Finale : Always Look On the Bright Side of Life

"C'mon, Wriggle, look on the bright side! You get to go on your very own mission-" Charlotte had her hands up in an attempt to placate the irate firefly, but Wriggle was having none of it.

"Bright side? I'll show you bright side, ya dumb fuck!" Wriggle shouted back, holding up a bioluminescent fist. "And don't say it's mine like you mean it! You're gonna send that fucking creeper along, so why don't you just send Rumia as well, and they can make a date of it."

"Okay, one, Rumia can't really play the part of a student. Two, she's still definitely in the tsun stage with 551. Three, you know why we're sending her along, and why it's still your mission. So when you're done bitching about it, why don't you tell me why she's going along so I know you're done and we can move on."

"Yeah, but the next step is getting sized for a uniform, so I think I'll just keep bitching, thanks." Wriggle glared at Charlotte. "If I had wanted to wear a fucking skirt, I'd already be wearing one!" the firefly slapped at her trousers for emphasis.

"Gah! If you can't be bothered to do your damn homework, then we really shouldn't be sending you after all!"

"Excuse me?"

"Read!" Charlotte snapped, thrusting a copy of the Uminari Central School System Guidebook into the firefly's face. Wriggle's eyes went crossed trying to make out the text at half a hairsbreadth in front of her eyes, then seized the book and held it out to a reasonable range.

"'All students must wear one of the approved uniforms, as detailed on the following page . . .' Yeah, what about it? I already read it, there's the boy-type and the girl-type, with the stupid damn skirt." Wriggle stated. Charlotte just slapped her forehead.

"Right, but show me where it specifies what uniform you have to wear." This drew an eye-roll from Wriggle, which quickly turned to a frown of confusion as she flipped back and forth between the pages.

"That's a trick question, right? I mean they've got a boy-type and a girl-type . . ."

"Yes, but I already sneaked the question through the school administration. There's nothing that actually prohibits you from wearing the other type if you want."

"That's awesome! I think I could kiss you—" Wriggle gasped, and then gasped in pain as Cirno grabbed her by the scruff of the neck.

"Yeahhh no. We still have shit to do today." Cirno grumbled.

"Hey, just because she likes spending more time with me than you, doesn't mean you have to take it out on me!"

"She only spends more time with you because you don't know what you're doing. I do things right the first time." Cirno retorted, sticking out her tongue.

"Both of you, knock it off! While I'm sure you two would love to make a contest out of it, and I wouldn't exactly mind it either . . ." Charlotte couldn't entirely keep a blush off her face as she tried staring her friends down, so she changed subjects. "We do need to get this registration done. I have no idea why anyone would want to transfer to a school that's going to work you twice as hard because they've got the Skyreach partnership thingy, apparently people do and the transfer slots are going quick, like if we have to try again tomorrow you won't get in quick."

"You're not exactly making a case for haste, there, Char." Wriggle frowned. "Seriously, I barely passed my placement exams for your school, and this place is harder?! I hope you've got some kinda plan to help me out, or I won't ever get out from underneath my homework to even search for anything!"

"We'll set up a pipeline so you can call back here for help. Between Utsuho, Nitori, and Mami we should have no trouble covering everything, but really, you're smarter than you give yourself credit for. The only reason you had so much trouble with the placement exams was history and literature, and it's not like they're going to invent any new old stuff to throw you off."

"If you say so." Wriggle gave Charlotte a suspicious glare, then sighed. "Also, the reason 551 has to go along is because they know that we know that they're dirty, and so if they don't see a spy, they'll go looking for one. Right?" Wriggle grinned as Charlotte nodded approval of her reasoning. "But why 551, exactly? If you're worried about me blowing my cover, I can keep my hands to myself with you two. Well, for a little while at least."

"It's because 551 is a Purifier, actually- they're like the police of the Project, and that makes her extra dangerous to Valcyone and Alchemie."

"Yeah, but it's not like those two are gonna be stupid enough to show up without their giant curb-stompy mechs. Speaking of, if I can't get a Contract, can I get one of those instead? Or a gun at least, something to help even the odds a bit?" Wriggle batted her eyes in a way that was only partly in jest.

"And where are you gonna hide that? You can't just fold up an AF and stuff it in your backpack." Charlotte pointed out.

"Well, tell Satori to get busy then! Her R&D department is slackin' off!"

"Just so you know, this is not when I had in mind when you said 'vacation', Reimu." Utsuho spoke in a mild tone, but the rebuke was there nonetheless, to which Reimu gave a little helpless shrug.

