How Luigi Saved Princess Peach while Trapped in a Closet
(One day at Mario's house…)
Luigi: Mario! Have you seen my-
(Luigi sees Mario gnawing on a block of dried pasta.)
Luigi: Mario! You don't eat it like that, you… *sigh*
(Mario, ignoring Luigi, continues to gnaw on the pasta.)
Luigi: Mario, have you seen my book?
(Mario continues to ignore Luigi.)
Luigi: Mario!
Mario: OH! Hi there, Looie!
Luigi: (Finally…) Mario, have you seen my book? The one you said you wanted to look at?
Mario: Your book? It didn't have any pictures, Looie!
Luigi: No, it didn't. Where is it now, Mario?
Mario: It didn't taste good either!
Luigi: It- What?!
Mario: It tasted like your shoes! So I threw it far away, Looie!
Luigi: Stop calling me Looie! … Where'd you throw it?!
Mario: Um, um, um, the scary closet!
Luigi: Yeah… The scary closet…
(FLASHBACK)
Luigi passes by a small closet. A screaming noise comes from inside.
Luigi: Mario?! Is that you? Are you okay?
Mario: Help-a me! I'm lost!
(BACK TO THE PRESENT)
Luigi: Mario, why'd you do that?
(Mario has gone back to chewing on the pasta-block.)
Luigi: *SIGH*
(Luigi goes to the "Scary Closet". He wrenches open the door and walks inside - slamming his head right into their old hammers. He falls to the floor, and a large, open bucket of white paint (Mario's) falls over from a shelf and spills all over Luigi. Anger ensues.)
Luigi: MARIO! Why did you leave your paint all open?!
(Mario walks over and sees Luigi covered in paint.)
Mario: A ghost! Mamamia!
Luigi: What- No!
(Mario slams the door shut and puts a chair up under the doorknob.)
Mario: Just try to escape now, you evil ghost!
Luigi: Mario! It's me, not a gho-
Mario: Oh no! Luigi's in there with the ghost! Don't-a worry, Luigi! I'll go-a get help! I'm-a getting Mario! He'll save you!
Luigi: Mario! Stop being an idio-
(The front door slams shut. Needless to say, Mario does not stop being an idiot.)
Luigi: Gah! Now what? I guess I'll just have to wait for Mario to realize he's Mario… I can't even stand up, I'll hit my head on the hammers again. *sigh*
(Meanwhile, Mario reaches Toad Town.
Mario: Excuse me! I need to get Mr. Mario! Hee hee!
(Mario knocks over his fifth fruit stand and hurries onward to Peach's Castle.)
(Meanwhile, in an airship above Mario's house…)
Roy: All right men, here's the plan. After we lower the airship, all you have to do is go into Mario's house, plant the device, and then get out of there.
Koopa: What exactly does the device do? And what about… Mario and Luigi?
Roy: Mario has left his house… for some unknown, idiotic reason. I thought he would read Luigi's book, where we planted the sleeping device, and fall asleep, but it looks like he didn't. But Luigi must have fallen asleep, otherwise he'd leave with Mario like he always does. This device that fool Ludwig created will send out a wave that will put all of the Kingdom asleep - then we can nab Princess Peach again!
Koopa: Brilliant, sir.
Roy: All right, the airship is being lowered right now. You two need to finish your job quickly and effectively, before Mario gets back. Now hurry!
Koopas: Yes sir!
(They both jump out, carrying the large device. But as they open the door to the house-)
Luigi: Mario! Finally, you're back!
Koopas: Gah!
(They shut the door quickly.)
Koopa: Oh crud. Luigi's still awake. We've gotta get outta here.
Other Koopa: But if we go back, Roy will have our heads!
Koopa: Um… Let's just run!
(Both of the Koopas run into the large forest near the house.)
(Inside the house…)
Luigi: Mario, you- *unpleasant words!*
(After several hours, and plenty of pointless detours, Mario reaches Peach's Castle…)
Mario: Whoopee! I made it!
(Peach comes out.)
Peach: Oh! Mario! What are you doing here?
Mario: I'm outta pasta!
Peach: Oh my! That's terrible… By the way, would you like some cake?
Mario: Mmm! Yummy! Yes sir!
Peach: Luigi won't mind, will he?
Mario: Luigi? Who's-a dat? Let's have cake!
Peach: Hee hee, Mario, you're so funny!
They walk into the castle as the sun sets.
(And so, Luigi saved Princess Peach from being captured with four words, and spent a fun night being covered in sticky, wet paint.)
THE END