Just so you know, everything in this is INTENTIONAL. I did NOT forget about any details as you will see throughout this emotional chapter. Enjoy, Chickadees ;)

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"Would you like some more tea? Oh yes, Dusk is the perfect time for tea." Vivaldi hums, taking another sip of the cup's contents. I stare into the rose bushes in front of me, making sure to busy my mouth with sips of tea or treats on the table. I-I really don't wish to speak at the moment. It's been a few time changes and I haven't heard or seen anything with Jackie. I wonder how she is? "Atticus, speak to us."

"S-Sorry! I-It's very good, Vivaldi." I complement with a sheepish laugh, taking a sip of the lemon tea. I found that people who displease this beautiful woman soon get their heads lopped off. S-Scary ... everyone in Wonderland is scary ...

"Excellent," She says, content that I am enjoying her tea. She's so nice to me though ... she let me stay and is giving me a job. I told her a little about my past and now she wants me to t-train some of the soldiers since, frankly, they are pathetic. W-Well, as long as I 'snuggle' with her every now and then. Which isn't too bad but ... my eyes soften as I stared at the swirling tea, watching the small bits of leftover leaves swirl around the bottom. I ... I would much rather be snuggling up to Jackie rather than the Queen.

It's not likely to happen though. Jackie thinks of me as a kid and I need to face reality. My eyes lower to the table as I heavily sigh, disheartened. But I ... I still have feelings for her. And it's not like they are going to fade any time soon.

"Why do you sigh in our presence, Atticus? Are you bored with us?" The queen dangerously asks. I jolt, whipping my wide eyed gaze to her.

"N-N-Not at a-a-a-all, Vivaldi! E-Er, Q-Q-Queen Vivaldi. I ... I am just thinking." I stammer, taking a sip of tea and glancing off to the side with a flush.

"About? Do tell." She orders, interested about what's on my mind. I remain silent, my face only darkening as thoughts of Jackie needle my mind and heart. I don't want to think about her. I don't want to forget about her but I-I'm going to go crazy if I don't stop thinking about her for a little while! "I assume it is a woman?"

"Y-You can read minds too?!" I gasp, mortified as I snap my head towards her. I-I-I thought only t-t-that weird guy with an eye patch could! Her expression remains calm and her lips puckered, contemplating something in her mind before mischievously smiling.

"We cannot. We use a woman's intuition rather than pry into the minds of others like the worm does." She says, delicately folding her fingers under her chin and staring at me with the eyes of a snake. "This is about Gowland's little engineer, isn't it?"

I nervously gulp, trying to decide what to do and say. I-I can't lie to her b-b-but I don't want to talk about Jackie. It's still too fresh, still too painful for me to think about it. My cowardly eyes turn to my tea as I try to lose my mind in watching the little flakes of tea leaves settle at the bottom.

"Yes." I quietly say, unable to look her in the eyes. I can still feel the rejection so strongly that even now I want to cry and wail like a child. B-But I'm a man, so I won't. A child complains and cries b-but a man takes it as it is and d-deals with the matter at hand with cool precision.

"Oh dear, what lovely young love. It's a shame I am not a little younger myself." She says. I look back to her, startled that she would make a comment of the likes and stare into her bright eyes. "All will be well, Atticus."

"B-But how do you know?" I stutter, tensing up a little bit. How can she say that with such confidence?

"A little worm told me so." She calmly says with a smile as she sips her tea.

JACKIE'S POV

"ATTICUS!" I angrily shout, whipping around a bush and spying him calmly sitting at a table with Vivaldi and having tea. Oh I swear I'm going to rip him a new one. Sending me on that wild goose chase for him ... thank goodness I ran into Ace and found out where the little coward was hiding from me. Atticus grapples at his chest, nearly falling over in fright as his head snaps toward me. His mouth parts, almost in shock.

"Jack-Jackie?" Atticus stutters. The fiery rage burns my skin as I stomp right up to him, unable to restrain my anger. I reach out, planning to choke the life out of the idiot. I've been running around everywhere and here he is, sipping tea with the Queen of Hearts? My gosh I've never wanted to hurt anyone this badly before!

"Atticus! Why the hell did you leave?" I nearly scream in my seething rage, gripping the crooks of his neck and tightening my grasp. His eyes widen as he gently grips my wrists, an automatic reaction to keep my hands from sliding over his throat.

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?!" I shout again, roughly pushing him against the back of the chair. His eyes remain wide with fright and shock as he stares dumbly at me, unable to form a response quick enough. My fingers squeeze over his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin. He is so lucky there are witnesses here ...

"I-I left a note-," he quietly squeaks, his eyes wide with startled terror. The irate rage in my chest blows up to the equivalent to an atomic bomb, a fact he knows through the fear reflected in his eyes.

"CRAP! That's CRAP! Why didn't you just grow a pair and tell me to my face that you were leaving instead of leaving a freaking note?!" I angrily demand, lifting his shoulders a little and shoving him hard against the chair. Did I really scare him so much to the point that he can't stand to look at my face? Did I rip off his balls too when I rejected him? Screw him! Idiot! He shouldn't let one rejected from someone hurt him so badly! Pathetic, cowardly and weak. If you have something big to tell me then say it to my face instead of leaving a note-!

