Authors Note: Here's the beginning of this! The plot will start to seem clearer the further in we get! Review please!

~Natty

"…remember, we're running on evasive maneuvers! If one of us is caught it's all over; Alice finds out we've escaped again and we're going to have a huge problemo- Break for the right!" the leader stopped his speaking to order suddenly and him and his whole team slid to the right to go around a sharp corner. They could hear the heavy footsteps directly on their tails. If they didn't do something else, they'd be caught for sure. "Stop-tailing maneuvers! Try to slow him down; the man's right on top of us!"

The analyst and the weapons expert gave unison affirmative nods.

The two taller penguins slid ahead of the two shortest penguins, standing up right next to some piled metal cans. The analyst and the weapons expert shoved the cans over, sending them rolling down the zoo sidewalk.

The private slid left and the leader slid left to avoid the oncoming cans, successfully evading them.

This much couldn't be said for their aggressor who was directly hit, tripping over the metal wastebaskets with an angered cry. "PENGUINS!" Officer X yelled after the heroes in black and white.

"I think that just made him madder, Skippah." Private pushed forward to make himself go faster in his sliding. "Maybe we shouldn't have left our habitat in the middle of the day in the first place."

"It's too late for regrets, Private. We're in the fire now and there is no looking back. And…I don't know about you three but I'm not regretting the early snow cone retrieval mission at all that much." Skipper shrugged while sliding.

Kowalski scoffed in ridicule as if the answer was obvious. How could anyone ever regret a snow cone? Such a situation was simply unheard of. "Of course not!"

"Nuh uh." Rico agreed.

Private nodded as the four slid to the left this time. "They were awfully nice today…"

"PENGUINS!" came the ex-officer's shout for the umpteenth time that evening. He was running after them again, albeit slower but he was still right behind them.

"There's just no stopping this guy!" Skipper exclaimed. "Kowalski, we need options and fast!"

"We've already exhausted our best options, Skipper. I'm afraid there are only the options of last resort left for our use." Kowalski said.

"Waait!" Skipper halted his belly slide, standing up to stop in the middle of the zoo path. "Just how much of a last resort is this last resort? Because there are many last resorts I'd rather take an absolute last resort over, if you catch my drift."

Kowalski stood up in his slide but not quick enough, ramming into his leader with an 'oof'. The analyst rubbed his stomach where Skipper's elbow got him in the ribs and halted on the path as well. "If you're talking about the last resort you'd take over going to Hoboken, then no, I wasn't thinking that extreme of a last resort. And is it really smart to just stop in the middle of the crosswalk like this? We're being chased for evolutionary theorist's sake!"

Private slid up from behind them, not seeing his two superiors in front of him until it was too late and he too rammed into the leader, landing back on his bum. "I think he's stopped chasing us, Skippah. I can't hear him anymore."

Skipper nodded. "Good, we have some time. Now, explain these last resorts."

Kowalski nodded back. "I meant something on the lines of finding Alice and using her as a metaphorical shield. I say metaphorical because she won't really be taking any projectiles in our place. We find Alice, and hide behind her. It's basically her job to protect us against outside forces such as animal control, or in this case…" The analyst snickered. "X-animal control!" Kowalski laughed at his joke.

The leader didn't look amused. "I'd smack you for making that pun if I didn't already hate the option you just gave me but I would think that that alone should be enough to shame you."

Kowalski looked down in shame, before the weapons expert rounded the corner and rammed into him from behind, sending the analyst flat on his face.

Rico stood up, dusting himself off unfazed as he waddled over to join the group.

"We aren't school girls, Kowalski! We are not defenseless! We fight things we started all the way to the end, and we don't ask for help from innocent civilians!" Skipper scolded. "Now, next option-OOF!" the leader was lifted off his feet, a tight hand closed around his chest, cutting off his air.

"Skippah!" Private gasped as Officer X appeared out of nowhere, hefting their leader up in the air.

"Now I have you! You four aren't going anywhere! Maybe to a nice uncomfortable cage down at the animal control headquarters! I'm sure you'll X-cel there nicely!" Officer X smirked down at the three subordinate penguins.

"Stupid…puns…" Skipper gasped out, the restricting hand squeezing his lungs harder.

"Do something, K'walski! He's hurting Skippah!" Private cried.

"I- I…I don't know what to do!" Kowalski stuttered, panicked. "He's too good!"

"RUN!" The leader surprised everyone by screaming.

Officer X turned at the loud squawk that was given by the penguin in his hand. "Oh no you don't!" The officer started shaking the leader violently. "Whenever you talk they follow your orders! And you don't have the right to not stay silent, penguin!"

"R-RUN, BOYS!" Skipper ordered, feeling his neck about to snap from the shaking he was receiving. He felt his neck turn against his will, leaving a burning sensation trailing down his spine. "AGH!"

"SKIPPAH!" Private screamed for his leader.

"Come on!" Kowalski grabbed the private's flipper and began leading himself and the two remaining teammates to safety by making them retreat via belly slide.

"We have to go back!" Private yelled as the analyst pulled him along the ground in their slide.

"No, we have to get Alice! She's the only one who can stop this!" Kowalski objected, and slid around the corner, coming out in front of their own habitat. Where was Alice? She had to be around here somewhere! The analyst looked around desperately in every direction, eyes racing. There was absolutely no sign of the underpaid zookeeper.

"Come back!" Officer X skidded into the middle of the zoo behind them, a weak Skipper in hand. "You wouldn't leave your leader behind, now would you?"

"Hey! What is all dat noise coming from outside de royal habitat?" Julien peered down from his throne, halting Maurice's fanning of him with a raise of a hand.

