Author's notes: Hello there!
I'm sorry that this has taken so long, believe me when I say that everyday I think about writing this but every time I sit down to write I simply can't get any ideas out.
That's when I get new ides for new fics and it's hard to not write those and then my current ones remain unfinished and it gets quite stressful.
I'm trying my best to write so you guys can read, but please forgive me if it isn't my best work.
But, regardless I hope you still enjoy this chapter! (:
(Please don't die from feels)

Things change (Haymitch and Effie)

Chapter fourteen.

I was emotionally wrecked. My entire world had crumbled around me. I didn't have a lot to beginning with, but Effie was the light in my darkness, she gave me happiness, a reason to keep going. But coming into my life had punished her. Hurt her more than what we thought possible.

She had been tortured physically by the capitol, but from that her mental scars began to heal. But now they were back. Effie was now a vacant being. Almost lifeless. She wasn't the same.

I sat beside her. Just watching her chest rise and fall. Her eyes were closed, but I new she was awake. It was just easier for her to shut everything out. Shut out your vision so you cant see the hurt around you. And then everyone else, the inflictors of the pain will leave you alone. It's like an escape that locks you away.

I took hold of her hand.

"Effie. It's me. I know that you're awake and I know tat you can hear me, but I don't need you to open your eyes, I just need to listen to me. What happened yesterday was in no way your fault. Okay? It was the doing of another, and it was…incredibly tragic that you had to be the victim once again. You didn't deserve to lose something so precious. Not again. And I want you to know Effie, that despite all of my weaknesses I will be right by your side, throughout any kind of shit that this world throws at you; after all, you are the one who gave me strength in the first place. You gave me light in my life again, new eyes to see that a person can truly be happy in this world. Light is always brighter when there is darkness, and I feel that I need to return the favour. Effie, I'm hurting too, but remember that you are still strong, I am in no way stronger in the scenario. Just remember that if we stand together we can break through all of the hurt; and maybe live a normal life. Because I love you, Effie. I really do love you."

I was crying. Effie gave my hand a tiny squeezed, just to let me know that she was listening. Then she opened her eyes. Although she was looking in my direction she was not exactly looking at me, it was like her eyes were staring right through me, like I wasn't even there.

She seemed so vacant, so different. She wasn't her chirpy Capitol self. She wasn't even her chirpy normal self. The core of the situation was that she wasn't even herself.

There is always a limit to what people can take, how much torture they can endure before they finally break and crumble to dust. I feared that Effie had been forced to cross that line. All the excitement of starting a family, all the happiness and anticipation had been snatched from her; and she was now left to pick up the pieces of her life that would just slip through her fingers.

Broken. We both were. I had no idea what to say to her, asking her how she was feeling would just seem insensitive, but it would be the same if she asked me. After all, we both lost out child. Then she muttered,

"Thank you, Haymitch." I took both her hands in my and looked at her - holding in my tears.

"We can get through this, Sweetheart. I can promise you that. I know that promises probably aren't the best thing for either of us to make. But I can ensure you think I'll keep this one."

"Thank you." She said again. She was so brave. I could see how much this had already changed her, I just hoped that there was still a spark of her strength left in her, just something to keep her going.

Effie had ignited mine when she returned, but now even mine was beginning to die. I held Effie in my arms for hours that night, I just wanted to remind her that she wasn't alone in this; we were both broken, but we could both get each other through this. But she was the most delicate and she needed to be held.

We returned home much sooner than I'd have liked. Home probably wasn't the right word to use…we returned to the house; because although Effie and I still loved each other, things seemed so much different, the was a distance between us.

Broken by the tragedy, we felt a severe lack of comfort and affection, there was no homely feel to the house at that point, it was just a series of large rooms.

Nothing more. Like all the care had been drained from the walls. It was quite. Dark. Lifeless. Like we had returned to everything we fought to get rid of. Like it was all back to hunt us down. I lean against the wall, not doing or thinking about anything in particular.

I just want all this hurt to be over. For the nightmare to end. We both do. It makes me feel useless, that I could be some kind of indirect cause of the death oh my child, I left Effie alone, I know that at the time I couldn't possibly have conceived the idea of Effie coming into any kind of harm.

