Chapter six: first C-rank mission, a team from Konoha and Iwa working together?! FUBAR!

"scarecrow here. Do you read the target?"

"last one: in position."

"illusionist: in position."

"nine: confirming target: it's the fucking hellspawn allright."

"very well, move!"

The four shadowy figures shot out of the bushes and trees surrounding the target, but forgot about the target's years of experience in evading shinobi, resulting in three of the four shadows slamming facefirst into each other, and the fourth to use their backs as a springboard, to capture

the now airborne target.

"ribbon on the ear, confirmed. It's tora allright." The fourth shadow said in an irritated voice. He dropped the cat in his bag, and helped on of the other three up.

"thanks Naruto, though next time, don't use my ass as a springboard please." Yakumo said while clapping the footprint off her pants. Naruto grinned mischievously.

"aww poor girl." He said in a mock pout. "do you want me to massage the owie? Or maybe a little kiss on the little boo-boo?" he said while discreetly grabbing her butt, and started whispering with a sultry voice in her ear. "... or maybe you want me to kiss and touch something else."

Yakumo grew bright red as she involuntarily started imagining all kinds of naughty things she could do with Naruto.

"allright lovebirds, break it up allready." Kakashi interrupted. "we still have to drop tora off at the hokage's office, and then we have to go and get another mission."

The three groaned as they started moving. Sasuke and Naruto both glaring at the squirming cat in the bag, both having the same thought.

'if that cat escapes again, I'm skinning the damn thing alive.'

(hokage's office.)

"okay. We have babysitting chores, the inuzuka dogs have to be walked again, and-"

a scream of"TORA NO!" followed by a groan of the old man.

"tora needs to be caught... again."

Naruto walked up to the old kage and slammed his hands onto the tabletop.

"you had us doing shitty jobs for some fatass civillians, who're all too fucking lazy to wipe their own asses for the past three months."

"I swear to god, old man. If you put us on a babysitting chore, I'm poisoning the brat, I'll paint the inuzuka dogs pink again, and if you dare to put us no another tora retrieval mission, I. WILL. SKIN. THE FUCKING THING. ALIVE!" he roared, a vein pulsing in his temple.

"Naruto!" Iruka yelled. "have some respect for lord hokage. He IS the leader of this village, and should be respected as such."

Naruto facepalmed, and started chuckling.

"Iruka-san. I hold no respect for a title, so the title genin, chunin, jonin, ANBU, kage, or even a fucking daimyo means nothing to me. I have to respect the person HOLDING the title. I respect powerful people. but these people have to earn that respect. currently the old fool has lost all respect by pulling that stunt. so no... I will not respect the old monkey, and he had better get us a good mission this time, or I'm burning this tower down." he said, while pulling the clothed object from his back. the hokage quickly pressed a button and roared "bring the client from wave in, NOW!"

a few seconds later the door opened, and an old man walked in. it was a relatively tall, chubby man, with a bushy moustache, glasses and a sour look on his face.

"I was asking for an escort, and I get nothing more then a scarecrow, an emo, a little girl and... why is that blond kid trying to skin that cat?"

Sarutobi, Kakashi and Iruka all turned to Naruto, paled and screamed "Naruto NO!"

Naruto dropped the cat with a pout, and as if it were a miracle, it ran straight into it's master's arms.

Kakashi shook his head, and read the mission scroll. suddenly he dropped it, and sighed deeply.

"Lord hokage, no offence but have you finally gone senile?" he growled. Sasuke picked the mission scroll up, and read it out loud.

"MISSION: GUARD AND ESCORT THE BRIDGE BUILDER TAZUNA TO HIS HOUSE IN THE LAND OF WAVES. DANGER: LOW. BANDITS & HIGHWAYMEN. PAY: 4000 RYO FOR EACH MEMBER.

NOTE: CLIENT ALSO REQUESTED HELP FROM AN IWA GENIN SQUAD. THIS IS A JOINT MISSION.

Naruto's hair fell in front of his eyes, and he started to shake. a low chuckling could be heard.

"o...ohoho... ohohoho... interesting... how very interesting... I accept this mission. what about you guys?" he asked his team members.

Sasuke grinned his infamous 'uchiha smile'. "You're right. This would be interesting indeed. I'm in."

Yakumo smiled fondly. "If you boys don't have me around to keep an eye on you two, you'll probably kill each other, so I guess I'll come along as well."

Kakashi sighed in exhasperation. "I really get no choice in this matter, do I?"

"nope!" all three of his students said with big smiles on their faces. Kakashi sighed again.

"Very well. cell number seven accepts this mission. meet me at the gate in two hours to meet up with the Iwa team. use this time to pack up for at least two weeks. dismissed!"