"Yeah, me neither, but the invitation was sitting in my mail, and I kinda feel obliged to answer it. Besides, it's not like we have a pressing need to be anywhere anytime soon . . . which is pretty nice just by itself. But we can afford to lose an afternoon I'd think."

"I suppose . . ." Utusho trailed off. The Sun Goddess brushed her hand against Reimu's, flinched, then stopped and laughed at the situation. "It's funny, why now of all times am I getting nervous?"

"Yeah, I know, but if it makes you feel better, I'm nervous too. I mean, I really shouldn't be, it's only Yukari, and it's not like we need to hide, well, us from anybody else, everybody who could make trouble is already in on it, but still." Reimu shook her head.

"'Only' Yukari? Oh, how the mighty have fallen." The words came forth from empty air, followed by the Border Youkai herself. "Oh, do relax, and put down that vulgar . . . thing," Yukari raised a placating hand while looking at Utsuho's Hades Cannon, which she had conjured by reflex upon being startled. "I'm not here to fight."

"That's good to hear. Quite honestly, I've had my fill of fighting for a bit. Now if only those damned DC would start feeling the same way." Reimu grumbled. "It's not like I particularly like Cirno, or want her around unless the temperature goes above 30, but I can't help but feel like I have a responsibility to see her home safe."

"That's what I wanted to talk with you about." Yukari replied, looking grave. "I read the briefing materials Ran brought home from the last Compact meeting. I apologize for this, but I must bestow more bad news upon you. You see, there was never anything like the Divine Crusaders present in my 'original' timeline. Things are playing out differently this time."

"I assume that this is more 'differently' than you hoped for?"

"Yes. Only a very well-greased lawyer could try to present a case that the current situation is directly linked to my meddling, and even if someone were to try such, I can feel the divergence tugging at me."

"Well, I appreciate the warning, but what exactly am I supposed to do about it? Recent events have reminded me of the limits of my strength, and this doesn't sound like the kind of problem you can simply blast to pieces." Reimu frowned.

"No, it certainly is not, but I thought you should know. You reminded me of the value of knowing what you're about to step into, so I thought I would repay the favor."

"Well, thanks . . . I think. I was kinda ready to be done with unknowable doom hanging over my head though." That earned Reimu a dirty look from Yukari. "Right, sorry. And you're right, it is better to have forewarning than not."

"Indeed. Also . . . You know, you're welcome to stop over now and again. I won't even make you bring your own tea." Yukari smiled.

"Well, that certainly makes it more inviting, hah!" Reimu muttered darkly.

"Yes, well we're not all made of money. It's expensive being everyone's worst nightmare, especially with two Shikigami to feed."

"Uh, well, thank you for your assistance, Yukari-san," Utsuho replied with trepidation, pulling on the bow of Reimu's sash to try and lead her away before things went bullet-shaped.

"Hang on." Reimu held up a hand to stop Utusho. "I would have thought with as long as you've lived and as . . . cunning as you are, you would be made of money."

"I appreciate the compliment, such as it is." Yukari smirked. "But no, sadly, that is not the case."

"Well, I know how that goes." Reimu replied. "You know, if want some income, I bet Satori would give you a consulting contract in a heartbeat."

"While I appreciate the offer, I'm not so far into the hole as to stoop to charity." Yukari replied, frowning.

"Charity, hell! I'd pay you myself just to see you turn that malicious mind of yours against my enemies for once!"

"Hmm . . . I suppose I'll file that as a compliment." Yukari replied, with a half smile twisting her lips.

"See, this is what a vacation should look like!" Utsuho exclaimed upon setting foot inside their ultimate destination- a luxury onsen tucked away in a vale on Youkai Mountain, a quarter-turn around the peak from the town itself. "How did you find this place?"

"Byakuren, actually." Reimu replied, somewhat sourly. "She was quite, uh, thorough in describing the amenities. I threatened to make her pick up the tab as repayment for the mental images she gave me."

"Bleh," Utusho stuck out her tongue. "Though, speaking of that, isn't this kinda a dangerous area to put a place like this? Aya might not be willing to bother us right now, but I'd think most people wouldn't want to be right in the paparazzi's back yard if they wanted to come to this kind of place?"

"Oh, what's this? Having an illicit affair?" Reimu whirled around to see Kaguya, grinning from ear to ear alongside Mokou, who was wearing a smile that was as cool as the phoenix ever got.

