This is a one shot that has been stirring around in my mind for a while. I'm actually terrified of writing Happy because I don't feel like I make him 'hard' enough but here's an attempt at seeing him through someone else's eyes. I might choose to continue this into a real fic later if anyone is interested, otherwise it's a one shot only.

I do not own SOA only my nameless OC in this one shot lol.

His visits were sporadic. He didn't come on certain days, or certain times. He just showed up. No phone calls beforehand either. Happy Lowman made visits when he felt like it. And only when he felt like it. Don't bother inviting him for anything, he most likely wouldn't show up. He didn't when I invited him anyways. Then never mentioned missing anything. No, Happy did things on his own agenda.

The first time I saw him, I was scared. He looked like he wanted to snap me in two and I guess.. Maybe he really did. I backed into his bike my first night at the clubhouse. I hadn't even been introduced around to everyone yet. I didn't know whose bike it was or I wouldn't have even went inside and said anything honestly. I was hoping it was the sweet baby faced Puerto Rican's bike but no… I backed into the Devil himself.

And he was livid. Two of the other guys held him back while he yelled at me. Cursed, threw out threats. I could see why he was so angry. It looked like a nice bike. Apart from the mirrors being knocked off, and the paint gone to hell and it was a little dented…but it looked rideable to me. What did I know about bikes anyways? Not a damn thing except for when my friend Toni asked if I wanted to tag along to the Samcro clubhouse I jumped at the chance to interact with the towns bad boys.

I didn't know any of them personally. Not that first night there. I'd saw them around town before, they came into the diner I worked at often. It wasn't a glamorous job but it helped pay most of my bills. The rest either didn't get paid or I had to figure something out for. Sometimes I'd have to bartend at the Hairy Dog, or work a night at the Jellybean. Degrading work.. But it paid decently. Enough to make ends meet anyways.

Now.. I knew them all personally. Very personally. Especially Happy. I'd been scared that first night he approached me. Was he going to get revenge for his bike? No.. he just wanted what they all wanted. Sex and a lot of it. And I gave it to him. Just like the rest of them. Yes.. I lowered myself into being a crow eater in the hopes someone would take me as an Old Lady eventually. I'd heard it happened before, sometimes they got attached to you and then you were someone's just as easy as that. Be nice to them.. And they'll be nice to you.

Except for Happy of course. He wasn't nice to anyone. He would scowl and down a shot then jerk his head to his room. That was his idea of a pick up line. Now I was lucky to get any type of acknowledgement from him at all. The most interaction we had was when he'd knock, no bang, on my door at his odd times. Then I'd open it let him in and he'd just look at me before going about his business while I kept out of his way.

I had a feeling he would show up this time though. I just knew he'd be nearby. I heard about the warehouse that blew up, knew it was the club. They didn't tell us shit, we were just the entertainment but none of us girls were stupid. We were expected to keep our mouths closed about anything we saw inside the clubhouse and anything we heard. Take care of them, they'd take care of you. Protect you, help you out if you needed it. They'd already had to tow my piece of junk car for me twice and didn't charge me for it.

The club had been the ones that took care of my boss groping at me, threatening to fire me if I didn't work doubles without being paid for it. They handled things for us girls. Some might say we were prostituting ourselves, but not really. Not to most of us anyways. We mostly liked having somewhere to go. Somewhere to hang out and relax at. Somewhere to feel needed, wanted by people. It was our home away from home.

And I loved it there too. I liked the loud rock music they played 24/7. I liked the grins and winks I got. I even liked helping Gemma out in the kitchen when she needed it. It was our own jacked up type of family. We all helped each other out. So what if we were sexually involved with pretty much all of them? It wasn't your typical behavior but nothing about being involved with Samcro was typical or normal in any way. I smiled to myself, reliving some of the memories of things that had happened. Yeah definitely not normal behavior. Certainly not in Tig's room.

I was smoking at the kitchen table when Happy walked in, standing in the doorway. He glared over at me for a while before speaking in his diesel and gravel sounding voice. "What'd you do with the money I gave you?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. He didn't seem to understand once money exchanged hands, it wasn't his business anymore. "I paid bills. Bought some stuff we needed. What's it to you?"

He crossed the room in two strides, leaning down to glare into my eyes. "Its my business. And you didn't buy shit anyone needed."

"How would you know? You don't live here." I snapped closing the magazine from Fredrick's of Hollywood I'd been thumbing through while I did my thinking.

"You're right I don't. Maybe that would motivate you." Happy threw me a venomous look going to the front door. "Leave the door open."

Leave the door open. Those four words always pissed me off and made me feel relieved at the same time. I hated to leave my door open for him. It was like I was giving him permission to just waltz in whenever he felt like. Walk all over me. The relief came from knowing he'd be back soon. When he was gone for a long time he'd just leave without a word to me. Our exchange just now was one our longest in the past two months. He'd never been a talker. One word answers were the normal for Happy.