"Because I ... have nothing else to say to you, Jackie. I'm growing up," Atticus says, his eyes slowly growing distant. "It's not a big deal, Jackie."

I feel a little part of myself curl up in a little corner and shrivel up into nothing. No big deal? No ... big deal? So he can leave me at a drop of a hat? Forget we were ever friends and never look back? Leave ... l-leave me and move forward to better things ...

Atticus wants to leave me behind?

"Not a - Atticus, I've been worried sick! I mean, you didn't even tell me where you were going and then I ran into Ace who told me what happened and I thought you ... I, I thought you were hurt." I say, pulling back and letting go of his shirt. Why should I care? It's not ... it's not like we were anything more, right? But we were friends and ... friends stick together through thick and thin too. My heart aches, threatening to squeeze the life right out of me here and now. So nothing means anything to him? All that time we spent together, he's willing to throw it away?

ATTICUS'S POV

"Heh ... I can take care of myself now, Jackie. That's what men do." I say, brushing it off through the aching in my chest, "I already found a new place to live in, and a job. I'll pay you back for anything I owe you once I get my paycheck, I promise. Plus interest." If Jackie wants me to grow up, then I will.

And if she doesn't like it, then she should have thought it through.

JACKIE'S POV

"Really? Here? What ... what do you do?" I ask, honestly startled. Ugh ... this kind of reminds me of a stubborn kid trying to look grown up ... oh man I was too harsh before. B-But it was the truth. I don't know how I feel and ... and I just don't know.

"Since I have experience as a soldier, I can work here as a personal soldier to her Majesty, Vivaldi. Apparently the Faceless soldiers here aren't very good." He replies, pointing over to Vivaldi who is quietly sitting and observing with interested eyes.

"O-Oh, hey Vivaldi." I nod, showing my respect as I notice her there. Whoops, I definitely should have greeted her and then start telling Atticus off.

"We are surprised to see you two know each other, do tell us, Atticus, who is Jackie to you?" Vivaldi asks in her usual tone. "We can see what she thinks of you through that gaze of her eyes but we wish to know your thoughts."

"Jackie's simply a friend. That's all." Atticus says with a coy smile after a few moments of silence. My eyes harden as I hear his nonchalant answer. Really? After all that I've done for him he's going to leave it at 'friend'? After I introduced him to everyone, helped him fit in at the park, was there for his darker moments to help him through it ... and all I am is a friend that he can toss aside and go off playing with the Queen?

Before I can think of another think my arm lashes out, punching the startled Atticus right across the face. He bumps the inside of my elbow and lessens the blow over his eye as I topple over with him to the ground, quickly situating myself on top of him.

"Oh my." Vivaldi's voice says, hardly of feeling. Atticus grabs my wrists as I sit on his waist. The fiery anger searing through me wanted to see him hurt and in pain for what he's done. You idiot, jerk, stupid-!

"J-Jackie, why did you hit me?" He innocently asks, acting as though he didn't just rip a hole in my heart. His eyes widen as violent fury exploded behind my eyes.

"YOU STUPID INCONSIDERATE SON OF A F***ING B****, ATTICUS!" I scream at the top of my lungs, making him jolt as I try to get another hit in. He bulks, keeping his grip on my wrists firm as jaw drops in shock.

"J-Jackie?!" He cries, thrown completely off guard by my seething anger.

"YOU LOUSY, NO GOOD SPINELESS LITTLE B****-!" I shout, feeling my emotions get the better of me. He thinks so little of me that he would leave, l-leave and not talk to me face to face a-a-an instead leaves a note-! A swift hand softly touches over my face and pulls my head back into a soft chest. My breathing hitches as I feel tears spill over my face, caught and hidden behind the delicate yet firm hand.

"We have seen enough of your adorable act, Jackie. Atticus, leave us so that we may have a word with one another."

"B-But I-I-I ... a-alright." Atticus mutters in defeat, clearly at a loss as to what he can say. I feel him move and shift underneath and slide out. I remain on my knees, too weak to move as I try with all my might to keep my breath steady and give little indication that I'm crying. V-Vivaldi ... why? Why is she covering my tears from A-Atticus? My thoughts crumble to a hysterical mess as her finger trails down my cheek, wiping away a stray tear as she stares into my already puffy eyes.

"Let us go inside and speak, yes?" She smiles, handing me a handkerchief from a nearby soldier.

"O-Ok-!" I sob, breaking down and hiding my face into the red lace lines handkerchief. Why? Why is it hurting this much? I just lost my head and all sensibilities t-that I actually hit him. I'm so upset, so distraught, so depressed and angry ...

What is wrong with me?

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ATTICUS'S POV

"Jackie, do you not agree that Atticus would look most adorable with the uniform?" Vivaldi asks, making small talk with the oddly quiet Jackie as we walk into the castle. I-I'm so worried ... Jackie hit me a-and called me so many nasty things but why did she look so hurt when she said those things? She looked as though she had broken from the inside. I quietly listen to the awkward silence, deciding to break it up a little.

