I honestly don't know what I was on when I started this, but I had to finish it. I remember writing it and just finding the concept of Endymion being scolded by the Outer Senshi to be hysterical at the time, and now looking back on it, it's still funny.

Not A Dream

The vast wasteland of the once beautiful Crystal Tokyo stood before him. It was still breath taking, but not in the way it had once been so. Where there were once beautiful trees, streets filled with people, and a night life that was rivaled by no planet, there was now death and decay. It certainly took your breath away.

King Endymion gazed over his kingdom in reluctant acceptance that this was how he would have to see it until his daughter came back. Until his daughter brought her back with her. It was just how it was going to be. And while everything had always worked out before, that was not a guarantee that it would do that this time. The future was ever changing, and for some reason his memories of what he had exactly done all those centuries ago were a little hazier than others around that time.

Strange.

"King!"

Here we go again.

"Pluto," the shadow of Endymion greeted the Outer Senshi cordially, "is there a problem?"

The timeless Senshi was sashaying towards him, a look that he had become quite familiar with marring her otherwise peaceful features. "We need to talk about those dreams you're sending your past self."

Endymion feigned innocence, as though they hadn't had this argument a dozen times before. "Is there a problem with them?"

The sound of someone landing behind him was almost enough to startle Endymion, but he knew the sounds of those boots almost as well as he knew his own heartbeat. When he had a heartbeat. "Besides them being cruel, and causing you to torment Serenity for reasons that I still don't approve of after a thousand years, nothing really," Sailor Uranus said as she strutted over to where the fight was beginning to brew.

Endymion wished he could sigh. "My feelings in this matter mean nothing, do they?"

"We both know the answer to that."

"What are you doing here anyway?" Endymion pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing that he was feeling a headache coming on. Of course this was pain, it had to be, never mind that he couldn't feel pain. "Aren't you supposed to be off scouting the grounds?"

Uranus paced leisurely back and forth, casting a smirk at the silent Pluto. "Everything's dead, it's snowing, a ship passes by the south wing near your bedroom every seven minutes and every four minutes Venus purposely weakens her section of the barrier."

Endymion wished he could bury his head in his hands. Instead, he just counted to three and asked the question. "...why?"

"Because it causes the Droids to throw themselves at the barrier in an attempt to get in. Neptune and Saturn are down there now placing bets on it." Endymion eyed Uranus wearily. "Our lives are that dull right now."

"They're so dull that you're watching living beings throw themselves into death for fun?"

"It's like watching a cock-fight."

Serenity, give me the strength to not kill your Senshi until you awaken. I'm certain the only thing holding me back right now is that it's physically impossible.

He wished he could take a calming breath, but counted to three again. "I'm going to go downstairs and see if Venus is coherent enough to have a conversation, she normally makes more sense than this."

"When she's drugged."

"Excuse me!" Pluto interjected, her cheeks pink. "Your Majesty, we have business to attend to. This cannot continue. Small Lady is already causing damage to the time line, and this is not going to help."

"Right, business," Uranus grinned. "Go back and guard your chasti-I mean doors, Pluto. I think I can talk Endymion into dropping this bull."

The Outers, contrary to popular belief, were often worse than the Inners. "Because beating someone who is technically already dead senseless is going to help. Your logic, Uranus, it frankly astounds me," Endymion exclaimed.

"You make it sound as though I'm constantly screwing up!"

"My wedding."

"I was drunk!"

"Birth of my daughter."

"Also drunk."

"Coronation."

"Perhaps if you stopped ordering the alcohol…?"

"There are days I am truly amazed we have lived the past millennium," Pluto scoffed.

"Is this something we should all be talking about?" a soft voice interrupted from the side.

Sailor Neptune and Sailor Saturn had entered the room at some point during the conversation, if it could even be called that, and were both smiling in their own secretive ways. Neptune had her mirror out and her eyes were sparkling with mischief. In these days of war, you had to take your humor where you could get it.

"Yes."

"No."

Neptune cocked her head to the side and smiled. "Endymion-sama, I do believe this is something we need to talk about. It's senseless to put yourself and Serenity through so much needless heart break. Though it gives Haruka and Makoto plenty to hold over your head over the years, as much as we all enjoy seeing that, we hate seeing Serenity in pain."

"King," Saturn said in her soft, melodious voice, "I have to agree with the others."

"Of course you do," Endymion mumbled.

Saturn continued on as though she hadn't been interrupted. "Serenity never expressed any unhappiness in her relationship with you to me, but Venus always said that this was the time of greatest heart break for her, and the time that you really had to pay for it, if you know what I mean."

Endymion's head snapped up and he gaped at Saturn. She had not just implied… Saturn held her gaze, looking as innocent and carefree as she had all those years ago when he had first met her. Deceptive. She had said it, and she wasn't taking it back.

"Venus has a big mouth."

"The Inners are prone to gossip more than we do. But we're quite good listeners," Pluto insisted.

"You're all going to be quite fired if you don't stop this line of questioning and get back to work," Endymion growled, finally losing his temper.

Neptune chuckled softly. "You hold a lot of power, King, but Serenity is the only one who can strip us of our power and 'fire' us. And she won't. Who would do the dirty work around here?"

"Jupiter."

Uranus shrugged. He was probably right, but they weren't getting fired. "Ah, come on, Mamoru, just stop the dreams. You've proved your point. There will be hellfire and brimstone and endless toils to come, yadda yadda yadda. Let it be."

The palace shook as it was suddenly attacked by several of the Black Moon's space ships all at once. It threw tiny Sailor Saturn off balance, but she caught herself on her Silence Glaive. The only one who didn't move was Endymion, who had no body to move him.

"Shouldn't you four be out there doing something about this?"

And not bothering me?

"And not bothering you?" Neptune teased. "No, watch. Mars said they were going to try something next time this happened. Let's watch."

A bright beam of multicolored light emanated from a central point of the palace, but several floors below, where the Senshi were located. It struck each individual ship one at a time until they all were nothing but dust. Endymion had to give the Inners credit, it was a well coordinated, and perfectly timed attack.

"That could needlessly use up their energy, which is why the four of you are supposed to be out there doing that," Endymion pointed out, feeling his patience waning again.

"They were rather proud of that," Saturn said with a frown. "Mercury will be sad you didn't approve."

Endymion pinched the bridge of his nose again, but his hand went right through his face. Argh. "I don't disapprove, I just… Why are you four here, and not outside making sure no one breeches the walls."

"We really need to talk about these dreams you're sending to your past self, King," Uranus said, her voice serious again.

It was like talking to a brick wall.

"No, we don't! Why are all of you… Do you even hear yourselves? Do I have to make it a royal decree that I'm purposefully tormenting myself to prove that my love for Usako can survive anything? Or will going and cutting my own palm and making a blood pact be enough?"

They grew quiet, almost as though they could see his point, before Pluto sighed and crossed her arms. "You'd think you'd do a little more than just make curry with her to spend some time with her though. Anything to be in her presence, Endymion. You treated her like she had the plague."

"When I was getting the dreams I, hang on… Wait, Pluto. How did you know what my past self was doing anyway?"

Pluto's cheeks flushed and she stood up straighter. "I need to check on Small Lady!"

"I don't want to know, do I?"

"Probably not. So," Uranus stretched out and looked at the desolate land a little sadly, "same time tomorrow?"

"I hate you all."

Well, I thought it was funny. I hope you thought it was, too, or found some entertainment value of some measure out of it. I'll keep trying to update my other stuff, hopefully I'll get more chapters of "A Little Late" out ASAP.

-Ginzuishou