Mike is dead.
Hanji is injured.
Erwin has lost his fucking arm.
Levi is sitting between the beds in which Erwin and Hanji are lying, wondering for the umpteenth time why exactly he decided to rescue that stupid girl only to receive that stupid injury so he had to stay with that stupidly unhelpful little shit of a priest.
Stupid little brat's stupid girlfriend. Or sister. Or whatever. Levi was definitely not interested.
But he cared. When has he started caring so much? Look at what that has made him; a cripple who could not help his friends so they are crippled, now, too.
And in Erwin's case that is not even an exaggeration.
Levi stands up and sighs deeply. After checking that both of them were still heavily sedated, he bends down to Hanji and kisses her on the forehead. Then he turns to Erwin and brushes through the still annoyingly perfect hair with his fingers. He looks out of the window; the sun is setting, the town is eerily quiet under the orange sky.
Levi cannot appreciate the beauty of the scenery.
"Corporal, sir. What should we do with him?"
There was a loud ringing in Levi's ears after seeing Erwin, seeing his... injury. Gore and blood and dirt was everywhere. Levi was used to that but... he was not used to Erwin looking so defeated.
And he certainly was not used to the completely horrified look in Eren's usually brave eyes when the soldier shoved him into Levi's direction after speaking. It was like back then, when they have found out about Eren's ability. But Levi though everyone has got used to it... Why did that stupid soldier shove Eren like that? Didn't he know Eren was his... was in his squad, the last of his squad?
But the ringing did not stop, it grew louder with Eren's trembling lips, with Eren's fidgeting, with Eren's reek of complete fear.
"What is wrong, Jäger?"
Finally some words, and they did not even sound too broken. He was in charge now.
He hated being in charge.
Eren did not answer. Levi thought about kicking him, but something held him back. He looked around and his eyes found these two kids; Ackerman and Arlert.
They were a few meters away from them. From Eren. Who looked like he had just experienced the worst shit in his life.
And for fuck's sake, that kid had already gone through a lot of shit.
Eren was still silent, so the soldier who shoved him into Levi's direction - who also was now standing a few meters behind the terrified boy, terrified himself - spoke up.
"Corporal, you need to handle him. Please, sir, do something. He... he controls the Titans. He is the King of the Titans. The biggest monster of them all."
Eren's eyes when Levi ordered him back to a cellar, ordered the soldier to chain him up again, will never stop haunting him. At least he supposes so.
But what else could he have done? All eyes were on him. Everyone was so afraid of Eren. They needed a command decision.
And the real commander has lost his fucking arm.
"Shit. Shit shit shit, hey, Erwin, hey shitty glasses, wake up, you asshats..."
No one is there. He is alone.
The only person he could talk to now was chained up in some dark basement. And that is his fault.
Levi shivers. It has gotten cold in the infirmary room, so he closed the window and finally exited the room.
A certain sense of gloom hangs in the air of the headquarters. Their own people are traitors, and one of them has a power that makes everyone so afraid they do not even dare leave the rooms.
Even Ackerman and Arlert are staying inside, Levi notices when he passes their room, hearing hushed voices.
He hates caring so much.
The first thing he hears are sobs.
Fucking great.
"Hey. Eren."
From the corner of the cell that was the furthest away from him a pair of green eyes are suddenly reflecting the light of his candle. This particular colour stood in stark contrast to the otherwise filthy boy, filthy room, filthy world. Just as on the other days that belong to the past...
"What do you want, you little piece of shit?"
"I will kill all the Titans."
...
"It's not your fault."
"It is! It... if I just had shifted..."
"You decided to trust us, Eren. They were so happy you did. Even I... I was glad you did, kid. It made me proud, it made them proud. They knew you trusted them, you believed in them. They died knowing that and this is a good thing."
Eren sniffed.
"We were a good team, weren't we?"
Levi put his hand on Eren's, sitting on the kid's bed and leaning against the dark, damp wall, watching Eren's green eyes, the steel behind the sad look in them, and he realised that as long as Eren is not broken, this world has a chance.
His world has a chance.
The candle flickered, and the shadows made it almost look like Levi smiled.
"We still are, Eren. We still are."
"I have failed you all."
He enters the cell and lets himself slide to the ground, next to Eren. Their shoulders touch. Eren looks at him in shock.
"You're here...?", he whispers.
"We're a team, Eren. You and I." He looks at the crying, dirty kid in the cell, looking broken but... the steel is still there, the sheer will to succeed, the thing that keeps not only Eren himself but both of them going.
Because it is the same steel that resides in Levi's own silver eyes.
Eren smiles.
Levi finds that he can appreciate the beauty of this.
"You did not fail anyone, sir. You were not even there."
Levi smiles, too, but his smile is bitter.
"That is the point, stupid brat." He sighs deeply and closes his eyes, does not want to see the admiring look on that kid's face that's always kind of there when he looks at his corporal. Usually he secretely bathes in Eren's admiration, knowing he is the only one who receives this look from the most beautiful pair of eyes...
Levi clears his throat.
He sees the candle flickering through his closed eyes, and listens to Eren's clear voice.
"You... you were injured because you saved my sister, so..."
Sister.
"... it wasn't your fault. Also... also...", the kid starts sobbing again, great, but Levi feels so much better after Eren giving him absolution, „also I'm so glad you weren't there", Eren whispers. "I wouldn't know what to do seeing you as injured as the commander is, or... you seeing me turning into a complete monster."
Shit. I'm the most selfish person in the world, coming down here to get reassured by a 15-year-old who's just gone through the most traumatic shit ever.
Levi wraps his arm around Eren's shivering body which shudders through his violent sobs, and whispers into Eren's hair.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do when you came in, I had to lock you up again in here, I..."
Eren freezes at first, but then hesitant arms suddenly appear around Levi's waist.
"You are not a monster." I am.
Teary eyes are staring up to him now, green, so very green.
Full of hot burning steel.
Suddenly Levi gets so angry.
"So why aren't Mikasa and Armin here?", Eren asks, and Levi realises that his anger is only the feeling the steel in him mirrors, because... because it is in resonance with Eren's, he is in resonance with Eren, he has been since the moment in which Eren told him he wanted to kill all the titans.
"I don't know, Eren." Because they are afraid of you.
"Only you came."
Levi's grip around Eren tightens. Eren's grip around Levi tightens.
They are both alone when they are not with each other.
"I don't need them to kill the Titans", Eren suddenly spits out, and a grin distorts his face.
Only his eyes stay the same.
He still looks up to Levi, all hard eyes and teeth. He looks so beautiful.
"I can command the Titans now, corporal. And you are the commander now. My commander. All it takes is you and me, isn't it? Isn't it, corporal?"
Maybe he is a monster, after all.
Levi takes Erens face into his hands. Kisses the face that is all crazy eyes and crazier mouth, the most beautiful face he has ever seen, kisses the tears away, kisses his mouth, he is in a frenzy, he sees glinting green steel, glinting silver steel reflects everything, and he is so angry, so angry at Erwin and Hanji for getting injured, so angry at Ackerman and Arlert for being weak, so very very angry at the world.
"You and I, we will defeat them. We will kill all the Titans", whispers Levi, lips almost touching Eren's grin.
Eren is a monster.
But he is not the only one.