Chapter 43

Stop it…(Pt.2)

(Enderlox's POV)

We could endure the physical pain.

It hurt unlike any other punishment from Master, but… It was still pain that we've experienced in some degree. At least, that's how It was telling me. We couldn't move or fight or hide because of it, but that is not what It is upset about anymore. The pain inside is too new. Too unfamiliar. We don't like it. It hates the pain inside our chest. There was such a deep ache.

I have felt it a few times, but very lightly. I used to feel it whenever I disappointed Master. More recently it was when we are around Sky. Seeing Sky's fear. Flying away from Sky. Hurting Sky…

It's all his fault. He's causing this. He had the mage curse us.

It's only sadness. We know this.

NO. Sadness was felt not being able to return sooner. This is not it. Confusion and aching in the chest. YOU feel this. I do not.

You're right…

I felt it all those times with Sky. However, It is more awake now. It searches and scans my memories for better understanding, but doesn't it relive it too? How nice Sky was. Teaching and being patient. Look out for us. Trying his best to protect us…

You. Not us. I don't need him.

It hurt again. Deep in our chest when It voiced It's thought.

I can feel It quiet down It's anger. The ache causes confusion for It. Not feeling unquestionable joy for finally being able to go back home is torture. Not knowing why is… frightening.

No. I am not frightened by the ache. You are. You are always afraid.

I don't mean it.

I know.

It shows understanding for me more often. Less upset at me, more upset at those around. It just wanted to get back. The feelings would stop when we were back.

It'll be over when we return.

…

Returning is… best for us. You know this.

Another ache.

We don't want to go back.

…

Silent. No anger. Just aching in our chest. In our heart.

If we saw him. If you saw him. Saw Sky. One last time. Would the ache go away?

Its thoughts were so quiet. I never heard It refer to Sky with so little anger. Any thoughts of him always upset It. I don't think I have ever heard It call Sky by his name. Is the ache so bad that It is willing to see Sky again, just on the chance it might go away?

It is distracting. Not good for fighting. Or thinking. You have too many thoughts of him. You must be causing the ache then. Your sadness is caused by him. The ache is different. But similar.

You can't control it. You must be feeling it too. You must be causing it too…

No. You are wrong.

I could feel It's anger. But it was mixed with the ache. Memories swim around us. Filled with our days here. My days here. It brought up the painful ones. All mixed together. Out of order. All reminding me of the wrong being here has caused us.

You were hurt because of them. Being here has been nothing but sadness for you.

Being pushed into the water.

I…

The first moments when I met Husky and Seto. Their fearful eyes. Always being cautious around me.

Stop…

Arrows piercing my body.

Please…

Whispers of being called a monster when first going to the city. Being hurt by those who thought they were stronger.

That's when I first felt the ache in my chest.

First heartache.

I'm a disappointment.

To Master. To It. To Sky.

It hurt so bad.

No. Do not think that.

I never did anything right here.

The pain grew.

You are making it worse. Stop thinking those thoughts.

I never did anything right.

I was dumb when it came to lessons. I kept breaking things in the house. I ran away. I caused trouble. I was unwanted. I made them scared.I couldn't follow simple rules.I didn't follow ' . -

"Okay, whatever you want."

A memory. Then I hear It.

STOP IT.

Stop it…

stop. please.

stop it…

We are crying.

It hurt so much. I did not mean it. It hurt me too.

It was a memory of Sky.

Seeing your pain. Feeling it. I couldn't take it.

It from my first day being awake here.

Your heart. Our heart… Is so soft.

Sky treated me nicely.

I have hurt you too much.

He didn't hit me.

I do not like our shared pain.

He didn't yell at me.

I can't… I can't make it go away.

To Sky, we were equals.

I know Sky can. He has this power over you. Over…us…

No. He doesn't. We don't have power over him either. That is why it hurts.

…

There was a noise. It came from outside. Outside the tiny moving room. That's right…

We are close.

The realization of what that means makes us ache.

They said he isn't coming. He isn't allowed.

More hurt.

We could leave…I can get us out…We-I can help us leav-

No. We can't. You know that.

More pains.

We were in chains. That's why It called it. On or wrists. On our ankles. Arms. Waist. Neck. Wings. Legs. Tail. We can barely move.

Sitting in the corner of a tiny room they moved us to. The walls made up of obsidian. Small holes on the top. It said that those were for air. We couldn't see out them. They had put something dark on top. Like a blanket.

We can feel it moving. Bumps every so often. People outside talking about getting 'there'. Only referring it to 'there'. It would stop sometimes. Maybe to rest.

We woke up here after those who hurt us forced us to drink something. It's not like we could have refused it. We could barely refuse what Jerome had given us. I wish he came back and given us some more before they made us drink it. We would have had some strength again.

He wouldn't be happy if we did. We would be getting in trouble.

He would blame me.

The ache was It's now.

That is alright though. As long as it is not you.

Too many aches. We both wanted it to stop. But we couldn't.

We have spent so much time arguing back and forth after Jerome. Too many pained memories resurfacing. Both of the bad and the all too short good moments. Trying to figure out the ache. Trying to find the cause while they hurt us more. Forcing us to answer the same questions. Over and over and over. Our answers slowly changing. Figuring out what's Me and It. One or two. Not knowing what to think anymore. Us. I. It. Not knowing what our feelings were. And now…

Now we cannot return.

We really are finally going back. Back to the… The End.

Yes.

There was confusion and all sorts of feelings going back and forth inside us. Unable to understand.

Back… back home.

Home was warm. This didn't feel warm.

No…Not yours…

Yours?

…I no longer know.

Heartache. Indescribable heartache.

The tiny room stopped moving.

Our tears were still falling. A soft crying.

If only Sky were here to stop it.