it, but while she loved Yuki, she hadn't given the woman her heart.

27) It is after the death of Sakumo, when she realizes what her feelings for her best friends are. She watches Minato comfort Kakashi, as Kushina makes supper, and feels it deep in her chest.

She will never say what it is.

28) Kenji dies, a month before she is thirty. He's killed in a small battle, and it is one of her cousins that bring him back. She joins Jiraiya and Minato in getting smashed, the three of them telling stories about their teammates, Hanako joking around for a few hours, before she breaks, sobbing into her arms, as Minato hugs her. Jiraiya has already made plans, finding their teammates killer easily. Some jonin who thought killing the teammate of the Yellow Flash would break him.

He never knew what hit him, having the Yellow Flash, one of the Sannin, and a Hyuuga after him. They didn't find enough of him to put into a thimble.

They got drunk again, but this time, Hanako's jokes did not run out, even when they went right into the gutter. She got Minato to blush, and gave Jiraiya ideas.

29) When Uchiha Obito graduates, she snatches him up, along with Maito Gai and Sarutobi Asuma. The last two were an accident, but she did plan on grabbing Obito. Her logic is very simple with it: Keep him away from the bridge mission, and there will be no Tobi running around, thus, Minato and Kushina live.

The last part made her the most giddy.

30) She maintains that it is not her fault Obito learned that prank, she just left her book out. Gai likes green, why on earth is it her fault her wears a green jumpsuit? Sure, she pointed out the store, but she didn't make him go in there. And no, she is not responsible for Asuma finding out how to slip things into the piles on the Hokage's desk, like blank pieces of paper under genjutsu that turn back into blank pieces when signed with a pen. All she did was mention that the secretary was often annoyed by the Hokage skipping out on paperwork, and wanted a bit of pay back.

However, she does claim the Sunset Jutsu is her fault, because, yeah it is.

31) Hanako proudly claims that the only person who ever made Kakashi speechless was her own student, Gai. She brags about it constantly, taunting Minato with the knowledge, though she herself was shocked.

He beat Nara Shikaku at shogi. She never knew he was that smart.

32) The Elders all disapprove of how she teaches her students. They are especially disapproving of her teaching 'the runt Uchiha who isn't worth the time it takes to say his name.' In response, she does an early morning practice in the compound, with Gai hyped up on sugar.

Of course, Asuma slipping him coffee made it even worse, for her as well, but hey, she was proud he was looking out for a teammate. She just hopes he won't burst her ear drums next time.

33) She goes drinking with Minato and Jiraiya regularly. She picks up girls there to, never really knowing what she's looking for, just searching. Jiraiya laughs, and slaps her shoulder, proclaiming her just like her sensei. Minato remarks she shouldn't be exactly like Jiraiya, she had to much class for that.

She laughs with them, though she is often pained by the smile she puts on. It doesn't seem like anyone has really noticed though.

34) The only student of hers who sucks at spywork is Obito. Asuma is very perceptive, and can figure out who did something, if you just give him time and the clues. Gai can interpreter body language swiftly, and can mimic it to a frightening degree. Hanako knows Obito could one day be one of the best actors in the world.

It's a bit of a pity he won't, but she refuses to let him go through that. She will never let him be hurt like that, she won't let any of her kids be hurt like that.

35) She's rather certain Gai has a crush on Obito. She's not certain though, and keeps an eye on it. Later she figures he's more into Kakashi. Later, she thinks he likes Asuma.

After a month, she gives up trying to figure out her students love lives. Preteens are just crazy, and she really doesn't want to know anymore. She really doesn't.

She also really wants to get the freaking image out of her head of her students. Yes, she knows they are legally old enough to sleep with people, and thirteen is when hormones start, so it's not biologically ridiculous...

She just really, really didn't want to know.

36) She does crack a few jokes about it, but she's just mostly confused. Minato is to, thought Gai just looks smug. Brat probably knew about it all along. Kakashi is weirded out, and Rin gets a nosebleed from it.

The Hokage takes Obito aside, and threatens the teen within an inch of his life, terrifying the boy. The Uchiha keep smirking when they hear about the fact Uchiha Obito and Sarutobi Asuma are dating.

Rin is a little releaved he is no longer chasing after her. There's a red eyed girl who looks disappointed, and Hanako winces, just a bit.