"Seeing as how Remilia suggested it and is also paying for our room, I'm not sure you could call it illicit, or even an affair." Reimu mused. "Though I could be asking you the same question?"

"Oh not at all. We're having a honeymoon, not an affair!"

"Wait, when did you sneak that in?" Reimu asked, jaw dropping. "I know I was kinda out of it for a while, but I didn't think I was that far detached."

"Technically, never." Kaguya replied. "But someone (here Mokou came down with a cough that sounded suspiciously like "Eirin!") claimed that we sounded like an old married couple when we bickered. I was going to ask her if she would prefer us to go back to the days of rampant property damage, but then Mokou asked 'if we're married, where's the honeymoon?', and so we decided we might as well do the crime if we're already being punished for it."

"The plan is to camp out here until Eirin admits she was being an ass." Mokou chimed in.

"Uhh, I hate to point out, but she's kinda good at alchemy, and really good at being an unpleasant bitch, so that might take a while."

"Yeah, I know, but funny thing we just found out recently- apparently on the Outside, there are still trusts being held for heirs of the Fujiwara clan. Since I can prove blood, and the exchange rate from out there to in here works in our favor, we can afford to stay here 'til we have to call in favors from the Incubators to keep the lights on!"

"Hah!" Reimu barked out a laugh that was almost a sob as realization took hold. "It wasn't that long ago that I thought your new detente was the most mind-bending thing I had to deal with. I guess the world decided I needed to expand my horizons, or something."

"Reimu Hakurei, are you actually an idiot?" Kaguya retorted. "I would think a shrine maiden would know better than to tempt the gods like that."

"Yeah, well, this time I have one deity who will vouch for me, at least!" Reimu hugged Utsuho, who responded with a blush as bright as her Yatagarasu eye.

"Well, that's . . . adorable actually, but have you given her the magic paintjob yet? I ask only because by the sounds of it, getting the formula worked out was quite vexing to Eirin, and I believe she was considering making it injectable by bowshot." Kaguya snickered as she recalled the uproar at Eientei.

"I haven't done that yet, sorry," Utsuho replied. "I haven't figured out how I'm going to cover everywhere by myself."

"Free tip, kid." Mokou rolled her eyes. "You're not supposed to put it on by yourself, that's half the point of it!"

"Huh?" Utsuho cocked her head, puzzled for a moment, then epiphany struck. "Oh. Ohhh!"

"Okay this, right here? I could get used to this." Rin Kaenbyou was sprawled out on a bed large enough that she couldn't touch any edge of it even with arms, legs, and tails stretched as far as they would go. The room was part of the "household" in Tirei Tower- originally set up as living quarters for Satori, so that she could hide her youkai nature from the rank and file, it had been expanded into a full suite of guest quarters, with amenities including a proper kitchen (which came equipped with a proper chef as well, thanks to Yamaguchi; Rin's impression of her handiwork was "I'm taking her home with me when I leave!"), showers and a full bath, exercise room, game room . . . and a siege-mode security system that had been personally uprated by the Tirei technicians to handle whatever the DC could throw at them. No uninvited guests were getting in through any way short of dropping the whole building.

"Feeling a bit better?" Satori asked.

"Until I think about having to go back home, yeah," Rin muttered. The first night of her stay Outside, Rin had broken down crying for reasons that Satori could see, via her Third Eye, but she didn't have the context to comprehend how things had gotten this way. So instead of grilling her subordinate, Satori had ordered grilled fish instead, and let Rin have free run of the place. It had taken three days, but it seemed Rin was finally back to being herself, and maybe ready to talk.

"If you're not going to come back to run your own fucking farce, I don't see why I should have to do it." Satori sat back, metaphorically scorched and trying not to rile Rin to the point where she would accumulate actual burns.

"I'm not quite sure I understand."

"Look, I'm not an actual mind-reader like you, but I've been around long enough to know how you think. The only reason you ran the Palace of the Earth Spirits was to have a place for Koishi to come home to. Well, that's been taken care of, hasn't it?"

"Not properly, it hasn't! My dear sister is still shacked up with that ferret, but they only have a home because the owner of the dwelling hasn't sent them packing!" Satori grumbled.

"Okay, for purposes of this rant, close enough. The point is, you've left, Okuu's left, and it's just little ol' me ruling a people who don't care about it in the name of a person they don't like."

"So what do you suggest we do?"

"How about start doing nothing on purpose? Move our shit out, lock the door or sell it to Yuugi for a day-old hairball, and be done with the place." Rin growled.