"I won't wear the hat though, looks awkward," he nervously laugh, scratching the back of my head. I can't ask her now why she did that. I-I ... she's not ready. And I don't think I'm ready to hear the answer. Has she thought those things about me the whole time we were together.

"It will be interesting I can tell you that much." Jackie numbly admits as she alone follows me. I cast a glance back, watching her follow me with her eyes glued to the ground. She looks so ... dead. I remember she was so upset once that she got quiet and a similar look in her eye. Did I hurt her so much just by leaving the Amusement Park? N-No, I can't think about that. I need to grow up.

I stop in front of a guest room and open the door for her. I can't keep thinking about it. I-If I do I will lose it.

"Here, this is your quarters for the night." I say, trying to catch her eye but her gaze remained pointedly away from my sight. Jackie slides her cold eyes over me before walking inside. I stare after her, uncomfortable by her actions. I can't stay silent. She's hurt and I know it.

"Jackie, are you alright?" I ask without thinking about my words.

"Fine. Atticus. I'm fine." Jackie says though her tone has the slight trill of someone holding back. She doesn't sound fine to me.

"Then why do you sound like you're about to cry-,"

"BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ALRIGHT?!" She lashes out, whipping around as her anger slips past her tight barricades. She clenches her teeth and turns around, stiff as a board. My eyes widen, taken aback before glancing away. I-I should leave. I've upset her again.

"U-um ... alright ... I'll take my leave." I say, hopping that, maybe, she'll calm down on her own.

"No ... I DON'T want you to leave-," Jackie starts as she reaches out to me before snapping her hand back and turning back around with red ears. W-Wait, she doesn't want me to leave? B-But ... why? Jackie, what is going on in that beautiful head of yours?

" ... Jackie," I call after a moment. What does she want?

"What?" Jackie snaps, hugging herself. I stare after her, stunned into silence. She looks as though she is holding herself together ... just as she always has. By herself, with no one else, pushing everyone away ... as if she's scared to open herself up. I pause at the thought, wondering for a brief moment how I came up with that before deciding to go with it. That ... sure sounds like Jackie. Is that what she's really feeling? That I will abandon her?

"It's not, um, like I'm leaving you forever, Jackie. I'm just finding my own place to live and a job," I explain, scratching the back of my head. "I want to try and be more independent. So that I won't look like a kid anymore. Besides, we'll hang out still."

"Then why didn't you at least tell me to my face you didn't want to stay with ... the amusement part," she coldly growls, catching herself, "was I so insignificant that you could just leave a note to tell me that you left?" I-Insignificant? No ... Jackie, you are my most precious.

"If I had told you in your face then, I would have cried." I truthfully reply. "And I don't want to cry in front of you anymore."

"C-crying ... isn't that bad." Jackie stiffly says, breathing hard through her shaky voice. Her fingers gripped her arms tighter, looking as if she was about to rip the skin off her arms.

"Then why are you trying so hard to not cry? Jackie ... ," I whine, gently touching her shoulder. She's hurt, I knew it.

"I just want to look strong in front of you, Jackie." I reassure as I gently wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a backwards hug. She nervously gulps and curls her fingers around my sleeve. Her head cranes back into my shoulder as if the pain in her chest is growing too strong for her alone to handle.

"I ... It's not that. It's just that I ... I don't like people getting to know the real me. Because they leave and laugh at the gaping hole they left." She reluctantly admits in the softest voice I've ever heard, gripping my sleeve tighter. My arms tighten a little, hurt that she would think that of me.

"Why would anyone do something like that to you? Why would you think I would do that to you?" I ask, trying to get her to say her pain out loud for me.

"I ... I just can't open up to people so easily. They either leave willingly ... or unwilling." Her breathing hitches at the end as she swallows, clearly hurt before biting her lip with a small pained whine. "It hurts to open up to people, Atti."

"I'd fight tooth to nail to stay with you!" I shout, shocked, "I-I would never leave you like that, Jackie!" How can I get her to understand me? It hurts seeing her in so much pain a-and I never want that!

"But why?" Jackie asks, craning her head up to look me in the eyes with her deeply saddened and tear streaked face. "If so many other people left me after I helped them what makes you any different?"

"I only left to make myself worthy of you. To see me in a different light," I genuinely say before my eyes flash. My head ... it feels like it's stuffed with cotton. Light yet on the verge of splitting my skull in half at the same time. My knees suddenly grow weak as my arms hug empty air.

"Is that why you left, maus? Or was it because you weren't man enough to face her after our rejection?" My voice speaks. I immediately leap back, spying Jackie sobbing within my other self's arms.

"Wait, what?!" I look on, gaping. How ... ?

"I'm not gone you fool I'm still here and forever will be." The blood covered Atticus huffs before gently hugging Jackie closer, pressing his cheek against her temple as his eyes eagerly drink in my reaction. No, no don't, you'll hurt her-!

"That's right, my little maus, scream it out." He gently encourages, digging his nails into her back. She jolts and clings to him tighter, struggling not to sob so hard but failed miserably. Tears flow uninterrupted as she rubbed her head into his shoulder, unable to breathe properly from the choking emotions.

