A Suicide Note

Summary: Corey is helping out a charitable center by organizing donated items. When searching through an old suitcase, he finds a suicide note dated six months prior. What's peculiar is that he knows the person. What's even more peculiar is that the person is still alive.

No one wants to find a suicide note, especially when they know the person who wrote it. That's exactly what was happening to Corey Riffin at the moment though.

Aside from this particular moment, his day had started off normally. He got out of bed, took care of his morning routine, called his band mates to schedule practice, and made his way over to his volunteer job for the day. The sixteen year old had no idea that at that job, he would find this. Corey Riffen, lead singer of Grojband, was honestly and utterly at a loss for words.

Today he had volunteered to help the community charity center organized donated items. Simple, right? Wrong. For a small town, everyone seemed to have something that they didn't need or want anymore. All of that unwanted stuff ended up here. Corey wasn't going to let the amount of things he would have to sort through get him down though. No, he was going to look through everything, and see want could be salvaged from the mess.

There were books, clothes, old video games, toy cars, and pretty much anything else you could think of. Most items could be saved and reused so he labeled them, and put them to the side. As he searched through more things, he came across an old suitcase. It looked to be in good condition despite its age. The brown leather was still firmly attached to it and the locks still worked. Not wasting any more time viewing the outside, he unlocks the suitcase to look inside.

At first, he thought it was empty. There was nothing unusual to see when he lifted the lid. The inside consisted of pockets and he assumed that it was probably some lawyer's briefcase or something like that. It's when he checked inside the pockets that he found the note.

To anyone who finds this,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to find this note. I'm sorry because what you will read next, you'll probably never be able to forget.

My name is Laney Penn. I'm sixteen and I'm going to kill myself.

I don't blame anyone else for this. I blame myself. If I had more courage, then maybe I could change things. Maybe if I was beautiful and didn't look like a guy to everyone, things would be different. Who knows; if I took this moment to list all of my faults, I'd never have the time to go through with this. Sometimes I wish I was a different person.

Since you found this, could you do something for me? Think of this as a last request from me. I want you to deliver some messages to just three people. The first person is Kin Kujira. Tell him that even though his creations and experiments were sometimes a pain to deal with, I still thought they were pretty cool. One day, he'll invent something that will make him famous.

Next I want you to find Kin's twin brother, Kon. Tell him that I know he's not as dumb as he acts. I figured that out years ago when we were younger. Also tell him that he may say that he likes Trina, but that's just an act too. Kon, you know she won't even give you the time of day, but you don't care. There is someone out there that's way better for you than you pretend Trina is.

Be sure you let them know that my death isn't their fault. I did this on my own because I wasn't strong enough. None of this happened because of something they did.

The last person I want you to talk to is Corey Riffen. He is someone really special to me so this message might be lengthy, but please bear with me for just a little longer.

Tell Corey that I'm sorry. He'll probably take this the hardest out of all my band mates. It's not his fault either that I did this. I just couldn't take it anymore. I can't bear to look at him every day without telling him how I feel. I've love him. I've loved him for years now, but never said anything. I just never found the courage to come out and say it. Since everyone treats me like I'm just another one of the guys, I never felt like I was good enough for him.

At first I thought that I would just be satisfied with just being his friend. For a while, I was. But all good things must come to an end, and my feelings of satisfaction ended rather quickly. I wanted to be more than just his childhood friend. I wanted to be more than just his band mate. I wanted him. I never said anything because I didn't want to ruin our friendship, you know? I mean, people don't even see me as a girl so I didn't even have a chance with him to begin with.

To whoever you are that's reading this now. I really am sorry that you found this. I'm also sorry that I asked you to deliver those messages for me. But I do thank you. I thank you for reading this even though you don't have to and I thank you for delivering my last words to the people I love most.

-Laney Penn

4/26/2013

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. Lanes wanted to kill herself and he never about it. Corey was just glad that she hadn't gone through with her plans. Life without his lanes just didn't seem like something he wanted to live through. Pocketing the note, he leaves the charity center without informing any of the other workers about what he found. He was going to find Lanes and confront her about this. If she felt this way six months ago, just how horrible could she be feeling now? And what stopped her from ending it back then?

Corey spent most of the day looking for his friend. He stopped by her house first, next his garage, then the mall, and any other place he could think of. As the sun was beginning to set, he made his way to the old playground they use to frequent when they were younger. It figures that the last place he looks would be the place he finds her.

Laney is sitting on the swing staring off into nothingness. She hasn't notice him yet and he takes the time to really look at her. Her head is tilted downward, one hand is holding the swing's chain and the other is bunching the hem of her shirt. How did I not notice this before, he thought. It was obvious how depressed she was. Anyone would be able to see that by looking at her. Silently he walks over to the swings and sits in the one beside hers.

"Hey Lanes," he starts off cautiously. He may have spent the day looking for her, but he wasn't sure how to approach the subject when he found her. "What you thinking about?"