Is she really screwing with canon this much?

37) Due to Obito's spy skills being nonexistent, she often lends him to Minato for missions when she has to go on high risk ones. Her other two students are under the mercy of her old sensei.

She totally understands the fact they TP her house... and slip laxatives into her food. She doesn't let them get her, but yeah, she understands. She'd be going after herself with sharp pointy sticks.

38) She only learns later what happened. A spy had been overlooked. He hid her reports about the area around the bridge being full of enemy ninja.

She had been off on her own mission, when Obito left for the bridge. She didn't know until she came back.

She looks at Kakashi in horror when he tells her what happened, his eye covered, and his other wet. Rin stands with him, tears in her eyes.

She runs, not looking back.

39) Gai finds her, in a bar and drunk off her ass. She mutters when he drags her out, about the future she knows may, could... will happen, unless she figures a way around it.

He thinks she's just drunk and forget about it. She wishes her student had believed it then.

40) Asuma hates Kakashi and Rin, refuses to look at them. Hanako sits with him, and they just talk. Gai tries to help them, but they are broken, just a little.

Minato, Kushina, Jiraiya... they try to put her back together, but she's like Humpty Dumpty.

She can never be put back together.

39) ROOT members don't have feelings. They don't have fear nor do they find people terrifying.

Hyuuga Hanako is the exception to this rule. She herself tortured the spy who got Obito killed for forty hours straight, using salt, a knife, and pliers. She let her students have a crack at him, and they used a saw and her tools. She then let Kakashi and Rin at him. Kakashi used his sharingan.

After that, she threatened Danzo to rip his organization wide open unless he kept the spy in the compound, and let his 'recruits' work him over. Danzo agreed, would have even without the threat, and the spy is kept alive through medic nin, often trainees. For thirteen years, the spy will be kept alive. He will finally die of the strain of being healed over and over again, a week before a chunnin exam.

ROOT are terrified of Hanako, and she quite enjoys their fear.

40) A month after Obito 'dies' the war is won. Hanako has a bitter taste in her mouth from it. She trains Asuma and Gai hard, often dragging Kakashi onto missions with the two, claiming his eye could be the perfect spying tool.

Minato lets her. Rin is left alone, a part of her glad. Hanako isn't cruel in her dislike, she just can't stop thinking, when she sees the girl, that Obito becoming Tobi is her fault. He hasn't done so, and if Hanako has any say, he never will. She just can't help her dislike.

Obito could become Tobi, and she's looking at the girl who can cause it.

41) A year after his 'death' Hanako goes to the place Obito was buried. in her hands she holds two dango sticks. She eats one, and burns the other. She stands there, eyes closed, for a long time, before she says, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you." to her student, leaving. She has never been back, and avoids the place like the plague.

42) It happens when she's on a mission, the three boys tagging along. They get ambushed on the way back, and while they fight, she hears them remark 'the girl isn't with them.' She knows exactly what's happening now, and all she can do is smugly think she screwed up Madara's plans now. Take that, you stupid swirly eyed-

She's careless, stupidly so. She had a genjutsu hiding her eyes on, and she couldn't activate her eyes without distorting it. So she didn't, though she knows she should. She just forgets.

She hears a scream, and she turns, to see Asuma lying on the forest floor.

She sees red.

43) He's alive, barely. Just barely. She sits in the hospital room, unable to move, unable to think. He's hurt, bad. He'll loose his eye, and unlike Kakashi there is no replacement there for him.

She wants to scream.

44) She remembers little from the night before, just that she drank a lot. Kushina and Minato had joined her in her drinking binge... and then...

She turns to see the red haired woman and the blonde man laying in the bed beside her. All three of them are naked, and she does know what sex with a man feels like...

She leaves before they wake, vowing never ever to say anything about this, to anyone.

45) She's a fluke in this world. If she had never died the way she had, Hanako would have died as an embryo, and been absorbed by Hiashi. But she's there and alive, alive and well.

Her pregnancy is a fluke as well. There are no souls for her children, so they steal them. Two souls, stolen before they could reach the wombs of their parents.

Hanako only figures that out when she's managing the adoption. She's horrified, but loves her child even more, as she watches the parents who lost their children early on.

She tells herself splitting up her children is okay, she knows one day they can be together again, as teammates.

She still cries a little inside.