"I can't just abandon my duties though-"

"What a flaming bag of frog shit! You already have, Boss. A long time ago. If you had cared, it wouldn't have taken a feather's push to get you to take this gig."

"I- I'm sorry. You're right." Satori offered a wan smile. "It's funny, Koishi called me on this, right after she came back. She claimed I was as wounded as she had been, and, well, I think she was right. That's not something I can sort out in an afternoon though. So the question is, then, what would you like to do?"

"Honestly? Anything other than what I had been doing, but if it's something where I can get in that kitchen on a regular basis, so much the better. Hey, I know- I could be your secretary!" Rin gave Satori an impish grin. "I'll even do special service, well assuming there's enough room under the desk, that is."

"Where did you get that notion from?!" Satori exclaimed, shivering slightly.

"I was watching that picture-box on the wall, figured I'd try to learn more about how the Outside world works, and it seemed to be a popular idea, considering how many times it came up at least."

"Alright, you have a job. And your first task is to find out why the household is subscribed to the dirty cable channels. I think I know who's going to be volunteered for the live drop-tests of the Skyreach elevators . . ." Satori hopped to her feet, a shadow of revenge on her face, to which Rin sighed happily. It's good to be home again! Now all I have to figure out is how are my tails going to work with a miniskirt?

"There's a pattern here, if I can just crack it." The phrase had become something of a mantra for Toyosatomimi no Miko in the weeks since taking the job of Coordinator, or possibly something of a mania. Spread before her across what had been a dining table was an assortment of the data gathered thus far on the Skyreach Project and the Divine Crusaders. A great scroll of parchment held an annotated list of all the exact dates and times at which Skyreach had made announcements, while a map of the Pacific Ocean and the continents bordering it stretched over half the table, held down at the top by Shichi-Sei Ken. Overlapping circles covered the map, projections of the range of the DC weapons, in an effort to determine their home base. Fluorescent lights illuminated the works, which Miko had purchased out of her own pocket after complaints had been made about the excessive consumption of lamp oil.

Upon realizing that the disturbing new report of a "Lion Kai" model was in fact just a sighting report sitting on top of Satori's spec sheet for a proposed Gespenst replacement, Miko shook her head and stretched her arms over her head, trying to refresh her tired mind. That action caused the Taoist princess to realize that her back was none too happy with her posture of late, and so Miko pressed her hands to her lower back and bent back to stretch it out. And that was when the manacles clapped shut around her wrists.

"What the hell?!" Miko cried out, spinning around and reaching for her sword at the same time which almost caused her to fall when her arms were unable to carry out the request. Denied a way to respond, Miko instead settled for identifying her attacker, which was simple enough; Byakuren stood there, looking equal parts saintly and smug as she watched her love struggle with the cuffs. "Rather kinky, isn't it?"

"Kinky would have been asking Shou to help." Byakuren replied, relishing the shiver that thought sent down Miko's spine. "Now off to bed with you, Princess."

"But-" Miko looked helplessly at her papers, unable to articulate quite what she wanted to say.

"They'll still be there when you wake up, and even if you cracked their secret this morning, you'd still have to wait until everybody else woke up in order to organize a strike."

"Damn, it's after midnight?" Miko wondered.

"Yes, it's after midnight. Again."

"Bah. Sorry. I didn't mean to get stuck in this deep, but I thought I'd found something interesting." Miko hung her head.

"Even if you had, you probably lost it in this archaic mess you've got here." Byakuren replied with gentle admonishment.

"Yes, well, what else can I do with it?"

"Miko, dear, look up."

"Huh- Ow!" Miko winced after having looked directly at her bank of lights. "That was mean!"

"And also enjoyable," Byakuren smiled. "But rather than looking at the lights, look in to them, and tell me what they mean."

"You know, this Zen bullshit is half the reason I allowed myself to be convinced to change teams," Miko grumbled.

"Alright, since you're being stubborn, allow me to walk you through it. What are you using for lights?"

"Er, fluorescents, what about them?"

"Right, fluorescent lights, which you installed to bypass my restriction on lamp fuel. So what is powering them?"

"Er, I set up a tap off the Temple of the Radiant Sun, since Reimu brought me the last batch of good news, I figured she owed me one."

"Would this be the same Temple that houses a thermonuclear fusion reactor, that's powering a bank of lights suspended over paper notes regarding a project to build a space elevator?"

"Er . . ." Miko grimaced again.