Normal for Happy meant short answers, Crown, gunfire, and rough animalistic sex. That man was everything you should stay away from rolled up into one man. But you couldn't help but be drawn into him. Not once he decided you were worth more than a scowl or swift push away. He'd never given me a push away, but I'd saw the other crow eaters land flat on their asses after they didn't take the hint to leave him alone. Happy was a tough one to be around if you didn't know how to handle his type. And I didn't know how to handle him in the least bit.

I was young and dumb when I went into the clubhouse. Dreams of being someone's Old Lady were gone for me now. No one would take me as an Old Lady now. Not with my past. Not with him hanging around all the time. No Son would want to deal with that mess. And no other MC would want to deal with someone connected to the Sons for like I was either. I was stuck in Charming all thanks to Happy.

I dragged on my cigarette smashing it out into the ashtray with a frown. I didn't know how this would play out for me. But I had things to do around the house before he came back. He didn't live here, but he'd be pissier than usual if he came back and it was still untidy. He didn't like messy. The last time he came he threw my dishes away that were in the sink because they'd sat there overnight. And you never left dirty dishes sit for any amount of time in his mind. Even if they weren't yours to throw out which I guess in a way they were his dishes. He'd paid for them in his own way.

I got up going to start washing the dishes, glancing out of the window into the backyard to check on things out there. It needed to be mowed. I didn't have a mower though and usually my neighbor, an elderly old man that lived with wife next door, would cut my lawn when he did his. It was sweet of him, he refused any payment for it saying "We all have to stick together around here". We did too, this neighborhood sucked even if it was in Charming the crime free town. It was still shitty.

Shitty just like I'd felt when I was told I shouldn't come back to the clubhouse for a while after the scene that had happened. Gemma had told me in the kitchen in a kind voice. She was always nice to us even when she didn't have to be. She was even nice to Wendy who we all knew was going to end up making a mess out of Jax because of her own pile of shit. I'd nodded my head, dried my hands, and left my head down. No one wanted me there now.

It was lonely without anywhere to spend my time. My only friends had really been the other crow eaters. I'd quit speaking to most of my other friend when I met Toni. I regretted it the entire time I was watching Lifetime movies with ice cream and donuts. I was an outcast without really even doing anything. I only did what had been expected of me…..

No one from the club sought me out. They would just smile when they saw me at the diner, make their orders like normal customers would. Then after a while I had to stop working there too. I couldn't be up on my feet for that long. Working from 8 to 10 was just too much for me and I was exhausted from trying to do it. I needed the money, I had a lot of stuff to pay for on my own. Too much to pay for. My parents couldn't help me out, they lived off of their Social Security and retirement funds. It was all up to me.

I paused in my hurry to wash the dishes and smiled, remembering that day. It was a good memory even though it was sad too in a way. I knew we had a chance when he showed up unannounced and unexpected. I didn't even know who'd told him where I was at until Wendy came to see me. She'd mentioned wanting to visit to Jax who then made the call blabbing the news all over Samcro. Wendy was the closest thing to a friend I had now. And she was in between being sober and being a junkie most of the time.

I hadn't expected anyone but my parents or Wendy to be coming. Not that I could have gotten up and fixed myself or something. I was sore and tired. I could barely walk myself into the bathroom. My mom was supposed to go home with me to help me out for a few days. I knew it'd be tough.. But this was awful. Pure agony for hours. I could still remember laying in the hospital bed, pale faced and sipping on the apple juice the nurse insisted I drink, when the door opened without a knock.

Happy came in like he was supposed to be there. In a perfect world, yeah he was. But this was Happy. He didn't make hospital visits. He stood a few feet away from me, observing me in silence until I moved to put the empty cup on my tray. Then he reached over and took it from me, doing it for me. "Where is it?"

"'IT' has a name." I sighed hoping this wasn't about to be another scene. "Hailee is in the nursery right now, getting a bath."

Happy nodded, keeping his face a stone mask. "Kid's okay then?"

"She's perfect." I was watching him for any type of a reaction. "Not that it should matter to you."

"Maybe it does." Happy snapped, dark eyes flashing at me with anger.

I stared back into those eyes, waiting for more from him then realized he wasn't going to say anything else. "Go away Happy. We don't need anything from you."

I was too tired to deal with him. I was exhausted and ready to sleep while the nurses had the baby in the nursery. I didn't want to argue with him again. I'd already heard everything he had to say about having a baby. About me keeping it. I couldn't even wrap my tired mind around the face that he was still standing in my room, glaring at me.

"I don't do happy families girl. I'll see you." He finally said leaving the room just as empty as it had been before he'd came into it.

I don't do happy families girl. Those were the same words he flung at me when I told him the news. Then he'd threw a wad of cash at me saying "Get rid of it." Like I could do that. I didn't want to do that… I wanted my baby. I didn't have a clue how I'd take care of us, but I'd figure it out. I'd make it work. I couldn't have an abortion. That wasn't something I did. I took care of my problems head on, not kill them off. I wasn't weak like that.

And as tough as Happy Lowman tried to be… he really wasn't. Or he would have never cracked.