This is a work of fanfiction. No profit is being made.


Loki heard the prison doors open and the sounds of guards marching down the hall. He knew she was coming. She was the only one who came anymore. When he was first imprisoned here, Thor and Odin had both tried to speak with him, to find reason in his 'madness'. He had nothing but scorn to offer them. The first time she visited, he had wanted to throw the same harsh words at her but they would not come. She had lied, same as the others, but he could not find it in his heart to hate her. Since he could not offer her the repentance she so obviously desired, he gave her silence.

The queen stepped in front of his cell and offered the same greeting she always did. She sat in the chair that was placed there solely for her use and shared the usual gossip and stories. Loki never turned to look at her, always facing the back of the cell or looking at a book, but he listened to every word. He did not care about the content, he just let the sound of her voice wash over him. Always steady, always peaceful. However, this time there was an odd tone in her voice and, in spite of himself, he turned to look at her.

She was sewing and did not see his gaze. He drank in the familiar sight before her words registered. She was telling stories about the son of her handmaiden, a very precocious and mischievous child.

"How could you do it?" Silence rang after the statement and he realized that he had spoken out loud.

"Do what?" she asked softly, raising her head to meet his gaze.

"Raise a monster alongside your son." She simply looked at him, so he continued. "How did the other mothers tolerate you endangering their children? How could you even bear to look at me, knowing what I was?"

She gazed at him and he felt the tickle along his skin that meant she was using her magic. He never fully understood what her gift was but he always could tell when she was using it. "What do you know of the Vanir?" she asked.

"The Vanir?" He did not understand why she would bring up a dead race but it must be significant. "Odin conquered them in one of his wars."

"That is true, he did." She paused as if uncertain of herself but continued. "Laufey was your father, your mother was Vanir."

"Frost Giants don't breed that way."

"Not normally but he desired the power of the Vanir. They are the children of Yggdrasil, blessed with the Sight and the ability to travel at will throughout the worlds held in her branches. The Vanir built the Bifrost."

"I did not know that," he murmured.

"Odin saw their power and wanted it for himself. He demanded that they build one for Asgard. The king of the Vanir refused even though he knew it would bring war to Vanaheim. Odin brought his armies and the Jotunn followed, unwilling to allow him to have that power unchallenged. The Vanir were crushed. Most fled to other worlds but some remained. The king surrendered to Odin under the condition that the remaining Vanir become subjects of Asgard. Odin accepted."

"It's an interesting story but what does it have to do with me?" he asked. She continued speaking as if he had not interrupted.

"As part of the surrender the king offered Odin a drink from his own goblet." Loki snorted, Odin was a fool. Frigga smiled at him. She knew his thoughts "It wasn't poison but it was a trick. The goblet held the water of Mimir. When he drank, Odin gained the wisdom of age. He saw his folly but it was too late. Odin fought the Jotunn until they retreated from Vanaheim, then he took his armies and new subjects back to Asgard. Odin dedicated himself to atoning for his foolishness. As part of that he took one of the Vanir as his wife."

"You are Vanir?" Loki had never once suspected she was not of the Aesir.

"Yes and that is part of why Odin brought you home. Since he could not give me a child of my body, he gave me one of my blood."

Loki stared in shock as the full meaning of her words became clear. "Thor is not yours?"

"No, I cannot bear children."

"Then who..."

"A Midgardian woman." Loki sunk into a chair, trying desperately to contain his spinning thoughts. How could everything he know be the same and yet completely different? "Your father and I did not have an easy marriage. I hated him for what he had done to my people. Eventually we found peace with each other, not love but respect. He was always gone, trying to end his wars. He took lovers. I didn't care, as long as he was discrete. We went on that way for centuries. He was on Midgard, fighting the Jotunn. He took another lover, except that time he allowed her to become pregnant. I was angry that he would dishonor me but it was nothing like the anger I felt when he brought the child to Asgard and I realized what he wanted. He came to me and asked me to raise his son. I started to refuse but then I saw what the future would be and I couldn't help but love him. That beautiful little boy would be mine in every way that mattered."

He looked up to find her staring intently at him. He knew what she was trying to tell him, but he didn't know if he could accept it. He didn't know if he could live with what he had done in the face of this new knowledge. "Mother," he was begging but he didn't know what for.

She looked at him with pity but continued to shatter his world anyway. "I didn't think I could be happier than I was that day, until Odin brought me another son."

He would not say he sobbed but his breathing was certainly ragged. "Please..."

"I am disappointed in the choices you have made but you are not a monster." She pressed her hand against the glass. "Do not ever doubt that I love you."

She left him then. She always knew how best to effect others' emotions. He was thankful she did not stay to watch him breakdown. Part of him was appalled at his weakness but it was swept away by grief.