So I was challenged to write a fic around the sentence: "W-what is...that thing...!?"

And so I did!

And I chose the Avengers fandom to suffer this story!

My friend also made me a story and it was lovely and they were characters from the Avengers but it wasn't my fav couple so I decided to use mine as 'revenge' xP

BTW, I'm pretty sure Tony and Steve are both horribly out of character but, bare with me, I'm currently brain dead.

Anyways, ENJOY!

Steve paced in front of the mirror in the bathroom. It was a small space and it merely took him five steps to reach the other side but he felt as though he was walking miles on end. How was it possible to feel so nervous? He slapped his hands onto his face and gripped his hair ferociously, but not to the point of causing pain. He cringed and stopped in front of the sink to splash water on his face and wipe it off with the towel hanging on a rack to the left as he had previously done many times.

"Come on Rogers!" He hissed to himself, "Get your head in the game!"

He sighed deeply and hesitated before looking at himself. His hair was messed up, his pupils were dilated, and his forehead was of a light shade of red which was surprising for it should have been much darker what with the constant slapping it had to endure. Quickly, Steve fixed his hair, arranged his shirt and stared at himself in all seriousness. Once he was prettied up to his liking, he took another deep breath and closed his eyes as to relax.

"Hey, haha..." he said as his eyes opened and a smooth smile spread on his face, "How's it going? You're looking lovely- Aw! Christ, Rogers!" Steve interrupted himself as he covered his face in shame, "This is so embarrassing! Don't treat him like a girl!"

Steve spent a few more minutes cringing before managing to allow the embarrassment to slip away. "Okay," he said to himself as he got ready to try again, "He likes flirtatious women...but he prefers the brighter ones..." his mouth continued to move but no words came out as the word 'women' echoed in his head and, before he knew it, he was ripping his hair out again, "Women! That's exactly the problem! He doesn't like men as far as I'm concerned!"

Steve felt his face heat up again and his palms becoming damp and so he opened the faucet once more and splashed more water onto his face in the hopes of eventually cooling down. "This is horrible..." he muttered to himself.

"What's horrible?"

Steve yelped and jumped in surprise, accidentally slipping on the small puddle he'd made while splashing his face and falling onto the sink, promptly tearing it from the wall. Water soon started gushing out of the broken pipes and Steve received an unimpressed stare from Tony who stared at him while he frantically tried to fix the mess he'd made which only worsened everything. Tony eventually was forced to drag Steve away and sit him down on his sofa with a dry towel as he made quick work of fixing the plumbing.

"JARVIS will take care of cleaning out the water." Tony announced as he returned and took a seat on the chair next to the sofa. He kicked his feet up and let his head drop back as he sighed, "So, Cap, why so jumpy?"

"What do you mean?" Steve asked almost miserably, there were no words to express how horribly embarrassed he felt. "Didn't you see what I was doing?"

Tony exploded into a fit of laughed and immediately hunched over himself as tears began to form. "Yeah, I did actually!" he laughed, and it was a long moment before he calmed down enough to continue questioning his guest. "So, who's the lucky guy?"

"G-guy!?" Steve stuttered as a large blush appeared on his face.

"Come on Cap," Tony sneered, "I heard everything. That includes you whining about how horrible it was that the guy was only interested in girls. Who is it?"

"You know..." Steve mumbled, staring at his fiddling hands, "It still baffles me how homosexuality is accepted in this day and age...even in the army..."

"Yeah, amazing right? Now stop changing the subject and answer my question!" Tony insisted, leaning forward with interest.

"I don't see what's the point!" Steve declared, jumping to his feet in frustration, "He's just this playboy who's had every girl he ever wanted at his finger tips and has never once considered that a man might be good for him! And he's... taken so there's really no point..."

"Hey, wait a second there," Tony said, immediately jumping to the crush's defence, "As an ex-playboy myself, I can state that we don't just look women! I've had my share of experiences with men, you know."

"You have...?" Steve asked and couldn't help but cringe at the thought.

"Don't make that face after subtly declaring your homosexuality!" Tony schooled, "But honestly, I might be in need of a man now... Me and Pepper got into a fight and decided to take a 'break' but we all know what that means don't we? Seriously, a relationship with a man is so much simpler than with a woman-"

"Do you mean that?" Steve asked, taking a step closer to Tony, "Do you really mean that?"