"No, no don't touch her-!" I angrily shout, reaching forward. My legs lock up and pin me to the ground. W-What? I ... I can't move-!

A little longer ... A voice rings through the air but passes over my ears.

"Now, now, it will all be over soon, my precious frau," he purrs, brushing her bangs behind her ear.

"I-It hurts ... I'm so confused and it hurts-!" She whines, pressing up against him as she holds him. My livid eyes lock onto the bloody Atticus's face. Don't touch her like that. You don't have the right to touch her like that, after what you've done to her-! My eyes widen with terror as Atticus slides out his bowie knife and holds it to the base of her neck.

"No, STOP!" I scream as Atticus plunges the knife into her spine. She jerks forward, eyes wide with fright. Her stiffening body leans against him as he wraps an arm around her waist, softly cooing into her ear.

"There there ... now it doesn't hurt, my little maus." Atticus purrs, pressing his lips to her temple. Blood trickles down her mouth as her eyes begin to empty of precious life.

"How dare you, no, why are you here!? I'm the dominant one!" I shout, still unable to move. Please ... please, let me move-!

"Don't you see how much more kind I am, frau? I will end your suffering quickly, within hours, while maus over there will want to prolong it for years to come." He sweetly croons, gently pressing his lips against her paling mouth. My mouth gaps as he pushes more fervently against her, irked about her unresponsiveness. He visibly bites her lower lip, making a strangled groan escape her throat along with a small trail of blood down her chin.

"NO, STOP IT! STOP IT!" I shriek, trying to move my legs. For the love of Gott, let me move!

"This is why I'm so much better, little Atti." The bloody Atticus says as he pulls back with red stained lips, licking up the blood from it. "You're too slow and you are killing her much more mercilessly than I ever would have." He continues, sliding the blade from her neck. He props her up against his shoulder, laying her across his lap as he carves little Nazi symbols into her leg. Blood flows strongly over her smooth legs, dripping onto the ground. S-She's still alive. T-There's a chance I can help her! Mein Gott, legs of mine MOVE!

"You're worse than I am, maus. While I would kill her physically, which would eventually come to an end," he continues, digging the knife into her twitching thigh and dragging it up, "you're killing her mentally which will hurt her for years to come. You're so cruel, Atti." He lovingly purrs, kissing Jackie's tear streaked cheek. No, no stop. Her blood is still flowing which means her heart is still beating. Please, I beg of you to let me go!

Not yet ... a voice in the back of my head whispers.

"You're so cute painted in red, frau." Atticus coos, sliding the tip of the blade up her shirt, cutting away her blouse. He positions the tip over her chest, twirling it in his fingers as the tip slowly digs into her skin. "It's too bad little Atti couldn't face you and tell you his true feelings. He's not fine being tossed away. He hates it ... I hate it ... We hate it." He hisses before plunging the blade into her chest. Her eyes widen briefly at the attack before her face utterly slacks, more blood dripping past her cracked lips.

"Stop ... okay, just stop!" I cry, grabbing at my hair. Just stop, please. I don't want this. I didn't want any of this!

"Such a lovely sin to lust and love after a woman, only to drop her the moment she becomes an inconvenience." Atticus murmurs, staring into her empty eyes. "Isn't it a shame, frau? That he doesn't want you even after all the help you've provided us? And also all the beauty ... ," he continues, pressing his lips to her collarbone. Her head slides off his shoulder, craning back as his arm firmly holds her shoulders. "Such beauty cloaked in red ... I can hardly resist myself." Atticus chuckles, sliding a hand under her shirt.

"STOP!" I shout, unable to bear to see him touching her. Stop, stop you're killing her you're murdering her!

"Why? You clearly don't want her so what's stopping me, your other half, from claiming her? Such a greedy Nazi." Atticus teases before ravaging her right in front of me. He moves his mouth over hers, silencing himself with the taste of blood over his tongue. I gag, tasting the metal and salt mixture over my own.

"I do want Jackie! But I can't have her since ... since she only sees me as a kid, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up! I'll never give up!" Don't touch her, don't hurt her-! "I love her! I'll make her see that I'm boyfriend material, starting now-!"

My legs break free from the invisible restraint, lunching at my other half. Atticus grins before we both vanish into a black mist the moment my fingers curl around his throat. W-What the-?! My eyes bug open, spying a pillow being strangles by my hands. I jump out of his bed, clutching my chest. D-Dream ... it was a dream? No, no Jackie is she alright?! She was crying and sobbing a-and her warm body was no lie! I quickly throw on my clothes, dashing into the halls. Please, please tell me she's alright-!

JACKIE'S POV

"Feeling better, my dear?" Vivaldi hums as she sits on the edge of the bed, lazily tracing her finger over my bare ankle. My head thumps against the pillow, unwilling to look at Vivaldi right now. I'm pissed beyond reason and I'm sulking ... I should be used to friends leaving me by now but honestly it still hurts like hell! No, this hurt is so, so much deeper and I don't know why. It hurts more than all the others combined.

