A number of readers have wished for a sequel to my previous story, Ritual. I had planned to have one written, but as usual it took inspiration, years of neglect, then remembering, and more neglect. This is the result. I'm sorry in advance if you liked the more mellow tone of the last part, because I guess this one is more light-hearted. Maybe even ridiculous. Actually, it's absolutely ridiculous and was written for fun. I would suggest reading my other story as well as I make references to events that occur in that piece, but it can be read as a stand-alone too. Well, enjoy!

It was because of Sano that they had met. Whether or not that was a good thing was up for debate, but credit or blame belonged to him and him alone.

Kenshin Himura was new to the citadel, having just received his transfer orders, but Sanosuke Sagara was at home in this part of the country. Generally the younger of the two soldiers had more friends in more places, so Kenshin often deferred to his friend's better expertise and judgment. There had been few occasions where this had led to misunderstandings and general mishaps, but on the whole, Sanosuke Sagara was reliable.

The night he met Kaoru made him seriously rethink if he should ever trust Sano again.

In his companion's defense, they had both been weary from the day's travel, satiated from the best home-cooked meal in weeks, and ready for the advantages of sleeping within closed, fortified walls. At least Kenshin was. After depositing his gear and reporting to the master of this citadel, he was given a week's reprieve from active duty, and he meant to make the most of it. Most of the occupants withdrew to their quarters with the coming of the later hours. However, Sano, ever the one to enjoy an excuse to party, was not ready to leave his gambling or friends when Kenshin excused himself from the common hall seeking the comforts of a bed. Not knowing details regarding sleeping arrangements, Kenshin had asked Sano.

Sano only looked up from his game long enough to assure the redhead that lodgings had been made for him and to provide specific instructions to which wing to stay in. Leaving his friend to his hobby, the swordsman made his own way through the empty halls.

Kenshin's dragging feet led him into a tastefully decorated, if small, suite. Making his way through the sitting room, he lit a lamp to dispel the darkness. He whistled softly at the fine upholstery and artwork spaced around the room, impressed by the other soldier's connections. He was expecting the standard soldiers' barracks, but the chance of finer quarters would be a welcome indulgence. Exploring the interior, he found it had been decorated with an unobtrusive cream-colored theme. Strangely, the cabinets in the kitchenette were bare, although clean dishes were lying on the rack. The room was tidy, but it didn't appear that anything else had been set out for him or Sano as he moved through the rooms. Although the furnishings were of good quality, they seemed chosen more for comfort. He had a sneaking suspicion that this was a woman's apartments.

Shrugging, as there was not much he could do about it, he made up his mind to ask Sano about it tomorrow. The least he could do before bed was wash up.

Passing through a set of doors, he found himself in a smaller room, which was clearly the bedroom. A small fireplace, dresser, vanity, and an armoire were spaced against the walls, and there was a four-poster bed pressed up against the opposite side of the room. The beige coverlet had been pulled back and a shadowy form sat half-covered, half-reclining on the pillows.

"You're not Sano."

Accusing blue eyes stared him down as she lit the lamp next to her bedside. Pausing, somewhat in shock, Kenshin briefly floundered, wondering what the hell Sano was doing, setting up for an indecently attired woman to be waiting for him in bed – before he figured out the woman's purpose.

Mentally groaning – he was too tired for this – he gathered his remaining patience to try to dispel the growing unease in the atmosphere. It wasn't the woman's fault that his bird-brained companion failed to mention just who her bedmate would be.

He rolled his eyes. He expressly remembered asking Sano for solitude, not solicitude. Then again, maybe this was another of Sano's perverse ways of showing him that he cared. Indulgence, indeed.

"Your services will not be needed," Kenshin murmured firmly after his unamused silence had been drawn out long enough. "I apologize for my friend's presumption and for wasting your time."

The woman had stood up and was staring at him with a perplexed expression. "…What?"

Has she never been turned down before? Giving her a quick once-over, he could understand her apparent confusion. Embarrassing and exasperating as the situation was, he had to give his close friend credit for his taste in women. She was a beautiful creature, with lovely eyes and braided black hair reaching to her waist. The lamplight gave a glow to her fine features and a stubborn chin, something that he found appealing. She was clothed in a simple sleeping garment that shielded her figure, but he could catch glances of her lithe form as the flame flickered. He finally let his irritation find a small outlet.