"Uhh...yeah?" Tony answered slowly.

Steve gulped heavily, his heart began racing again and he could feel his hands dampening. He sighed before forcing himself to blurt out: "T-then would you please consider going out on a date with me?"

Tony remained silent for a few moments, blinking profoundly as he registered what had just been asked of him. "What?" he asked and paused, "Are you saying I'm the guy? The one you were rehearsing for?"

Steve was too overcome by emotion and embarrassed to answer vocally and so he settled with nodding.

"Hm." Tony hummed and walked over to a large window. He stared at the city a moment, considering the proposition, "Okay." he said just as Steve lost hope. He turned around and walked towards Steve, "I really only saw you as a friend but there's no harm in trying. Pick me up at six-ish and you better have something amazing planned out for me if you want to get somewhere by the end of the night."

It was now Steve's turn to stare at Tony in disbelief but he soon recovered and smiled sheepishly. "O-okay..." he laughed awkwardly, "Is there anywhere you'd like to go?"

"Surprise me, Cap." Tony said and plopped down on the sofa, "Just make it a night to remember."

And Steve did as he was commanded. First, however, he went back to the apartment S.H.I.E.L.D. had given him soon after the alien attack on New York and spent hours looking at what he should wear. He finally settled on a tailored suit he had bought with Clint and Natasha, the latter of two having insisted on modernizing him. He felt awkward due to the fact of being so unused to such proper clothing but he felt confident. Now that he had his suit selected, he had to think of an activity Tony would remember for the long run. He decided to book a hasty reservation to a fancy restaurant and was nearly rejected until the employee learned that he was the Captain America. The restaurant was also conveniently close to Central Park which meant that the two could go out for a walk once they had finished eating. All that was left was to buy Tony a gift.

Steve rushed out of his apartment and ran down the street looking for any shop with potential. He eventually stumbled upon a flower shop which he entered without hesitation. He then acquired a bouquet of red roses and signed an adorable card which was attached to the crimson string that bounded the flowers together. It was only as he left that he realized that perhaps a bouquet was too girly for Tony but it wasn't like he could return them. Thus he decided he should try to find something manlier for the tech-expert and wound up buying him a fancy pen. He wasn't too good with gifts.

By the time he finished everything, it was time to return to the Stark Tower and retrieve Tony as well as dazzle him. He arrived precisely at six, having no idea when six-ish was, and was greeted by Tony who wore a big sweater, much too big for him, and jeans. "Are those for me?" Tony snickered grabbing the flowers from Steve. "How romantic of you."

"I-I also bought you a pen..." Steve stated sheepishly.

"Nice!" Tony grinned, snatching it from his hands and inspecting it as he threw the flowers away randomly. "Very pretty." And then he threw the pen away, "So where are we going?"

"To a restaurant," Steve said, "It's a fancy place..."

"Cool." Tony said, obviously ignoring the hint given to him about changing his attire, "Let's go, I'm starving."

Steve sighed and followed Tony as he seemingly lead the way to the restaurant. Upon arrival, the employee greeting them immediately pointed that Tony's clothing were improper for such a prestigious place. Tony then pointed out that, if he so desired, he could buy the plot of land on which the restaurant sat and destroy it. Having understood just who he was messing with, the employee immediately sat them down at the table specifically reserved for them in a private area.

"You know, I'm sort of surprised you took me out on a date." Tony said as he put the menu down, "Most people who like me really just take me to bed. And that's fine by me of course."

"Maybe that's how things are done now," Steve smiled, "But that's not how it was in my time."

"Geez, way to sound like an old man, Cap." Tony sighed.

The dinner was essentially pleasant. There were many pauses of awkward silence which reminded Tony of when he had first begun to 'date' as a child. Overall, the brief conversations were sweet and pleasant and far from what Tony was used to which, although it did bore him to a certain degree, still interested him. Once they finished Steve persistently insisted to pay for the meal regardless of Tony stating that he had so much money he occasionally burned some because he didn't know what to do with it (which was a lie but still conveyed that he was, indeed, filthy rich).

"So are you going to walk me home now?" Tony smirked.

"Well, I thought we could go for a walk in the park first." Steve offered.

"Ooh, how romantic," Tony chuckled, leading the way to Central Park, "Soon you'll have me swooning, Cap."