As soon as Kakashi said that, Naruto ran off to his compound while sporting a mad grin. for the next one and a half hours, explosions and colourful swearing could be heard before a loud "EUREKA!" reverbated through the village followed by a buzzing sound and another scream of "IT'S ALIVE!".

(two hours after the team split up)

Sasuke and Yakumo were both leaning against the gate, waiting for Naruto, Kakashi and the Iwa team.

"yo." they heard from above. when they looked up, they saw Naruto standing upside down on top of the gate. he jumped down and grinned. "missed me?"

"like a toothache." Sasuke replied.

"awww uke-chan. are you not happy to see little old me? he mock-pouted.

"I'm never happy to see you, but you're like a weed."

"you want to blow me? I have to say I'm honoured, but I don't swing that way."

"NO! I SAID A WEED. NOT JUST WEED. AND FOR THE LAST TIME: I'M. NOT. GAY!"

"you sure?"

"YES!"

It was then that they noticed that Naruto wasn't wearing his usual yukata and geta combo. instead he now wore a long white doctor's coat, but the left sleeve was ripped off, showing Naruto's bandaged arm. he wore black ANBU pants, with a thick belt holding six small scrolls, each with the same kanji for 'clay' on them. if they looked close enough, the could see that the inside of Naruto's coat was coated with hundreds of sealing tags. all of them having diffrent kanji ranging from 'weapon/tools' to 'seal' to even things like 'food' and 'medicine'.

he also wore a set of kirigakure quality steel plated boots. his right hand had a glove with a thick steel plate on the back with the uzumaki clan symbol engraved in it and as usual, he had the mysterious cloth-wrapped object hanging from his shoulder and his usual medical eyepatch over his right eye.

Yakumo and Sasuke both grinned.

"I see someone found a new style to follow. very fashionable." Yakumo joked.

Naruto merely grinned, and struck a pose. "It's not fashionable. I just look great in everyting I wear."

"Well, it seems that you Konoha-nin are still as cocky as ever." a jokingly-mocking voice said.

Naruto turned around to see three shinobi and one kunoichi.

The obvious jonin sensei was a tall man with red hair, moustache and beard which tapered off to a point. He was shown wearing a large headpiece consisting of a three pointed crown-like ridge, bearing both his Iwagakure hitai-ate, a ring, and a prominent black piece of armour running across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. He wore a long-sleeved light-red shirt and pants, with mesh-armour shirt and fitted black suit underneath, along with calf-length sandals. Around his waist he wore a brown sash that held a brown armour-like breast plate with a pouch in the front, a brown back plate on the back that is connected to the front with mesh armour, and armoured lapels falling to the sides.

the only girl had short, black hair and pupil-less, pink eyes that are accentuated by her eyelashes running upwards at the corners. She wears the standard attire of the Iwa-nin consisting of a red uniform with her right sleeve missing and a lapel over her right leg, the brown Iwagakure flak jacket, fishnet tights and a skirt over them. She also wears regular shinobi sandals and a pair of gloves.

the larger boy was a somewhat imposing young man with dark eyes and black hair that spikes out at the back from underneath his hitai-ate which he wears like a bandanna. He also has large cheeks, and a plump nose which give him an overall look of constant joviality. He wears the red Iwagakure uniform which has both its sleeves, underneath his flak jacket in addition to a yellow scarf around his neck.

the third genin was a skinny boy with dark eyes, accentuated by dark rings. his hair was long and white with two prominent bangs framing his face. he had a pleasant smile etched on his face, but Naruto could see that it was fake. he wore the red uniform without sleeves, and had the Iwa hitai-ate strapped around his left bicep. unlike the others, he didn't wear a flak jacket, but a simple mesh shirt.

"please don't mind my students, genin-san. they're... young." the sensei said in a jovial tone.

"I don't mind that Yonbi-sempai, we're all young anyway." Naruto responded in the same jovial tone.

the redheaded sensei did the perfect imitation of a fish on dry land as the boy in front of him just pointed his tenant out as if it was a carton of milk.

"...kid... how did you figure out that I'm a jinchuuriki?" he asked in a suspicious voice.

Naruto's visible eye narrowed to a slit, while his eye turned red. his mouth widened into a fox-like smirk. (gin ichimaru style BITCHES!)

"It takes a jinchuuriki to recognise a jinchuuriki doesn't it?" he responded, while the man began grinning.

"so you're the infamous number nine, eh? allright then. my name is Roshi."

"nice ta meet'cha! the name's Naruto uzumaki." Naruto stuck out his hand, and Roshi grabbed it. after shaking hands, Roshi introduced team seven to his own team members: kurotsuchi, the girl. akatsuchi, the large boy. and jin, the white haired boy

"nice to meet you all. these are my own team members: Yakumo and Sasuke."

Yakumo waved at them with a pleasant smile, and Sasuke nodded in their general direction. it was then, when tazuna himself showed up, grumpy and hungover.

