A/N 1: So yeah I finally decided to get this stupid idea down and out of my head. I apologise in advance shipmates. Your Captain isn't the best writer so this probably sucks. Whelp.

A/N 2: Some of you are probably gonna be wondering why the TARDIS is less like she is in TDW. And well simply that's 'cause I felt if the TARDIS was speaking through the Voice Interface she is within her own body so would be a lot clearer in her thought process etc.

A/N 3: A lot of you are also probably questioning as to why the TARDIS calls Clara 'little one'. Well that's actually a headcannon originally from the First Mate that I swiftly adopted too. Since the TARDIS gives people nick names - i.e. Rory was the 'pretty one', Amy was the 'ginger one' and so on – we thought since Clara was short, that's what the TARDIS would say. It would start off as a teasing insult that Clara hated since she's sensitive about her height. But then the TARDIS begins to re-evaluate her feelings for Clara and thus re-evaluates the meaning of the nickname. When the two start 'dating' and the TARDIS tells Clara why she calls her that Clara starts to warm to it and it becomes a pet name for her, much like 'Snog Box' and 'cow' become the same for the TARDIS. I hope that makes sense.

A/N 4: Dedicated to the First Mate of The HMS ClarDIS ('cause why not) and all our shipmates.

A/N 5: Big thanks to Boo for the BETA.

A/N 6: No I didn't listen to the FanMix I made while writing this. What made you think that?

A/N 7: I DID NOT INTEND FOR THIS MANY NOTES GAH!

The Doctor yanked the lever with great difficulty before it finally gave way with an angry thud and the TARDIS's console whirled to life, taking them safely away from some not so friendly locals. He breathed a sigh of relief and wanted to laugh in triumph, but something wasn't sitting quite right. He looked over at his companion, who was idly tracing the edge of the console's opposite side. She was looking at it in an unsettling way. Not to mention, she was barely winded from their escapades while the Doctor himself was still panting.

He sniffed and pushed away from the console, slowly following Clara. She seemed to finally recognise his presence and turned to smile at him. The Doctor stopped short and he looked at the girl's face intently. Clara shifted and cleared her throat.

"So…" she said, "where to next? Hopefully somewhere a little… quieter this time?" She smiled at him again and he narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. A blink and you'll miss it move before he turned and flew around the console pressing buttons.

"Well, I was thinking a nice little rendezvous down the River Nile at sunset on the night of Cleopatra's coronation," he rambled as he finally came to a stop back in front of Clara, "I hear it's quite beautiful."

"Sounds good," Clara said brightly, another smile gracing her lips. The Doctor nodded, his smile fading as he leaned away, walking around Clara wringing his hands. He stopped by the railing surrounding the TARDIS' console, his back to his companion.

"Yes it was." Clara tilted her head in confusion. "The first time we went."

The Doctor whirled around to face Clara, his screwdriver in his hand pointed directly at her. Clara's eyes widened and she backed up, only to be stopped by her back hitting the console.

"Doctor?" she questioned fearfully.

"Who are you?" the Doctor asked, his face a mask of anger, knuckles white as he gripped his screwdriver.

"Doctor you're scaring me," Clara answered. The Doctor moved closer until the screwdriver was mere inches from Clara's chest.

"Good. Then maybe you'll realise this is no time to play games with me," he replied, supressed fury laced his every word. "Now tell me: Who. Are. You. Really." Clara opened her mouth but the Doctor quickly cut her off. "And don't even think about lying because -" His own threat was cut off by a giggle. He frowned when Clara smiled.

"Oh Doctor," she sighed. Suddenly the girl's hand shot out and gripped the Doctor's outstretched wrist in a crushing grasp. Pain flashed across the Doctor's face before it was replaced with confusion. He looked back up from the hand seizing his wrist only to see red eyes staring back into his instead of his companions brown ones. His stomach dropped as 'Clara' laughed again.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Doctor," she said. Her other hand shot out just as fast as the first, her open palm hitting the Doctor square in the chest. The force sent him flying back, before he hit the railing going up and over, to fall to the floor below with a loud clang. 'Clara' stalked over to the railing and looked over to see the Doctor's unconscious body below. She smiled and turned back around to the console, clapping her hands together.

"Now," she said, rubbing her palms together and closing in on the machine, "where to next?" She tilted her head as if listening to someone. She laughed again. "Now, now, Miss Oswald. Don't be like that. You're only delaying the inevitable." 'Clara' reached out to press a button, but stopped before she reached it when the TARDIS let out an angry hum. She frowned at the console.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." 'Clara' whirled around at the sound of a voice repeating her own words to her and came face to face with a woman. Her heart seemed to stop in her chest as she stared at the unexpected intruder. She was tall; with weirdly sexy, wild hair; and a soft face, but deep, dark eyes. Her grey dress seemed odd and out of place but it fit her - in more ways than one. 'Clara' shook her head to clear out the intruding thoughts and looked back at the woman.