In the otter habitat, Marlene too could see what was going on. She spit out her drink, gasping in sudden panic. "Oh my gosh, Skipper!"

"I say, what's the commotion?" Mason stopped his paintbrush mid-stroke on the canvas in front of him. The chimp looked over at the row coming from in front of the penguin habitat. "Oh dear."

"You put Skippah down!" Private yelled at the officer, trying to sound bolder than he looked but his tears made that impossible.

"Oo dow'!" Rico used his flipper to point at the ground as if he were speaking to a disobedient dog.

"ALICE!" Kowalski shouted at the top of his lungs. Maybe if she or a human heard him squawking loud enough, someone would come to their aid. "ALICEEE! WE NEED HE- GUGH!"

Officer X kicked the squawking penguin into the wall with a swing of the foot.

"K'walski!" Private gasped. The small penguin saw the analyst pick his head up from the ground in shock but there was no more squawking from him. Private knew now more than ever that someone needed to do something. This was all terrible. "R-Rico…" the private looked towards the weapons expert with hopeful eyes. Since Rico was now the only one of his superiors in line for action, he had to have some sort of plan right?

"Weh en truhble." Rico said.

"Really? That's all you have?" Private glared in disbelief.

"Shuh uh."

"Shut up?" Private repeated incredulously. "Well why don't you then?"

"A-Al…" Kowalski tried to call again, the kick in his lungs took all the voice out of him. The analyst lifted his head but it fell back down like lead. "A-Alice…help…" Kowalski turned his head to look up at where his leader was. "…Sk-Skipper…" he was able to mumble over to the captured leader.

"Ugh…" Skipper groaned, feeling himself start to slip out of consciousness. The leader refused himself the right to do so and kept his eyes open. He saw the final option as it was and acted it out, using his normally hidden talons to claw at the ex-officer's palm. It work and as the man yelled out in pain, Skipper was dropped painfully to the concrete. He was free at least, if only he could find it in himself to get back up and take the guy on. He pushed himself up as much as he could from the ground, but a sudden weight at his side forced him to slump back down.

"Skippah! Are you alright?!" Private was at the leader's side in an instant, pressing his flippers up against his leader's bruised sides.

"'kipper?" Rico walked up, concerned also.

"I'm alright." Skipper nodded as he got himself up from the ground.

"You're coming back with me!" Officer X said, taking large steps towards the three penguins.

"Stand back." Skipper instructed his team, using his flipper to push the youngest penguin behind him.

"But Skippah, you're hurt!" Private exclaimed. "You can't take him on all by yourself! We'll help you!"

"You penguins think you can beat me, well not this time! I'll show them all I'm not crazy! I'll get you and your whole team!" Officer X laughed. "When I'm done turning you in, I might even come back for your friends!"

Skipper scoffed at him. "I'd like to see you try to take me down! That last time was just a lucky surprise strike but I'm all focus now! Go ahead! Come and get me!" the leader egged the officer on.

Although the officer obviously couldn't speak artic bird, X still knew a challenge when he saw one. "Alright, let's dance, leader bird! Mano a X-o." Officer X growled, facing the glaring penguin.

Skipper stepped forward, ready to fight the man.

Private pulled his leader back by the shoulder to stop him from doing something so dangerous. "Skippah, no!" the young penguin pleaded, not wanting to see his leader get hurt anymore. "You can't…"

Skipper shook his head. "He'll never leave us alone until this little conflict between us is resolved once and for all."

"But you're hurt, Skippah!" Private exclaimed, alarmed.

"'urt 'kipper!" Rico added in.

Private nodded in agreement to the psycho penguin. "He'll hurt you worse!"

"Awww, what's wrong?" Officer X teased. "Your little friends afraid you can't take a little pain? You better get ready for a world of it, even after I get you, animal control is known for it. Known for the pain, that is!"

Julien blinked from up in his habitat. "So are dey going to fight or what?"

"Shh!" Maurice shushed the king who crossed his arms.

Skipper and Officer X shared an intense and slowed down glaring session, each opponent with a hard look and not taking their eyes off their adversary. The two circled each other, and just as the officer was about to bring his baton down on the small penguin, something stopped them in their tracks.

"WHAT is going on here?!" Alice instantly recognizable pitched voice cut through the air, silencing and surprising everyone.

Kowalski sighed in relief from by the otter habitat wall. Private let his breath out all at once and latched onto his leader's side in a relieved embrace, the leader putting his arm around his youngest soldier. Rico backed away a bit because he never really liked Alice in the first place. He was glad she stepped in when she did, but Rico still found her a bit on the unlikeable side.

"Well?!" Alice exclaimed, more than mildly irritated.

"Well…you see…" Officer X fiddled with his baton in his hands until he realized how chided he looked. What was he doing? He didn't answer to this woman! He wore the badges around here, and what did she have? She had the doody on the bottom of her shoes. The officer straightened his slumped shoulders, regaining his serious composure. "M'am, those penguins are fugitives from the law. They're menaces and they're coming with me so that I can take them in, get my job back, and prove to the world that they exist." the officer affirmed with a nod.

"Uh-huh…" Alice nodded, uninterested. "And do you know what those penguins are to me?"

Officer X wasn't expecting a follow up question so he just shrugged. "What?"

"THEY'RE PART OF MY PAYCHECK!" Alice shouted in his face. "Now get lost before I call an actual cop! One with a badge!" the zookeeper scooped up the four small penguins and began walking away with them.

Officer X looked down solemnly at the bare spot where his badge used to be before it was taken. He lowered his head in shame and feeling depressed along with embarrassed he moped his way out of the zoo, cursing those darn penguins under his breath.