Though sarcasm was blatantly present, Steve learned to interpret those comments as things Tony said when he didn't know what to say. And so they entered the dark Park which was barely lit by the lamp posts around the path ways, but there was sufficient light to see well enough the obstacles in front of them. There were also very few people in the park, mainly young lovers or joggers and the occasional homeless man who was far too drunk to notice their presence.

"It's quiet." Steve stated sheepishly.

"It is." Tony agreed.

And suddenly they stopped beneath the light of a post. "Do you think we could do this again...?" Steve asked after a moment of silence.

"You're so awkward and old fashioned." Tony said and it almost sounded like a reproach, "This is the perfect, romantic, cheesy setting to get to first base. I mean, all the corny elements are there."

"I am from a different time-"

"Seriously, you need to stop saying that, Cap." Tony interrupted, "It's hard to want to kiss you when you're sounding like a grandpa."

"Then should I just kiss you?" Steve asked teasingly.

"You're really killing the mood." Tony stated flatly but with an amused smile.

Steve laughed and leaned towards Tony, their lips were inches away when a bizarre and menacing growling interrupted their moment. It was hard to see beyond the circle of light in which they stood but both could clearly see glowing eyes and the creature dragging itself towards them.

"W-what is...that thing...?" Steve asked horrified.

He hadn't left New York much and barely knew anything about the modern world other than technology was an absolute necessity for society. Perhaps a breed of monstrous creatures was created with all the pollution resulting from the production of the latest gadgets. The thing was all the more horrifying once it was illuminated by the lamp post. It was wrinkly, it's face was essentially shoved into its skull, big bulgy aggressive eyes, and sharp fangs and claws... and it was the size of a cat.

"It's a pug!" Tony exclaimed as he walked to the dog and slowly apprehended it.

"A pug?" Steve repeated, staring at Tony in shock as he picked up the ugly critter.

"It's a breed of dog." Tony stated, patting its head, "You guys had those in the 40s right?"

"I've never seen one before..." Steve said, cautiously inching closer to it, "Are you sure it's not a mutant or something...?"

"Don't be stupid," Tony said and tickled its belly, something it seemed to enjoy a lot, "She's completely harmless and she's one of the most adorable little dogs in the world. Much better than those chihuahuas."

Steve merely nodded and stared at the ugly dog in awe. It was so blatantly repulsive and yet Tony seemed to adore it.

"She doesn't have a name." Tony said, "So that means she was either abandoned or she's a stray...but she was probably just abandoned."

"What are you going to do with it?" Steve asked.

"Well, if I bring her to the pound, they'll eventually kill her if no one buys it." Tony said as he examined the dog's friendly face. "I think I'll keep her."

"How do you know it's a female?" Steve asked, eyes still trained on the caved in face of the beast.

"It's not exactly rocket-science, Cap." Tony stated flatly before returning his attention to the very happy pug, "I think I'll call her Pugga."

"Pugga?" Steve repeated.

"Do you have a problem with that name?" Tony fired a bit too aggressively.

"N-no..." Steve said.

And so they began to walk back to the Stark Tower with Pugga. They conversed pleasantly and Steve eventually warmed up to the pug, discovering that it wasn't as ugly as he had initially thought. She also had quite a lot of energy which he found adorable and contagious.

"Looks like you want to keep her more than I do." Tony laughed but then immediately hugged the pug tightly, "But she's mine!"

"Don't worry, I won't try to take her from you." Steve laughed.

And then there was another awkward pause just like all the other ones they had had during the duration of their date. However, this one was much worse because it was the part of their date they had to end smoothly before parting, something nearly impossible. "I suppose I should go now." Steve said. "We could do this again, couldn't we?"

"Sure." Tony said, "Just think of something funner next time. Like, take me to Time Square or some place with a lot of life. It's not because I'm filthy rich that I only enjoy fancy things."

"I'll be sure to remember that." Steve chuckled.

He was just about to leave when Tony grabbed him by the collar and crashed their lips together, startling Pugga. "You're so annoying." Tony stated, "I've been waiting for a kiss or something more all night and you were just about to leave without giving me anything."

"I was trying to be a gentleman." Steve teased.

"Those don't really exist anymore," Tony said, "You better get with the program, Cap!"

Make no mistake, I fucking love pugs.