"And who are you?" she asked, leaning on the console. Then woman's face remained blank but she tilted her head, staring into 'Clara's' red eyes. The girl shifted under her gaze but remained in eye contact. The woman's face finally broke into a small smile and she sighed.

"Well, I suppose I shouldn't be too hurt you don't recognise me, given the situation and that my little one has never seen me in this body, but I believe if I said she knows me as," she paused, tilting her head again with another small smile, "Snog Box, you might get it." 'Clara's' eyes widened at the revelation, her eyes flickering from red to brown and back.

"You're the TARDIS?" she said incredulously. The TARDIS simply shrugged. There was a brief pause before 'Clara' burst into laughter much to the confusion of the TARDIS. "Oh TARDIS," she said, covering her mouth to try and suppress the giggles, "If you could see what's going through this mind -" She stopped as if listening for something. Her face fell open in mock horror. "Miss Oswald! Such language." She smiled and looked the TARDIS up and down. "So what brings you out here in the open in that?" The TARDIS tilted her head and stared in that unsettling way again.

"Well given you incapacitated my thief and are currently threatening my little one I felt something had to be done." 'Clara' smiled a very tight lipped smile and chuckled. She stepped forward to close in on the woman, though her height made it difficult to be imposing.

"I'm afraid there is nothing that can be done about this." She turned and began to walk around the console. "You see we're now stuck, Miss Owald and I. Either way I will have this body and Miss Oswald will simply be a memory." The TARDIS followed the girl's movements from her spot, her eyes seeming to darken the more the thing that held her little's one's body continued to prattle on. "What you can do however," 'Clara' stated as she stopped just across from the woman, leaning on the console to look across it at her, "is decide whether it happens quickly and painlessly." The girl grinned. "Or slowly and very, very painfully." The TARDIS didn't speak. 'Clara' flicked a lever and continued her round. "You can take me where I want to go and I will leave you and your Doctor alone. Or…" she left the last part of the sentence unsaid as she reached the TARDIS again. "Your choice," she stated simply with a shrug.

Something seemed to flash across the TARDIS' face and fear pooled in the base of 'Cara's' gut, but she refused to let it show. The look was gone when she glanced at the woman again but the fear remained as the TARDIS' brown orbs bored into her red ones with a fiery intensity. A smile played on the tall woman's lips.

"Well I guess I'm going to have to go with choice number three." 'Clara' frowned, anger masking the fear.

"There is no three," she spat, "I already told you there is nothing you can do."

"Oh yes I know that," the TARDIS replied smugly, "There is nothing I can do, but you're forgetting about someone who most certainly has the power to stop you." 'Clara' looked at the TARDIS expectantly for the answer but the woman just continued to stare at her.

"Miss Oswald," 'Clara' realised, before laughing, "I already told you she's stuck. She's nothing." The TARDIS face darkened at the words. "So I guess if you won't help willingly." 'Clara' reached for a lever, only to have the console spark in response. She pulled her hand back quickly and glared at the woman.

"You brought this on yourself," the TARDIS stated, before the console room was suddenly plunged into darkness, the only light coming from the centre of the console.

"TARDIS!" 'Clara' cried. She spun around but the woman was gone. She growled and reached for the console again only to have sparks meet her fingertips. She growled in frustration. "This isn't helping her!" A grate at her feet suddenly jerked, sending her sprawling backwards. She stood only to have the process repeated. Her back hit the railing and pain radiated up her spine. 'Clara' gritted her teeth against the feeling as she pulled herself back up. She looked around wildly as the fear began to pool again. Her eyes locked onto the door.

'Clara' pushed herself away from the railing and ran around to the console towards the double doors. She was stopped at the walkway by the TARDIS appearing from thin air. 'Clara' skidded to a stop and backed away from the apparition, hitting the console.

"You chose this," the TARDIS said solemnly as 'Clara' reached behind her. Her hand found a lever. She gripped it and pulled with abnormal strength. The lever came away from the console, which let out an angry clang, before lunging at the woman. 'Clara' went right through the vision and hit the walkway hard, her breath leaving her body. She turned to the woman with a snarl, blood trickling down the girls' face from a cut above her left eye. Fury flashed in the TARDIS' eyes but her face remained passive.

"If you're quite finished hurting my family?" 'Clara' threw the lever and it once again passed straight though the woman with a strange glitching. 'Clara' pulled herself up and leaned heavily on one of the railings.

"How?"

"You cannot harm the Voice Interface little one." 'Clara' growled at the name and spun, grasping the handles on the doors and heaving only for them to be locked. The TARDIS tilted her head as the girl turned back to face her, supporting her body on the doors.

"Why are you so intent on saving this one?" 'Clara' panted. The TARDIS frowned. "From the moment Miss Oswald walked in you have done nothing but belittle her. You mocked her. Abused her even." The TARDIS took a step back at the ferocity of the girl's words. "Hiding her bedroom, dropping her in swimming pools and locking her out." 'Clara' took a step forward and the TARDIS watched as the girl's eyes flickered back and forth between red and brown again. "So tell me cow!" The woman's eyes widened. "After all of that, why is this one so important?" 'Clara' breathed heavily as tears swam in the TARDIS' eyes.