"If you got Satori to set you up a computer terminal, you'd be able to get updates faster than 'whenever she feels like sending Rin around', and also when you transpose dates in your timeline, you wouldn't have to leave a big blot in the middle of your paper where you scratched them out."

"Huh? Transposed?!"

"Yeah, here and here for one," Byakuren replied, putting a finger on the parchment, which drew a hissed profanity from Miko. "And while we're at it, you might consider hiring some staff."

"I would, but I can't afford the lost time getting them up to speed-"

"Miko, dearest, shut up and kiss me before I set your table on fire."

"Yes, milady." Miko replied, and then she did as she was commanded, and after that she allowed herself to be led up to bed.

Morning passed on uneventfully, and Miko slumbered peacefully until being awoken by her stomach, which craved breakfast. Lunch, technically, Miko thought as she got out of bed and went to get dressed. The Taoist's movements alerted the guard posted outside the doorway that she was awake, and so Miko finished her preparations to a very familiar sound; the scrape of a whetstone upon a blade.

"What the bloody fuckfire are you on about?" Miko snapped when she stepped out of the bedroom to find, as she had expected, Shou parked on her usual chair, honing her glaive.

"Go back to bed, Princess. Milady's orders."

"And what, you think you're going to stop me if I don't?" Miko replied, reaching for her sword.

"Considering that you forgot that you left your weapon on the planning table downstairs, I feel quite confident that I could stop you if needed." Shou replied, with a slight smirk.

"Huh. Seems you're right on that account," Miko said sheepishly, after patting both her hips to make sure Shichi-sei Ken wasn't simply hanging in a different spot than usual. "Ah, could I at least get a bit of breakfast? I feel as though I might implode."

"I'll have something sent up," Shou replied, standing and giving Miko a short bow. Miko wasn't kept waiting long; the kitchen staff at Myouren Temple were counted as foremost among Byakuren's "saintly miracles". What was surprising was the person who was carrying the tray heaped full of delicious things- Nue.

"Uh, didn't that Hakurei release you from service, or did that get forgotten under all this Coordinator rubbish too?" Miko asked upon seeing the chimerical youkai. For her trick on Hata no Kokoro, Nue's punishment was community service- as a maid for hire. While the work wasn't particularly strenuous, wearing the full formal maid's uniform made Nue highly visible and immediately identifiable, exactly the opposite of how she wanted to be.

"She did, but Byakuren's still willing to pay me for my work, so what the hell. Besides, it's going to be a while before people are going to be calmed down enough to pull a good prank."

"Uh-huh," Miko replied, frowning at Nue's motives. "Anyway, where's Byakuren? I would have expected her to want to screw with me some more, or at least watch you two at work."

"I would have expected you were adequately taken care of in that regard last night." Shou replied, giving Miko just enough of a look to set the Taoist to blushing once more. "In any case, she's off fishing, and should be home by dinnertime."

"Fishing, huh? That's unusual."

The Incubators' Compound had settled into something like a routine by the end of summer. While the place still resembled a slow-motion fireworks due to the humanized Project members' wild variation of colors, now it was at least an orderly fireworks show, with most of the people involved in what had grown to be a decently large farm. Byakuren smiled warmly as she entered the encampment, heartened to see the people adapting to their new lifestyle so well.

A "welcoming committee" of a sort approached Byakuren shortly after landing, consisting of a young-looking Incubator with her hair dyed a fluorescent red to match the glow of her eyes, and a Reductor of similar vintage who rather more interesting; the girl had the spiky black mane common to her kind, but with red ribbons interlaced into her hair, trailing down behind her shoulders, and complex arcing runes tattooed on her cheeks in gold. The girl also had a pair of scimitar blades sheathed at the hip, and the hilts had been decorated with red ribbons as well.

"Greetings! Welcome t-to . . ." the Incubator trailed off, becoming nervous as she noticed Byakuren's companion. "U-uh, hello, U-unit 551."

"Greetings, 3001. Please do not be alarmed. I may be here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, but I brought plenty of bubblegum." 551 replied, holding up a pack of gum for inspection. "Want some?"

"N-no, thank you." 3001 shook her head vigorously.

"I would like to speak with Proteus, if he is available," Byakuren interjected before the welcoming committee had a chance to faint in terror.

"Oh! Y-yes, I'll go check!" 3001 bowed in a hurry, her sidelocks whipping around as she did so, and then the young Incubator went to go fetch the leader of the Project Enclave at a dead sprint. Byakuren gave 551 a sidelong look of disapproval, but 551 simply popped a stick of gum in her mouth and shrugged.