"where's the scarecrow?" he asked, not amused that he had to wait for Kakashi.

Naruto shrugged, and threw a rock into a tree nearby. the rock hit something fleshy and a figure fell out of the tree, softly cursing. the figure turned out to be Kakashi. he coffed into his hand and patted the dust off of his pants.

"Naruto. that wasn't very nice." he said, eyesmiling.

Naruto shrugged again, grinning like a maniac. "I guess I'm just not a nice person, sensei. you should know that most of all."

everyone caught the subtle change of tone in Naruto's voice at the last part. but shrugged it off as one of his many quirks and decided to move.

(three hours later)

as the group walked along the dusty road towards nami no kuni, Naruto spotted something odd.

a perfectly round puddle of water in the middle of the road... on a hot, sunny day... while it hasn't rained in weeks.

'amateurs...' everyone thought at the same time. even tazuna saw something was wrong.

they walked past the puddle, everyone preparing for an attack, when two men wearing gauntlets attached to a razor chain jumped out of the puddle, and surrounded Kakashi and Roshi. they yanked their chains, tearing the men apart, while Naruto smirked.

"two down..." the first grunted.

"seven to go!" the second one finished.

akatsuchi, jin and Yakumo formed a triangle formation around tazuna, while Naruto Sasuke and kurotsuchi attacked the two men in a spearhead formation. the demon brothers ran at Naruto, who formed the tip, with their chain extended. Naruto grinned again, and made a palm thrust at the chain with his bandaged left hand. instead of the expected 'splat' of a razor ripping through flesh, a loud CLANG could be heard as if two metal objects clashed. he ducked underneath the chain, and gripped it with his left hand. using his momentum, he yanked the chain, pulling the two men out of their balance.

Sasuke and kurotsuchi wasted no time and reacted accordingly. Sasuke kicked gozu's legs from underneath him, and made a palm thrust at his chest. the palm connected and he roared: "KEN O EKO!", smashing gozu literally into a small crater he formed with the ground.

kurotsuchi delivered a spin kick to meizu's stomach, and rammed two kunai in the man's arms, severing his tendons and disabling them. however, 'meizu' turned into water and so did gozu.

"mizu bunshin!" (water clones) akatsuchi roared in suprise. the two men jumped out of the bushes, trying to slice akatsuchi to pieces, when Naruto jumped in between, yet again blocking them with his left arm.

"YAKUMO! NOW!" he roared as Yakumo weaved through handsigns.

"ninshisho sakkaku: aian meiden, kizu no sekai!" (demented illusion: iron maiden, world of hurt!) she mumbled as an illusionary iron maiden manifested itself around the two men and closed. the six genin could hear the screams of pain from inside, and the illusions disappeared. the puncture wounds however, stayed. multiple stabbing wounds caused by Yakumo's illusionary spikes were gaping on their torso's and arms. gozu's mask was ripped apart, and meizu's right leg was hanging by a thread. that's when they lost conciousness.

clapping could be heard from the bushed as Roshi and Kakashi stepped out of it.

"good job guys." Kakashi praised.

"indeed. when the two of us were 'killed', you reacted accordingly to the threat. the long range, and defensive ninja protecting the target, and the short, or mid-range shinobi eliminating the threats." Roshi continued.

"your teamwork was great, with Naruto blocking them, and the others taking the chance to eliminate the ambush. now Naruto. if you whould?" Kakashi finished. Naruto grinned and reached into his coat out of his coat he pulled a vial with green fluid, and a surgical blade. he backhanded gozu, and the man shook awake.

"who sent you?" Naruto asked casually. gozu spat a glob of blood in Naruto's face.

"fuck you! I'm not telling you anything!"

Naruto grinned again as he wiped the blood off of his face. "oh, I had hoped you'd say that." and without warning he made a small incision in the man's right elbow. he popped the cork off of the vial and dropped a few drops into the cut. after three seconds, they could hear the man starting to grunt. after twenty seconds, his elbow started to rot away at a fast pace. gozu screamed in panic.

"AAAH! WHAT THE HELL?! MAKE IT STOP! IT HURTS!"

Naruto's grin got wider.

"are you gonna tell me what I wanna know?"

"YES! FOR GOD'S SAKE! YES! I'LL TELL YOU ANYTHING! JUST MAKE THE PAIN STOP!"

"who do you work for?"

"MOMOICHI ZABUZA! HE WORKS FOR GATO TO KILL THE OLD BRIDGE BUILDER! THAT'S ALL I KNOW!"

Naruto then punched the man's lights out, and injected a purple fluid into the rotting flesh. the rotting stopped and Naruto turned back to the group with a demented grin. his eye turned red, and his pupil became a vertical slit.

"it seems this'll finally get interesting!"