"You will be paid for your trouble, but please solicit company elsewhere. It's been a long night and I would like to sleep – alone." He said forcefully.

Turning his back to show his dismissal, he was going to escort her out of the room when suddenly something smashed into the back of his skull, snapping his head forward.

"What the –"

"You disgusting pig! Who the hell do you think you are!"

Stunned, he was hammered by another projectile before he could gather his wits. Was the woman insane?

She had grabbed a poker from the nearby fireplace and was bearing down upon him, looking incensed beyond words. As ridiculous as the weapon was, he learned that it was no laughing matter as he dodged strike after strike. Her form was flawless and executed with the feel of someone who had mastered the forms of swordplay. On some base level, he realized that she wasn't aiming for any fatal areas. He had to disarm her, but still a part of him was reluctant to cause any harm.

Swiftly, he tackled her to the floor and wrested the offending instrument from her grasp and tossed it away. Carefully pinning down her arms and legs, he waited until she stopped struggling and seemed ready to talk. He released her and stepped away quickly once he noticed how her heavy breathing was affecting her chest.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, he started. "Now, if you've calmed down, I'm sorry I offended you. However, a regiment has recently returned from duty if you still seek to ply your trade."

She stood straight up, fury giving her the strength to force him off. "I'm not that kind of woman, you unscrupulous jerk! Get the hell out of my room!"

Comprehension finally dawned on him. She wasn't a courtesan, just merely a maid. But then again….

"Your room?" he asked, a bit warily. "I thought the servants' quarters were on the ground floor."

As soon as she reached and grabbed a sheathed sword from a bedside stand, he knew he was in serious trouble.

0o0o0o0o

Kenshin fell backwards as the doors gave way, his grip on the handle the only thing keeping him marginally upright. Now back in the open seating room, he saw a long lanky figure rushing through the door on the far side of the room.

"Kenshin, you okay? One of the maids said she heard sounds of a fight—"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a diminutive woman rush in through the open door, hair a mess and slippers flying. "I came as soon as Katsu told me," she puffed. "Kaoru, what the devil have you done to the poor man?!"

"Not enough! Get out of my way!"

Sano's voice registered in a sort of ringing fashion. "He's a friend, Kaoru! Put that sword away!"

The blue-eyed woman pierced Sano with a blazing, disbelieving stare. "You know this scum?"

Hurriedly backpedaling from the fury radiating from her figure, Kenshin nearly jumped when he felt a hand clasp his elbow and insistently pull him towards the exit. The sound of raised voices was muted when a hand smoothly shut the door.

Long straight bangs that weren't held back by his bandana flew upward as he expelled a gust of air. "Bad way to meet up again, don't you think?" said the man conversationally. "We met up north once. If you forgot, the name's Katsu."

The redhead nodded dumbly, then winced and stopped the action. The spotty vision was beginning to fade, and he felt more confident as he was able to take firm steps.

The man, Katsu, began to lead him down the hall. "I don't know what's got her all riled up - she's usually not this violent." He did a quick perusal of the redhead's form and frowned. "Looks like just a couple of bruises, but maybe we should get the Fox to check up on you."

Kenshin meekly followed him to the hospital wing, where a woman appeared to be closing up for the night. He waited quietly while the two exchanged words.

"Sorry for the late hour Meg, but I thought I should bring him over just in case."

There was more chatter, and from the doctor's tone, she was not too pleased. He wondered what they all saw when they looked at him.

Inside the infirmary, he was seated on one of the beds as the doctor examined him for anything more than superficial wounds.

"I think she got in a head shot," stated Katsu. "He seems a bit disoriented and hasn't responded when I talked to him. Or maybe he's just scarred. She's in fine form tonight, actually."

The woman hummed and gently probed his shoulder, quickly retracting her hand as he hissed in pain. Kenshin apologized for the inconvenience and thanked her politely when she finished applying ointment to the worst of his bruises. It was then that Sano walked in.