"That was a rather . . . extreme response," Byakuren noted, drily.

"Well, that's why you brought The Purifier along, right?" the Reductor replied, grinning.

"I beg your pardon, um . . ?" Byakuren trailed off, realizing that the other girl hadn't actually given her designation.

"3187." the girl replied.

"Well, 3187-san, what makes you say I brought her for that reason?"

"Because she never comes around any more, and if you had wanted to know anything about us, you would have asked Nova."

"And perhaps I was simply trying to be sociable? Or Nova may have been busy."

"I suppose . . ." 3187 conceded. "Hey, cheer up, not everybody is afraid of you, you know!" This was directed to 551, who was taken aback momentarily, and almost swallowed her gum.

"I see?"

"Yeah! You're kinda like a hero to us Guardian Blades." 3187 giggled, a bit nervously, as she realized that she was in fact gushing about it.

"Guardian Blades? This is new, yes?"

"Er, yeah. Wait, I thought they were keeping you guys informed?"

"Not particularly, no." At that point, 3001 returned, although she didn't attempt to push her way into the conversation.

"If you would like, I can go on ahead and take care of my business and you can stay and chat with your new friend," said Byakuren, placing a hand on 551's shoulder.

"Oh! Uh, right." 551 replied. Byakuren nodded and headed off with 3001, who looked relieved to be leaving the Purifier behind. "So, what is this now about the Guardian Blades?"

"Well, the old Protectorate Guard didn't take too well to human forms- the way their minds are linked for battle doesn't translate to individual bodies very well, so they've been deactivated. Most of 'em work in the fields now, which seems to work for them, identical rows of crops for identical minds, or something, it's kinda creepy to watch. So us Reductors needed to pick up the slack, which we weren't expecting to have to do. Sarissa taught us some basic danmaku stuff, no Spellcards yet which sucks, but enough so we can hold our own when needed. Well, some of us from the first training class kinda grouped up to practice during the off hours, and it sorta snowballed from there. Anybody who wants to join up and learn to fight can do so, but to become a full Guardian, you have to beat one of the current members in a duel, then you get these," 551 traced her fingers over her tattoos.

"That's nice, but why me?"

"Well, in a way, you're like the forerunner for our group. The Oath of Blades calls us to guard our homes and our hearts, accepting any cost, and never taking a step back from danger."

"I . . . you must not have seen an actual account of the battle, then. It really didn't go that way, more like, how does the phrase go, 'beaten like a barrel'? ."

"So? The Oath doesn't say you have to win, just stay true to your purpose. For all our lives, our purpose was what was programmed into us. Now, it's not. We formed the Guardian Blades to make a purpose for ourselves, and we swear the Oath and wear these markings to remind ourselves that we will be changed forever by what we do."

"You may have a point there," 551 mused, rubbing a finger across the band of her Soul Gem signet. "But for all that you look up to me, I find myself envying you. My kindred were wiped out by 003's mad bid for power, and I fear that those Units who would have been my new kin will instead be 'decommissioned' like the Protectorate Guard."

"Well then, here. Take these." 3187 held out a pair of red ribbons. "Trainees just wear the ribbons, to show they're with us, until they decide they don't want to stay on permanently or they win a duel to become a full Guardian. Technically, I'm supposed to make sure you are capable with a weapon and magic, and have you swear the Oath first, but I'm pretty sure you're okay on the first two counts, and we modeled the Oath on the Purifiers' directive anyway, so close counts, right?"

"Yes, I think it does," 551 replied, her eyes shining.

"So, what can the Enclave do for you today, Lady Hijiri?" Proteus got immediately to business once tea had been served, drawing an arched eyebrow from Byakuren.

"I would like to get to know you all better, in the interests of fostering better cooperation between the communities of Gensokyo."

"Very well then, what do you wish to know?"

"First off, I must say I am quite impressed by your agricultural operation here. It would seem you will have plenty to feed your people and even some for sale, judging by what I saw on my way in."

"Indeed," Proteus chuckled. "Ironically enough, we originally set up such a large production because we were afraid we would be unable to obtain produce from anywhere else. Up until we got here, our only direct contact with a youkai was your Koishi Komeiji, and if you're familiar with her prowess in combat, you could see why were a bit concerned with our ability to trade with the other communities. Now that we realize that she is something of an exceptional case, the farm is superfluous, but as the crops are already in the ground, it would be a waste not to harvest them."