46) She wants to keep her children, really she does, but she's a spymaster, and everyone knows it. It isn't safe for her children. Not for her babies, to be known as her children. Minato and Kushina don't know about their night together, she knows that, so she can't turn to them. Nor would she. Her babies would be in just as much danger if she approached them with it.

She loves her children, that's why she pretends she had a miscarriage. That's why she pretends the children in their adoptive parents arms, neither bearing the Byakugan. She thanks Kami, as she hands them over. She gets to name them to, but it isn't to hard to do so.

She already knows who they will be.

47) Her family and friends, and her students, all mourn her children. Minato and Kushina do most of all, as Jiraiya looks at her, with a heavy heart, and knowing eyes.

Too knowing eyes.

Gai and Asuma, who is out of bed, but is still missing that one eye, both stay with her, as she cries. She doesn't cry over the deaths of her children, but she does cry over losing them.

48) She had teased Hizashi endlessly for getting his girlfriend pregnant out of wedlock. Everyone thought she was pregnant on a mission gone wrong, so she only gets a few scowls from him. When it is time for the birth, she watches earnestly, waiting, with bated breath, to see what would happen.

Little Neji is born as his mother takes his last breath. Hanako swears, as she holds the little boy, that she will never let him go through the pain he may go through.

Never.

49) She smiles and laughs, and hugs Kushina when she admits she's pregnant, despite the fact Hanako is screaming inside. Naruto will be born soon.

Naruto. As in, prophecy child. As in, Kyubbi being unleashed.

She prays the fact Asuma is alive will stall Tobi (he's not Obito anymore. Not to her). Asuma can't use his left arm anymore, but he's still a ninja. He's still powerful. She smile is brittle as Minato becomes Hokage, and her two friends plan their marriage.

She cries a little, watching them be happy together, without her.

50) She had never been in love before. So, knowing that her feelings for her best friends expanded that far was a shocker. Knowing they would never feel the same way just broke her, as she watched them.

She throws herself into sex, forcing herself to ignore her feelings, not really noticing that her picks are all the same, blonde or red headed woman. If she couldn't get the hair, it was blue or green eyes.

Only one person notices, as she stumbled back to her apartment, after a long night of sex. And he never says anything.

He understood.

51) She never really had anything to do with Orochimaru much. He was always off in his 'lair' as she jokingly calls it. So, when he starts hanging around her, mostly to point out flaws in some of her teaching methods, she gets confused. She knows what he was, but had never gotten proof of it, so having him around often makes her nervous, but he doesn't seem to be aggressive towards her or anything, so she tended to ignore it.

She actually finds him funny, if a bit... odd.

She never admits it though. Jiraiya pouted enough because of how people always seemed to like the snake sannin.

52) Somethings are meant to happen. Each day, people are meant to wake up and get ready. They are meant to live, to breath, to learn, to listen...

Somethings are meant to be, no matter how hard people fight against it. So, when a masked ninja attacks Hanako, Minato and Kushina as little Naruto is delivered, Hanako is shocked, and horrified her precautions meant nothing, having laid seals everywhere on the compound to protect the people she loves.

She throws herself into the fight, but, she hesitates. Even now, she knows who he is, and can't... she can't...

She can't kill him. Not Obito. Not her little Obito-chan.

She isn't sure how it happens, but she's thrown against a wall, and knocked out rather swiftly. She only comes to in the morning.

And it's to late.

53) She can't... can't... fucking hell, she has to leave.

Her children are orphans, their parents dead from the Kyuubi and she can't claim them, nor can she slip the knowledge to her brothers. She's Branch house. She can't let the seal happen to them. She'd rather them dead.

She can't look at Naruto without crying, she can't face Kakashi, the only remaining member of team seven now, Rin dead from the assault by the beast as well.

She runs, leaving the village, tagging along with her sensei. She just... she just can't. Not now... maybe not ever.

54) Before she left, Hanako found something interesting in the wreckage of the file office. Something she stared at for a full ten minutes before she hid it away in her pocket, only to be looked at later.

She silently swore to keep it a secret.

55) Hanako isn't to shocked to hear about what Orochimaru did, when it reaches their ears. Jiraiya on the other had, drags the two to a bar, and they get smashed right away.

She won't turn that down.