"Well I could take a leaf from my thief's book and tell you it's because everyone is important, but that would be a lie." The TARDIS smiled sadly at the girl in front of her. "I suppose all I can really say is...you know how schoolboys can be." 'Clara' frowned in confusion. The TARDIS took a step forward and stared into the brunette's red eyes. "Little one you have to fight this."

"I told you there is nothing to fight!" 'Clara' growled but the TARDIS cut off anymore words with a raised hand.

"I wasn't talking to you." She lowered her hand and clasped her hands together, worry etched across her face. "Little one? Please." 'Clara's' face twitched. "Little one? … Clara?"

At the TARDIS' uttering of her name 'Clara' suddenly doubled over with a pained cry, clutching her stomach. The TARDIS held her breath. 'Clara' threw herself backwards, back hitting the door, sweat streaming down her pale face mixing with the drying blood, breath coming out in heavy, painful pants.

"TARDIS?" she breathed, her brown eyes staring into the woman's. The TARDIS smiled.

"Yes little one." Clara gritted her teeth, knuckles turning white as she clutched her shirt for purchase. "Fight it. Please." Clara shook her head.

"I can't."

"Yes you can!" The TARDIS snapped. She stepped towards the girl and stopped a foot away from her. "I know you can." She held out her hands, palms face up. Clara swallowed and pushed herself away from the door towards the woman. She stopped in front of her and stared up at her face. The TARDIS nodded and Clara shakily unclenched her fists, slowly placing her hands palms down just above the TARDIS'. The woman smiled down at her. "I believe in you Clara." Clara smiled.

Without warning a red light burst from Clara and her body slumped to the floor while a dark black shadow remained where she had stood. A thunderous look crossed the TARDIS' face.

"Now. Get. Out." With a wave of her hand the doors to the ship were flung open and the sinister entity fled out into space, the doors swinging shut behind it. The TARDIS breathed a sigh of relief and looked down at her little one's body. She was about to bend down when the girl groaned, her body shifting as she grasped the railing to help her stand. She finally stood on shaky legs, a hand still clutching the railing for support, the other holding onto her injured head. Pain radiated throughout her body while her mind just seemed muddled and foggy. She finally looked up at the woman still standing in front of her.

"TARDIS?" Clara questioned the woman again, her hand falling from her head. The TARDIS simply smiled.

"Good to see you again little one." Clara laughed and breathed a sigh of relief. The TARDIS took a step forward and brought a hand up as if to cup Clara's cheek, remaining a mere millimetre away from the actual flesh. Clara closed her eyes and subconsciously leaned into the imaginary touch. "I'm glad you're safe," the TARDIS said letting her hand fall away.

Clara opened her eyes and sighed, opening her mouth as if to speak. She was cut off by a groan from across the console room. The two looked around and watched as sonic screwdriver suddenly popped up from the floor.

"Clara!" they heard the Doctor yell and his hurried footsteps pounded up the stairs. "Clara are you-" he exclaimed as he round the corner to the top of the console, only to be cut off at the sight of the TARDIS. He stopped short as if all the air had been pushed from his lungs.

"Idris?" he breathed. Clara looked at the woman confused.

"Hello," The TARDIS said, smiling sadly at the Doctor, "and goodbye again my thief." The Visual Interface finally blinked out of existence and the lights instantly returned to the console room, the machinery humming. Clara glanced to the Doctor who looked distraught. He sighed before looking over at Clara in confusion.

"Don't ask," she pleaded. The Doctor looked as if he wanted to argue but taking in her dirty, tired and bloodied form he decided against it. He nodded. Clara sighed inwardly. "What about that thing?" she asked, gesturing to the door. The Doctor seemed puzzled before he realised what she meant. He moved to one of the TARDIS' screens and pressed a few buttons. A strange look crossed his face and Clara walked over to see what had caused it, leaning on the console with a hand to keep her still shaky form steady.

"Well if it didn't suffocate," he said, clearing his throat and turning the screen towards her, "it probably burned." Clara frowned and saw that they were orbiting a sun. She looked at the Doctor who was focused on the TARDIS' central column, that strange look passing over his face again. Clara cleared her throat and the Doctor looked at her as if remembering she existed. She pointed to the gash on her forehead.

"Oh, right, yes," he said, spinning in place, "First Aid kit. I think I left it in the swimming pool after last time." He hurried off down one of the joining corridors. Clara smiled and sighed but remained behind. She glanced up at the TARDIS trying to form words but unable to clear her mind. Instead she leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the console, muttering a quiet "thank you," before patting the machine and following the Doctor's route.

The TARDIS hummed happily as the girl left and whirred to life, setting a new destination. Perhaps she would find them somewhere quiet this time.