"Now, now, we don't like to see someone as cute as you to be sulking. We demand to know why you do so," Vivaldi hums as though already knowing the answer.

" ... it bugs me when people leave a note instead of telling me something to my face. It's basically saying 'you're not important enough to talk to face to face so I'm going to go ahead and leave a note instead'." Does he not even respect me enough to do that much? I hug myself tighter as I stare at the wall, feeling my knuckles lightly throbbing from when I hit him. Stupid jerk ...

"Hmph. We agree, though, we believe it was to avoid such a dilemma like this. Would you have tried to stop him in his quest of growing up? He did it for you, we believe," Vivaldi says, bringing up a decent point to think about. If he had told me face to face that he was leaving would I have stopped him? N ... yes, yes, I would have stopped him. Gosh dang it make up your mind stupid brain.

"Yeah, I would have." I mutter, hugging the pillow and drying my tears on it. Blech, so much crying ... I feel like it's been almost an hour since I started.

"And why is that?" She asks, trying to hit the bulls eye. My heart aches at everything that's happened, all the emotions and as to why it hurts so badly. Well crap.

"B-Because I LIKE him." I grumble, looking off to the side. Love? No. I can't say that I love him because I'm not sure what love technically is. But ... this aching in my chest is killing me! I knew 'love' was supposed to hurt but this is killing me! And right now I'm feeling everything but love for the idiot, as shown by my fist to his face earlier. Gosh I hope I didn't ... no, actually I hope he has a black eye and at least a cracked nose to boot.

"My! We are touched that you feel that way for him, how adorable! Sadly, he said that you only saw him as a child, and we are skeptical of you actually liking him," Vivaldi scolds, crossing her arms.

" ... ugh, I just don't know!" I shout, throwing the pillow across the room before laying back down. My life sucks ... I-I actually want to hug Atticus right now. Hell, I just want to see what these emotions are in me before I do anything irrational! ... like punching him in the face. "I really don't know ... but how can I tell if I actually like him in 'that' sense as opposed to a really close friend?" I ask, looking to Vivaldi for help. I'm so, so lost. I don't know what to feel and I feel like the biggest jerk for hitting him.

"To know? Then let us make a game out of it. We will ask you questions and expect an appropriate answer for each." She smiles.

"Alright." I say, willing to answer anything she asks. I'm just so tired and annoyed that she could ask me just about anything and I would tell her.

"How did Jackie feel when Atticus left the Amusement Park without facing her?"

"Pissed." I immediately answer. A small laugh bubbles from her full lips before she composed herself.

"And next, how do you feel when he only did this to become more mature?"

" ... annoyed and impressed that he ran off and did so. But more annoyed." I say, clarifying my main feeling.

"My, how stubborn. So then, you should know that Atticus only wanted you to see him in a different light, yet you're not liking it. Why?" She pushes. My gosh all of this interrogation today is ridiculous and this reminds me of the conversation I had with Blood earlier last time change.

"I ... don't know what love really is," I admit, my eyes softening, "my definition of it has changed a lot but ... being with Atticus is the closest I've ever got to 'loving' someone who isn't related to me so I guess it is?" I say, unsure of my conclusion as I stare at the ceiling. Do I really love Atticus or what?

"You're so cute!" Vivaldi nearly squeals as she yanks me up into a hug, "we are envious!" I remain silent, too existed by the day to resist her bear hug. Gosh dang it but I guess I need a hug right now. My eyes slide shut as I lean into the hug for a few moments, resting my head on her shoulder. "My, such an adorable face." She giggles, giving another squeeze and pushing me away at arms length. I blink, surprised as I stare into her serious looking face yet mischievous smile. "But be warned... If you do not decide whether you want to be with Atticus or not, We shall take him."

"What?!" I shout, dumbfounded by her declaration of war. Wait, wait I'm going up against that?!

"Atticus is adorable. We are interested." Vivaldi smiles with a smirk.

"Y-You are? B-But you have the King!" I shout, appalled. This woman is so much older than Atticus than I am and ... and, even she's interested despite the age gap? I look down, studying the sheets for a moment. Age ... age to her is a number. She doesn't care how young he is so why should I? And it's not like that gap is so large I would be considered a cougar for d-dating him.

"That lousy man is more interested in his many lovers than us, so why must we focus on the King? Besides, Atticus is a darling boy, very sweet and pleasant." Vivaldi smiles before crossing her arms. "We will not be afraid to steal him from you."

O-Oh ... oh, my gosh she's serious. Well crap what now? I figured out I like the guy and now Vivaldi wants to take him from me? I look over her gorgeous frame and sweeping curves, right down to her perfect nails. Awe dude I'm going to get absolutely demolished if Vivaldi is my opponent.

"We will take our leave," Vivaldi says as she gets up, hands on her hips. "Do take what we say to heart."

"A-Ah, yeah." I nervously gulp. I watch her figure sway towards the door and, the moment she leaves, I fall back onto the bed and let out a pained groan.

"Oh man ... ," and how am I going to remedy the mess I made? I can't go up to him and say 'hey sorry about before but it turns out I really like you after all.