His voice startles her out of her thoughts. She looks to her right to see her blue haired friend looking at her and waiting on her answer. "Hey Core. I'm not really thinking about anything, you know?"

"I know that you're not telling me the truth."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I found something today while I was at the charity center, and I think that I've read enough to know."

"What are you talking about Corey?" she asks.

"Read this and tell me what you think it is," he hands her the note. Corey may not know if this is the right way to confront her, but he figures that at this point, any way may work out.

He watches her as she reads the note. The further she gets, the sadder her face becomes. When she finishes she hands him back the note without looking at him. Laney is silent for a few minutes before she says, "Where did you find that?"

"In an old suitcase. Lanes, why didn't you tell me? I would have listened to you."

"Since you read that, you should already know why I didn't come to you about this. Core, I'm sorry you had to find that. If I had known that you were going to volunteer at the center, I would have never taken it there," she pauses before looking at him, "Now that you've seen that, you probably want to end our friendship right? I understand."

Laney doesn't give him a chance to respond as she stands. Her back is facing him and she speaks once more. "I never meant for anyone to find that. I thought that if I got rid of it, then no one would see it. I wrote that note when I thought I couldn't take it anymore. That night, I was actually going to kill myself.

I had everything all planned out. All the pills I was going to take were lying on my dresser, my parents were out for the night, it was going to be easy, but then something stopped me. Better yet, I should say that someone stopped me."

"What happened?"

"I got a call," she half smiles, "from someone that I thought couldn't care for me. As oblivious as that person is, he called right when I needed him most. We talked for a while about random stuff, and when the call was over, I just couldn't bring myself to do it anymore."

She turned to face him then. Now that everything was out in the open, she felt lighter somehow. It was like the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders. Laney had said everything that she held back for all these months. Now it was all up to Corey and how he would react.

Corey only had one question left to ask her. He knew the why she wanted to kill herself, he knew why she didn't, but he didn't know who saved her. He felt disappointed with himself. He should have been there for her. Laney didn't deserve to go through all that on her own. That's what she had him for; he was supposed to be someone she could depend on. Corey was meant to be someone who was always there for her, and he felt like he failed her.

"Lanes, I just have one more thing to ask you."

"And what's that?"

"Who called that night?" he questions as he stands up.

"The one who called me is the same person I see every day. He is the one who sees me as another one of the guys, but sometimes does things to show me that I'm not. He is the same guy that spent his whole day trying to find me because he didn't want me to feel alone. And right now, he is still the oblivious guy standing in front of me."

Now he may be oblivious, but he isn't dumb enough to miss all the hints she just threw at him. He was the one who called. He saved her without even knowing it. Corey felt his spirits lift considerably after that discovery. Now all he had to do was one last thing and he will never have to go through this situation again. Of course, thinking about it was easier than doing it, but with the knowledge that she already loves him, he figured he could do this.

Laney was facing the ground as she waited on his reaction. She didn't see him move before she was embraced. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she hugged him back. Relief washed over her as she realized that Corey wasn't going to end their friendship. Even though he knew she loved him, he wasn't going to make a big deal out of it.

"Lanes, don't ever scare me like this again. Do you know how I felt when I read that? And then when I could find you, I thought that this was it. You had finally given up and ended it. I can't imagine never seeing you again. I need to see you, need to know that you're beside me, need to hear your voice everyday; I need you, Lanes. Can't you see that?"

"Core what are you trying to say?"

"Now who's the one being oblivious," Corey chuckles, "Fine, I guess I'll just have to spit it out. Just listen to me for a sec, and you may not believe this, but I promise I'm telling the truth. I love you, Laney Penn. Yes, I treat you like one of the guys, but that was only because I didn't want you to feel left out. That was never my intention. If I had known that you felt horrible because of it, I would have stopped years ago. And about you looking like a guy, you might as well get rid of that thought. You'll always be the most beautiful girl I know."

"You're just saying all of this because of my note," Laney pushes him away and takes a step back, "You can't mean it."

"Tell me what I have to do to prove that I mean it? Do I have to tell you that I loved you since we sung to Kin and Kon asking them to come back to the band? Remember that? At first I was in it for the cake, but then we went and did couple things together, and I realized how great you were then."

"You're lying."

"Maybe I should tell you all the things I love about who you are," he steps closer to her, "like how your sarcasm is cute. You may act tough, but I know it's just an act and your sarcasm is part of it. Or maybe I should tell you that I like how you pretend to not like girly things. You know, I wouldn't make fun of you if you wore frilly clothes, or stuff like that. I would love you no matter what you liked or wore."

His hand cups her cheek as he makes her look at him. Laney's eyes are full of tears and one slowly trails down her cheek. He doesn't hesitate to wipe it away.

"There is so much that I could say to you right now. So much that I could show you. But I can't force you to believe me. Please believe me, Lanes," Corey kisses her. It's a soft, slow kiss, but it's enough to get his feelings across.

Slowly Laney responds to him and kisses him back. They pull away from each other and she gives him a soft smile. "I believe you," she whispers.