"I haven't seen her that upset for quite some time," he began without preamble. He pulled up short when he saw Kenshin sitting down and Megumi tending his injuries.

"Shit, Kenshin, she really did a number on you," said Sano seriously, taking stock of the bruises with a mixture of concern and disbelief.

Megumi tutted behind them. "Had he not minimized the damage, Kaoru would have dislocated his shoulder. You will have to be careful with it, but otherwise you are going to be dealing with a great degree of soreness for a while. I do not know if it will hinder your sword fighting, but I would suggest giving it a rest." So saying, she packed away her supplies. "Now I have a bone to pick with that girl. Such an uncouth display of violence should not go unchecked. And to have assumed the worst from such a polite man such as yourself!"

Hurriedly Kenshin demurred, lest knowledge of the incident spread. "No no, Miss Megumi, it's entirely my fault. I offended the lady and she only did what she thought was necessary to defend her honor."

Raising one shapely eyebrow, Megumi merely nodded and swept off without any questions. Katsu followed shortly after, closing the door behind him.

He waited until the woman had left the room, then focused the intensity of his glare onto the taller man.

"I thought you might appreciate my discretion, Sano. But if this ever happens again, I will not shelter your lady friend from the depths of your depravity." He spoke, fury lacing his words.

"Didn't know Missy'd be there, that's all. Besides, you're the one who ticked her off."

Kenshin exploded. "What in the devil's name was that for, sending me to a woman's quarters? Were you even thinking?"

Sano shrugged. "I've stayed there all the time and nothing like this ever happened. You should have knocked first," he said with a patronizing air.

"You slept in the same quarters with-?" he hissed, outraged. He knew Sano lacked a certain sense of decorum, but this….

"Yeah, me n' the missy are real tight. We go back years. And it's not like she was in the room!" he added hastily, seeing the shorter man ferociously scowling. "How was I supposed to know that she'd be back from training the recruits?"

Kenshin's confusion gave Sano a brief respite. "This girl is one of your fellow soldiers?" His eyes narrowed in suspicion. It made more sense, now that he considered the skill behind the flurry of blows that she had dished out. But still, what was a lady doing, playing as a soldier?

Snorting, Sano pulled up a stool. "Instructor. And if you've got the chance to get a nice suite due to rank, you'd use it too – instead of bunking with a bunch of guys. But Missy doesn't hit first and ask questions later. It's not like you got a chance to try her cooking. What'd you do, call her ugly?"

"No, far from it… never saw anything more beautiful, or more terrifying…" he trailed off.

Refusing to meet his friend's eyes, the redhead muttered something more that sounded suspiciously like courtesan under his breath.

Sano, who had acute hearing when it suited him the least, had heard and managed to piece together the situation merely through Kenshin's reticence and his own assumptions.

"You think she's pretty?" he mused. "Then why…." Something visibly clicked in his brain, and Kenshin was unprepared for the hand that clapped him firmly on the shoulder, knocking him to the floor.

"You thought I had asked her to warm your bed?" Caught between two equally strong emotions of amusement and abhorrence, he was at a loss of whether to laugh uproariously or choke Kenshin to death, so he did both.

Punching Sano in the gut with his good arm to escape and rubbing his sore throat, Kenshin gasped for air before responding. "It's something that you would do!" the injured man declared hotly, fighting the growing burn of red on his cheeks.

Amusement won out looking at the flustered man before him. Can't entirely deny that, but then again he may be on to something, Sano thought. There also may be something to salvage out of this situation.

"Now look here," he lectured, trying to hold off a grin. "Kaoru is a respectable young woman and deserves to be treated as such. If you wanted to sleep with her, be prepared to properly court and propose to her, not just hang around for a roll in the sheets."

"I wasn't—"

"Well, you're lucky I was there to save your sorry ass!" Sano retorted.

"Yes, I get it, I'm sorry, can we please not talk about this any more?"

"Have it your way. Foxy says you can bunk here tonight, and she'll check up with you in the morning. Gonna see if that couch is still open. 'Night."

Waving lazily, Sano ambled toward the exit. Kenshin gaped at his back.