56)Ninja aren't very trusting people, spymasters most of all. So, to fully trust someone enough to get rip roaring drunk around them, is a very large compliment. Hence why when Jiraiya got so smashed he could barely walk straight, Hanako was rather complimented... and then he began talking.

57) Spymasters are the most treasonous ninja in the world. By the time Hanako was twenty-two, she'd already sold Konoha's secrets ten times. Now that she's in her thirties, she's sold some at least a hundred times, and she's kept a fair few important secrets to herself.

Jiraiya is even worse then her. He'd sold a thousand secrets and kept hundreds more, one of them: He'd always known what Orochimaru was doing.

58) "And you never said anything?" she wasn't judging. One of her secrets was that Obito was alive... and he was the one who ripped the fox out of Kushina.

"Could you turn in one of the people you love?"

"...Love?"

"Yes, love... fuck. I loved them both, but neither loved me. She was to busy with her medical jutsu, and then with Dan, and then she left... and now he's gone to." Jiraiya didn't cry, but did throw one of the sake bottles at the wall. "I love them both."

"...I understand." And she could, damn it. She understood perfectly, way to perfectly.

"We even slept together, once. All of us drunk and horny and they were so beautiful together... black and blonde, so pretty and perfect... skin..." Jiraiya's eyes glazed over as Hanako watched, her eyes widening a bit, as a piece of paper burned into her memory. "Tsunade was pregnant after that. Knew it from the look of her... kept it quite, never told us, but we knew. Then... the baby was stillborn, and she ran off with Dan."

But... it wasn't stillborn...

59) Hanako became the greatest, yet worse spymaster in the world that night. She's the greatest, because she now holds a secret that can topple the sannin. It can utterly destroy them, if she told even one of them. She could control them with her secret, she could make Konoha be the most powerful village again, by regaining the loyalty of Orochimaru with just one sentence.

But she won't. She respect each sannin to much to use this against them. And that's why she's the worse. Because she will never tell anyone the secret.

60) She gives a few secrets herself that night, a secret for a secret: She was in love with her best friends. She had two children with them, something he already knows.

The two of them are alive, that she shares as well. Jiraiya is shocked by her deception, but understands. They are spymasters, after all.

She doesn't say that Obito is alive. She doesn't say who her children are. She doesn't say that Jiraiya's son, because that is who is was, even if the father was never determined, lived, but died in the attack.

She doesn't tell him about his grandchildren. Nor does she tell him that...

Orochimaru felt the same way.

61) She stands in front of the grave, unable to say anything. All she does is hold her nephews shoulders tightly. There is no body, no ashes... there is nothing left of Hizashi. A deep stabbing pain hits her, as she stands there.

If only she had stayed in Konoha. If only she'd come home sooner. If only she hadn't been so overcome with guilt and pain.

If only. If only. If only...

62) She stalks her family, all of them, for days after that, keeping an eye on her nephew, and her little niece, the niece she missed the birth for. Hiashi and Yuki understand though, Yuki giving her this sad, sad look.

She stalks her children, her little boy with his blue eyes, that would have been brown if everything went right. Her little girl, with her blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. She stalks Naruto, arranging for a single apartment, with ANBU watch once she'd spied enough on the caretaker assigned to him, and thrown the woman into T&I.

She isn't to surprised to see the grey hair of Minato's student. This was the only way he managed to even see the ball of sunshine. She pats him on the head, and goes off, to stalk Gai and Asuma, who know she's there, the brats.

They leave her dango though!

63) Killer B... well, she finds him downright hilarious, and fun, though she does glare, and bare her teeth at him.

He just laughs at her, so she pulls a prank. She may be over thirty, but she still can prank with the best. Of course, he gives as good as he gets, and a mini prank war starts. She doesn't tell anyone, he is Kumo after all, though he does let it slip that his brother pretty much flayed the men alive who had masterminded that scheme, which is good.

She likes B, she doesn't want to have to beat him unconscious.

64) It's his birthday, Naruto's. She spots a frog change purse in a store and buys it without a second thought. The Hokage huffs that she got to it first, much to her amusement.

He did, though he never really will know.

65) She never managed to get a shinobi spy anywhere near Orochimaru, but she isn't shocked he had one on her... nor is she really shocked when he jumped her.

No, not really anyway.

66) She breaks her vow, as the blade is held against her neck.