... UGH that's terrible of me! I'm literally putting the poor guy through so much mental stress and it's not like I can suddenly change my mind. "

"AHUEHAHDKWAH THIS IS ANNOYING!" I shout at the top of my lungs, letting my emotions take over my speech which comes out as an incoherent babble.

"I was right, something did happen to Jackie-!" Atticus's muffled voice shouts before I hear a loud thump. "OW!" My heart leaps into my mouth as I shoot up, spying Atticus throw the door back while clutching his nose. His wild wide eyes lock onto me, quickly darting over my figure before stumbling towards me.

"J-Jackie, are you alright?!" He demands, his voice deeply enriched with concern and fear.

"U-uh, yeah?" I hesitate before glancing off to the side. N-No, d-d-don't be a coward. I need to tell him how I feel. "Actually, no I'm not ok." I hesitantly admit. Atticus fumbles to the side of the bed, lightly rubbing his nose before looking up to me with his large doleful eyes.

"What's wrong? Are you sick?" He asks, setting his hand over my knee. A little heated shiver crawls up my spine, yanking on my already achingly exhausted heart. It hurts so much ... I really don't know how much more I can take.

"In a sense I think I am." I admit, unwillingly to look Atticus in the face. What can I possibly say to him? Oh I just don't know and I'm so freaking confused! I-I need to tell him, tell him right now. Oh my gosh, is this the nervousness that Atticus felt before telling me his feelings? Oh now I just feel like the biggest jerk for squishing those feelings like a bug. Atticus's eyes soften as he leans in a little, making my heart skip a beat.

"Jackie, please tell me what's wrong." He gently pleads, looking me over with such genuine concern it makes my stomach painfully churn.

"I ... ugh, look, Atticus I'm just so confused!" I start, burying my face in my hands so he couldn't see the rising red coloring. I feel so weird a-and so odd being the one to confess to him. I've never done anything like this before.

"About what, Jackie? Did something happen?" He pushes, giving my knee a light, unintentional or deliberate squeeze.

"Atticus, I ... ," I hesitate, swallowing the prideful lump in my throat, "I don't think of you as a kid, Atticus." I mutter loud enough for him to hear. His fingers stiffen a bit, staring at me in disbelief.

"Wh ... but, you said it yourself. That I was a kid," He trails off, looking away with a faint blush.

"I was scared. I was scared, th-that ... that if I admitted that I didn't see you as a kid ... that I would open up to you eventually." I unwillingly relent, hugging my knees as I cowardly hide my face. So, so so embarrassing ... he probably thinks that I'm crazy for suddenly changing my mind and latching onto him. But ... oh to hell with it he's not perfect and I sure as hell aren't either.

"J-Just like my dream ... ," he mutters almost too quietly for me to hear before looking up to me, "really? Why would you be afraid of that?" Atticus asks, gently rubbing my knee through the thin fabric of my pants.

"I ... I'm scared. I still am, at being i-intimate with people. Because every person I've had prior has left me without so much as a glance back." I say, my heart aching as I open up and slowly break down some of my defenses. This is scary ... no wonder I tend to get emotionless when I'm scared of someone rejecting me. Closing them out of my barriers is my only defense to protect my fragile heart. B-But being this vulnerable ... is giving me anxiety that might just make my heart stop beating in fear of hearing his answer. He can so easily be as cruel as I was a-and if he is ... by gosh I have no idea how I will react.

His hand reached out and gently held her hand, causing her to look up.

"I don't want to leave you. Ever. I'll fight to tooth and nail to stay with you." He reassures, reaching forward and taking my hand in his. I hesitantly look up, struggling to keep up my facade of calmness. Which, at this point, I'm sure is a crumbling mess.

"And what about in a few years if you meet someone you like more than me and your own age. Then what would you do?" I demand a little more harshly than I meant. Like with Vivaldi. Ugh ... I can't believe she's getting under my skin like this! She's not anywhere close to his or my age.

"You'd never leave my mind or my heart, Jackie," Atticus smiles, squeezing my hand back. My face grows brighter in shade as my heart painfully thumps.

"Ow ... this is more emotion than I can handle." I breathe, trying to make the situation a little lighter as I clutch my chest. I never knew my heart could literally feel this heavy in my chest. Atticus's cheeks touch with pink before he timidly smiles.

"Y-Yeah ... same thing for me." He says, his ears and face deepening in color. I study him, taking courage by his nervous and timid nature. That's ... cute. I like that quirk about him. Atticus glances up before offering me a honey melted smile.

"You mean a lot to me, Jackie. I promise." He says. I blink as he shyly leaves a quick peck on my cheek. I stare dumbly at him from the innocent gesture before my entire face turns to the color of a tomato. Atticus smiles and sheepishly chuckles, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulls me into a surprisingly strong and confident hug.

"You're so cute, Jackie!" Atticus beams, hugging me close and Jackie gulped. Me? Adorable? He is freaking adorable one!

"D-Don't say that! I-I-It's embarrassing!" I shout, hiding my face in his shoulder. Oh man ... I've never been called cute before a-and it's so embarrassing!

"But it's the truth." Atticus places another kiss against my cheek, joyfully grinning.

