Disclaimer: Characters created by Kohta Hirano

Notes: Features elements from the tumblr blog greatbloodypervert.

"Love Notes"

I wasn't really snooping. This is my estate after all, even if the basement is his lair. I was bored, curious, and maybe just a little bit anxious. Alucard was out on a job and it always made me nervous. Every hunter in my employment garnered the same anxiety and perhaps I shouldn't have been so worried with Alucard, but he'd earned it nonetheless.

In the five years since he'd been revived, I'd scarcely been beyond the massive room that held his throne and a monolithic wine rack filled with red wines. Yet I knew there were at least a half dozen chambers beyond that room and I had been wondering what had been done with them. I found a large bed dominating one cell, and as well it had a standing closet that I couldn't resist peeking into. Turned out Alucard's clothing really was material. Hmm...or perhaps they were only material when not on his body. My face flamed as a rather illicit mental image of my servant naked flared through my mind. It was less that my modesty had been disturbed and more unsettling that I didn't find the thought unappealing. No, not one bit.

I scoffed softly as I left the room to continue down the hall, pausing only to light a cigarillo. I'd made peace with my attraction to him. He was an alluring creature, a fact that could not be denied. So what if I'd never found any mortal man quite so pleasing? Courting was very low on my list of priorities.

Other cells were barren save for wooden coffins or crates of earth, another had a wet room shower, but the very last room left me spell bound. Bigger than the other, it was a library and sitting room. In its center was a desk buried under half opened books, journals, and scattered pages. My god, he was messy. I compulsively began to reorganize his desk, shutting and stacking open books and gathering up loose papers. Most of them were blank but a few were scrawled with his tidy hand-writing. I glanced over one out of curiosity:

I am suffering under this longing. Every minute of every day is another in which I do not touch you. I can barely stand it, though the agony is surely exquisite.

I felt a bit flustered and wondered who he was writing these notes for. Some long, lost lover, quite likely. I scanned through some others, chuckling lightly. Who would have guessed Count Dracula was a romantic? It was a fun little exercise for awhile, thinking perhaps I'd tease him about it later.

And then I began to find words that devastated me:

There is nothing that I would deny you. My heart, my soul, this wretched body is yours to punish, to reward, to neglect. Even to stand in your shadow is more than I deserve.

Yet another read:

I have found freedom in bondage. To lose all of the things I thought were important was a pain that I'd imagined—no, I'd hoped—would kill me. Now I only long to die by your kiss and suffer under your touch. I no longer know if you have redeemed or ruined me.

My hands shook to read these things:

I crave you. Not just for your blood and body, but your mind as well your soul. I am so utterly in your thrall and should hate it. In the past I would have destroyed you. I'd have stalked, ruined, and ripped you from your moral coil. A disgusting notion now, but even knowing that I am capable of this monstrosity, you torment me. I am happy to crawl for your pleasure, to twist, burn, and be collared and chained by you.

I couldn't breathe, and my body ached. These love notes, his beautiful, reverent, twisted devotion, were meant for me. You did not write in such a way toward a passing fancy. My servant appeared to be quite desperately in love. I sat down slowly in the desk's hard, wooden chair and dropped the sheath of papers in my lap. Some fluttered to the floor, but I paid them no heed. I could not process this, it was like a hammer to my chest.

"This is a pleasant surprise."

Oh, god.

I struggled to save face. Shuffling the papers into some kind of order as I cleared my throat, I mustered up a good sharp eye for him.

"Your desk is a mess," I commented.

He chuckled as he stepped forward and plucked a fallen page off the floor. I prayed that it was blank; his wicked grin told me it was far from.

If she would let me, I'd happily map out entire countries on her tawny skin. With lips, tongue, fingertips, whatever she wished for.

To hear the words out loud made me shiver. I wrapped an arm around my midsection and covered my face with my other hand. "Oh my god, Alucard! What do you expect me to do with this?"

I glowered up at him when he was silent, and his expression was utterly placid. Without looking, I grabbed a scrap of paper off the desk and stalked over to him.

"Answer me! What do you hope to gain?"

Alucard's crimson eyes narrowed and his pleasant smile turned a bit nasty. "I could certainly ask you the same thing. If you're going to snoop through a man's personal business, you ought to expect unpleasant surprises."

I slapped him hard, stuffed the note into my pocket, and attempted to brush by him. One of his hands curled around my wrist and held me fast.

"Don't go."

"Unhand me and maybe I'll consider it," I snapped.

His fingers released me and I glared up his body. "What do you want, Alucard?"

"You didn't appreciate them?"

"They were beautiful," I admitted with a weary sigh. "My heart is still pounding, and I can hardly stand it."

"After all this time, you still don't trust me?" Alucard asked, tone faintly wounded, and I felt my restraint waver.

"Don't be stupid. I trust you with my life, but I can't deal with this," I elaborated as I plucked the note from his fingers. "Just so you know, I would, and I'd want everything. I just want you to touch me, and that terrifies me."

He pulled me into his arms and my body rioted with desire. I gritted my teeth and growled at him in warning.

"Alucard..."

"Yes, my master," He answered formally, though his cool fingertips against my skin were far more intimate. He traced the side of my face with lingering slowness. "I want nothing more than what are you willing to give."

With a low sigh, I tilted my head and his fingertips skimmed along the side of my neck. The sensation was curiously pleasurable. His cold touch gave me chills and tightened my body. Alucard continued very softly.

"Even if you only ever grant this small touch, it is more than I deserve."

I shuddered and pulled away. He wasn't making this easy. Suddenly all I wanted was to grab his tie and order him to kiss me. Of course, I didn't and instead walked right out the door and left him alone with his twisted desires. Once upstairs, I pulled out the note I'd shoved in my pocket. It was crumpled and I smoothed it out. Above all others, this one weakened my knees and scorched my throat.

Would you believe that I love you? Are those words meaningful from this monster's lips?

"B-bastard," I breathed.

My hands trembled as I shoved it back into my pocket and extracted another cigarillo. I lit it and went directly to the library. It was the only place I wanted to be when my thoughts were disturbed. I walked as quickly as I dared, eager to outrun the urge to run back downstairs and into his arms.