"Your son lived past his birth." she offers in exchange for her life. She doesn't want to die, her kids are to young, she hasn't written out a proper will... Naruto needs to be taken care of, her brother needs her to be strong. Neji needs her...

"What?"

"He lived past his birth. Danzo stole him, and placed him with another family, replacing your babe with a stillborn." she says.

"Is he alive? Where is he?" he knows she speaks the truth. It isn't in her nature to be cruel like that.

"His name was Namizake Minato."

67) Hanako is secretly amused by the fact Orochimaru actually was giddy by the fact he had a grandchild, after his horror that his son had died sealing the Kyuubi into Naruto. She's let go after she swears to pass on some Intel on Naruto.

She's also let go because she loved Minato to.

68) She is not at all surprised to find three gifts on her kitchen table. No, really, she's not. Orochimaru had people following her, and they must have seen her care for her twins. Him knowing that he had two other grandchildren wasn't bad... especially when a ninja who mocked her son disappeared. That was very nice of the sannin.

69) Lee frowned as he picked up a stuffed slug that had appeared on his bed. He often got little gifts from a mysterious source, but it always confused him. Shrugging, the blue eyed boy hugged the toy. It was quite soft.

Tenten loved her toad. It was big and squishy and fun! She grinned, hugging it to her chest happily.

Naruto loved his snake. He liked toads more, but snakes where cool to! All slimy and fun and slithery.

70) The Uchiha Massacure was something that had been boiling over for years. Even as Hanako struggled to keep it from tipping, the sad truth was that it wasn't something she herself could stop. So, she watched as the balance tipped, and it began.

She had known Itachi from a few babysitting missions given to her genin. She knew him, though not enough. It didn't stop her from embracing the boy though, hugging him to her chest as he cried, after it happened.

She hugged him, even though he was still covered in blood, cursing herself for not being strong enough, not being smart enough...

For failing.

71) Lee still has his chakra trouble, to no surprise of Hanako. Most Hyuuga breed with each other, so there are cases of when one breeds with a nonclan member, something going wrong in the end. Tenten has no adverse side affects, much to Hanako's relief.

Orochimaru, upon hearing of his eldest grandson's troubles, throws himself into research. Hanako just gives Lee some scrolls on taijutsu.

72) She makes sure Mizuki is thrown out of the academy as soon as she can. He will not hurt Naruto, not while she breaths. Orochimaru is put out, until he learns of the contempt the silver haired man has for Naruto.

He takes pleasure in tormenting him then.

73) Lee and Tenten are placed with their cousin, Neji. Hanako finds great pleasure in the fact this placement means she can hang out with her kids with no suspicion. After all, she's just visiting her old student and her nephew!

74) The night after they are confirmed as genin, Lee and Tenten both find a scroll on their beds. Tenten has one with a lesson on chakra strings, while Lee's contains a taijutsu style suited for him.

Hanako wonders how Orochimaru managed to sneak those in, without her knowing.

75) "I suppose you know I know."

"I suppose I do know you know."

"...Is there any point in me training any of you?"

"No, there is not sensei."

"...Well, might as well try!" Hanako grins at her students, mentally cursing the Hokage for sticking her with them. "I'm going to teach you guys a few tricks for when it's stupid to try and use chakra, but you still have to disguise yourself!" she slung her arm around Kabuto's shoulders and dragged him off, cackling mentally.

He was going to look so good in drag.

76) Hanako managed to slip the Kage Bushin jutsu to Naruto, thanks to Kabuto. She got along with the silver haired boy, though she did take some pleasure in tormenting him. Just a bit.

To be fair, he took pleasure in tormenting her to. It was a fun little game they played.

77) Kakashi was quite happy to be Naruto's sensei, after years of being his silent guard. As soon as Naruto was confirmed as a genin, she slipped him a scroll on seals.

He found the explosive ones the most fun.

She's fairly certain the Hokage has the warrant out for her arrest after that, but she doesn't really care. She finds it hilarious.

78) Wave never happens, but she herself goes and cleans up Gato. Zabuza and Haku both die, but she honestly can't care to much. They were criminals, after all. She's just glad she managed to find a way to completely destroy the body. No hair or cells left for that technique.

79) She slips her kids a few scrolls before the chunin exams. One of them is how to negate a wind attack, another is a scroll written by a philosopher about how you shouldn't keep going when your opponent is to strong, and another is a scroll on chakra control.