But…it just makes me feel…awful; and to potentially be responsible for something as drastic and heartbreak as that….it's something that stays with you for the rest of your life, and even if you were placed into the happiest situation possible, it still lingers in your mind, make you feel so guilty and so sick. My eyes cast over the envelope that we sealed fish with our money.

We'll never know who the winner was. We never knew our baby. I take a light hold of the envelope and begin to tear away the corner….

"Haymitch! No!" Effie wailed. She snatched the envelope out of my grasp. "It's for the baby!" She cried surely.

"No, Effie….please no! Don't do this to yourself!" I cried - tears stinging my cheeks. But as her finger entwined around it, as all the memories of preparing for the baby flooded back to her she finally snapped. She began to shake and cry feverishly. She dropped to her knees. So did I. The envelope was crushed beneath us.

"Effie, I'm hurting too, but you can't lie to yourself this way! -" I said between my sobs. "- You know that….. -" I almost couldn't bring myself to say this…. "-You know that there is no baby. Effie, I'm broken by this too, but lying about it….will….will just make it so much worse! We both need to accept what happened, if we accept it then we can begin to heal each other; I know that it'll take a long time, we might never completely heal, but we need to try!" We wrapped our arms around each other's necks and pressed our foreheads together lightly.

"I know….-" She sniffed. "-I know….I just….I just….didn't want to…say it out loud…." She took several deep breaths. "…Because when you say it out loud….that's when….it becomes…true. And I didn't want it to be true, Haymitch!"

"I know, Effie. Neither did I. I wanted us to have the life we were expecting to create…"

"I did too." She replied quietly.

"I just…felt partially responsible, I shouldn't have left you on your own…!" murmured.

"You couldn't have….You couldn't have known that this was going to happen…I blamed myself for letting go…"

"No! This isn't your fault, Effie! Deep down you know that!" I assured.

"And you know that it wasn't your fault either." She sniffed.

"It was just something that happened. Something terrible. We just happened to be the victims again…"

We stayed their on the floor, just crying to each other, finally releasing all of the tears we held in for days. It was the first big step we took to overcoming the trauma. We didn't know where the next step would take us, or even if we could make it.

But our job was to keep each other sane. I was terrified that Effie had lost her mind, terrified that I may have to let her go too. We brought each other back into the harsh reality. It seemed like a punishment at first; but it soon turned into a favour. I wrapped my arms around Effie hugged her tightly.

"Effie, I love you, and throughout all of this I will be right by your side." I whispered. Every word was true. It had always been that way,

We're better now, of course that in no way means that we've overcome the torture we went through that day in the Capitol - We'll probably never recover from that. But we've mended each other enough so that we're able to live another life together.

We have not planned to have any more children - not because we're afraid that history will repeat itself, but because we fear that it will just bring back the memories of what we almost had. We called off our wedding, we both agreed that we just want to be happy together, no need to put it on a piece of paper.

We'd much rather grow old together and watch the children next door live their lives. All four of us earned the right to live happily, we may not have got it straight away, or not even fully. But slowly, happiness was coming to all of us. We just needed to find it.

The baby's room is now left gathering dust, along with everything else we linked to that period in time. It's a memory we prefer not ro revisit. But it shall always remain with us. We will never loose the love we had for that unborn child of ours.

It's said that you should never end on a sad note; but to that I say why end at all? Why not keep going? If you have someone by your side that you love, then there is no reason to give that up. Always fight for what you love.

Author's notes: THAT'S THE END!
Yes, there you go, this story started off as a cheesy one shot and fourteen chapters later it became the most successful thing that I've ever written.
I really hope that you enjoyed that,

I can't thank you all enough for all your amazingly kind feedback an for taking the time out of your lives to read this.

I would like to dedicate this to my friend Franzi. With her, This might not have been finished.

Thank you to all my Instagram followers and friends for the compliments!
And, of course this is dedicated to all you amazing readers! I couldn't do any of this without you!
Thank you! xxx