I shiver with pleasure and embarrassingly nuzzle my head into his warm neck. No fair ... he's making me so flustered I don't know what to do with myself. I'm the older one here so I should be making him the flustered one. A wicked thought crosses my mind as I hide my frown into his neck. I've seen the red marks on Alice's neck here and there and I know where she got them but how did Blood do it? I think it out through my mind, staring at his skin for a few moments.

... well, I'm guaranteed an interesting reaction.

I nervously frown into his neck as I pucker up and try to figure out where to bite. Somewhere sensitive, that's for sure. But how do I start it? With gentle kisses? I gently wrap an arm around his shoulders and head, making him hold still for me as I awkwardly kiss his skin and try to find a good pace to work with. This is embarrassing but I really, really want to see his reaction. Is this moving too fast? Definitely. Do I really care right now, especially after all of the emotional truama he's causes for me in a few short time periods? Nope so I'm going to make it hurt and enjoy his squirming for a change. Chomp chomp motha humpa.

"J-Jackie?" He stammers, puzzled. Well that's disappointing I was hoping he would be a little more flustered. I've never given anyone a hickey before so this will be interesting. I tighten my grip over his shoulders and head as I gently kiss along his neck, trying to make him flustered. I'm not stopping until he begs, passes out, gets an -ahem-, or all three. I'm going to make him suffer for putting me through such hell and this is one way I'm going to do it. I snicker under my breath in anticipation before continuing the trail of kisses.

"A-ah! Jackie, w-what're you ... ?" He blushes, twitching with each peck I leave him. I experimentally slip my tongue out, tempted to give a small tap but quickly reel it back in and give him a slightly more wet kiss. Heck, that's something I'm not ready for.

I gently hunt for a specific area, hesitating before very lightly sucking on the skin. My brother once explained how to give someone a hickey now that I'm thinking about it. I wonder if I can actually do it right? His breathing hitches, indicating I must be on the right track at least.

"A-Ah, ngghhh ... ," he groans, hesitantly gripping my waist as he bites on his lower lip to silence his meek whines. I gently knead the skin with my lips before prematurely letting go, resting my head on his shoulder. Oh this is embarrassing ... seriously, what am I doing? I just admitted that I like him and I'm giving him a hickey? Wow ... I didn't realize just how eager I was to ... to, well, get intimate. But then again being 18 years old with no boyfriend ever I can see how some sexual frustration would begin to grow. And yes, I want to see him squirm too. Actually, that's mainly what I wanted to do b-but now I actually ... want to continue in other ways. My heart trembles with the thought of taking it further so quickly, instead hiding my face on his shoulder. Stupid, I'm so stupid. I'm going to scare him off if I'm too aggressive.

"Ah, um ... w-wow ... ," he nervously pants, hugging me closer against him.

"Did I do alright?" I anxiously ask, examining the mark. Hm ... it's not turning red or irritated like my brother explained. If I do it right he's supposed to be bruised for a little while. I guess I didn't suck hard enough.

"It was great," he blushes, pressing his head against mine in the hug, "b-b-but what was it?" Oh ... right. He's more inexperienced than I am. Well, not that I actually did anything but I had my lewd and stupid brother that liked to talk about things a lot, especially when he's hammered so it's near impossible I wouldn't have learned a thing or two from him.

"Yeah?" I sheepishly chuckle, happy that he's at least decently flustered too, more so than me. Oh this is too cute! I pull him into a quick, tight hug before letting go. "I'm glad. My brother explained it once to me and this is my first time ... well, trying it out."

"Well, um ... it was great, Jackie," Atticus blushes. This is a first time for the both of us. Being in a relationship and doing things like this. I know I should take things slow but ... but in all honesty, being the older one I want to dominate him in every aspect and make him think I know what I'm doing when in reality I'm as lost as he is.

... and that's the part of me I'm going to hide so I don't scare him away.

"Heh. That's good." I grin before blushing. Since I went ahead and gave him one should I let him give me one too? I hesitate before pulling my hair off to one shoulder and glancing away. " ... d-do you want to try?" He remains silent, obviously dumbfounded with the thought. I feel my resolve waver but stand in place, waiting for his reaction.

"Y-Yeah, sure ... ," he hesitantly agrees, sounding like he was on the verge of fainting.

"A-Alright, then?" He nervously gulps, readjusting me on his lap. W-Wow, is he really going to do it? I expected him to say no. He leans in, nervously and stiffly pressing his lips against my neck. I gently rub his back for encouragement, giving him the idea to relax and coaxing his lips while leaving soft kisses on my neck.

I lightly shiver as his mouth passes over my sensitive skin, trying to not pull away from him as an automatic reaction. It feels ... strange. Not uncomfortable but it's just weird. I'm so vulnerable and open right now with not only my feelings but with my body as well and it's a scary thought. After a few hesitant moments his lips hop along my skin back to the section that made me lightly tremble with nervous yet excited anticipation.

I smoothly breathe in and out, trying not to laugh at his hesitation. Honestly ... just go for it. If I don't like it I'll push you off. I audibly chuckle under my breath, hoping he doesn't hear it. I don't want him to think that I'm laughing at him. Which I am.