She will make sure her kids make chunin, damn it.

80) She's there, at the fights. All it takes is a quick application of chakra to the machine, to mess with it just slightly. Tenten stills gets Temari, but this time, beats her. Naruto still gets Kiba, and the outcome is the same, but he has more clones to spam.

Lee though, he gets Kankuro, and beats him soundly. Hanako watches as Gaara crushes Doku in a second, not giving a shit. He was trying to hurt her kid.

81) "Lee is strong." Orochimaru says, sneaking up behind her. She nods, smiling.

"He's a great kid, one of the best." Hanako says. "Naruto and Tenten are great to."

"...I don't often use Kusanagi often." Orochimaru says, shrugging. "I prefer ninjutsu..."

"If she makes chunin." Hanako chuckles. Orochimaru laughs a bit as well.

"And Naruto?"

"Jiraiya is in town. Minato summoned Toads, only makes sense it goes to Naruto."

"...Do you think Tenten or Lee would like snakes?"

"Can Lee summon?"

"He can use seals, right? If I make a personal summon seal, and only bind it to one..."

"...It could work, but he doesn't..."

"... I forgot."

"...I do sometimes to."

82) The invasion happens, and it is one of her most traitorous moments, when she doesn't stop it. Instead, she stalks her kids. They are safe, or as safe as they can be.

She wants to scream at Naruto, to scold him for being so stupid, but she doesn't. Instead, she watches as he takes on Gaara. She prays he's okay, that he's safe... and he is.

She stills wants to hit him upside the head.

83) The Hokage is dead, and really? She doesn't care. She never really liked him anyway. The only reason she cries is because she watches Asuma cry.

84) She leaves the village, gathering intel, and thus, misses Itachi and Kisame. She beats herself up about it, feeling cross that she made such a stupid mistake.

85) She really, really hates Kabuto, as she stands before the new Hokage. What kind of idiot leaves those kind of notes out?!

I bet this is payback for me making him dress like a girl. she thought, as she sighed, and waited.

"Why was he looking for ways to help Lee, on Orochimaru's orders, and told to report to you?" it's only curtosey that she isn't in a cell.

"You, Jiraiya-sensei-" she nods the white haired man, "And Orochimaru all had a one night stand together. A child was created, and you were led to believe he was stillborn."

"Led to believe?" Jiraiya demanded. Hanako took a breath, and nodded.

"He was taken by Danzo, and hidden. He grew up, and had a one night stand with me while drunk." Jiraiya choked on his own breath. "I had two children, who I placed in different homes for their own protection, hiding the fact they were alive. Later on, your son went on to have another child, before dying in the Kyubi attack.

"Who was he?" Tsunade demands, her voice tight and controlled. Her hands shook though, showing her true thoughts.

"Namikaze Minato."

86) She finds it funny, really, that Tusnade is in love with her ex-teammates just as much as they love her and each other. She can tell, because of the way she looks at Jiraiya, as the two talk about the recent discovery.

A part of her wonders, deep in her soul, if she wasn't as alone in her love for her friends as she thought.

87) Hanako isn't to shocked at the anger in Naruto, Lee and Tenten as they learn the truth. Gai is horrified at what his sensei has done, but he understands. All ninja know that spymasters are the most at risk ninja, especially for the ones who have families. But her children don't know it. They are to young to know.

Her children are angry at her, and she accepts it. They are angry at their grandfather, and she understands it.

It just hurts.

88) She has not done anything illegal. She only provided info on his own grandchildren to Orochimaru, and while she hid a secret, that isn't illegal. So, she's let off.

Danzo isn't so lucky.

89) Sasuke leaves the village, even through the efforts of his age mates. Naruto curses his grandfather, as he sits, waiting for his brother to wake up after nearly being beaten to death.

Hanako idly mentions Orochimaru would have killed the bone user himself if he learned of it. Naruto ignores her, but Tenten gives a quick nod to her.

It's progress.

90) The reactions of Hiashi, Hinata, the Elders and Neji is funny as hell. Hanako is cackling at their looks, while Naruto is ginning like a fox. Tenten is just sighing, as Lee loudly tells Neji he is happy to have him as a cousin!