"You're going back there!"

Sano turned back and gave him a lazy one-shouldered shrug. "Beats the barracks."

Mouth hanging open in shock, he watched his companion walk out. With no other alternative, he stood up off the bed's edge and walked to the head, turning down the sheets. He groaned in relief as his spine sank into the padded mattress. It felt so good to finally sleep in a bed. As he pulled the sheets up and over, he caught the whiff of laundry soap and closed his eyes.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Although he was stiff the following morning, Kenshin decided to take his breakfast with the rest of his fellow soldiers. If he stayed any longer in the infirmary, he would feel like an invalid.

He helped himself to breakfast and found a quiet place to enjoy his meal. He was nearly halfway through by the time Sano stumbled in with groggy eyes and hair still a riotous mess.

"Rough night?"

Sano scowled at him and ignored him in favor of demolishing his plate of eggs and ham. Washing it down with a gulp of ale, he turned baleful eyes at Kenshin.

"A man's allowed to sleep in on vacation. The only reason I woke up was because they don't serve breakfast any later."

"I'm surprised to see you unharmed."

"Sorry to disappoint, but not everyone has your luck with the ladies."

Before Kenshin could come up with a retort, Katsu caught sight of them and strode over. "Hey, didn't see you two over here. How're you feeling, Red?"

"Just a little sore, but I should be fine."

Sano giggled into his mug. Kenshin shot him a mild glare.

"I was meaning to ask, what happened last night?" Katsu asked, settling down at their table.

The redhead rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. His friend decided to take pity on him.

"Eh, don't worry about it. Kenshin just put his foot in his mouth again."

Kenshin seemed relieved with this and Katsu easily accepted the response.

"Missy said something today."

Kenshin was lounging in the library at this time and hadn't been expecting company. Katsu, a good man who in fact he had remembered, had suggested the title. So far, it proved to be entertaining. He wasn't one to carry a grudge, but he had yet to forgive Sagara. His intrusion now was irritating.

Not to be deterred, the lanky man sunk into the chair across from him, stretching out his long legs and adopting a comfortable position: elbows braced on his knees and back slouched over, resting his chin on his knuckles.

"The other ladies are talking."

The swordsman looked up through his red bangs to consider Sano for a moment, before returning his attention to the page.

"I know that you snuck into her room again, Kenshin."

More silence.

Running a hand through his ragged hair, Sano sighed.

"She has threatened to castrate me if you continue to annoy her."

A slight smirk was playing at the edges of Kenshin's mouth. Sano gave him a hard kick and was gratified by a wince.

"Look, whatever you're doing with Missy isn't working."

The redhead finally threw down the book.

"Well, what do you suggest? I've been hounding her around for the past week and she won't so much as acknowledge me! I've attended every single one of those stupid court dinners to see if she'll talk or dance, but nothing!"

Sano watched in amusement as Kenshin stood up and began to pace. "Relax buddy. Just give it a rest and try again some other time. She's got a temper, but Missy's a good friend. You just need to start off on the right foot this time."

"That," growled Kenshin, "is entirely your fault. If I had met her anywhere else-"

"Bet you still would've put your foot in your mouth. Face it, Kenshin," Sano laughed.

Kenshin cringed. "It wasn't the most auspicious of meetings," he ruefully acknowledged. "After all, she did try to kill me."

"Naw, she has non-killing principles," Sano pointed out matter-of-factly.

The redhead shot him a look underneath furrowed brows. "That would have been reassuring to know beforehand. As it stands, this is still your fault, and you owe me."

His friend let out an exaggerated yawn, looking horribly unconcerned. "I'm already in debt up to my eyeballs, what's a little bit more?" He repositioned himself on the couch, resting his spiky hair on a cushion and stretching his legs over the armrest. "After all," he continued, "Missy's like a li'l sis to me. Try to think how strange it is to see my best friend crushing on her."

"Are you objecting?"

Sano gave Kenshin a measuring look. "Not yet. But then again, that's her job, not mine. She's an independent, headstrong individual who can make her own decisions."

"And she's clearly prejudiced. Just great."