"Hn ... ," h hums, seeming to have trouble as to where to deliver the naughty mark. He angled his head a few times, finalizing the spot. A shiver crawls over my spine as his teeth graze over a sensitive bit of skin before he gently sucks on it.

I suck in a quick, audible breath and instinctively flinch away before holding still. W-Wow~! T-T-That felt p-pretty good. A blush spreads across my face as he stiffens up from the sound I made and slows his pace before stopping entirely.

"Sorry ... ," he murmurs against the particular spot, making me shiver.

"Why are you sorry? I-It felt good," I encourage, leaning towards him. Gosh I'm so embarrassed telling him to continue bu-but it felt nice. So gentle and soft. My fingers slide trough his hair and pull him closer, feeling his warm breath over the area. His lips move around the area for a moment and touch base before continuing the adventurous playing.

"Mhm...," I hum, flinching pleasurably from his touch. He's so gentle ... heh. I wonder how he would react if I say something about it? I deeply inhale and pull his head closer before muttering in his ear, "you can be a little rougher you know."

"E-Eh ... ?" He stammers, clearly surprised by my encouragement. Will he really do it I wonder ... ? Oh man me and my curiosity is going to kill me. His lips gently part as he makes a few hesitant brushes with the edges of his teeth before biting down completely.

"Ah!" I squeak, digging my fingers into his head. Holy crap he actually did it?! My lips tightly shut as he leans forward, pushing me back onto the bed while he alternates between rough and gentle kisses. His tongue sweeps against the fiery hot skin before he bites down roughly, sucking and then softly kissing the forming hickey.

My entire body tingles with pleasure as he pulls back. W-Wow that was weird ... b-but it felt good. I flinch at the sensitive area, feeling it pulse warmly and smoothly, not at all painfully throbbing.

"I feel like I did you an injustice." I admit, brushing my fingers over the mark. I shiver and let out a shaky breath, feeling the sensitive area under my fingers. Wow~!

"I don't mind, I think I'll pass out if we do anymore," he sheepishly admits as he scratches the back of his head, flustered.

"Pfffft really? Well now I have to." I laugh, tackling him into the bed.

"Gah! No, Jackie, not like this, hhhgh!" He flinches as I move my lips over his neck, softly kissing it and waiting for his reaction, "J-Jackie, please, I-I really don't think I can take it-!"

I smirk against his neck and out into my infamous belly laughter, rolling off as I clutch my stomach. Oh, my gosh he's too funny-!

"OH, OH MY GOSH YOU'RE TOO FUNNY~!" I delightfully shout, on the verge of busting a gut. His reaction, my gosh his reaction is too funny-!

"Y-You tease ... ," Atticus gloomily pouts, hiding his burning face behind a pillow.

"S-sorry I couldn't help myself." I snicker, hugging his back. "Ha ha ... pfffft."

"Sorry, sorry." I apologize while laughing, rubbing his sides and back as recompense. I couldn't help it, he just looked too cute! Oh no~ he's tapping into my sadistic side ha ha.

"It's fine," Atticus sighs before lifting up his head, glancing over at her, smiling, "really."

"Then I didn't tease enough." I grin before hopping on him, furiously tickling his sides.

"GAAAH! AHAHA! STOP!" He shouts, terrified at the sudden attack as he immediately tries to crawl away. I hook my arm around his waist and use my weight to anchor him down.

"No way~," I purr as I sit on his lower back and mercilessly attack his sides. Atticus laughs hard, tears of joy dabbing the corner of his eyes as he tries to gently push me off.

"Hahaha off-off-!" He hysterically howled, unable to stop my advance.

"Say mercy!" I order with a grin.

"N-No way, ahaha!" He laughs heartily, thrashing lightly. His arms tremble before hoisting himself up. "Gaha! Jackie! Stop!"

I fall off as he sits himself up from the bed, panting as I struggle to slow my rampant laughter. H

"Hahaha! Ah ... " his laughter trails off as he holds his stomach. "Now my stomach aches."

"Good." I grin before gently hugging him from behind. I'm ... so happy. So, so so happy. Well, at least happier than I was about a half hour ago. I'm worried that this feeling of happiness is going to leave if he does. "So ... what are you going to do? About the job and all."

"It would be rude to quit after I just accepted it." Atticus sighs before cheerfully tacking on, "I can spend my breaks and day offs with you though."

"Boo." I pout, looking annoyed. I just want to see how he would react to this. Now that we're ... together I'm completely at ease. Wow my emotions are crazy. Maybe I'm PMSing? That would explain a great deal.

"I'm sorry Jackie, " Atticus apologizes before gently smiling, "I'll try to find a way to make it up to you. Promise."

"With interest." I tease with a grin.

"Of course with interest," he says with a determined look. Aw, he's so cute. "I'll do my best, okay?"

"Yeah." I smile, gently taking his hand. He's so cute~

‡

Awe~ aren't they just the cutest couple ever?! Ha ha, 10 REVIEWS for the next chapter~ what would you guys like to see happen in the next arc? :3