"Of course." Byakuren sipped her tea before continuing. "Now, a more technical question if I may? Is there any way of detecting the effects of a Wish upon the larger world?"

"We could make arrangements to let you look through the records of Contracts made here on Earth, if you would like," Proteus replied, a bit stiffly.

"I'm not worried about the Wish itself, especially given that Unit 2401 has demonstrated the ability to conceal her Contracts from your system. What I am interested in is the actual effect of the magic itself."

"That is, ah, something we have not studied in any sort of detail, and to be honest, it seems a bit intrusive. Allowing you to look at the Contracts is bad enough."

"Let me make the situation clear; every person who has attempted to coordinate a response to the Divine Crusaders has been driven to fruitless, destructive obsession with the situation. If this is an effect of Alchemie or Valcyone's Wish, I need the ability to identify and counteract it. It would be prudent for you to do your utmost to assist with this effort."

"That sounds considerably like a threat, or at least compulsion, milady."

"And so it is." Byakuren replied, gravely. "People I care about have been hurt by the strife your people have brought to this world. My patience for seeing them suffer so is extremely limited, and while I would not make an accusation without ironclad proof, let me assure you I will bring the fires of Hell down upon these Crusaders and anyone who has given them aid."

"It is extremely bold of you come in here as an invited guest and then threaten us." This was Sarissa, who was now standing behind Byakuren where a moment earlier there had been empty air.

"Bold perhaps, but not without reason." This time, it was Sarissa's turn to jump as words came to her from the empty air. Koishi pulled back her hood to reveal a sly grin upon her face as the pale-skinned Overseer of Reductors turned ghostly pale. "They're clean, Byakuren. Well, mostly- there's definitely something fishy going on, but they're as much in the dark as us about Alchemie. Also, I nearly peed my pants when Proteus mentioned me earlier."

"So now you use your powers to rummage through our very mind and pry up our secrets?" Proteus attempted to put the heat of anger into his words, but it wouldn't come forth. "It is disheartening, but I suppose not surprising, that we are so ill-trusted."

"I know this must sound strange, but take it as a sign of respect; if we truly thought so little of you, we would have simply sacked your Enclave and torn out the information we sought."

"I understand what you mean, unpleasant as the situation may be." Proteus straightened in his chair. "Is there anything else you wish to know, or shall we conclude our business?"

"Only a parting gift; I expect you have defenses in place to warn you if one of the Puella Magi were to show up unannounced. This is why I brought 551 along; she and Koishi were walking side-by-side as we entered the enclave, so as to give you an obvious target if you sensed anything."

"Impressive," Sarissa grunted, as if the admission had been a punch to the gut. "You know, of course, that we shall mend that hole in our security."

"As I said, a parting gift." Byakuren stood, finished her tea, and then bowed respectfully. "Thank you for your time."

"You know, I had forgotten how much of a pain it was to pack and leave for camp," Mami muttered, while overseeing a similar type of operation in her apartment. "And that was just for two weeks, and we didn't have to arrange a cover story on top of that!" The blonde ran a finger down the papers laid out on the kitchen counter, checking them for the fourth time to make sure there were no discrepancies. And then Mami checked the documents a fifth time, out of superstition. "Okay, Hotaru, I think we're good to go."

"Gee, thanks," came the sarcastic reply from the girl who currently wore the name of "Hotaru Hikaru" as she tucked the ID card she was given into her pants pocket. At the same time, Mami reached in and snagged a different card from her other pocket.

"No Spellcards. You know the rules."

"Oh, come on! I feel like I'm fucking naked here!" the girl spat back.

"Wriggle, you do remember that the whole point of this exercise is to sneak in, right? Spellcards are detectible with decent search magic." Charlotte eyed Wriggle up and down, then sighed. "And no knives, either!" the peach-haired girl exclaimed, pulling a 15cm butterfly knife out of Wriggle's satchel of school supplied, where it had been (fairly cunningly, Charlotte had to admit) concealed in amongst her pens and pencils.

"Jeez! And what am I supposed to do if I get attacked, huh?"

"If you get jumped by anything that you could actually take out with a knife, just punch 'em," Charlotte replied, then she pulled Wriggle tight into a hug. "Anything else shows up, make sure you call, okay? Never mind your cover, just stay safe, okay?"

"Yeah." Wriggle stepped out of the hug only to be pulled in again, this time by Cirno.