Sano seemed to be enjoying his friend's consternation and tried not to laugh at how effectively Kenshin was snubbed.

"Have you tried apologizing? Works on the Fox."

"She apologized first, so that kind of took the wind out of my sails," he confessed.

"You were in a pretty rough state," Sano allowed. "Thought it would stop you from trying anything stupid—"

Kenshin ignored the interruption. "So I thought I'd do something worth apologizing for."

There was a stretch of silence. "Man, your logic is messed up."

The redhead shrugged. "Desperate times…"

Sano grunted in irritation. "And the ladies call you a gentleman. If they knew how devious you are-"

"Then we'll just keep it between ourselves, won't we? I'd hate for the doctor to hear about that campaign in Twinbow."

"...You fight dirty."

"Again, desperate times."

"Like that excuses anything," Sano muttered. He cleared his throat and changed topics. "Aren't you in the least bit turned off by this? I mean, she gave you a thrashing. Don't you have any kind of survival instincts?"

"Yes, and they're telling me to get on her good side," he waved his friend's concerns away. "And I'm sure in a better lighting we'd be able to get along. I never thought I would find a woman interested in sword fighting."

"True, but Kaoru—"

"Help me out."

"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this—"

"I could really use your assistance."

"Rock-and-a-hard-place stuck."

"Please?"

"What, you're begging now? This ain't right."

"I'll name our firstborn after you."

The taller man blanched. Disturbing as that thought was, it drove the point home. Kenshin was serious about this, and for better or worse he'd have to give his friend a fair shot at courting his other friend. He thought hard for a few minutes.

"Best time to talk to her would have to be during the evenings," he considered. "She already wants nothing to do with you in court settings, and she hates her classes being interrupted. She doesn't like suitors hanging around her either. Yeah, looks like you'll have to take it to her turf," Sano decided. Kenshin nodded, listening intently. Brown eyes looked at him skeptically.

"You know, this does involve sneaking into a lady's chambers. Thought you had something against that."

"Done it twice. No need to be coy now." Sano snorted, as if to say coy, yeah right. "So, what then? Ply her with flowers and compliments?"

"Chocolate," corrected Sano, "she likes chocolate. Soften her up a bit." He hesitated. "She has a certain routine every night," he said slowly, as if the words were painful to utter. "Likes to braid her hair before going to sleep. Bet you she won't be as riled."

"Thanks Sano. I'll keep in touch," the swordsman was already moving, intent on following through with his plans.

"And Kenshin?"

The swordsman paused in his haste to get to the door. "Yes?"

Sano winced. "Do not name your firstborn after me. Missy will have both our hides."

Kenshin's grin threatened to split his face. "The second-born then," he said, and closed the doors on the other man's protests.

"In through the window this time, Kenshin?"

Startled by the slow drawl, the swordsman instinctively reached for the sword at his waist, only to find a parcel of chocolates instead. He relaxed when he realized it was only Sano.

Kenshin didn't look embarrassed. "She has taken to locking the door."

The other man scowled, shaking his head. "You'd think that someone would be able to take a hint after nearly being bludgeoned to death."

His friend smiled blithely. "She hasn't said no," Kenshin reminded him.

"True," Sano grumbled, "but why do I have to put up with the two of you idiots?"

One red eyebrow raised over a violet eye. "Too late to back down now," he told his fellow conspirator. "I'm serious about this."

Sano shook his head and shoved his hands farther into his pockets.

"She said if I let you in, it's as good as tying my own noose." Sano's tone was wry. "Be a friend. Could you knock me unconscious before you go?"

Kenshin laughed and rattled his bag of chocolates. "Go and see Megumi, Sano. I don't think she'll kill either of us tonight."

Sano was right about everything, Kenshin noted. It was a good thing that he had a close friend of Kaoru's on his side, because Kaoru was slow to warm up to him. He was making progress anyway. At least they were on more or less good terms now.

"—Are you even listening?"

"I think I want to learn how to braid," Kenshin mused, out of the blue.

Sano looked nonplussed. "We're talking about the best way to care for injured horses. Where do you get braiding from that?"

"I don't know how to braid." Kenshin looked at him plaintively.

