I had been right.

The next morning, I saw Gale; I served him his breakfast and I made his bed and I cleaned his Quarters. But it wasn't the real Gale. I felt angry for him. Because the real Gale was in there somewhere, but he was locked away. He was like me. He had been silenced because the Capitol didn't like the things he said. He was like an honorary Avox, except he had it worse, somehow, because he didn't even get to have an honest opinion. Gale was someone else, and I was miserable, because not only was he gone from me, but he was gone from the world. People would meet gale Hawthorne, but they wouldn't know how wonderful and brilliant he was. They wouldn't know that he was good and kind and honourable, and everything that this new, wrong Gale wasn't.

Luckily, I woke up when I heard Gale getting in the shower, so he hadn't left his bedroom. I got up and quickly fixed my hair and my- slightly creased- clothes. I probably looked awful, but if I saw the Gale I hoped to see, that wouldn't really matter. I started to make him breakfast- scrambled eggs and beans and french toast. I was so busy making the breakfast that I didn't even hear his bedroom door open. I heard him, though, when he dropped into his chair.

I had turned to him with such hope and excitement, and I had been able to see, straight away, that I was wrong to have hope. Hadn't I learnt that yet? The last time I had hope, was when I thought the President's nephew loved me. I had been a fool then, and it had resulted in my tongue being cut out and my speech taken from me. Why hadn't I learnt my lesson? Why was I still such a fool?

I suppose that this time, it hadn't just been my fate on the line. It was the fate of all of District twelve, who would be under Gale's control, and of the real Gale, who deserved so much more than he had been given.

The world was cruel to everyone, then. Not just me.

Gale's face was sour and mean and foul. He didn't smile like he used to. Not even his eyes were smiling. He looked far less attractive now. Maybe I was just imagining that he wasn't as handsome now, but he just seemed like a different Gale. He was like the nasty twin brother of the nice guy. He was the mirror image, all contorted and wrong. Whatever he was, he wasn't Gale.

"Coffee," He grunted, and I thought of Gregory. I hurriedly fetched the coffee pot, having already made it while the eggs were cooking. I leaned over his shoulder as I poured the coffee, and he didn't even look at me. This was just like how it had been when I had been serving Gregory.

There had been a time when I had thought that I loved Gregory. I had been so very devoted to him. We had kissed in private, and exchanged cute little notes, and he had given me a silver ring that had once belonged to his mother. He had told me that he couldn't marry me yet, because President Snow, his uncle, wouldn't like it. He said we had to wait. But the silver ring was his promise that he loved me, and that he was devoted to me, and that we would be together forever.

Forever was so not eternity.

Because Gregory and I didn't work out. His uncle, the President, did find out about me- after Gregory's father saw us together, kissing. And President Snow had not been at all happy about the love Gregory and I shared. And when President Snow asked Gregory what he intended for me, I knew that we were going to suffer.

I just thought I wouldn't be the only one to be punished.

I thought that Gregory would take equal blame, and that we would be shunned from the President, but we would still be together. Because he had promised me that we would be together forever, and at the time, I had been wearing that promise on a chain around my neck.

But Gregory had cast me off and told his uncle that I meant nothing at all to him. He had told the President that I was just some worthless girl who was starstruck by him because he was related to the President. Gregory didn't tell the President that he and I had been together for four years; that we were childhood sweethearts; that we were going to be together forever.

Gregory didn't care about me nearly as much as I had thought.

He stood by, and he let his Uncle turn me into an Avox. I know that Gregory feels guilty. I know that Gregory hates himself for letting me- an innocent girl whose only crime was loving him- get caught in the crossfire of his screwed up family. But the crossfire didn't even burn. It didn't even kill me. It just left me… speechless. I had thought I would die of a broken heart, but that was poetic nonsense. I wouldn't be dying any time soon. That would be too easy; too kind.

President Snow had made me Gregory's Avox too. I had waited on him. I had served him. I had served the woman he gave my promise ring to, too. I had helped her with her hair once. She wore Gregory's promise to me on her ring finger, as a new promise to her, and I had seen Gregory put it on that finger, too.

"Hey, watch it!" Came the gruff voice of not-Gale. I jumped and stepped back, righting the coffee pot. Incidentally, I had accidentally poured too much coffee, and it was spilling out of the mug now. I wanted to say sorry, on reflex, but of course, I couldn't.

I served Gale in silence, and I felt almost as if my heart hurt worse than last time it broke. Because it was breaking ever a love too bizarre to have ever lived. We would never have worked anyway. What would we have done? Still, the ghost of an almost love between the two of us hung, stale, in the air. And he didn't even remember it.

He left without a word to me. I had been making his bed for him when I heard the door slam closed; he was gone. For his next Evaluation. God, what would happen to him next? I already missed him. And it hurt to see him when he wasn't the Gale I wanted to see. He just looked like Gale.

I shook my head as I prepared to leave the Quarters. I just wanted to sleep. Sleep allowed me to die just briefly, and when I woke, I was resurrected into a life I hate. I loved my little death, because it allowed me to forget.

I wish I could have lose my memories, and not my tongue.

I wish I could have lived without ever loving Gregory; without ever becoming an Avox. I just wanted everything to stop. But I couldn't quit. Quitting was a luxury I couldn't afford.

A/N: I'M SORRY THAT THIS IS KINDA DRAMATIC... AND DEEP… MAYBE TOO DRAMATIC. SORRY. I'LL TRY TO POST AGAIN SOON. BYE, KATE XXX