"Be good, alright? Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

"More like, don't do anything you would do!" Wriggle replied, grinning. Then she turned quickly and picked up her suitcases and headed for the door, before her nerve failed her.

"Wait, is that a garrote cord on your belt?" Charlotte asked at the last moment, noticing the unusually shiny thread running through the middle of the standard-issue uniform belt.

"What about it?" Wriggle replied, a note of challenge in her voice.

". . . never mind." Charlotte shook her head ruefully.

"Well, if there's nothing else to worry about, then let's get your stuff to the car!" came a voice from outside.

"Yes, Mom!" Wriggle muttered angrily. With no one available who fit the criteria of a) resembling Wriggle enough to potentially be family and b) not being already known as a relation of one of the Puella Magi, the task of playing Mrs. Hikaru and delivering Wriggle to the school fell to Mamizou, who was getting an unseemly amount of enjoyment out of bossing Wriggle around.

"I'm kinda surprised you're not freaking out more about this," Cirno said, waving her hand in Mamizou's direction.

"Maybe if she looked anything like my mom, it might bother me, but it's just a name. I would'a thought you'd have the bigger problem, with Wriggle trying to take my old name."

"Yeah, well, you've still only got one ring on your finger, so we don't have to have a fight yet." Cirno replied, only half in jest. The ice fairy turned back to start the next round with her friend-slash-rival . . . only to discover that while they had been talking, the car had left. "Huh. Well, that takes care of that, I guess."

"Yeah, now we just have to sit back and wait to see what they throw at us next."

In the very middle of nowhere in the Pacific Ocean, a vast shape pushed its way up through the waves, breaking the surface like a giant metal whale. As a matter of fact, the vessel's name, Orcinus, was that of a whale, but the name had not been chosen in reference to its appearance. Instead, Orcinus was an apex predator in the same mold as its namesake, and now that it was on the surface, the vessel bared its teeth. Hatches swung open to reveal surface-to-air missiles, and particle cannon turrets rose to the ready. Radar scoured the skies and sonar combed the oceans, looking for targets.

Satisfied that there were no hostile eyes present, the command crew of the massive vessel opened a series of interlocks which permitted Orcinus to open its upper hatches and stop being a submarine for a while. The largest of these openings unmasked a flight deck upon the ship's deck, suitable for the operation of VTOL craft and Armored Frames. A short time later, a Hornet-class assault craft appeared, skimming low over the waves. The crew of the Orcinus, mindful of the dangers of being detected in daylight by eyes far outside their reach, commanded the VTOL crew to make a grapnel landing, the fastest if not the most comfortable method available. This consisted of the Hornet firing down a length of cable which connected to a winch on the deck. As soon as the cable was locked in place, the deck crew activated the winch, hauling the VTOL rapidly down to the deck. In fact, given the size and complexity of the vessel, the Orcinus was already beginning its dive at the same time, a maneuver that the crew had a great deal of practice with, and their timing was such that the armored shell of the flight deck locked shut and sealed just one second before the waves would have washed over the sides.

Valcyone stood at the forward bulkhead of the flight compartment, impassive as a statue in her armor, with Alchemie at her side, looking even tinier than usual by comparison. The VTOL dropped its ramp at the same time as Orcinus took on a 10° down-angle in its dive, which gave Valcyone the curious sensation of looking "uphill" at the craft. It was a familiar sensation; Valcyone made it a point to greet each strike team when they returned from the field. Let's see how our new allies handle it.

If the strange inclination bothered the new arrivals, they didn't show it as they descended the ramp. Only four? Valcyone pondered, resisting the urge to crane her neck and look deeper in to the VTOL. Three women, one man. And strangely dressed. Either Scaglietti screwed me, or . . . Stretching out her senses, Valcyone got a surprise; the amount of mana each of the four were holding was immense. The leader of the four, a woman with a long pink ponytail and a belligerent air stepped forward and saluted Valcyone with her sword.

"Greetings. We are the Wolkenritter. We were told you are having some difficulty with enemy magic-users. You need not worry any longer. Just stay out of our way, and we shall remove them."

"I see. Thank you, and welcome aboard." Valcyone gave a short bow, and banged her sheath against the deck, a signal for the rest of the Crusaders to come to attention and salute. Inside, however, Valcyone was not nearly as sanguine. Hey, Alchemie, do you ever have that feeling, like you've jumped out of the airplane without checking your parachute to see if it actually works?

Alchemie gave her Contractee a cool glance out of the corner of her eye. At least I've got chicken.