"Let me guess, you're thinking about Missy again." Sano put down his ale. "Do I have to help you with everything?" the taller man complained.

"Well, do you know how to braid?" The redhead looked up at him hopefully.

"Hell no!" his friend exploded.

"Then how am I supposed to learn?"

"What the... Kenshin, man, what is wrong with you?"

"Stop freaking out here, it's just hair," he said, experimentally playing with his own red locks.

"Dammit all, just ask Misao!" Sano shot up and started running his fingers through his hair in agitation.

"Great!" exclaimed Kenshin, perking up. "Kaoru's friend, right? Could you introduce us?"

Dragging a hand down his face, the young man groaned. "Why did I ever get myself into this?" he griped aloud. Clearing his throat, he quickly changed the subject before Kenshin could press for that introduction. "Horses are more important right now. You'll need to have to be able to take care of them when we go out on tour the end of summer," he pressed.

"I'm no stable boy," Kenshin grumbled. "And I don't know why I have to go."

"You're a soldier, idiot. All you've done since we've gotten here is train and harass Kaoru."

"I defend the citadel!" the older man protested. "And I'm pretty damn good at it, too!"

"Gotten lazy. Best soldier garrisoned here, my foot. It's time for you to earn your keep," he rapped his knuckles on his friend's forehead.

Kenshin grunted, but didn't bother to return the insult and risk putting his friend in a sour mood.

"And maybe it's about time you focus on something else. Missy will be here, but you have to focus on why you're here," the taller man continued.

The other soldier submitted to the rebuke. Sano continued in a similar vein for a quarter of an hour and Kenshin endured with unfailing patience. The swordsman professed his sincere commitment to the upcoming task and a promise to be a more reliable partner.

"...and in the meantime, I'll remember to take my duties seriously and be a model of good behavior for the rest of our fellow soldiers," the redhead intoned, raising his palm as if taking an oath.

"Sounds good," the other man grunted. "Can't ask for more than that, I s'ppose."

"Good," said Kenshin with relish. "So... where's Misao at?" he grinned widely.

After so long a separation, the sight of her was enough to make Kenshin's throat run dry and his heart to beat faster.

"Your hair is already braided," he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

Kaoru nearly dropped her lamp. And there he was, seated in his chair as if he hadn't been absent for the past six weeks. Unconsciously her hand went up to check. "Yes."

He continued to stare. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

Kaoru's eyebrow twitched. "I didn't even know you returned. Your unit was only supposed to have been gone a month," she retorted.

Kenshin laughed in delight. "You did miss me," he crowed. "Still, I wish you could have waited. I missed our little ritual too." He moved closer, and took the lamp from her hands and placed it nearby on the dresser. He held his arms open temptingly, and the woman moved in grudgingly.

She huffed at him. "You've kept me waiting for too long," she muttered against his chest.

"Apologies are in order, then." He tilted her chin up for a soft kiss.

Humming softly as he pulled away, blue eyes looked at him with a smile. "I like that apology."

Kenshin thought his heart couldn't get any fuller at the moment. "It's good to be back. I missed you too." He wound her braid around his hand, playing with the ends.

Kaoru indulged in a few more moments of bliss before she broke the embrace. "As wonderful as it is to see you again, you really are late," Kaoru reproached him. She gave him another kiss and pushed him firmly towards the window. "I'll see you tomorrow then, Kenshin. Good night," she said, stifling a yawn and moving towards her bed. She heard a soft sigh, then the sound of the window being closed. She was just settling down into the pillows when she felt the mattress dip.

She stilled, turning to search around in the darkness. "Kenshin?"

"You remember, I said I would follow you to bed one of these days. And now seems like a good time to act upon such a promise." He looked at her steadily, clearly daring her to kick him out.

Kaoru sighed in capitulation, relaxing against him as he happily settled in beside her. Smiling, she met Kenshin's searching fingers with her own and interlaced them.

"Good, because I was intending on beating a proposal out of you in the morning."

Laughing softly, he pulled her closer.

"Go to sleep, Kaoru." He nuzzled his face into her hair. "I'll be here when you wake."

So there ends the two-shot. Hope you enjoyed. :)