91) Naruto leaves, and she trains her other two children, the twins moving in sync. It seems as if they are not as apart as they thought. She trains them to go for pressure points, helping them make a style not unlike the Gentle Fist.

She cackles when the Elders learn about it. Their faces were priceless.

92) "Hey kiddos!" Hanako cheers, sauntering into the training ground, grinning. "Now, you know October tenth is Naruto's birthday, right?"

"Yeah. We were going to get baa-chan to send him a gift through a slug." Tenten says. "Is oji-chan sending anything?"

"I think so. He hasn't missed a year yet." says Hanako. "But, I have a surprise!"

"What is is?" Lee asks, stopping his jumping jacks.

"I know where they'll be on October tenth, and I talked it over with Jiraiya-sensei, and Gai, and Tsunade-sama... we're going to go see him!" The twins cheered a bit, eager to see their little brother.

"Thank you okaa-chan!" Lee cheers, before he runs off to pack, Tenten following. Hanako freezes, eyes wide, before a grin over takes her face, and she whops in delight, running off to tackle Hiashi, and give him a noogie, giddy about her son calling her mother. She even brags to Hizashi's grave, grinning the entire time.

93) It takes a while, but soon, she's the okaa-san for all three. Kushina is kaa-san for them, and Minato is Tou-san. Tsunade and Jiraiya are as happy as she is, though sadness is in their hearts.

They are missing one more to be happy, like she is missing two.

93) She's lucky, she reflects. She lost the two she loved, and never knew if they loved her back. It's painful, and she still has never gotten over it, but it's easier then what the sannin have. They are all still alive, and all still believe that there is no love between any of them. She's lucky, because while she is in pain, she does not hurt as much as they do.

So, when she hugs Naruto to her chest, as he cries into her shoulder, his story spewing from his lips about his own love for two, she prays that he will either break the cycle, or end up like her. Because she will never wish that pain on anyone.

95) Hanako always eats salt ramen on July 10. She eats two bowls, one calmly, one shoveling the food in like a ravenous dog. On January 25 she digs out an old recipe book, and cooks up a simple meal. She eats half calmly, the next with grace. Sometimes, Kakashi or Jiraiya joins her. On each day, she reads the Tale of A Gutsy Ninja. She has never missed a year, and her children, after they learned her tradition, never have either.

96) Orochimaru knows his grandson's feelings, how can he not? So, he freely looks the other way when he hears of Sasuke's plans to kill him.

He prays, like Hanako, that this love story has a happy ending.

97) Time runs by her, as she plans. The war is coming, and she will stand tall. She will stand strong. She stays with her kids, because she sees it rush towards them, and she knows she needs to spend as much time as possible with them.

She may not make it out alive.

98) The death of Asuma hits them hard. Hanako helps Shikamaru with his plan, but lets him take the wheel, as she helps Kurenai get ready for her baby.

When it's all over, she smokes three cigarettes, sitting under an apple tree.

99) A week after Pein attacked Konoha, she went to where Jiraiya met his end, carrying a bottle of sake, the same kind she drank with him that night, so many years ago. She drinks half the bottle, and throws the rest into the ocean.

100) Sarutobi fell to Orochimaru, Orochimaru fell to Sasuke, and Jiraiya fell to Pein. Ninja have usually met their ends at the hands of their students.

Hanako is one of the few to have killed her's.

It only takes one hit, at the base of his skull, to end this, once and for all. She whispers sorry, and ends the life of her student without a second thought.

101) Hanako dies only a few minutes later, taking the place of her nephew in being stabbed. She dies, surrounded by a neice, by her sons, by her daughter, by her remaining student.

She dies smiling.

102) Naruto becomes Hokage three years later. No one is shocked. When he is found in bed with Sasuke and Sakura, the only reaction is teasing for being like his parents, and the passing of coin.

Lee ending up with Gaara is a surprise though. Naruto takes delight in teasing his brother for being just like his parents, and falling for a redheaded demon vessel. Lee just laughs it off, both knowing that in the afterlife, Hanako is laugh her ass off at this.

Their sister finds it hilarious herself, as she ends up marrying a Yamanaka... with green eyes.

That gets some taunts, which she responds by throwing pointy things at them.

DONE! NO MORE! *falls down*

I've been working on this since JANUARY! Original plan was for a small twenty shot story. made for amusement. Not... THIS!

Review please.